Buying gifts is a very specific sort of skill, and I think it gets harder as we get older and accumulate more and more stuff. A good gift, I think, is something that someone desires, but is reluctant to buy for themselves for any number of reasons. You know what’s a great gift that people – good, upstanding car-people – desire and doesn’t add to the clutter of their lives? An Autopian membership!
Yes, that’s right: you can gift memberships to the Autopian to friends, loved ones, family members, stalkees, mentors, mentees, mentats, anyone whose life you would like to improve, by a considerable margin. Autopian membership means experiencing the Autopian ad-free! It means you get to take part in member-only Discord rooms, see members-only post series like Exhaust Leaks or Tales From the Slack that give all sorts of exciting, behind-the-scenes dirt and gossip and insights so trenchant, you’ll need an electrified trenching machine just to wade through them.
There’s also car drawings, by me, on your birthday (Velour+)! Of any car you want! That’s for your first year. After that, you still get a car drawing on your birthday, but it’s a randomly-generated one using pixel art I make on a vintage Apple II computer! Who else gives you that?
There’s also the members-only newsletter, member trivia nights, and I haven’t even gotten to the physical stuff! Member-only exclusive T-shirts and pins and grille badges!
Autopian Membership is fantastic. You get to be a part of the best, most engaging, most knowledgeable, sexiest, most welcoming automotive community on the human internet, you get great swag, and you’re helping to support a site that believes in human writers over AI slop.
Someone you know in your life needs this gift! Or you need it, and should send this to someone who loves you and wants to gift you a better life. Plus, if you give the gift of Autopian Membership, we will give you this gift: David or I or both of us will say favorable things about your car.
Yep, we mean it: When a gift is activated, we’ll ask you to send us video/pictures of your car, and David and I will find something positive to say about it, on video, so you can hear us praising whatever miserable heap you’re saddled with. And I guarantee we’ll be at least 47% sincere!
Beat that with your Costco membership!
Have I convinced you? I hope so! Here’s the various membership levels you can choose to gift:
As A Cloth Member You Get
- Access to Member’s Only Posts
- Private access in Autopian Discord
- Discounts on events
- See fewer ads
As A Vinyl Member You Get
- Everything in Cloth, plus…
- A limited edition Members Only bumper sticker
- A limited edition Members Only shirt
As A Velour Member You Get
- Everything in Cloth+Vinyl, plus…
- A custom grille badge for your car
- Invites to virtual trivia night
- A Jason drawing on your birthday
As An RCL Member You Get
- Everything in Cloth+Vinyl+Velour
- A private tour of the Galpin Auto Sports car collection or participating museum.
- Quarterly merch drops
If you live outside of the United States and still want to support us and get gear, you can join the Autopian Foreign Legion. Both Velour and Vinyl are available on an annual basis for people outside of the United States, we just kindly request an additional $25 for shipping.
That’s it! Use these links to get a gift membership or share them with your friends. If you have any issues, please email Matt at matt@theautopian.com.
Speaking as a Velour member, the birthday drawing is awesome, and the pins are very cool. I never would have imagined dropping such coin on a “mere internet website” but this is a community I’m glad to be part of (not that I’m sure why you’d let the likes of me in, but that’s a question for another time…)
“I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member”
–Groucho Marx
This is why we stopped doing birthday and Christmas gifts for adults years ago.
The only hold-out is my mother who insists we do a gift exchange for Christmas – even though the family is scattered over 12 time zones and all we do is exchange gift cards over Facetime
Do it now
Does the gift come with that AMC in the top shot?
Cuz I could use some spare parts for my SX/4…
You have an SX/4?!?!
Brandon!!! Get Mr./Ms. Westboundbiker signed up for Member Rides, stat!!!
It’s got a lift, 4.0 swap, NP231 swap (from my first car, a 95 jeep XJ), late model mustang seats, a 15/16ths wrench for a trans case shifter, custom front and rear bumpers, a 3d printed overhead console, MTs, and a while lot of subframe patches…
I got it for $500, but I’d hate to think how much more I’ve sunken into it since then. But it sure turns heads, and actually rides well for a 4wd toy.
Coming soon: 3.55 gears in the front, courtesy of a CJ, and an XJ rear axle. Should hopefully be able to scramble around the local off-road park with the best of them, and still cruise the highways.
I’m waiting a few more weeks for the “season” to roll over.
I need to figure out where to put the Autopian grille badge so it doesn’t disrupt airflow.
I still think the foreign legion membership should be called the USDM membership. Esp. considering that mandated 25.
Dammit this is so good I wish I’d have thought of it first!
Along with expanding membership tiers at both ends with the Upside Down Milk Crate and Whale-Penis Leather levels.
The former would lack Discord access (perfect for me since I can’t sign into Discord because I forgot I had it and tried to sign up again so I’m stuck in some sort of error loop) and the latter would allow you to drive one of Beau’s showrods or microcars, or one press loaner (models with physical keys only).
All yours, just as long as Adrian gets a prominent FOR MALAISE ERA ONLY restriction on his!