The thing about cars named after places is that usually, someone will eventually want to drive them to their namesake. Okay, so it’s unlikely we’ll see a Chevrolet Monte Carlo in Monte Carlo, but someone’s definitely driven an Alfa Romeo Stelvio up the Stelvio Pass, and I wouldn’t be surprised if someone’s taken a Chrysler Sebring for a flyer around the famous Floridian racing circuit. But what if you want to take a Kia Telluride to Telluride?
Well, I wouldn’t recommend going via Black Bear Pass. This craggy trail starts at the summit of Red Mountain Pass, ends down in Telluride, and used to be marked with the following sign.
TELLURIDE âžž
CITY OF GOLD 12 MILES – 2 HOURS
YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE CRAZY TO DRIVE THIS ROAD – BUT IT HELPS
JEEPS ONLY
As you can imagine, it’s not the sort of environment best suited to a three-row crossover utility vehicle, but that didn’t stop one driver from messing around and finding out the hard way. According to the San Miguel County Sheriff, “A South Carolina man drove his Kia Telluride up the one way road on Black Bear Rd, despite being advised not to do so by people in the area.” Care to guess what happened next?
Yep, I’d call that properly stuck. Whether the Telluride slid off the trail or the driver took the wrong line, this crossover seems to be beached. We’re talking enough rocks under the car to lift a tire, not to mention the precarious position this vehicle’s been put in. It’s also worth mentioning that this appears to have happened on one of the easier parts of the trail. Things get far more difficult than this, and the Telluride’s modest eight inches of ground clearance, long 114.2-inch wheelbase, open differentials, highway tires, and low-hanging chin spoiler all conspire to make it a machine more fit for the school run than running trails.
Even a base Jeep Wrangler 4 Door has 9.7 inches of ground clearance and a crawl ratio for multiplying torque at the wheels, and while its wheelbase is longer than that of the Telluride, it does sport significantly better approach and departure angles. (Even the most capable Telluride has an approach angle of only 18 degrees, and a departure angle of just 23.2; a base Wrangler 4-door has over a 41 degree approach angle and 36 degree departure angle).
While a lapse in judgement seems to have occurred, the driver appears to have been lucky. That’s quite a drop-off to the left, so getting hung up on rocks is probably a best-case scenario. Unfortunately, the Telluride is now in need of a tow, and the sheriff says “it is unknown at this point when this can happen.” Given that just going around the Telluride might not be the safest option, the famed road is now closed, meaning that a Telluride is now blocking a road to Telluride.
When the entrance to a road recommends short-wheelbase four-wheel-drive vehicles only, it might be a good idea to take it seriously. If you want to drive a Telluride to Telluride, don’t be this driver, just take highway 145. It’s way easier that way.
Top graphic image: San Miguel County Sheriff
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What a complete jabroni.
Aside: Four Willys Wagons just did this route a few weeks ago. Spectacular vintage rides.
The road to hell is paved with overconfidence, usually male.
This is the same overconfidence that leads to all kinds of car accidents, conspiracy theories, avoiding healthcare, and buying and thinking an AWD crossover can off road.
Maybe Kia should just call their next vehicle Gary. After Gary, Indiana. You’re unlikely to get stuck on rocks there.
What you did there, I see it.
Hope he got the rental insurance. Probably needs brakes too from all the braking on the interstate.
Could’ve been worse **picturing the video of the Jeep tumbling down the pass years ago**
This also looks like he was driving the wrong way (uphill) on a downhill only trail, near the Telluride town side.
Several people have taken Renegades, Subarus, and other questionable crossovers down the trail, often even semi-successfully with a skilled driver. Many other people have destroyed very capable Jeeps, 4Runners, trucks and the like with bad line choices, bad luck, and bad decisions. Luckily this Telluride stopped before a much worse tumble.
Given the sideways drag marks leading to the uphill tires, looks like the low clearance kept it from sliding over the edge and taking the long tumble down. Driving the wrong way up the one way road, despite being told not to, this was inches from a Darwin award.
