I live in New York City, which means I don’t have a parking garage or a driveway of my own. My car lives on the street 100 percent of the time, exposed to the elements. Often, that means I’ll arrive at my car and it is not how I left it.
I don’t very much mind when my car is covered in pollen, dust, rainwater, or leaves. That stuff comes off easily and generally doesn’t leave any lasting damage. But when I discover drips of tree sap or bird poop on my car, that’s when I get sad. Left alone, those things can eventually do damage to my car’s paint job. Even though my cars aren’t worth very much, that type of stuff still matters to me.
In case you need a reminder of why bird poop is bad for your car’s paint and how it can do damage, Chemical Guys, a maker of car care supplies, has a neat explainer:
Bird poop is packed with uric acid, which is super corrosive. When it lands on your car, it eats away at the clear coat, the protective layer that keeps your paint looking glossy and new. If you don’t clean it off quickly, that acid can etch into the paint, leaving behind permanent damage that no buffing or polishing can fix.
It’s not just about the immediate impact. Over time, those little spots can turn into big headaches. The longer you leave bird droppings on your car, the deeper they can penetrate. If the droppings get into nicks or scratches, you might see discoloration, dull spots, or rust.
Thankfully, neither of my cars is among the top 10 brands that get pooped on the most by birds, according to a survey of 1,000 car owners published this month by Alan’s Factory Outlet, a garage and carport company. In another blow to poor Stellantis, the survey says its brands lead the way for vehicles that are most pooped-on. Specifically, it’s Ram trucks that take the number one spot, followed by Jeep in second place, with Chevrolet rounding out the top three. Follow the link for the full list, complete with infographic. Is this a scientific study? No, but I feel like it tracks.
What About Car Color?
When it comes to colors, birds tend to poop on brown, red, and black cars more than any other shade, according to the survey, while less exciting colors like white, silver, and grey were struck with falling excrement less often. Seeing red in the number two spot correlates with a 2012 study out of the United Kingdom that claimed red cars are the most-pooped on, though it’s worth noting Motor Trend’s semi-debunking of that study, published in 2021:
Humans have trichromatic vision; we have three types of cones that can perceive red, blue, and green. Dogs only have dichromatic vision. Their two types of cones perceive blue and yellow, but they have more rods in their eyes allowing them to see much better in low-light conditions.
Birds went above and beyond in the evolution department with tetrachromatic vision. That’s five distinct cone structures that can see all the same colors humans do, with the addition of ultraviolet light. The fifth is a double cone that scientists don’t fully understand yet.
So, yes, the local birds can see your red car and in brighter and more vivid detail than you can. But does that make them want to poop on it? Ornithologists (scientists who specialize in studying birds) aren’t too sure. As they learn more about how birds perceive and interpret light, it’s ultraviolet light that seems to be the most attractive to birds. Maybe the question should be: Which car paint color reflects the most ultraviolet light?
Whether birds actually target cars by color remains up for discussion, though reflective surfaces can be just as big a factor, as Alan’s Factory Outlet points out:
Shiny surfaces such as hoods and side mirrors can act like mirrors, reflecting a bird’s own image back at them. During mating season, many species become territorial and may mistake their reflection for a rival. In some cases, this can lead to repeated “attacks” against the reflection, leaving behind droppings in the process.
Of course, the biggest factor is simply where you park your vehicle. As Alan’s Factory Outlet says, parking under trees, power lines, and street signs makes your vehicle a prime target for bird poop, no matter the brand or color.
How To Clean Bird Poop Off Your Car
Anyone who’s parked a car outside has experienced coming back to bird stuff on the paint. As I mentioned before, letting bird poop sit for an extended period of time will cause damage, so it’s best to address it sooner rather than later.
How you clean off the bird poop will depend on how long it’s been there. For fresh droppings, Chemical Guys recommends simply hosing it off with water. If you don’t have a hose, a soft cloth and water should do the trick. If it still doesn’t come off, introduce a mild soap product to the mix. If you don’t have access to water, a dry microfiber towel can work in a pinch.
