Home » A Few Things We’ve Been Asked To Review We Are Definitely Not Reviewing

A Few Things We’ve Been Asked To Review We Are Definitely Not Reviewing

We Get Emails Ts2
ADVERTISEMENT

This is an extremely silly post, and if you become a member of this website in order to support what we do here, then you can also read it.

Also, the pop-over video player and display ads will disappear! That’s cool.

Vidframe Min Top
Vidframe Min Bottom

 

Share on facebook
Facebook
Share on whatsapp
WhatsApp
Share on twitter
Twitter
Share on linkedin
LinkedIn
Share on reddit
Reddit
Subscribe
Notify of
99 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
3WiperB
Member
3WiperB
1 day ago

Regarding that RAM radio, I actually had an Eonon radio a while back and it was shockingly decent. They made a touchscreen radio that fit my Saturn Astra and integrated with the Canbus to keep all of the functionality that was in the stock radio and allowed me to still use the little stock info center screen that remained in the car. They even honored the warranty when it stopped working after a couple years and shipped me an upgraded version. But yeah, there was a language barrier when dealing with their support. But they have been around at least 10 years at this point.

Last edited 1 day ago by 3WiperB
MikeInTheWoods
Member
MikeInTheWoods
1 day ago

Matt, I see that it says “have a new car review every week”. I hope that means that it will be a new review of an older or interesting car each week. Cars that are actually “new” are not interesting at all. I’m guessing I’m not the only Autopian who thinks that. I parked our car in a row of crossover/SUV blobs last week. They were all black-white-grey blobs. The little Civic Si stood out. My wife has good tastes in fun cars.

Lotsofchops
Member
Lotsofchops
1 day ago
Reply to  MikeInTheWoods

I doubt he could find 52 new cars to review even if he wanted to. Or at least worth reviewing.

Twister Guy
Member
Twister Guy
1 day ago

I’m a big Dr. Greger follower and usually I’m up to date about his stuff but apparently my other favourite read (ie The Autopian) beat him to bringing me the news about a new documentary?

Nlpnt
Member
Nlpnt
1 day ago

There’s a nucleus of an Autopian Asks in Illusions of Trust.
How would you car-cast this novel?

>The rich and powerful in New York live by different rules than most, where the costliest lies are wrapped in truth, and trust can be the most dangerous illusion of all. But Russell Palmer is a young, idealistic attorney (SCION IQ), willing to take on difficult and intriguing cases, pursuing the truth regardless of the consequences.

When the wealthy and attractive Christina Franco (AUDI Q…who cares? Make it a DKW 3=6 Universal and we’re talking…) approaches him to handle her divorce, Palmer’s protective instincts are immediately aroused. Not only does she describe an abusive marriage and serious financial concerns, but she also mentions one of her husband’s most dangerous associates, someone with whom Palmer has battled in the past. Despite the misgivings of Robbie Whyte, a retired NYPD detective (VW NEW BEETLE in that light metallic green) who is committed to watching Palmer’s back, the young lawyer decides to help her. Yet soon after making that decision, matters begin to spiral out of control — beginning with the apparent suicide of a prominent lawyer; then a murder for which someone is trying to frame another of Palmer’s clients; and a federal investigation into a major pharmaceutical company with ties to Christina’s husband.

Nlpnt
Member
Nlpnt
1 day ago
Reply to  Nlpnt

Whoops, forgot a character

“…a major pharmaceutical company with ties to Christina’s husband. (CHEVROLET COBALT)

Cheap Bastard
Member
Cheap Bastard
1 day ago

“Sony Honda Mobility of America Inc. (SHMA) has opened a new AFEELA Studio at Westfield Valley Fair in San Jose, CA. The new studio, which will remain open for a six-month engagement, offers South Bay Area residents an opportunity to experience the innovative features of the AFEELA 1 firsthand.”

Will there be snacks? I might go if there are snacks.

Luxrage
Member
Luxrage
1 day ago

Love the tone-deaf, double worded, copy-pasted amazon-listing-filler that Carpuride one is. Like they’ve never actually looked at the site.

