Good morning! I’m still on one of Royal Caribbean’s floating hotels for another couple of days, sitting here in my pajamas at 9:00 on Thursday morning. Why the hell am I in here working instead of out lounging by the pool or shopping or taking a water aerobics class? If you knew me, you’d understand.
Actually, we’re having a great time. We’re here as part of the “Gen X Takeover Cruise,” featuring four very funny internet comedians and a couple thousand other disaffected fifty-somethings, all on a cruise while making fun of being on a cruise. Yes, there are a bunch of normies on the ship as well, which actually makes it even better. And it’s encouraging to me, because it’s proof positive that you can get famous by doing silly shit on the internet, even in your fifties. (Not that I want to be famous; it sounds like too much work, but still.)
So I’ve been feeding you choices all week, without checking the results or reading many of the comments, and this morning, I’ve been going through and finding out what you thought about the week’s offerings. As of this writing, you all haven’t even seen Thursday’s choices yet, but I’m confident enough that you’ll do the right thing that I’m choosing for you.
I didn’t actually mean for this to be an “Oops, All GMs” final; it just worked out that way. All two-doors, as well, which I like. But did you choose the same way I did? I’ll let you all have your say first, and then I’ll give you my choices.
Jetta vs Fiero – WINNER: Fiero
These two cars are both kind of cult classics, and each had its passionate defenders in the comments. But the Fiero seemed to have broader appeal, and VW’s reliability issues from the early 2000s seem to have soured a lot of you on the earlier, simpler, tougher cars like this Jetta. That’s a shame, because these really are much better cars than the ones built fifteen or twenty years later.
But put a stodgy, slow sedan up against a racy doorstop like a Fiero, and it’s going to lose every time. This isn’t quite the Fiero to get, but it’s got the better engine and the proper number of pedals on the floor, and it’s a hell of a lot cheaper than the 1988 models everyone lusts after. Easy choice for me, and for you all as well, it looks like. Now, put this Fiero up against a Scirocco in similar condition, and the choice gets much, much harder. But that’s a Showdown for another day.
Corvette vs Miata – WINNER: Corvette
This one surprised me. I thought it would be a closer vote. But the Miata’s condition and lack of interior photos scared off a lot of you. Honestly, that Miata isn’t bad; mine was almost that rough-looking, but it was such fun to drive that I didn’t care. A lot of you complained about the Corvette’s lack of color, but its blood-red interior saved it somewhat, at least enough to give it the win.
I have to agree, if only because I’ve already had a Miata. They’re great, but I’m fifty-two, and my window for crawling in and out of sports cars is going to close sooner than I’d like. I’d like to experience a greater variety of them while I still can, especially cars like the C4 that I have always admired. This one would be fine, but I’d rather have a better color combo, like the two-tone blue or two-tone brown ones that I’ve seen, even if it means giving up the 4+3.
745i vs Metro – WINNER: Metro
This one surprised me a bit as well. I know there are a lot of Metro lovers out there, but I thought putting one up against a classic ’80s BMW would make a fairer fight. But it sounds like the BMW’s gray-market status and resultant lack of parts support gave some of you pause. And it takes the right kind of person to really appreciate that 745i, whereas everybody can find a way to have fun with a Metro.
It’s definitely my choice. I briefly had a completely trashed first-generation Metro, and even that one was a hoot. This one could be a great little companion for those times when I just feel like winding out an engine in every gear – do that in a Metro, and you’re going, what, 70 maybe? Besides, I already have a comfortable, powerful four-door sedan that I like a lot more than that 745.
Cutlass vs Firebird – MY CHOICE: Firebird
Yeah, I gotta go Firebird here. The Cutlass convertible is cool, but a Firebird is a Firebird, even a basic one. And early commenting tells me this is not quite a basic Firebird; it has a performance package with better gearing, tires, and brakes that give it a little something extra. Do I care that it’s a V6 and an automatic? Nah, not really. It makes plenty of power, and while a stickshift would be more fun, the automatic has always suited the Camaro/Firebird well.
But will it pull votes away from the scruffy Cutlass Supreme? W-bodies are surprisingly nice cars, and from what I remember of the one time I rode in one, Cutlass convertibles aren’t nearly as shaky and flimsy as some other unibody drop-tops. But then, it’s got that 3.4-liter twincam engine, which is not what anyone would call a paragon of reliability. The basic 3.1-liter pushrod V6 would be a lot better.
