I live in New York City, which means I don’t have a parking garage or a driveway of my own. My car lives on the street 100 percent of the time, exposed to the elements. Often, that means I’ll arrive at my car and it is not how I left it.
I don’t very much mind when my car is covered in pollen, dust, rainwater, or leaves. That stuff comes off easily and generally doesn’t leave any lasting damage. But when I discover drips of tree sap or bird poop on my car, that’s when I get sad. Left alone, those things can eventually do damage to my car’s paint job. Even though my cars aren’t worth very much, that type of stuff still matters to me.
In case you need a reminder of why bird poop is bad for your car’s paint and how it can do damage, Chemical Guys, a maker of car care supplies, has a neat explainer:
Bird poop is packed with uric acid, which is super corrosive. When it lands on your car, it eats away at the clear coat, the protective layer that keeps your paint looking glossy and new. If you don’t clean it off quickly, that acid can etch into the paint, leaving behind permanent damage that no buffing or polishing can fix.
It’s not just about the immediate impact. Over time, those little spots can turn into big headaches. The longer you leave bird droppings on your car, the deeper they can penetrate. If the droppings get into nicks or scratches, you might see discoloration, dull spots, or rust.
Thankfully, neither of my cars is among the top 10 brands that get pooped on the most by birds, according to a survey of 1,000 car owners published this month by Alan’s Factory Outlet, a garage and carport company. In another blow to poor Stellantis, the survey says its brands lead the way for vehicles that are most pooped-on. Specifically, it’s Ram trucks that take the number one spot, followed by Jeep in second place, with Chevrolet rounding out the top three. Follow the link for the full list, complete with infographic. Is this a scientific study? No, but I feel like it tracks.
What About Car Color?
When it comes to colors, birds tend to poop on brown, red, and black cars more than any other shade, according to the survey, while less exciting colors like white, silver, and grey were struck with falling excrement less often. Seeing red in the number two spot correlates with a 2012 study out of the United Kingdom that claimed red cars are the most-pooped on, though it’s worth noting Motor Trend’s semi-debunking of that study, published in 2021:
Humans have trichromatic vision; we have three types of cones that can perceive red, blue, and green. Dogs only have dichromatic vision. Their two types of cones perceive blue and yellow, but they have more rods in their eyes allowing them to see much better in low-light conditions.
Birds went above and beyond in the evolution department with tetrachromatic vision. That’s five distinct cone structures that can see all the same colors humans do, with the addition of ultraviolet light. The fifth is a double cone that scientists don’t fully understand yet.
So, yes, the local birds can see your red car and in brighter and more vivid detail than you can. But does that make them want to poop on it? Ornithologists (scientists who specialize in studying birds) aren’t too sure. As they learn more about how birds perceive and interpret light, it’s ultraviolet light that seems to be the most attractive to birds. Maybe the question should be: Which car paint color reflects the most ultraviolet light?
Whether birds actually target cars by color remains up for discussion, though reflective surfaces can be just as big a factor, as Alan’s Factory Outlet points out:
Shiny surfaces such as hoods and side mirrors can act like mirrors, reflecting a bird’s own image back at them. During mating season, many species become territorial and may mistake their reflection for a rival. In some cases, this can lead to repeated “attacks” against the reflection, leaving behind droppings in the process.
Of course, the biggest factor is simply where you park your vehicle. As Alan’s Factory Outlet says, parking under trees, power lines, and street signs makes your vehicle a prime target for bird poop, no matter the brand or color.
How To Clean Bird Poop Off Your Car
Anyone who’s parked a car outside has experienced coming back to bird stuff on the paint. As I mentioned before, letting bird poop sit for an extended period of time will cause damage, so it’s best to address it sooner rather than later.
How you clean off the bird poop will depend on how long it’s been there. For fresh droppings, Chemical Guys recommends simply hosing it off with water. If you don’t have a hose, a soft cloth and water should do the trick. If it still doesn’t come off, introduce a mild soap product to the mix. If you don’t have access to water, a dry microfiber towel can work in a pinch.
Things get a bit tougher if the bird poop has been there a while. While the urge to simply start scrubbing is strong, Chemical Guys warns that doing so would scratch up the paint. Instead, the company recommends wetting the poop with water before going at it with a microfiber cloth. For particularly stubborn avian output, the company suggests using a soap and water mixture to break down the material.
Top graphic images: Ram; DepositPhotos.com
Spending some time studying birds, especially really smart ones like crows, I’m pretty sure they target people they don’t like (they recognize our faces and have long memories). Not that every shit on your car is intentional, but that does align with Stellantis vehicles having a higher hit rate. As for me, when I had a car with a flat black center hood and trunk, they almost never hit the roof.
When I lived in LA, my red convertible was very much a target for the local hummingbirds.
Fortunately their shits are small too.