Last edited 1 day ago by Luxrage
PlugInPA
Member
PlugInPA
1 day ago
Reply to  Luxrage

“Carpuride” sounds like an emetic, also. Terrible name.

Waremon0
Member
Waremon0
2 days ago

Experience “innovative features” of a car that doesn’t move. I’m sorry but the innovative features I want in a car pertain to: get me from Point A to Point B.

DialMforMiata
Member
DialMforMiata
2 days ago

“Illusions of Trust” needs more Mack Hardigraw.

Steve's House of Cars
Member
Steve's House of Cars
1 day ago
Reply to  DialMforMiata

It’s been too long since we got a good update on his adventurers!

I_drive_a_truck
Member
I_drive_a_truck
2 days ago

Post the book review, COWARD!

StillNotATony
Member
StillNotATony
2 days ago

Anybody getting a whole “She breasted boobily down the stairs” kind of impression from the description of Illusions of Trust?

Tbird
Member
Tbird
2 days ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

Hey now, don’t infringe on Lateopian…

Mechjaz
Member
Mechjaz
2 days ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

In Bust We Trust

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
2 days ago

That writer must be pretty desperate for reviews to send his book to a car site (though I fully understand!). Seems odd for a “best thriller”, especially with what looks like an AI generated cover and content that could be inspired by an AI query asking for an idea for a thriller by someone who wants to write a book, but lacks inspiration.

Speaking of Joyce, I’m convinced nobody has actually finished Ulysses (not even an editor, as I’ll explain), or at least not more than driven their eyes over the lines and heard the words in their heads without processing the actual meaning of the writing. Critics declared it one of the greatest books of all time because who would dispute them? Once you snooze your way through the first twenty pages or so, there’s a conversation involving more than two parties without any dialogue tags (there are none in the book as far as I could stand to read) and Joyce wasn’t a good enough writer to give his characters distinctive enough voices to tell them apart without them (and why would anyone care to bother?—the damn book is about as compelling and desirable as elevator small talk with strangers). Oh, and the last 20+ pages or so depending on edition are a single sentence. I could be sentenced to solitary prison for decades with no other books to read and it would still probably take me 10 years to bother giving it another shot.

Mechjaz
Member
Mechjaz
2 days ago
Reply to  Cerberus

I’ve read Infinite Jest, House of Leaves, and 2666. I haven’t read Gravity’s Rainbow or Ulysses. I’m a perfectly pretentious shithead to try to take it on, but I have a very good notion I’d have no fucking clue what it said and that if I didn’t know it was a retreading of The Odyssey, I’d never figure that out, either.

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
2 days ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

I used to be a lot more pretentious, but have flipped as I’ve aged and realized that, while I can appreciate the talent often on display in stuff that is critically admired (but not popular with the public), most of the time, I only see it through the eyes of technical expertise, not as a story or other work. Those kinds of books/movies/songs aren’t usually the things that resonate with me or that I find entertaining and are definitely not something I go to twice and I started to ask myself what standard something should meet for me to consider it good. I ended up siding with entertainment and emotional connection over technical brilliance. That said, I still curl my lip a little at something that I feel is too popular.

The Odyssey is one of my favorite stories, so I was intrigued, plus I was curious about what passed for “pornographic” that got Ulysses banned at some point early on. I tried, but after re-reading several pages of the 3+ speaker scene multiple times trying to figure out who was saying what as my ADD brain demanded to know WTF I was doing this, it ended up in the free books bin* with probably 1000 yellowed-page, dog-eared formulaic mass market checkout line romance novels with Fabio on the cover that actually got read and enjoyed.

*It didn’t actually get chucked immediately. A friend borrowed it and came to the same conclusion. He’s the one who pointed out the end being one sentence, though he hadn’t read through entirely.

Mechjaz
Member
Mechjaz
2 days ago
Reply to  Cerberus

Oh. I adore The Odyssey. Have you read Emily Wilson’s translation? It literally gives me chills.

