Did Kitty Make The Right Call? 1974 MG Midget vs 1994 Chrysler LeBaron

In today’s thrilling Showdown, we’re re-examining a choice made by a fictional young woman in a twenty-year-old song. Why, you may ask? Because these are the two cars that caught my eye, after rejecting a dozen others, some of which may appear later in the week. What, you think choosing cars for this column is a piece of cake?

We finished up Friday with a comments-only challenge, and while I didn’t go through and count votes, there didn’t seem to be much of a consensus, except that most of you were unwilling to burn the Audi, which I was happy to see. In fact, a large number of you chose it as your daily driver. Very few of you wanted to put the Transit on the track, but I applaud those of you who want to try. It would certainly be entertaining to watch.

Now, keep in mind that I can’t actually condone burning any car; it’s a waste of a good machine and an environmental nightmare. But for the purposes of the game, I had no trouble choosing which one to dispose of: the Transit. Small vans like that are everywhere, and they will be cheap and plentiful on used car lots for a long time. I went back and forth on the other two, but I think I’ll keep the Audi for daily use, and keep it as nice as I can for as long as I can. The Mazda, I could abuse to my heart’s content without feeling guilty.

Now, back to the fictional young woman in the twenty-year-old song. I remember my friend Jon being absolutely outraged about the vehicular choices made in “Short Skirt, Long Jacket” when Cake’s album Comfort Eagle first came out. He had recently had a bad experience with an early LeBaron convertible, one equipped with that dreadful Mitsubishi 2.6-liter engine, and had sworn off Chrysler entirely as a result. I guess I can’t blame him. However, after nine trouble-prone years of MG ownership, I’m beginning to think the object of John McCrea’s affection may have made the right call – if she really wanted a car that will get her there.

1974 MG Midget MkIII – $5,900

Engine/drivetrain: 1.3-liter overhead valve inline 4, four-speed manual, RWD

Location: Allentown, PA

Odometer reading: 71,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

Mention reliability among British car enthusiasts, and almost immediately the claws come out. “They’re not that unreliable,” they insist. “Other old cars have problems too, you know.” That’s as may be, but I have owned my 1971 MGB GT since the summer of 2016, and have only managed to drive it 1,000 miles. The longest trouble-free journey it has completed is a sixty-mile round trip. It has only been towed home once, after the radiator blew on the day I bought it, but it has been limped home more than once. Keeping it alive has been a constant struggle. It is currently marooned in my garage awaiting replacement of its failed clutch hydraulics.

This Midget is from roughly the same era as my B, just before the one-two punch of bumper regulations and emissions standards sapped most of the fun out of little British cars. Even this Mark III Midget’s 1275 cc engine is down on power, with a lower compression ratio than earlier cars. But at least it still has the twin SU carburetors. The seller says it runs great, and has just had the oil changed. Change it again, though, just to be sure: use 20W-50 with ZDDP additive, and nothing else, unless you feel like replacing the camshaft. Ask me how I know.

Larger folks, of course, need not apply: the Midget is as small inside as it is on the outside. There’s plenty of legroom, surprisingly, but it’s very narrow, and if you’re taller than about five-ten, you’ll be eye-to-eye with the windshield header. I’m six feet, and I can drive a Midget, but not comfortably. This one looks clean and original inside, though please note that it lacks not only a cupholder armrest, but a glovebox as well.

Still, for all their faults, on a sunny day that’s not too hot, out in the country away from traffic, and with the right company, small British sports cars can be absolutely magical. You’re not going to fit more in the Midget’s boot than a weekend getaway’s worth of clothes, but that’s enough. Any longer than that away from the comfort and safety of its garage would terrify this little car.

1994 Chrysler LeBaron LX – $6,500

Engine/drivetrain: 3.0-liter overhead cam V6, three-speed automatic, FWD

Location: Massillon, OH

Odometer reading: 63,000 miles

Operational status: Runs and drives well

Chrysler reintroduced convertibles to the US market in 1982, with a drop-top version of the new LeBaron and Dodge 400 coupes. The new K platform was high-tech at the time (no, seriously), but due to Lee Iacocca’s preferences, the new cars hewed closely to the Brougham-and-chrome aesthetic of the previous decade. It wasn’t until 1985 that a new design, the LeBaron GTS and Dodge Lancer, ushered in a softer, more modern look for the K-based cars. In 1987, the LeBaron coupe and convertible were totally redesigned – and vastly improved, both in appearance and quality.

This isn’t quite the LeBaron I’d want if I were shopping for one. I’d prefer one slightly older, with the covered sealed-beam headlights and, more importantly, the turbocharged four-cylinder engine. By 1994, LeBarons were only available with a Mitsuhishi-built 3.0-liter V6, the same unit powering everything from Galants to minivans in the mid-90s. It’s not a bad engine, but in transverse orientation like this, it’s much more difficult to service. You could get a LeBaron convertible with a stick, but good luck finding one; like nearly all of them, this one has an automatic. If I’m seeing the shifter right, however, it’s the old reliable three-speed version – which, trust me, is the one you want.

Being twenty years newer than the MG definitely has its advantages on the inside. The LaBaron is roomy, comfortable, and equipped with all sorts of power equipment, as well as air conditioning for those days when it’s just too hot to put the top down. This one has the redesigned dashboard in it, which is a huge improvement over the older design. I know what you’re thinking: where’s the cupholder? If I remember correctly, it folds out from under the lid of the armrest.

It’s clean and shiny and rust-free outside, and it has a new top. It’s nowhere near as charming as the MG, granted, but this is the sort of car you could drive every day in traffic, and still enjoy dropping the top on the weekends for a nice drive in the country. It’s not sporty, but it’s not meant to be. This is a cruiser, and an excellent one at that.

It’s a little surprising, when you think about it, just how many of Cake’s songs have something to do with cars. “Stickshifs and Safetybelts,” “Race Car Ya-Yas,” “Carbon Monoxide,” “Satan Is My Motor,” and “The Distance” all talk about cars, though often more as metaphors than as transportation. Are the band members gearheads? Or do they just recognize the importance of the automobile as a part of contemporary society, and feel compelled to comment on it? If I ever meet any of them, I’ll ask. In the meantime, it’s up to you to decide whether possibly the most famous automotive trade-in deal in rock music was a good move.