Good morning! Today we’re looking at two very silly ideas, but they’re the sort of ideas I can see some people I know getting into their heads. At least they’re fairly cheap, and supposedly they both run, so there’s that.
We finished out our all-manual-gearbox week on Friday with a couple of European coupes. I had some hope for the BMW 320i, but it ended up playing second fiddle once again, this time to a Capri. The BMW just wasn’t as special; you can find another one for about the same price if you stay diligent. But a Capri in that condition is a rarity these days, even in car-crazy California.
And of course, I threw in the bonus choice for that incredibly clean Chevy Corsica from earlier in the week – and almost ten percent of you voted for it. If I’m being honest, that would be my choice as well. The Capri is too similar to my MG, and I’d rather have a 5 Series if I got an old BMW. But a stickshift Corsica sounds like a unique toy.
I think most car people have done it at one point: the impulse purchase. The car that you just had to have, even though it made no sense. You’ve got no place to put it, no money or time to devote to it, yet the idea of someone else going home with your prize is unbearable. Mine was a gigantic Buick convertible that I bought when I lived in Minneapolis and had no off-street parking, and already had another car. I didn’t keep it long.
Worse than finding something you can’t live without, though, is seeing your friend beaming with pride over some crusty nightmare-mobile that has somehow gotten into their driveway, and they ask you that dreaded question: “Whaddaya think?” You smile and nod, but you just know you’re going to get roped into working on this pile. That’s how I want you to approach this matchup: not which one would you rather have, but which one would you be more willing to help your friend fix up?
1965 Dodge Blue Bird School Bus – $2,000
Engine/drivetrain: 318 cubic inch overhead valve V8, four-speed manual (I assume), RWD
Location: “At the end of a dirt road near the town of Cobb, CA”
Odometer reading: 160,000 miles
Operational status: “Runs”
I saw a funny post online the other day that said, “Any machine is a smoke machine if you use it wrong enough.” I’ve seen other, cruder versions of the same joke before, as well, that I can’t repeat here. After having seen some of the vehicles on the West Coast, I’d like to add my own version: Any vehicle is an RV with enough throw rugs. Witness this old retired Blue Bird school bus, which has apparently served as living quarters for someone already.
Under the hood, where it still proudly wears its official school bus yellow paint, resides a 318 cubic inch V8, Chrysler’s polyspheric-head workhorse of the 1960s, backed by a manual transmission. The ad doesn’t specify, but I assume it’s a four-speed, probably with a “granny gear” for steep hills. The only information we get about its mechanical condition is a single word: “Runs.” That’s something, I suppose, but as anyone who has ever tried to revive a dead vehicle knows, there’s a huge difference between running and roadworthy.
Inside, all the seats have been removed, and – yep – the floor is covered in throw rugs. There’s a bed at the back, and what looks like a small wood-burning stove in the middle. Up front, there does not appear to be a seat currently facing the steering wheel, which increases my suspicion that this bus hasn’t moved in a long time. The seller says it has never been registered in California, and you’ll owe the DMV $1,000 in back fees dating back to its last registration in Nevada – unless you tow it to another state that doesn’t charge back fees.
Outside, it doesn’t look much like a school bus anymore; it has traded its stop sign for an awning, and a spare tire carrier blocks the rear emergency exit. It doesn’t look rusty, at least. I guess if you were determined to put it back on the road and use it as an RV, or a band tour bus or something, you could. But you’ve got your work cut out for you.
2022 (?) Volkswagen-Based Sandrail – $3,000
Engine/drivetrain: 1.6-liter (probably) overhead valve flat 4, four-speed manual, RWD
Location: Tucson, AZ
Odometer reading: unknown
Operational status: Runs and drives well
The idea of an old bus as an RV doesn’t really pose a threat to me, but a dune buggy? Now you’re talking. I’m not generally a huge air-cooled VW guy, but I’ve loved Baja bugs, dune buggies, and sandrails since I was a kid. How does a kid from Illinois end up falling in love with vehicles that are basically useless on the prairie? I blame Tamiya. You can’t do much with a real sandrail in the Chicago suburbs, but a 1/10 scale version turns any vacant lot or baseball diamond into a miniature Baja 1000. This sand rail is in a part of the country with plenty of places to play off-road, and even better, it’s street-legal, so you can drive it out to the desert to have fun.