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
1 day ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

No, but I’ve loved it since reading kid versions (it was the ’80s, so a “kid” version didn’t pull as many punches as it would now) when I was a kid. Odysseus’ character, reluctant to go to war, arrogant, brilliant, merciless with the suitors, was the Greek hero I identified with and his journey home resonated with me. Years later, I read a paper contending that the story could be seen as a metaphor for PTSD, which I had (though I didn’t know it at the time), and I have often wondered if part of me also picked up on that and that’s why it meant so much to me. I even wrote a book about three animal adventurers that’s a tongue-in-cheek and heavily cut-down homage to The Odyssey (turns out, when you remove the sex and much of the violence in the interest of opening up the potential age range of the audience, the story is a lot shorter).

Mechjaz
Member
Mechjaz
1 day ago
Reply to  Cerberus

More substantively, Infinite Jest came at a time when I was in the mental health unit and just… Was right for where I was and what I needed. Would I read it again? Maybe, though admittedly unlikely. But it is important to me, and while being in low-key jail definitely made it easier to focus on it, once I did I couldn’t put it down, even when I got out. It said things I needed to hear, it challenged me when I needed the challenge, it made me feel like the smartest bastard alive when I got a joke, and it had so much bizarre mundanity I found it soothing at times.

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
1 day ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

It’s awesome when something can connect with you so powerfully, sometimes in ways the artist never intended. But what is an artist’s intent against the machinations of the Muses?

Sensual Bugling Elk
Member
Sensual Bugling Elk
1 day ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

House of Leaves is the only reading experience that ever made me wonder if I wasn’t smart enough to be reading this book, or if this book had just made me profoundly dumber.

Mechjaz
Member
Mechjaz
1 day ago

It was the sheer unhingedness of it that appealed to me. The way it subverted the very notion of a novel is/was extremely appealing to me. The physicality of it – oh. I really do love it. And I love the story, too. It’s so deeply unsettling, and that’s mirrored in unsettling format of the book. It’s bugnuts and I don’t even think it’s the pretentious part of me – I’m drawn to queasy, subversive media. Cruelty Squad (a videogame) screws around with what’s it like to even play a game but has deep internal consistency that it takes time to realize. Doki Doki Literature Club was another weird game that did other weird shit that was more than a game.

Not always, of course. Lately I’ve been playing mechabellum, which is basically smashing toy robots together over and over and LOVE it. But that weird shit like HoL does have deep and genuine appeal to me, yet I’d absolutely respect someone wondering “wtf is this shit?” and totally passing on it.

Sensual Bugling Elk
Member
Sensual Bugling Elk
1 day ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

I definitely said “wtf is this shit” but soldiered on to the end anyway. It’s been a while though, so sounds like I should re-read it! Your perspective on the unhingedness might drastically improve my reading experience this time around.

I went from “this is the workings of a maniac and I hate it” to “this is the workings of a maniac and I love it” with A Canticle for Leibowotz with a five-year break between readings, so maybe HoL is the same deal.

Droid
Member
Droid
2 days ago
Reply to  Cerberus

“The books that everybody admires are those that nobody reads” – Anatoly France.

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
2 days ago
Reply to  Droid

I like that.

AssMatt
Member
AssMatt
1 day ago
Reply to  Cerberus

“20+ pages or so are a single sentence”

Gabriel Garcia Marquez: Mantenga mi cerveza.

Adrian Clarke
Editor
Adrian Clarke
2 days ago

If Eonon want to send me their single DIN Carplay head unit I will install it in the Mini and review it – because that’s the one I’ve been looking to buy.

I don't hate manual transmissions
Member
I don't hate manual transmissions
2 days ago
Reply to  Adrian Clarke

This sounds like a great idea.

Of course, just because you write it, that doesn’t mean they have to publish it, right? 😉

Adrian Clarke
Editor
Adrian Clarke
1 day ago

It would an extremely rare example of the “Adrian wrenches” type of article.

Drive By Commenter
Member
Drive By Commenter
2 days ago

Make it waterproof and padded. Then it would be a big help to PWC riders for navigation and streaming tunes. Well, help is subjective. As if those tempermental little boats needed anything else to fail. Or another way to annoy people by blasting music in addition to the noises of a small displacement 3 or 4 banger droning on and on at 4-5k RPM.

