Good morning! I felt like we were drifting too far afield of our typical price range, so I’ve dialed it back a bit for today. Don’t worry; I’ve still found some bizarrely-modified vehicles to fit with our theme for the week. We’ve got a luxury sedan that is soaring to new heights, and a small truck that is trying to win a limbo contest.
It seems like yesterday’s Baja bugs kind of landed with a thud. I can always tell when you all aren’t terribly excited about a Showdown by the low comment vote totals. Ah well, can’t win ’em all. Thanks for being good sports about it anyway.
I wouldn’t touch these either, for what it’s worth. I love Baja bugs, but I prefer the traditional VW-based kind. And I do plan to build one soon, actually – but it will be 1/10 scale.
Altering the ride height of a car is a pretty common modification. Lots of people will raise a truck a couple of inches to fit bigger off-road tires, or lower a car just a little to make it look a little meaner. But that’s not enough for some folks; they need to take it to the extremes, setting a car body atop a truck chassis to lift it sky-high, or lowering a car to the point that it scrapes its oil pan on every pebble. Today, we’re going to look at one of each.
1991 Buick Park Avenue – $2,000
Engine/drivetrain: 350 cubic inch OHV V8, three-speed automatic, 4WD
Location: Tecumseh, MI
Odometer reading: unknown
Operational status: “Was running and driving when parked a few years ago”
I would imagine that all projects like this start in about the same way: On one side of the yard is a 4×4 truck with a rusted-out body, and on the other side of the yard is a derelict car. Nearby in a lawn chair sits an above-average shadetree mechanic, a couple of beers deep into a Saturday afternoon. He casts his eye from one vehicle to the other, and suddenly springs up from his chair and runs to the garage to find a tape measure.
What we have here is a Buick Park Avenue sedan body atop a Chevy truck chassis. It’s powered by a 350 V8 and a TH400 automatic transmission, driving “a Dodge and a Ford axle, don’t remember what they are,” according to the seller. It all seems to work together, or did at one point – it hasn’t run in a few years. The seller says it was a lot of fun, but they don’t have time for it anymore.
The inside, as you might expect, is trashed: there’s mud everywhere, and wires dangle from the dash. I mean, we’ve seen a worse Park Avenue interior, but this one is pretty bad. How much of the old Buick stuff is still functional after this transformation is anyone’s guess, but I have a feeling not much of it.
Apparently it’s called the “Beast,” which seems like a fitting name. It’s surprisingly rust-free, and apart from some clearcoat damage, the body isn’t in bad shape. I’m not sure about the legality of the cop light bar on the roof, but I have a feeling that’s the least of offenses that might get you pulled over in this thing.
1993 Ford Ranger – $2,500
Engine/drivetrain: Probably a 2.3 liter OHC inline 4, five-speed manual, RWD
Location: Middleville, MI
Odometer reading: 43,000 miles
Operational status: Your guess is as good as mine
I confess I’ve never really understood the appeal of slammed vehicles like this, especially trucks. It takes too much utility out of it, and I don’t really like the look all that much. But like anything, I can appreciate the commitment and the hard work that went into it. I just wish I could tell you more about this truck; there is literally no description whatsoever in the ad. Not one word.
If I had to guess, I’d say this was a pretty basic Ranger, with the 2.3 liter “Lima” four-cylinder engine. It has a five-speed manual transmission, though it’s listed as an automatic. I get the feeling it runs and drives, based on the fact that the photos in the ad show it in various locations. But I could be wrong.
The seller claims it has 43,000 miles on it; I’d believe 143,000. The interior isn’t bad, but it isn’t great either. That stack of pine tree air fresheners hanging off the headlight switch are a bad sign – at best it smells like crappy pine tree air fresheners, but they could be covering up something much worse. I don’t think the bucket seats are original; they’re from a Mustang, maybe?
The lowering is serious; the bed floor has been raised for clearance, essentially ruining any truck usefulness it once had. I believe those things in the bed are hydraulic cylinders, which would mean it can be raised up for driving. In the front, it has massive negative camber, which is to be expected from Ford’s Twin I-Beam suspension operating at that severe of an angle. The body has had some other customization done, but it’s banged up. I imagine this was a much nicer truck at some point, but its best days are behind it.
I know, I know: They’re both awful, and you don’t want either one of them. Well, tough. That’s not how this game is played. You must choose. Will it be the backyard 4×4, or the slammed minitruck?
The least ruined one, thank you very much. So Ranger
Nope.
No way.
WTF?