First of all, I need everyone to stay calm. Freaking out and throwing chairs (you know who you are) is not helping. At all. Except that time we needed those chairs moved, fast, that time it actually was really helpful and thank you again for that. But when it comes to the subject at hand today – the Mercury Lynx – the only way we can do this is if everyone remains tranquil.
The Mercury Lynx (Mercury’s first FWD car!) was the badge-engineered version of the US-market Ford Escort, and what I mostly want to focus on this morning are the “tells” of upscaliciticicityness, those ineffable markers that telegraph to the world that you are a person who spent a little more on their car.
We’ve already addressed how the US-market Escort and the European-market Escorts differed, and used those subtle markers and styling differences as a way to discern what means “American” or “European” in the human mind:
… and now we’re going to do the same thing to see if we can distill down what meant “premium” or “luxurious” to the 1980s American mind by comparing the Ford and Mercury versions of this same car:
These tells represent some of the most basic signifiers of an “upmarket” car, because the Mercury Lynx was really barely changed from its Escort sibling. As a result, the changes we do see can be interpreted as being a sort of baseline for conveying the concept of a more premium or luxurious car.
They’re mostly aesthetic choices, and revolve around the concepts of increased ornamentation, usually in the form of chrome trim, and what I always think of as a sort of “finer” scale to the detailing. Smaller design elements, higher density of those elements, thinner lines, that sort of thing. The two grilles here are a good example of this, as are the taillights, with the Mercury version having a lot more linear detailing and no amber indicators.
Speaking of, amber as a color seems to have been deemed downmarket, and “premium” cars often have clear indicator lenses with amber bulbs inside as opposed to vivid amber lenses.
These are telling distinctions, I think, and I suspect there are many important cultural anthropology papers waiting to be written based on these concepts. You can cite me in the footnotes, if so.
The interior, of course, is where the magic really happens, as you can see in this gloriously scarlet vision above. Upholstery is deliriously velour, rich and deep, and look at that fake wood! It looks like some sort of bird’s-eye maple? Definitely a more ornate grain than the usual fake wood trim, which is sourced from fake oak trees or even fake pine.
And look how much fake wood there is! Every surface has been slathered with it! I also like how in this car, which seems to lack air-conditioning (!) has two flat red panels replacing the air vents. It’s amazing to think of a time when an upmarket anything wouldn’t have included air conditioning.
Of course, the other part of making a car feel premium is how it’s being marketed, and there’s no quicker way to classy than taking a ride on the Vangelis train:
Also, look at those lynxes!
If the man who scored Blade Runner isn’t enough class for you, what about a giant white sphere set into what looks a lot like what would become the Windows XP desktop more than a decade and a half later?
I also love how much attention is given to the digital clock. The sporty version of the Lynx, the LTX, wasn’t really the equal of a VW Rabbit GTI or anything like that, but it was likely a little more fun than the base Lynxen:
I haven’t seen a Lynx in decades, but I hope if, somehow, you encounter one, you’ll take a moment to really consider the many cultural questions they evoke.
I learned to drive on mom’s Escort version of this car…the Lynx has a much better interior but otherwise seems equally as terrible.
Me too. My first car, shared with a sibling.
A tan 1986 Ford Escort, black trim, tan interior, cloth seats, manual trans.
It was kind of indestructible.
I really missed out compared to the the Lynx’s velour and fake wood!
We had an 86 Escort wagon, red with I think red interior cloth, I’m struggling to remember. That was the first brand new car my mom ever bought, I think maybe the only one! We’re more used car types I guess LOL.
“Everyone Calm Down Already We’re Going To Talk About The Mercury Lynx”
We’re talking about the Mercury Lynx???
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
https://tenor.com/view/hyperventilating-bugging-spaz-freaking-out-panic-attack-gif-6258263695075169077
9.9% APR! Ouchies!
Rates peaked at 17% in 1981. This was a deal. Bank rates were around 13% in 1983, and mortgages were similar. My first home loan was in the 15% range.