Trust Doesn't Rust
Member
Trust Doesn't Rust
2 days ago

I’m guessing Dr. Greger probably saw content relating to wheelbarrows full of shrimp, the best/worst foods to eat on a road trip, shower spaghetti, et. al. and wanted to reach out to those in most need of help.

Tbird
Member
Tbird
2 days ago

A weekly new car review would be nice to keep and maybe grow traffic. I love this site for what it is, and DO NOT desire for it to change it’s core.

That said, more actual reviews and experiences would be nice. New car/motorcycle in the seat reviews and previews have been lacking in recent months. Not sure if it is backlog, overload, lack of access. This is not a criticism, and may just be reality.

Last edited 2 days ago by Tbird
Drive By Commenter
Member
Drive By Commenter
2 days ago
Reply to  Tbird

Most of the writers are based in the northern latitudes. And the one who isn’t has zero interest in reviewing anything that isn’t a rusty Jeep.

Tbird
Member
Tbird
2 days ago

I have enjoyed Adrian’s over the pond reviews of machines we will never see here. Same Mercedes’ motorcycle reviews, though I likely will never buy one.

Mercedes Streeter
Mercedes Streeter
2 days ago

Living near Chicago is actually great for car reviews. There’s a massive press car pool in the city, and the cars get delivered to your door. Admittedly, my lack of reviews is largely due to overload. But I do want to adjust some things and review more cars this year. I mean, it’s a perk of the job, I might as well use it, right?

REO Swedewagen
REO Swedewagen
2 days ago

Your F-250 press car shi…uhh..odyssey to Baltimore…was the best review I read all year.

Last edited 2 days ago by REO Swedewagen
Tbird
Member
Tbird
2 days ago
Reply to  REO Swedewagen

This, and Mercedes probably does more regular (and regular person) reviews than most. Thomas pulls his weight as well.

1978fiatspyderfan
Member
1978fiatspyderfan
2 days ago

Have you considered a column “A great lawyer reviews a new car every week”? Might solve some issues.
Just saying.

Mechjaz
Member
Mechjaz
1 day ago

*sidles up like Zoidberg* Frieeend, let your buddy mechjaz help you review some motorcycles why not?

Jack Trade
Member
Jack Trade
2 days ago

OMG you’re not reviewing all these things?! Isn’t it just one easy trick? Sadly, it really must be true – they don’t want us to know!!

Ostronomer
Member
Ostronomer
2 days ago

the American College of Lifestyle Medicine” ….

Ranwhenparked
Member
Ranwhenparked
2 days ago

Have you been contacted by anyone who makes V8 motorcycle frames?

4moremazdas
Member
4moremazdas
2 days ago

I can’t say I’ve read the book, but I had a friend whose spouse got really into the “how not to die” book.

From my understanding, the guy believes there’s no such thing as “dying of old age” or from natural causes and we could literally not die if we just didn’t eat anything that introduced “toxins” into our system.

Examples of things that introduced toxins? Naturally any artificial flavorings or sweeteners, sure. But also cooked potatoes or roasted nuts. Any kind of meat. Most natural sugars. Cooked vegetables of almost any kind. Butter. Maybe all dairy? I can’t recall. Etc Etc.

His primary evidence was that his aging mother was diagnosed with cancer and stopped eating a bunch of stuff and her cancer magically got better and she lived a lot longer. Very scientific stuff. Although, I think she did eventually die, so pretty sure it’s still false advertising.

Spikersaurusrex
Member
Spikersaurusrex
2 days ago
Reply to  4moremazdas

No meat, no cooked plants, no dairy. I like raw salads as much as anyone, but they certainly aren’t complete nutrion, are they? If I stop eating everything, I’ll live until I die? Awesome. Not saying I couldn’t stand to reduce the amount I eat, but that’s another issue.

4moremazdas
Member
4moremazdas
2 days ago

I try to live pretty “healthy” and certainly want to maintain good health and fitness late into life, but I’m of the mind that good food and drink are part of the fun of the journey, and make decisions accordingly. Sometimes it’s just worth it.

