Home » Ford Stole The “SS” Trim Level For One Car And It Was Super Slow: Glorious Garbage

Ford Stole The “SS” Trim Level For One Car And It Was Super Slow: Glorious Garbage

Ford Escort Ss Ts
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You’re familiar with the term “early adopter,” right? The people who jump on something new as soon as possible, be it a piece of hardware, a type of software, or what have you. While hopping on the bandwagon early sometimes grants knowledge and status, it can also backfire because early products are often terrible. The latter thing exactly what happened to Americans seeking a sporty Ford Escort, because the 1981 Ford Escort SS was a massive case of seemingly IP-infringing disappointment.

Historically, Chevrolet has been the keeper of the SS trim level, bestowing it on high-performance trims of American icons like the Camaro, Chevelle, and, um, Cobalt. However, for 1981, Ford swiped the SS trim level and fitted it to a sporty trim of its Escort economy car. Come to think of it, the 1981 Escort was an early attempt at a world car, although the end result couldn’t have been further from that.

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See, Ford of Europe and Ford in America had very different ideas on how to build a small car. As a result, the European third-generation Ford Escort and American first-generation Ford Escort didn’t share a single body panel between them. In fact, Europeans got three Escort-branded body styles never sold in America, and a four-door sedan called the Orion. Sure, the Escort sold in America shared the CVH engine architecture with the European Escort, but it was also the economy car equivalent of fat Elvis, and while Europe got the XR3 for 1981, America made do with the Escort SS. So, what made an Ford Escort SS an SS?

Ford Escort Ss Brochure

Well, from the outside, the SS treatment certainly made the Escort look tougher than a standard model. The requisite stripes and black trim are here, including a black grille that drastically changes appearance from the regular Escort’s chrome piece. Ford was also proud of the SS trim’s sport mirrors, since both could be controlled by little adjusters in the cabin. Hey, when a car was base in the early ’80s, it was really basic. On the inside, the Ford Escort SS gained high-back seats, extra dials, special upholstery, and a soft-touch steering wheel. The appearance was set, so what about the go-fast bits?

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Under the hood, well, there weren’t any. While this commercial talks a big game, the Ford Escort SS featured the same 65-horsepower 1.6-liter CVH engine as any other 1981 Escort. Zero-to-60 mph? Eventually, sure, but the turn of the 1980s wasn’t brilliant for automotive performance. It was the era of the double nickel and federally-mandated 85 mph speedometers, policy failures disregarded by many motorists. Sure, with wider 165-section tires and uprated suspension, the Escort SS should’ve handled better than a base Escort, but that suspension and tire package wasn’t SS exclusive. Hey, if you’re going to write checks you can’t cash, you might as well do it with another automaker’s trim level, right?

Access 1982 Ford Escort Gt Neg Cn34005 444

Truthfully, the Escort SS isn’t as chock-full of chest-beating faux machismo as some of the stuff Mopar was pumping out in the late ’70s, but the Escort SS was particularly nose-wrinkling because of what happened the very next model year. For 1982, Ford launched the Escort GT with a high-output version of the 1.6-liter CVH four-cylinder engine cranking out 80 horsepower. Sure, that still isn’t a big number, but a 23 percent jump in output is absolutely nothing to sneeze at. By just waiting a year, anyone wanting a sporty Escort would get a noticeable different in straight-line performance that would leave the Escort SS in the dust.

This is where we’d normally include some sort of contemporary review, but this car was so forgotten that no one has seen fit to upload a copy of an old MotorTrend with this vehicle to the internet. Seriously, Matt and I both looked and found exactly nothing. The RCR Reddit calls it the “official car of only existing in abandoned junkyards and sales brochures.”

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It’s often said that a decade’s culture doesn’t really start until a few years into the decade. As such, it shouldn’t be a surprise that the very early 1980s were largely more of the 1970s. It’s unfortunate that the Ford Escort got caught in the crosshairs for its first model year, but that’s the way things go. These days, early Escorts are thin on the ground, rendering the disappointing Ford Escort SS an absolute rarity. Gone with the wind, as if anyone really cared at all.

(Photo credits: Ford)

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DEcarTrouble
DEcarTrouble
9 months ago

My parents drove Escorts exclusively until the 90s, and call me crazy but I would absolutely buy one today and daily it. This is a hill I will proudly die on (provided it is manual gearbox)!