The craziest thing is that Ronald Reagan managed to get re-elected after that.
I like how even in the commercial the backseat and cargo cover look misaligned.
Look, I’m never going to turn down a Lynx article, but when are we going to get a deep dive on the LN7? There may be dozens of us clamoring for this article.
The EXP got a little better in it’s 2nd generation. Besides ditching the weird 1st gen’s frog eye headlights, it took a few bits from the facelifted Escort, and also adopted the “bubble back” rear window that the since-cancelled LN7 had. Better interior too.
How did that dovetail with the vanilla others? I thought the EXP was flat from the beginning so it would look different than the LN7, then both canned so that the USA could keep churning out vanilla. I think of the plain Escort and Lynx as on par with the Dodge Rabbit-thingy.
St.Thomas was bulldozed and into batteries now.
Sorry, but peak EXP was the ’84 Turbo Coupe. And the frog eye headlights were distinctive and set the EXP/LN7 apart.
In any event, Torch needs to find an LN7 with the TR Performance Package and go really in depth for us. Mercury sold 40,000 LN7s over the entire production run, how hard could it possibly be to find a pristine example with the TR package??
Ah, yeah, the best example of upscaliciticicityness would be the Aston Martin Cygnet.
And the Datsun B210 Honeybee would be the opposite of upscaliciticicityness.
My wife had bought a cheap stick shift Mercury Lynx when she was teen and the Salesman had to teach her how to drive it home.
My wife had one. “Luxury?” It was also stick shift, with wind up windows, dark vinyl seats and NO AC. In Arkansas. We were dating at the time, and I tried to teach her how to drive it, as did her Dad, a very patient man. Did not work. A friend’s Mom eventually taught her. It died at 6 years old from a broken timing belt. The repair shop offered us $250 for it and we gladly took it.
When she (21 yo) moved up to a more lucrative manager position at Burger King, she upgraded to an 86 Mustang GT, factory ordered to have T-tops. Few years later, traded it in for a cheaper Suzuki Sidekick when she decided she was going back to college to ditch the fast food life.
In the autumn of 1982, I got my first “real” job and needed something more reliable than my ’74 Matador. I looked at both the Escort and Lynx. Did you know you could get leather seats with the Lynx? Well, at least the front ones. Even then, I thought it was ridiculous for an economy car.
https://www.oldcarbrochures.com/static/NA/Mercury/1982%20Mercury/1982_Mercury_Lynx_Brochure/1982%20Mercury%20Lynx-15.html
The Lynx was later replaced by the Tracer which shared its platform with the Escort again. It was possible to get a Tracer wagon with leather and a manual transmission. I looked at a used one- and it was green too.
“in shearling and leather”
No “Ride Engineered” badge on the passenger side of the dash though
I’m sure many debates were had on whether they’d put the badge there
Intrigue and controversy at L-M hq!
For a while (including the time when this car existed), it felt like the only thing that differentiated a Mercury from a Ford were clear corner indicators and no amber in the tail lights.
Topaz/Tempo
Cougar/Thunderbird
Sable/Taurus
Grand Marquis/Crown Victoria
They even went so far as to have several captive imports (Merkur, Villager minivan), where the only requirements were 5mph bumpers and CLEAR CORNER INDICATORS
Come to think of it the Villager* bucked the trend for Mercury, having amber rear signals while its Quest twin had red – which was also the opposite of most Nissans.
*The Australian-built Capri did first, but I think that was just not wanting to bother with another lens unit.
That’s exactly it. In fact they had a “light insert” to fill the hole for the smaller US license plate, I was blessed to have worked in the styling department at Ford Australia
I love those four-hole wheels on the European Escort. I’d like them now on one of my cars… the 245 maybe, assuming they could be made to fit.
My buddy had a diesel Lynx 5 door until he trashed it.
I think a diesel Lynx came trashed from the factory.
The Mazda-sourced engine could probably outlast the rest of the car easily.