We’ll leave that one as an open-ended question for today, and check the results on Monday. I’m off to the pool. But just so you all have something to vote on over the weekend, I’ll put up a poll between these ones. Four GM two-doors, three rear-wheel-drive, three manuals, two two-seaters, all under four grand each. Pick your poison.
I must say, I’m disappointed by this level of ‘I am in a cruise ship’ content. Some stuff about cars? You are phoning it in, my man. Torch would have had a whole article about how he caught norovirus and shat his pants by now.
Sports cars are mostly useless compared to other vehicles, so Metro.
With a stick, I’d say the Metro is a sports car, but that’s likely an unpopular opinion.
“With a stick, I’d say the Metro is a sports car”
You’re not wrong! 🙂
Fiero here. I’ll take the risk of getting burned.
I got 4 out of 4, and I’ll take the Vette on this vote.
My vote is for the Fiero. It’s the most interesting to me.
And 3/4 of my votes went with the winner.
I disagreed on the Corvette because I STRONGLY disagree that the Corvette *only* needs brakes. The seller said is was a project car and the seller said it “needs a tuneup”… which suggests that the engine isn’t running right either. And I bet those aren’t the only things wrong. Given the seller replaced the fuel pump, alternator and battery and is now dumping it, I’m gonna guess there is some other unresolved issues going on that go WAY beyond ‘just needing brakes’.
By comparison, the issues the Miata had are mostly cosmetic.
Vette is on a Montana title which implies smog issues or other hinkiness.
Yeah… I was just gonna edit my comment and mention that. I think many are being fooled by how nice the vette looks from the outside. But with vettes, you can’t go by that.
Well, if 2 out of 3 ain’t bad, then 3 out of 4 is pretty solid, right?
For the Friday Finale, I gotta go with the Fiero. I’ve never had a mid-engine car and really want want to try one on for size. However, I don’t have the budget for any of the big name exotics, so I need to go with one of the everyman’s versions. Also, being larger than average limits my choices (sorry Mr. Deuce). I know that I at least fit in the passenger seat of the Fiero and I think I could manage the driver’s seat as well.
Corvette is the only one of the four I have any interest in. The C4 is my second least favorite Corvette generation, but it is still a cool car. The manual transmission is also a huge plus. If I could have any of the eight vehicles featured this week, I would go with the Jetta. I have a strange fascination with diesel engines for some reason.
I’m still confused by how much people like the Metro. Seriously, people – have you ever driven one of these turds? Driving a slow car fast is fun, but this car can’t be driven fast. This thing is also a terrible car for commuting. Do you really want to commute in an uncomfortable penalty box that doesn’t have AC or a radio? Yet again I feel like this is a joke I’m not in on.
The Jetta was hands down the best of the 8 cars this week.
Have you driven an early C4 Corvette? They were not good cars when new and time has only made them worse in comparison.
As to the Metro – it is the only practical non-broken car in the final. They do make excellent commuter cars and there were available with A/C and a radio. The article doesn’t tell us if this particular Metro has them. I don’t even care about the radio – a bluetooth speaker will fix that (which is what I did in my 2004 Astro with a radio).
There is also a Metro cult that loves the 3 cylinder manual so you are unlikely to lose money on it if you drive it a few months or years and decide it is not for you.
Realistically, any pre-C5 Vette isn’t going to be great to drive. Still, it is a rear drive manual transmission vehicle that isn’t underpowered. It may not be as good as a modern Vette, but it is going to have its moments.
As for the Metro, the article didn’t mention the radio or lack of AC, but the interior photos show no AC and a radio with an absent face (it technically has a radio, but it doesn’t work). It is also 25 years old with 200k miles, so I wouldn’t expect it to be reliable at this point. I also imagine this vehicle wouldn’t hold up well in a crash with anything larger than a moped.
Cars have improved in almost every way since this vehicle was built. Also, I recall reviews of the Metro when new were mostly negative. Reviews listed fuel economy as a positive, but literally everything else was negative. Almost all reviews stated these cars were loud, slow, uncomfortable, and built with very cheap materials.
I think the Metro is interesting, but that isn’t the same as good. These cars have a cult following, but realistically, good cars don’t need to have a cult following.
A mid-80’s Corvette is underpowered. My brother had one in the early 90’s. I’ve ridden and driven one. I have zero interest in owning one.
Yes the Metro is 25 years old. The Corvette is 40 years old. 80’s GM cars were garbage – I grew up in GM town in the 80’s where everyone drove a GM or Ford. The Metro is a Suzuki under the sheet metal.
No, the Metro won’t be exciting but it will do my commute just fine.