Attila the Hatchback
Attila the Hatchback
9 months ago
Reply to  DEcarTrouble

So I’ve got quite a bit of experience driving an 90’s escort. It, very unfortunately, had a 3sp AT and if the hill was quite steep then you might indeed die on it…. of old age.

Overall it wasn’t a bad car, but a 4th gear on the AT would have been amazing. An MT would have been even better, but you cannot be picky when buying an old escort that was literally only ever used by an old lady to drive to church on Sunday.

DEcarTrouble
DEcarTrouble
9 months ago

My second car was an 86 Escort with an automatic and I hated it. Drove my girlfriend’s and my mom’s 90’s era ones with manuals and it was sooo much better. For what ever reason I am nostalgic on the 80’s ones though. Many because that is what I grew up around and all of them were manual at the time.

Attila the Hatchback
Attila the Hatchback
9 months ago
Reply to  DEcarTrouble

wow I just realized I wrote 90’s above — it was 1987 with the 3AT and the 1.9L 90hp engine. I’m pretty sure it switched over to a 4AT in 1990.

I also have a bit of nostalgia for a 5MT late-80’s GT, but I might reconsider if I actually tried to drive one!

Elhigh
Elhigh
9 months ago

It’s a good looking wagon and definitely a product of the Appearace Package Era: it apes performance, without actually providing any.

Frank Wrench
Frank Wrench
9 months ago

Something must be wrong with me because I like the look of that wagon, ridiculous SS decals and all. Then again, I owned a white 93 Escort Wagon which was much more bulbous than this thing. Slow and bulbous, but at least it had a 5 speed and could haul a lot for its size.

4jim
4jim
9 months ago

My ex’s 1984 Escort wagon automatic was so very slow and terrible. Her dad made her buy it for resale value. We only got $800 for it in 1991.

Matthew C
Matthew C
9 months ago

I cab from an Escort Family when I bought a 1988.5 Escort 2Door LX( mine had the “deluxe” 14” wheels and a 1.9L 90hp engine) Both my brothers had earlier Escorts ( 1 stick/1auto 1.6L) and mother had an 1985 4door.

These were miserable cars compared to Toyota and Honda counterparts. But on average pretty reliable.
.
The carbs on the early cars were terrible and finicky. Mine was a TBI and pretty smooth.

Weirdly, I still have a thing to find an early Escort GT with the MPI 110hp

Mike F.
Mike F.
9 months ago

I’m guessing that Ford was trolling Chevrolet by using their high-and-mighty SS moniker on a shitbox that couldn’t get out of its own way.

Dave mid-engine
Dave mid-engine
9 months ago

The lists of high-end options from passenger car ads in the 70s and 80s are hilarious. “Radial tires! Bucket seats! Mirrors on both sides of the car!” You got yourself a fancy automobile there, yes you do.

Boulevard_Yachtsman
Boulevard_Yachtsman
9 months ago

Fix Or Repair Daily, Shit Sandwich edition.

Manwich Sandwich
Manwich Sandwich
9 months ago

It’s almost like automotive marketing people are completely out of touch with actual consumers of a given product. Did they do ANY research on how auto consumers in the US perceive a trim level with the ‘SS’ trim level name? Probably not.

Kind of like how Ford’s marketing people named their new small pickup truck the ‘Maverick’ instead of the ‘Courier’ (as a recent example of how they are STILL out of touch)… as well as cynically applying the Mustang name to the Mach E.

Ford should really drop the Mustang name from their electric CUV and just call it the Mach E.

Austin Vail
Austin Vail
9 months ago

The Maverick was actually a decent idea as it was launched around the same time everyone was obsessed with Top Gun: Maverick, making the Maverick name “cool.” Also nobody except us weirdo car enthusiasts remembers the original 1970s Ford Maverick, and naming their truck “Courier,” while charmingly utilitarian, would’ve eliminated any sense of excitement and cool factor. I can understand Ford’s decision to give it the name they did.

Double Wide Harvey Park
Double Wide Harvey Park
9 months ago

Surprisingly, Ford Europe didn’t use the SS branding.