Like others have said, red “FLT” license plate with no company logos means it is a rental car, and this happens all the time across trails around Colorado. I have passed dozens and dozens of stuck rentals when I am out in my Jeep, and more often than not they are stuck in spots where it was clearly the driver skill coming up short, not the vehicle. This appears to be yet another one of those scenarios.
Come to Colorado to be a badass. Leave Colorado as a dumbass.
The driver’s door was left open. Probably trying to get the sh!t fragrance out of the interior.
At one point The 24 Hours of Lemons offered free race entry to anyone racing a Chrysler Sebring at Sebring. IIRC three teams took them up on this.
Is there an off-road equivalent to Lemons? A crowd of crossovers attempting to do this would be entertaining to watch.
Gambler 500
Oh that looks wonderful
And they actually do good – part of their events includes hauling out trash, and they’ve cleaned up many different areas.
You can totally do that road in that vehicle if you’re not dumb. In this case, I believe that there is ample evidence that the driver was dumb
I suspect this is the same person who high centers their RAV4 on a decorative boulder in the strip mall parking lot.
You know anyone driving a CO red plate is in a rental car… The only thing that surprises me about this is the person wasn’t from Texas.
Since its a rental car, they could be.
He was from South Carolina.
Its always Black Bear Pass
Speaking of cars named after places, is GM going to change Denali to McKinley to appease the current administration?
GMC Denali, Chevrolet McKinley would’ve been interesting to do.
No, but every Maserati Mexico will henceforth be known as a “Maserati America”.
Looks to me that they were pulling to the side to pass or let someone else pass. Still they were dumb to attempt it in the first place, especially with a rental
And that’s why it is a one way road, didn’t help they went the wrong direction on the one way
Toonces decided that today was not the day!
I bet not many people remember Toonces.
Maybe if it was the Tooncenator, they would have gone over.
Toonces… the driving cat.
Dumb dumb dumb. It’s not even an X-Pro, it’s an X-Line. That would have made ALL the difference. The locking diff, more aggressive tires and sharper approach/departure angles make the X-Pro a beast from the east!
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With the right driver it might have done better, but the person who makes this type of decision in the first place is not that driver.
Fred Williams did Black Bear in a Jeep Renegade a few years back on Dirt Every Day.
If they jump on it quickly, Kia could do a nice marketing stunt by getting a professional driver to pull this off as proof it wasn’t the car’s fault.
Professional driver on closed course, do not attempt.
Desperation. I can only think of Matt…. They have been seen doing work out of state.
https://mattsoffroadrecovery.com/?srsltid=AfmBOoo5MgfmpEqOaw9jM0QvP3b7w4pXRsoz4_XAB9zNoT2LnlMOg-7x
So I guess it didn’t live up to its name then…
Looks like a little lift/shove and down the hill it goes. Problem solved. Road is clear. Hope he got the rental insurance…
That’s a rental license plate.
100%.
Yep… it helps to spot the rental cars on I70 who have no fucking clue how to drive.
This is going to keep happening until they figure out how to regulate traffic on this pass. No one wants to see this route permanently closed so lets get this figured out. My suggestion is to do like caves on BLM land, where you have to get the code to a padlock from the BLM office when you pick up your free permit to unlock the gate.
Or they can do like the Outer Banks of NC and charge a bunch of money to get the permit. In the 90s the OBX was free to drive on. Now it’s a minimum $50/7 day pass, or a yearly pass for a bit more. Still annoying to me as I used to drive up there for frequent day trips as I live about 2-3 hours away, but since they started charging so much I stopped going.
About a tank of gas for a year’s pass isn’t too bad, considering how many trails are either closed or trashed and then closed.
So many of my best drives have been unplanned, including Black Bear a few years ago when I was in the area and fall conditions were perfect (snowing climbing Imogene the next day). A gate wouldn’t have helped in this case anyway, as the driver was coming up out of Telluride the wrong way. I know what you’re getting at though, and feel like the BLM cave permit program has helped with rescues and vandalism where implemented.