In the end – I have a use for the Metro. I have no use for a C4 Corvette. Again – the Jetta would be better – but it isn’t an option.
The Metro is the best car out of the 4, easily the winner by default.
Metro all the way, baybeeee! I wanna hoon that thing. 😀
Because choosing a car can be more about emotion than about logic and “doing the smart thing,” I’m going to go with the Fiero for its status as a car that got snuffed out far too soon.
All the other 3 had decent production runs (and the Corvette is still going), but for me it’s the Fiero that tugs at the heart strings.
Since the BMW 745i didn’t make the cut, I’ll take the Corvette. Should be an easy fixer to play with awhile and then sell it on.
I like them all, but my Metro was so much fun, I can’t resist picking it to have that fun again.
Went Pontiac, because why not? I love a good off center racing stripe.
Metro – this isn’t even close. Zero interest in old broken sports cars that are slower than a modern crossover.
Metro is a practical commuter car for $2K. Bonus that it is set up to flat tow and I have an RV that could tow it.
Buying the Corvette, popping in Cinderella’s “Night Songs” (1986) and cruising. After doing the brakes I guess.
Even if it isn’t the best car, it seems shockingly cheap for a manual transmission Corvette in decent shape.
Slow car fast… It’s Metro time baby!
That would also apply to the Corvette.
Yeah, but that severe understeer you get in the Metro can really make the car dance. When I had a 96 Metro, despite its dearth of hp, I was able to routinely get some pretty serious slides and full spins going with it.
Sure, you can make a corvette slide with ease (especially in ones that didn’t come with traction control), but hooning a Metro requires a heck of a lot more skill. This is a hill I’m willing to die on.
My ’98 Metro had lift-off oversteer for days on loose surfaces. It was SO MUCH FUN!
State Patrol yesterday wanted to do a meet & greet with the guy in his ’92 metro with new shifter bushings (In the end all was good).
Solid lineup this week! I gotta go corvette, It’s the one I’d actually enjoy the most out of all these, and its still dirt cheap.
Man. I’m pretty sure I picked the opposite way all week, and as such I really don’t want any of these, but I went Fiero because why not.
As a recent sucker for project cars (see my avatar) I went with the one that feels like less expensive work, so Corvette.
Plus red interior.
I already have a convertible and like small, so I went Fiero.
I’m of the age where New Balance shoes, cargo shorts, and a Corvette are practically required for a white, American male, so I voted for it, purely out of reflex.
You could complete the ensemble with a custom crossed-flags logo embroidered fanny pack.
Only complete if you have those creepy car show kids that are hiding their faces. You know the ones.
I’ll raise you a drive-in diner tray hung on the window with a fake milkshake (or malt) in a glass, and a plastic hamburger.
Don’t forget the satin jacket!
The satin jacket must be one of the following-
I’m way overdue for a mid-life crisis, so I’ll take the Firebird, grow back my mustache, put the T-Tops in the trunk for good, and crank up my old B-Boys mix tapes. I could pretend Bill Clinton was president again!
Don’t forget the aviators.
This is a 90’s ‘Bird. Gotta go with wrap-around glasses driving that thing.
The ones Earnhardt wore.
Exactly!
Wrap-arounds are good, but aviators go with everything.
Nothing wrong with a good set of aviators, but they were very much out of style in the 90’s.
I feel attacked don’t have a 4th gen but have a 79 and 89 and I have prescription aviator sunglasses haha
Naw, for a 2nd and a 3rd gen, aviators are where it’s at!
I don’t THINK it’s a weird fetish or something, but I actually like doing brakes. So I also voted Corvette 🙂
I’ve been doing brakes on all of my family’s cars for so long that I could do them blindfolded.
I’ve been doing brakes on all of my family’s cars for so long that you could say I bleed brake fluid.
I actually chose the Metro. I remember it being cheap and manual, and I’m considering getting back into rallycross next year. This would fit the bill.
Was the Fiero manual? If so it might sway my choice.
Yep. Four speed, tho.
The Fiero was a manual, but I picked the Metro. I would rallycross either one of those, but the Metro is so easy to work on and so much fun I couldn’t not pick it. I flat towed mine to the track too, and this one is already set up to do that.
I like small things. I want the Metro. I’m sure that everyone else wants the ‘Vette, but I have a sportscar that’s probably quicker, definitely handles better, and might ride better because it’s 30 years newer, so I don’t need it. I could use a cheap runabout that I can park out of the way. But that’s not everyone, so it’s okay.