BenCars
BenCars
9 months ago

I feel like the worst offender was EcoSport. It just felt like they took two in-trend buzzwords and voila, here’s the name. Lazy and disappointing.

Manwich Sandwich
Manwich Sandwich
9 months ago
Reply to  BenCars

Well the EcoSport itself was a lazy and disappointing vehicle… so was it aptly named? LOL

BenCars
BenCars
9 months ago

It was neither economical (as an SUV) nor sporty, so…nah.

Last edited 9 months ago by BenCars
SlowCarFast
SlowCarFast
9 months ago

This totally fits the 80’s Big3 marketing. It seems like nearly every car was available in GT trim, which added sometimes-functional aero bits to the car, with no actual perfirmance upgrades. (Okay, sometimes they also had cool cast aluminum wheels.)

OCS-BN
OCS-BN
9 months ago

Say what you want about this pitiful piece of automotive history. But the wheels on that white wagon are handsome! I’m a sucker for sporty steelies.

Taxi maniac
Taxi maniac
9 months ago

On this week’s bring a trailer we have here a 1981 garage kept ford escort ss with 7,545 miles on it.

Moke Ozinga
Moke Ozinga
9 months ago

Just happened by one of these articles while browsing the Internet and I must admit, some of the best reading and opinion I’ve come across. The “Glorious Garbage” articles had me laughing so hard! Good shit.

Acrimonious Mofo
Acrimonious Mofo
9 months ago

These Glorious Garbage articles have become my favorite thing here.

Squirrelmaster
Squirrelmaster
9 months ago

I’m with you. They are informative, amusing, and usually highlight cars with deep character brought about by the flaws.

Jack Beckman
Jack Beckman
9 months ago

Maybe Ford just wanted to poison the SS moniker.

3WiperB
3WiperB
9 months ago

Noone has made a “Man disappointed after ordering a 42 year old Escort online” joke yet?

Electronika
Electronika
9 months ago

So when I was in high school in the late 80’s / early 90’s I was driving an 82 Honda Accord hatchback (base model) and my best friend was driving an 81 Escort SS hatchback. It was amazing how much better my Accord was then the Escort. I had purchased it at 120,000 miles from my step father for $500 and Luis bought his Escort from his uncle at 60,000 miles for $1500.

The Escort buzzed, whined, rattled and groaned constantly and sounded like it was going to rip itself to pieces every time you tried to get onto the freeway. My Accord was smooth, calm and quiet in every possible situation. I would even say that my Accord was “fun to drive” even with its sub 100hp while the escort spent 99% of its time with the gas mashed to the floor just to keep up with traffic.

I won’t even get into the quality of the materials of the interior or the difference in sound the doors made when they closed.

When I finally sold the Honda at 250,000 it still started on the first crank and drove silently on the freeway at 80. I only got rid of it because I wanted something more fun. At the time Luis’ Escort had long gone to the pick and pull.

While these looked ok for the time and the SS trim did greatly improve the look over the base model, these were disposable econoboxes. I get that our collective nostalgia likes to look at these cars with rose colored glasses. These things were never as good as we think they were.

I look at Bring a trailer when an old Topaz or Cavalier show up and we all give a collective cry of excitement because we look at a $20,000 Mirage or Versa and think that we would rather have one of these… maybe… Modern “Cheap” cars are garbage and for $20,000 as an enthusiast I could think of a dozen old econoboxes or other cars from my youth that I could get for cheap now that I would rather daily then a Versa a Mirage or a Accent but I feel that the experience would get old fast.

Taxi maniac
Taxi maniac
9 months ago
Reply to  Electronika

It would

VermonsterDad
VermonsterDad
9 months ago
Reply to  Electronika

Topaz = car I drove in high school, Cavalier = car I had in college. You summed my car searching up perfectly. Honestly though, I would have my Cavalier back as a daily driver in a heart beat. . .It was a base model, ’91, five speed, no options.

Double Wide Harvey Park
Double Wide Harvey Park
9 months ago
Reply to  Electronika

> These things were never as good as we think they were.

I don’t think anybody has ever thought these were any good at all, though.

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
9 months ago

I had completely forgotten about the wagon. Actually saw a decent-looking first gen white sedan just this week. Had to tell my BIL. Yeah, I’m a nerd—but when was the last time you saw one on the road without an octogenarian driving?