There are a thousand ways to build something like this, and no two are alike, but they’re all mixed up from the same basic ingredients: Volkswagen Beetle front and rear suspension hung off a steel tube frame, usually powered by a VW flat-four. The seller doesn’t give many details about what was used; all they tell us is that it’s a “bus engine” and trailing-arm rear suspension rather than the earlier swing-axle setup. They say it “runs strong,” and a couple of photos in the ad show it pulling out of a driveway and motoring off down the street.
A lot of vehicles like this are strictly two-seaters, but the builder of this one saw fit to include a rear bench seat. I don’t see any seat belts for the rear, however, which seems like an oversight. I fear for the safety of that girl holding onto the roll cage in that photo above. The spare gas can looks well strapped down, though. Strange priorities, but whatever.
Up front, it has racing seats with padded four-point harnesses, which look much safer. Personally, I’d put some floorboards in it, though; you’re going to get pelted with rocks and sand through that steel mesh. Some sheet aluminum bolted to the mesh should take care of it. I also want to point out something else in that photo: see those two handles between the seats? Those are “turning brakes.” Each one of those handles acts directly on one rear brake or the other, slowing or stopping one rear wheel to help slide the rear end around on the sand. Cool, huh?
We all know these are both really dumb ideas. But I know, as I’m sure some of you do as well, someone who would buy either one without taking time to think it through. So, just imagine you show up at a friend’s house after getting a call asking for help on their new project. Which one of these two are you hoping it is?
Anyone who learned todrive with a farm tractor knows the those brakes are the poor man’s version of a locking differential and allow you to make a turn pivoting around the inside rear tire, so the turning radius is about about the same as the rear track. In practice you can make a u turn on a path the that is wide as the diagonal from the front to back plus the rear track. If you back up once it’s just the diagonal.
Depending on the weight distribution, from a standstill you can simply hop the front wheels off the ground, pivot around one rear tire and land pointed where you want to go. The opportunities for catastrophic outcomes are there so it’s on both the not recommend but fun, and the be careful not to do it by accident list.
The sand rail would be fun just for that reason.
With either one, I’m off to the Michigan mud bog races.
One as the racer, the other as the tow/support vehicle.
Por que no los dos?
The bus is creepy as fuck. If a friend really manages to retrieve it from some sort of neo-cult hipster-turned-psycho that lives alone in the wild with a bicycle, that’s a friend I would not like to be around with heavy tools in his hands.
Man the sandrail is really the only VW I would seriously consider owning. These things are a blast. I go sandrail even if the competition wasn’t a $3,000 start up fixing someone elses mess and live in their filth. Not too mention the tow cost of moving the bus to your location is probably another couple thousand. In fact this school project makes buying a boat look like a prudent financial decision. Even if the boat is sunk in 6 feet of salt water.
Absolute no-brainer here. I’d take that sandrail and go have a blast at Pismo next weekend.
As for the bus…hell, the, fuck, no. It might turn over but that’s probably it. The amount of back fees alone is enough to send it to a crusher. Never mind the fact that someone’s been living in it and it’s a likely biohazard situation. There are far better buses to be had for things like RV conversions.
If I was going to build a camperbus I think I’d start with something newer. It’s a cool machine, but they’re enough work without having to source old parts.
I’ve always wondered about the sand rails. Are these things actually fun to drive “off sand”? Like on the road? Or maybe dirt roads? I’m in TN, there aren’t many dunes here. but how would this thing carve tail of the dragon?
Sand rails are fun on fire trails and as hill climbers. With the right tires, any curvy roads are fun, too.
I had a friend try to wrap one in an oiled canvas body, with the intent that you could take it off the car at the destination and reconfigure it into a tent at the campsite. Sadly it remains an interesting idea, never completed.
Nope.
Weird choice on the front design on the sand rail – mesh floor and open foot wells. I assume that’s why that kid looks so grumpy.
Sand-in-your-crotch Rail
When you’re living in a bus, “DOWN BY THE RIVER!” I’ll take the bus- it’s more useful, plus V8/manual. The sandrail looks like a lot of fun though. I still like the bus better- it would be cool to live/camp in
The stop sign on school buses are typically on the left side of the bus. And, at least, the ones I rode in back in the 60s were not so equipped. Anyway, the sandrail gets my vote.