It was the other way around…
It’s a chicken and egg thing.
Build that exact car with better suspension components, tires and a mild 1.5L hybrid and I’d buy one right now.
Woo-hoo! Another Mercury Monday! And only a day (and a few years?) late! I’m down for it.
My first car was an ’85 Lynx L that was a hand-me-down that used to be my grandma’s “summer house” car. When she moved back permanently she gifted me the car.
It was a black two-door, automatic, AM radio, but had A/C. It was six years old and had already had the engine rebuilt, the a/c had quit, the paint was rust bubbled in several spots on the doors, and it made the most ungodly racket upon acceleration. It had 60k miles on it.
The car was a total pile. We sold it and I got an ’85 Sentra with a stick which was light-years better.
Keep in mind, the car was SIX YEARS OLD!!!! My kid’s ’99 Prizm has less problems and it’s 26 years old with four times the mileage.
The Lynx was a POS.
AM radio?!? OMG
Yeah, but I was in high school so I pimped it out with a “system” from Radio Shack. Cassette deck, 6x9s in the rear and a home-built box with some 12″ Zenith subwoofers! Man, could I blast Summertime by DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince like a boss!
Then we sold the car.
My first car was an 86 Nissan Sentra 3 door hatch with a stick….very fond memories….
Interestingly, if you went for an Escort GT you got the Lynx taillights.
The Lynx LTS (its’ Ford Division counterpart was the first Escort LX) was essentially a 4-door (or wagon!) Escort GT with the EFI engine. 1984-early ’85 only, it was dropped at the midcycle refresh.
I read the headline too quickly and thought we were going to get Torch’s in depth analysis of the 2025 WNBA semi-final series between the Phoenix Mercury and Minnesota Lynx.
I want more “professional sports franchise or car brand?’ content.
Oh look a slow unreliable pile of crap with more plastic chrome and wood look stickers. Hard NO. These were garbage from the factory. I have a DEEP hatred of ford escorts from my teen age and early 20s years.
They were everywhere and they were such dogs! I like the guy shifting the LTS. Shifter has travel like a 70’s pickup.
My parents bought a 1987 Mercury Topaz LS, with three pedals, new in 1987. It replaced a 1984 Escort Diesel, also with three pedals. They cross shopped the Tempo as well as some dodge model with a turbo. The Topaz had the nicest cloth interior of any of the other cars by far. With the 5 speed transmission it had way more power than the same car with an auto.
The Escort was a great commuter car and I remember it getting close to 60 mph on a road trip but even when new, the steering wheel and the rest of the interior would shake.
Was it a freudian slip you said mph? did you mean mpg? Because an escort diesel is capable of getting to almost both.
Doh!! I don’t remember it being slow but I was just a kid when we bought it. It was mainly used on two lane back roads so speed really wasn’t an issue.
“upscaliciticicityness !” The depravity of the prime malaise era kept many in the pre-1974 used market, and directly contributed to a psychoanalyst boon time.
My friend’s family had a red Lynx wagon with a stick growing up, probably no AC. They ALWAYS bought poverty spec cars so I can only imagine it was sitting on the lot awhile and was somehow cheaper than the Escort. Prior to that they had a 4 door Grand Torino with vinyl/rubber flooring instead of carpeting. No power steering and not sure about power brakes, either. His poor Mom was all of 5’1″ and weighed 90 lbs. having to Armstrong that car into a parking space.
His Dad ended up being CEO of the local electric utility and they eventually moved to a bigger house but always kept it real with the budget cars.
“ALWAYS bought poverty spec cars”
Do you mean cars that had less crap to break???
My 1986 Escort Pony was one of the best cars I owned and only one of two new cars I bought. Many consumers wish they could buy a simple, economical, and easy to care for car now, but no one makes one anymore…
Was the notchback on the 1983 Cougar upmarket or downmarket? That may have been when I started questioning the whole class distinction thing.