Double Wide Harvey Park
Double Wide Harvey Park
9 months ago
Reply to  TOSSABL

I had the Mercury version of the wagon. What a reprehensible pile of hyena scat that was.

Mike TowpathTraveler
Mike TowpathTraveler
9 months ago

In fact, Europeans got three Escort-branded body styles never sold in America, and a four-door sedan called the Orion.

Yes, but we got the 2 seater, Frog Eyed EXP…..so there! (I actually liked the later aero-headlamp refresh, a poor man’s Mustang GT if ever there were one. Nowadays, to find any of these Escort variations would be the rare day indeed.

Double Wide Harvey Park
Double Wide Harvey Park
9 months ago

The Orion was the ugliest car ever made at the time, and still in the top 10. It was like an escort with cheap butt implants that leaked.

Slow Joe Crow
Slow Joe Crow
9 months ago

Slightly off topic, one of the Escort body styles we didn’t get was the two door wagon or “shooting brake”.

Jakob K's Garage
Jakob K's Garage
9 months ago

That red wagon actually looks more like the rear wheel drive Mazda 323 from the 70ies, than an 80ies Ford.

Never really liked our European Escort (although I DID own a very cheap 1991 diesel station wagon once), but compared to what you got in the US, it was a beautiful ride.

Last edited 9 months ago by Jakob K's Garage
SarlaccRoadster
SarlaccRoadster
9 months ago

The Escort RS Cosworth was a riot. My mom had one when I was a teenager.
She got t-boned by a semi truck with brake failure. Rolled over a few times, but my mom walked away with only a scratch from the rearview mirror that had detached from the windshield.

Dar Khorse
Dar Khorse
9 months ago

Ford Lawyers (probably): No it’s not infringement! GM’s “SS” stands for “Super Sport”. But OURS stands for “Super Slow”. See? Totally different.

Last edited 9 months ago by Dar Khorse
SNL-LOL Jr
SNL-LOL Jr
9 months ago
Reply to  Dar Khorse

If you could depose the ghost of Henry Ford, he’d have testified that he was inspired by a certain German institution of his time.

Taxi maniac
Taxi maniac
9 months ago
Reply to  Dar Khorse

That’s awesome

Urban Runabout
Urban Runabout
9 months ago

Escort SS = Sticker Sport

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
9 months ago
Reply to  Urban Runabout

Which I kinda like for the boldness. And the wheels are pretty spiffy for steelies.

Manwich Sandwich
Manwich Sandwich
9 months ago
Reply to  Urban Runabout

Slow Sport.

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
9 months ago

This is fantastic. I’ve always been fascinated by automotive level nomenclature and feature designations, both official-protected-by-law and the unofficial this-is-how-we’ve-always-done-it-so-it’s-ours stuff.

Like how I’ve noticed over the last 10 years that Chrysler offers optional dual over the body stripes on Challengers, which always makes me think “hey, that’s a Ford thing!”

Which then makes me realize “no, it’s actually a Shelby thing that Ford appropriated when it started offering them as an option on base-model S197 Mustangs…”

Also, I noticed that the Ford-usual “GT” started popping up as a Dodge trim level about that time.

Last edited 9 months ago by Jack Trade
Cerberus
Cerberus
9 months ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

The stripes are an international racing color thing, like Italian racing red or British racing green. Postwar, USA was either white stripes over blue or blue stripes over white.

Jack Trade
Jack Trade
9 months ago
Reply to  Cerberus

Yeah, like on Briggs Cunningham’s cars too…you’re totally right. But I always chalk them up in my unofficial column as a Shelby thing. And I can’t imagine there were a ton of Challengers racing overseas (though I could be wrong on that, as I do know Ford Galaxies were big on European circuits for a time)

Double Wide Harvey Park
Double Wide Harvey Park
9 months ago
Reply to  Jack Trade

GT (gran turismo) has been a designation for a long ass time though. And IIRC GTI merely means gran turismo with a fuel-Injected engine, and the VW model was one of many (Peugeot 205 GTI, etc). In fact I don’t think VW Europe used the “GTI” label as a model name like in the US–it was called the VW Golf GTI.

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
9 months ago

SS was for the sound of the air leaking from the performance idea balloon of this cartoon.

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