I assume the driver seat in the bus rotates, it looks like maybe a seat out of newer bus or van.
But give me the Sandrail, looks fun for a quick run to a rural store on a summer day.
The buggy, that bus chassis could make for an ADU on someone’s property, but not mine. The sand rail is just a side by side but like 1/10th of the cost, I don’t have much use for it either but it would at least be fun.
Easy: the sandrail won’t have bedbugs, or anything else infectious – even if I’m just helping a friend fix it up.
Easily the sandrail. I owned one for awhile. Old bus tranny, so super-low gearing—then too-tall tires to make up for that. Would still do wheelies if you weren’t careful. No front brakes or windshield, etc: just super-sketchy. I started getting it right, then someone offered me stupid money, so off it went
-this is a much better frame to build the snow-buggy I envisioned back then on. Put ‘body panels’ of coroplast sandwiching blue board all over it and go hoon
Blueboard?
I have a feeling you mean something other than the Home Depot bathroom building material instead of Sheetrock stuff, and I am always interested in weird off label uses for materials.
So assuming you aren’t talking about cement board ( although I know someone who built a boat out of it) what blueboard are you referring to?
I had done some stuff with coroplast and then the foam blue board insulation for the theater: my thought was to sandwich 1” blue board with coroplast on each side to make panel-inserts between cage members
Ah, that makes sense. Sort of like gatorboard only more so.
i can smell the inside of that bus from here. Why do i get the sense that it was used to tour with the Grateful Dead in 1979 or so?
So, Patchouli & ass?
Yeah, I’m with you
i was thinking more along the lines of cheap wine, stale weed and B.O., but your’s works too.
My first vehicle was a 72 Westfalia with tie dye curtains: both descriptions are accurate in my experience
I can’t believe I voted for a 60 year old Dodge. Better take a cognitive test.
Honestly, just due to “can I possibly use this or not” I went with the bus. I have no use at all for a sand rail. I don’t even like warm weather, let alone the kind that would create enough sand to be enjoyable.
Would I get an honorary gold membership to a conservation society if I bought and towed that bus out of the forest and disposed of it properly?
Tow it to Alaska. Rent it out to adventurer YouTubers.
The sandrail, but part of me wants BOTH and convert the bus to haul the ‘rail around in.
Sandrail is just a side by side motorcycle and that is not a bad thing. the Bluebird is actually a 3K proposition due to titling issues, and nothing about it is all that endearing.
Rail for me please.
No title needed in my summer haunt. Write a bill of sale on the back of a napkin and you are good to go. Register it as an antique and no inspections either.
But I’d rather have the sandrail. Maybe the bus to haul it around with, doesn’t look like much fun to drive very far in.
I did just come across a 3 Duece 318 poly intake over the weekend, though I imagine that is way worse trouble than itis worth. I think I would be able it register up here as long as Nevada does not come for their 1K in past taxes. But I would be hard pressed to want that thing in the end. so many newer and often Diesel power buses can be had that seem to be less unique, but certainly better for your health in the long run.
Certainly – but what’s the fun in that? The Autopian way is the hard way, no? That bus needs an 8v71 in it…
I mean we actually recently sold an international with a 7.3 in it that was already partially converted to an RV. $2500. it ran fine, even with 4 year old Diesel. It was actually given to my motorcycle club as a parting gift from a former member. Nobody knew what to do with it in the end so Club Fundraiser it was, and it sat forever waiting for a buyer.
You definitely need a certain person to want a bus.
It always amazes me how old-skool diesels can sit *forever* and fire right up. Decades even.
The bit about “At the end of a dirt road near the town of Cobb, CA” makes IRegretNothing’s comment that much better. Sand rail, for so, so many reasons.
Bus. I’d kill or maim myself within a day of owning that sand rail.
Plus it’s be fun to get that thing roadworthy and show up unannounced like Uncle Eddie from Vacation.
Sh*tter’s full!!
I’m sorry, that bus looks too much like I’m going to stumble upon the corpse of Christopher McCandless in it. No thanks.
I’m thinking Dr.Teeth and Electric Mayhem myself….
Same thing I thought about when I saw the interior. Something terrible is going to happen inside that bus, and I don’t want it to happen to me.