That was considered a “formal” roofline, so it was more up-market. If I remember correctly, the rear side windows in the T-Bird and Cougar were identical, but installed upside down in the Cougar (T-Bird was straight on the bottom, radiuses on the top, while the Cougar was straight on top, radiused on the bottom.
I remember those, and the very obviously flipped rear windows. The “formal” roofline and the window treatment was just silly. You could get every luxury bit you wanted on the T-Bird, and it had the fully futuristic aero shape. My family had the ’83 ‘Bird, and it was a nice enough car. Being a Foxbody derivative, it was light enough that the late-Malaise Era 302 V8 with throttle-body fuel injection had some noticeable hustle compared to earlier cars.
American cars from this era had some wonderfully awful, yet comfortable interiors.
They were amazing. That is until the enshitification – or better described as the eurotrashification – of American cars made the domestics go with rock hard seats and needlessly stiff suspensions. We also used to have awesome cloth seats that didn’t burn your butt in the summer or freeze your ass in the winter, but NOPE, we had to chase the garbage coming out of Europe and make leather the material of choice for far too many cars.
By god I miss the red velour interior of my 84 Town Car.
Hate to say, but dad’s ’90 Town Car Signature was amazing. Soft, parchment leather with midnight blue exterior.
I had a ’91 Sable for a few years, white with a comfy red velour interior. I personally prefer quality cloth to leather. The cloth seats in the partner’s ’07 Corolla are very nice.
Not just red, but just about every color of the rainbow. Blue, maroon, brown, tan, even green interiors. Then the eurotrashification happened and everything was a disgusting black-on-black-on-black. Its taken decades for car makers to finally more away from that shit.
I had a Peugeot 2008 rental car last month. Meh, but it had nice seats with a patterned woven cloth in the centers, with pleather on the sides. To me that’s actually the best setup because the friction points are more hard-wearing, but the cloth in the middle still breathes and holds you in the seat without sliding around.
Or alternatively, properly supportive seats and suspensions not made of marshmallows. Seats like grandma’s sofa are NOT comfortable longer than an around the block test drive. Those hard seats are fine after a 12hr day – at least assuming they are shaped properly, which American seats never were back in the day.
I do miss NICE cloth seats (not the cheap recycled plastic bullshit of today) – but the Europeans still had nicer cloth than the Americans when they were still a thing. And cloth in Euro cars is STILL a thing, just generally not here where Americans seem to be convinced that leather or pleather is the only definition of “upmarket”.
This was the mag’s doing. Everything had to be a ‘performance’ car to get good reviews. It did raise the bar for the industry, but everything went too far. Now actual ride comfort and compliance can be hard to find.
One of the reasons I love my Volt – it has an honest to god comfortable sedan ride. No it doesn’t carve corners but I didn’t buy it for that. It’s a freaking Volt.
Huh, the “amber lenses are downmarket” approach applied to several Mercury models in the ’80s. The Escort, midsize LTD, Mustang, and Tempo all had amber rear turn signals when their contemporary Mercury twins did not.
I’m usually team amber blinker but I have to admit I swapped the amber turn signal rear lights on my Ford LTD for all red Mercury Marquis units instead.
Same on the front as well with these models. Clear lenses, amber bulb. Even carried on through the Gen1 Taurus/Sable era.
I always saw it as just a Euro/import styling tie in, Ford with the world and aero design push, but thinking about it more I was viewing it more through a GM lens (no pun intended).
You had Buick with an amber lens push in the 70s, but by the 80s seemed more red and GM was more like these Ford examples: 80s Cavaliers had amber lenses (wagon aside), other J-bodies had red; Celebrity started out with amber signals, went red at the facelift like most of the others.
Seemed like GM started to flip back to amber as ‘sporty’ later in the 80s – 6000STE had amber, Somerset T-Types had amber, Sunbird added amber (as Cavalier went red), Grand Ams added amber though SEs had the red grid.
Has their been a deep dive like this on the Bobcat vs. Pinto yet?
Congrats on coming up with even worse cars.
Just as soon as the flames die down.