Things get a bit tougher if the bird poop has been there a while. While the urge to simply start scrubbing is strong, Chemical Guys warns that doing so would scratch up the paint. Instead, the company recommends wetting the poop with water before going at it with a microfiber cloth. For particularly stubborn avian output, the company suggests using a soap and water mixture to break down the material.
Top graphic images: Ram; DepositPhotos.com
lol the “For me to poop on” meme so old is pre-dates knowyourmeme
The apartment complex where we used to live had lots of trees that produced dark purple berries in the spring. Birds heckin’ loved these berries, so much so that their leavings became dark purple. The berries must have increased the acidity of the bird poo, because even if cleaned up right away car paint would show signs of crazing/cracking. My mom’s Jeep (a flame red Wrangler) has significant damage on the hood from those damn birds.
Back when I was in college, I had a pigeon leave a deposit on my shoulder while I was walking across campus. I had just enough time before my next class to dash into a ladies’ room, where I stripped off my shirt and washed it in the sink. I was quite proud of myself for taking care of the situation so quickly, until I realized that the window of the ladies’ room was propped open, and that everyone in the shop across the courtyard likely had a direct view of me standing at the sink. Oops.
Friend lived in Regina where some geese would overwinter due to water being open They would get on her black Civic and poop which burnt away the clearcoat, 3 years old the car looked awful
Ha! I was doing some computer work at 30 Rock in NYC, some years ago, and went across the street to a park to have a smoke and a pigeon shat on my shoe. I was just glad it didn’t land in my hair.
Anecdotally light blue metallic cars seems to be birds favorite target, and silver metallic coming in second and white third.
The biggest problem that occurs happens right at this time of year.
You park anywhere near some shrub/bush/tree that produces small berries..those berries start to ferment due to the change in seasons. The birds eat them, get drunk (for real) and just love shitting berry colored poop on the nearest vehicles.
They seem to love silver near me, not sure why. Robins in particular love that toilet wine, and get kinda bold when intoxicated.
I’m not an ornithologist, but I have read that birds often defecate as they are preparing to fly. To lighten the load, so to speak. Makes sense.
I find tree sap to be more annoying to remove. Bird poop rinses off pretty easily.
Vultures will vomit up recent meals while in flight if they feel too heavy for the conditions. If you think poop is bad…
Yeah. That could be a lot. Especially considering what they tend to eat. Yuck!
Yikesssssss
Reminds me of the time I left my apartment for an early workout (pre-dawn), one of those days where your like “man, look at me, up early, doing something healthy….I’m so good at being an adult”
I start walking down California street in San Francisco and all around me I start hearing large “plop” sounds, like water balloons or something… and then some hit me. It was some kind of fucking sea bird (pelican?)… but it was like being shat on by a fucking pterodactyl. I vomited in the street, ran back home, and my wife was like “what happened?”
Lesson learned. Working out and being healthy isn’t worth it.
It’s for the birds.
COTD
I really…REALLY wish that story didn’t happen. It was probably the worst start to a work day I’ve ever had in my life.
Ugh. yes, tree sap is way worse.
Yep. Love your username, btw. Clever.
and same to you my friend!
I am pretty confident that the cars that get pooped on the most are the ones you just finished washing, regardless of color. It finally got cool enough down here to wash my convertible two weekends ago, and it took all of an hour for some dyspeptic bird to crap all over it. Sigh.
I can’t WAIT until I have a real garage again. Current tiny garage was full of new trailer kit project, so both cars are outside. Mercedes I don’t care as much about, I have a car wash subscription for that one, but the BMW has to get washed by hand.
Just to be clear here.
We are talking about animal poop only right?
Because I know a guy.
Seriously I park in the garage but tend to leave the garage door open during the day.
And they still fly in the garage. Just to take a dump on the roof of my ride.
Happens to me, too! Apparently, one stayed in the garage after I closed the door not to long ago. I came out a few days later to use my car and it was covered in bird poo. At least we don’t have to worry about tree sap pulling a trick like that.
FWIW, my mailbox was looking aged. I painted it semi gloss black. The flipping birds love it!