1978fiatspyderfan
Member
1978fiatspyderfan
2 days ago
Reply to  4moremazdas

Just as an fyi there has been a study done and if you are ever stranded somewhere the big fat guy outlives everybody. And not just because he eats everybody.
Tastes like chicken.

AssMatt
Member
AssMatt
2 days ago

“If I stop eating everything, I’ll live until I die? Awesome.”

Let’s see if we can simplify and add lightness:

“I’ll live until I die. Awesome!”

Jb996
Member
Jb996
1 day ago
Reply to  AssMatt

This reminds me of a passage:
“Give a man a fire and he’s warm for a day, but set fire to him and he’s warm for the rest of his life.” ― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

Tbird
Member
Tbird
2 days ago

My partner got cancer about 8 years ago. Started looking into all these alternatives. We adopted some principles, but man that is no way to live.

Y2Keith
Member
Y2Keith
2 days ago

They don’t guarantee that you’ll live longer, but it’ll certainly feel like it.

1978fiatspyderfan
Member
1978fiatspyderfan
2 days ago
Reply to  Y2Keith

Every one lives until they die, and the damaged airplane will be guaranteed to make it to the scene of the crash.

DNF
DNF
23 hours ago

Please!
They very much prefer that you call it an involuntary conversion.

1978fiatspyderfan
Member
1978fiatspyderfan
2 days ago

That diet is healthy until you add the half a jar of dressing needed to make it edible on a daily basis. I love raw veggies but the only food I could exist on is pizza

PlugInPA
Member
PlugInPA
1 day ago

It’s possible to live on just potatoes, but not especially enjoyable.

Tbird
Member
Tbird
2 days ago
Reply to  4moremazdas

At a point, I just want to be happy and certain UNHEALTHY foods just make me happy. I’m not downing junk on the daily, we eat pretty healthy overall. But sometimes I just want Taco Bell.

1978fiatspyderfan
Member
1978fiatspyderfan
2 days ago
Reply to  Tbird

I wonder do you actually live longer or like marriage you just feel like it is longer?
DT ignore this comment you will definitely live longer and healthier with She Who Will Not Be Named taking care of you. You were destined for an early grave and probably due to some weird jeep infection.

Y2Keith
Member
Y2Keith
1 day ago

“Does this mean no more shower spaghetti?” –DT, probably

Trust Doesn't Rust
Member
Trust Doesn't Rust
2 days ago
Reply to  4moremazdas

For those really trying to extend their lives on this [gestures broadly] place…why?

At this point I’m just hoping for a quick, painless death.

Tbird
Member
Tbird
2 days ago

At times I’m glad I grew up in a Cold War total annihalation zone.

4moremazdas
Member
4moremazdas
2 days ago

I’m mainly trying to avoid being caught in a “life” where my body isn’t capable of doing the things I enjoy for 40-50 years.

1978fiatspyderfan
Member
1978fiatspyderfan
2 days ago
Reply to  4moremazdas

On that note it sucks having problems tying my shoes.

Bkp
Member
Bkp
1 day ago

After two knee replacements, I’ve stuck with slip on shoes. Go ahead and rock some Vans or whatever floats your boat.

Of course your problem is likely not the same as mine, but if all you need to wear is tennies/sneakers/trainers, plenty of options.

1978fiatspyderfan
Member
1978fiatspyderfan
2 days ago
Reply to  4moremazdas

Just saying a car web site provides many reasons for death that no diet can prevent. I slid of the road and down a 800 foot cliff and my car exploded but thanks to eating this new super food not only did I survive I got a fantastic tan. Subscribe to find out this new super food. It’s waffles

DNF
DNF
23 hours ago
Reply to  4moremazdas

If you stop eating everything you like, it just feels like forever.

Dodsworth
Member
Dodsworth
2 days ago

It’s not a review if it’s advertising? Got it.

Jb996
Member
Jb996
2 days ago
Reply to  Dodsworth

We’re NOT reviewing these things.

Here’s a bunch of information, content, links, and free advertising for the things which we are NOT reviewing; just to be clear.