If any car-pooping birds want to try and come at my town, we will do what we did before and hit them with Fabio’s face.
“Shiny surfaces such as hoods and side mirrors can act like mirrors, reflecting a bird’s own image back at them. During mating season, many species become territorial and may mistake their reflection for a rival. In some cases, this can lead to repeated “attacks” against the reflection, leaving behind droppings in the process”
Seems like a giant lump of brutalist dystopian stainless steel cosplay would be the ideal target then.
Nothing to do with birds (or poop, for that matter): my 2002 Golf TDI was a lovely shade of blue that was a cross between cobalt blue and navy blue that sometimes looked purple in certain lighting conditions; dragonflies would often hover above the rooftop whenever I parked the Golf in the driveway and I assumed it was because the color bore a resemblance to the nearby ponds and lake. That assumption was supported by the fact that there was a very substantial uptick in dragonflies hovering above the Golf over the years after a major hailstorm which left the Golf dimpled like a golf (heh) ball; the dimpled blue rooftop looked very much like rippling water, a mighty lovely effect (which mitigated the annoyance about the hail damage and the impecunity with which to get it fixed so there was that, lol.) The other cars in my fleet never had any dragonflies hovering above them; they were various colors (yeah, no grayscale here!!) & simply never seemed to attract the dragonflies. Since the demise of my blue Golf after it was rear-ended I’ve found myself rather missing the dragonflies…
You do know that it’s a specific type of this bird that rats out its buds for pooping on your car… the stool pigeon!
Boo!!!
And yet…
My dad had a theory that blue cars get pooped on the most, and his reasoning was that the blue makes it look like they’re pooping in water. This article says my dad was full of…
Brb, I gotta go bring my red Jeep into the garage
One shade of grey is such a popular target that New Yorkers have nicknamed it grey poop-on.
An animal/automobile interaction I would like to see a study on is which vehicles hit more deer than others. Bird poop may damage your vehicles finish, a deer may total your vehicle.
As an owner of two bright red cars, I can confirm that it sure as hell does seem like they get pooped on more often than any other (all non-red) cars I’ve owned before.
Just as many humans justifiably do, birds are shitting on Ram trucks too
My personal data confirms that black paint gets pooped on the most. My black IS350 used to get pooped on nearly every day, while my coworkers VERY rarely suffered the same fate.
Good to know that the birds aren’t indiscriminately pooping on your co-workers.
It helps that birds aren’t real.
And giraffes.
And I hear that dogs can’t look up.
But what colour of vehicle gets pooped IN most often? This may be of use to DT if he ever encounters another colonic revolt.
I’m betting it’s the ones with brown interiors.
White, because of all the fleet vehicles.
Shouldn’t Fleet be capitalized?
Birds are jerks.
They perch on the edge of the front doors of my cars, so self-absorbed as they gaze at themselves in the side mirrors, pecking away at their own images in what I assume is an attempt to kiss themselves, all the while shitting down the sides of the car, too hypnotized, too addicted, to even bother to go someplace proper to relieve themselves…
This spring, an insanely territorial robin took up residence in a juniper tree in my front yard. During mating season, it would spend virtually the entire day posted up on the side mirror of my truck, attacking its own reflection and shitting all over the (dark gray) door. One weekend I was doing a project in my garage, and had to move my wife’s (black) car and my (dark green) Del Sol out into the driveway as well…shit and peck marks all over both of them. Whenever my daughter came by the house, same thing would happen to her (white) car.
This bird cared not one whit for the color upon which he chose to shit.
Now that you mention it, our red cars do seem to get more attention from the birds than others. My son’s Soul Red Miata is a frequent target.
My daily (pearl white paint, BTW) is parked under a big live oak in front of the house (the Miata lives in my one-car garage) so bird poop is a fact of life. I take two minutes in the morning before setting off to get any messes off the finish. I use Wolfgang Rinseless wash in a pump sprayer… works like a charm.
But what car brands colors get pooped on by people the most?
We do shit on Chrysler a lot around here…
I dunno, but there was a guy named Calvin that used to pee on them a lot. Mostly Fords and Chevys.
The best, least damaging way to remove bird droppings:
Spray detailer on the area.Place a paper towel on top of the dropping (DO NOT RUB)Allow the towel to absorb the spray detailer and the droppingGently lift the towel up (again, do not rub) and repeat. This should remove the grit and junk mixed in with the dropping.Once the ugly stones and grit are gone, spray again and use a microfiber to clean it up.
The acids and such are bad, but you can make things worse are the stones and grit mixed in with the dropping. Avoid rubbing the dropping as much as possible.
And keep that bottle of detailer spray, paper towels, and cloth in the trunk, for use anywhere, anytim.
Certainly works better than the ordered list function, which appears to have broken entirely on that comment.