A man in an allegedly stolen construction vehicle led police on an epic hour-long chase. How did he maintain a pursuit of that length? Because the top speed was no more than three mph. Sigh. Is there a SMDH emoji?
According to the Associated Press, the North Charleston Police Department was responding to an unrelated call when they noticed a tractor excavator traveling across U.S. Highway 78. Not so strange a sight during the day, but at around 3:30 a.m.? Something’s up, yo.
Lo and behold, soon after, a burglary is reported nearby. When officers arrived, they noted the damaged property and saw a male suspect dawdling away via the same excavator they had seen earlier. Not all police chases are created equal. Based on the police report, the AP said:
“Several cars immediately joined in the very slow speed pursuit. The excavator was going so slow that the cruisers would have to briefly stop several times a minute to not pass the construction equipment.
They had their blue lights and sirens on and told the excavator driver over their loudspeakers that he was under arrest and needed to stop. Other cruisers blocked traffic.”
This went on for exactly one hour and 12 minutes. I walk my daily 5K faster than that. The slow-as-molasses lead-follow ended only after the not-so-subtle piece of heavy equipment ran aground at the county fairgrounds. But that’s when the suspect decided to make like the Flintstones and use his legs to get away. The chase continued via drone until a K-9 unit apprehended him.
If you think that’s wild, the backstory of this backhoe bust is even wackier. An investigation by The Post and Courier, the South’s oldest daily newspaper, reveals the peak pettiness of the jailed 53-year-old suspect. Supposedly stealing what was identified as a Komatsu track hoe excavator (from where?!), the suspect drove the vehicle onto the shared property of multiple businesses, crashing into two of them.
“[The] Golden Pine Straw landscaping supply store and barber shop that are owned by the Tiburcios husband and wife team, the same couple who owns the grocery store, were destroyed.
Police estimated the damage at $10,000, according to arrest warrant affidavits.”
The owners told the news outlet that they were unsure of the true cost of repairs. “All we know it is destroyed and we don’t even know why the person did it,” the wife said. But she had her suspicions. The Post and Courier noted:
“Tiburcio said previous security footage shows that a man she believes to be the suspect came into her business about a month ago searching for alcohol, which she doesn’t sell. He ‘threw a tantrum’ outside and broke tables and a mailbox while cursing, she said.”
An excavator joyride would be a toddler’s dream come true, so the tantrum-throwing fits the vibe. It’s no surprise either that the suspect has an extensive criminal record spanning multiple counties, one that dates back to the early ’90s, reported The Post and Courier:
“In Berkeley County, [the suspect] has incurred nearly 30 charges dating back to 1993, records show.
He has pleaded guilty to charges including second-degree burglary, grand larceny, possession of drugs, unlawful carrying of a pistol and malicious injury to property.”
With bail set at $22,000, the career criminal’s latest charges include failure to stop for blue lights, malicious injury to property, and malicious injury to real property enhancement. I wonder if he’ll get time served for the duration of the “car chase,” because that seemed like punishment for everyone involved.
Top graphic images: The Post and Courier via YouTube screen capture
IMHO he should be sentence to 3 years of picking crops.
Both buildings “destroyed” and the police estimate the damage at $10,000. Let me know where I can get buildings built for $5,000 each. I’ll buy them and ship them out to the west coast and make a fortune. Either the police haven’t a clue or these were some sort of pop-up tent ‘buildings.’
3mph? Good thing whoever parked the excavator left it in turtle mode and the perp wasn’t aware enough to switch it to rabbit mode.
I remember some women’s college running team that had “Track Hoes” T-shirts back in the 70s.
My schools teams were the Victorious Veggies with suggestive vegetables on the shirts, and the Pagans that had a marching band that was in the spirit of the Stanford band but much smaller and vastly more obscene.
I think their downfall was when a retired professional soccer player from South America enrolled, and decided to join the division-iii team just for fun and the ensuing spectacle caused people to notice what had been previously a borderline performance art exercise.
Anyway “Track Hoes” certainly rings a bell, anyone remember what school they were from?
This a story you can really dig into.
Now THIS is something you might want to choose to attempt the Spanish Steps.
Having never been to the Spanish Steps, and also being too lazy to Google their dimensions, I wonder if they would be wide enough for a “track hoe excavator”.
I’ve seen plenty of hoes in the area, but I’m not sure how many Italian hoes equal one American backhoe. The exchange rate has been moving around a lot. Edit: I just realized that term might be offensive. Let’s go with “dirt excavator”
“Back hoe” sounds like an oddly specific job description. I’ll show myself out.
How long did it take him to drive that thing back to Florida?
Looks like we got a weekend editor here now, welcome Beverly!
There was a huge opportunity missed here, when neither the perp in the excavator nor the cops did a PIT maneuver.
I just came in here for the PIT pun and am now thrilled it was covered in the very first post.
Life’s a bowl of cherries.
Don’t get me started on “pitted cherries” because it’s like olives, or like someone saying “turn the A/C down” or “clutch out.” All have multiple meanings.
To me, pitted should mean the pit is removed. Otherwise they’re just cherries. A/C down means colder because it’s an easy, literal instruction. Clutch out is pedal to the floor, or clutch disengaged (out).
There are tons of people for whom these are all bass-ackwards and we need to fix this language 🙂
First thing that came to mind. That would be some entertaining dashcam footage.