Drew
Member
Drew
2 days ago

Well, this seems like an endorsement of all these products. Gonna have to read both those books, buy a 2018 Ram, order that head unit, get my motorcycle endorsement, buy a motorcycle, get the CarPlay thing, and go stand near an AFEELA.

You’re sure asking a lot of me, Matt.

Last edited 2 days ago by Drew
Drew
Member
Drew
2 days ago
Reply to  Matt Hardigree

Fine. I’ll go stand near an AFEELA. But I’m not going to enjoy the live DJ or the exclusive giveaways.

Clear_prop
Member
Clear_prop
2 days ago
Reply to  Matt Hardigree

I’ve actually stood near the AFEELA at Valley Fair. The Autopian sacrifice has been accomplished.

Pics posted on Discord awhile back.

Rang
Member
Rang
2 days ago
Reply to  Drew

Almost sounds like new billboard day

Drew
Member
Drew
1 day ago
Reply to  Rang

Pfft, AFEELA, you can’t eat that.

JurassicComanche25
Member
JurassicComanche25
2 days ago

AFEELA 1. AFEELA 2. AFEELA 3. Then i got kicked out, because the gentlemans club has a ‘No a feelin’ policy.

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch
Member
Carbon Fiber Sasquatch
2 days ago

After AFEELA 5 comes AFEELA BALBOA

Spikersaurusrex
Member
Spikersaurusrex
2 days ago

You’re just lucky the bouncer didn’t AFEELA like kicking your butt.

PlugInPA
Member
PlugInPA
1 day ago

AFEELA 2 Electric Boogaloo

Jack Beckman
Member
Jack Beckman
2 days ago

AFEELA lotta bad puns around the Sonymobile incoming…

Anoos
Member
Anoos
2 days ago

Is there a point to having a car play device on a bike? I just assume you could mount the actual phone in that spot.

I don’t know. I don’t ride motorcycles.

Lava5.0
Member
Lava5.0
2 days ago
Reply to  Anoos

I was actually all for a review of the carplay bike think until you pointed out the phone mount… I guess not having to use your phone in all weather is nice, though wireless car play rips through battery life.

DNF
DNF
23 hours ago
Reply to  Lava5.0

There are waterproof navigation units.

Mercedes Streeter
Mercedes Streeter
2 days ago
Reply to  Anoos

Honestly? Not really. Yeah, I suppose putting your phone on the handlebar is inelegant and requires a USB power source, but I have never felt compelled to add more tech to my riding experience. Certainly, a big screen is not something I’ve ever asked for on a motorcycle.

A. Barth
A. Barth
2 days ago

I have a phone holder attached to the FZ6R for the rare occasions I want to use nav while riding, but otherwise the phone stays in the cross-body bag where it won’t fall out. 🙂

So far I haven’t felt the need to use a USB charger with it, which simplifies things a bit.

Anoos
Member
Anoos
2 days ago

Does it require USB power? I’m pretty sure my phone can play audio through a bluetooth connection for longer than I’d care to ride in a single stint (if I did ride).

Ishkabibbel
Member
Ishkabibbel
2 days ago
Reply to  Anoos

I had a Harley with an iPod connector in one of the bags. There was no up front display, and I could control the basics from the hand controls. I curated the playlist and kept it on shuffle at all times – and it was perfectly fine.

Really the only frustration was when I wanted a cool song to play at a deafening level while pulling up to a meet and the random function kept pulling up songs that weren’t cool enough for the moment LOL

DNF
DNF
23 hours ago
Reply to  Ishkabibbel

Bike?
Ace of Spades

A. Barth
A. Barth
2 days ago

This CarPlay Thing For Motorcycles

They should call it Vigo…

Vigo the Carplaything

Elhigh
Elhigh
2 days ago
Reply to  A. Barth

GodDAMMIT that’s GENIUS.

(Read in R. Lee Ermey voice)

10001010
Member
10001010
2 days ago
Reply to  A. Barth

* Intended for user on Gozer brand motorcycles.

A. Barth
A. Barth
2 days ago
Reply to  10001010

“Is, ehhh, your bike a Gozer? Hey? Know what I mean? A Gozer? Wink wink nudge nudge!”

99
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x