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In addition to that second AI topshot of cars in a parking lot, not only are they all vans but WAY too many are green for it to be a real-world photo. Sadly, green is like just 1-2% of new cars (or something like that) and most of the time I see a topshot of a bit bunch of cars at a port or something, it seems that none of them are green (or yellow, or orange, or brown). 🙁
If this SsangYong is rockin, don’t come a-knockin.
I understand negativity drives internet traffic and misery of others can be hilarious, but part of what I love about Autopian is the positive attitude supporting love of all things automotive. So as an alternative to “Make David live in the Aztek” or “Make Adrian drive an ugly car,” please consider the next membership drive goal be something wholesome and positive and happy that we can feel good about contributing towards.
Examples: If we get [X] new members or upgrades…
… we can donate to [aviation foundation] who will let Mercedes Streeter sit in the co-pilot seat of [airplane she loves] for an hour in the air.
… we can let Torch to play with a Twisted TBug for [time period]
… we can ship Project Cactus across the Pacific for a US tour (on the back of a flatbed truck as it’s not street legal here.)
… we will build [Bishop creation] into a full sized concept car out of paper mache.
… we will enter the NY Taxi to a 24 Hours of Lemons race.
… Beau will be so relieved that we’re losing less money that he’ll let [Autopian writer] borrow a car from Beau’s collection that they’ve been coveting.
… we can give Adrian… uh… I don’t know what will be wholesome and positive and happy for Adrian. Maybe the SsangYong was the way to go after all, sorry for the interruption.
I get your point Regorlas, but me personally, I feel OK with making David sleep in an Aztek, or contributing to forcing Adrian drive a SsangYong in public.
Maybe this says something unsavory about me? I dunno, but I’m probably to old to change.
I don’t see it as being thematically different than the principal at a school offering to get on the dunk tank if a fundraiser goal is met.
To me it’s just good natured fun. If it was mean spirited I’d have an issue with it.
Where’s your pal Keezleamazel Ish?
OK, these are some great ideas! But I’m betting that they wouldn’t go through with the Aztek/SsangYong antics if the person in question wasn’t actually up for it.
Bishop, I’m begging you, we absolutely need to see the opening credits for that 80s hit, Autopian Justice!
One of my favorite original Top Gear bits is The Interceptors. I bet the Autopian can top that…
For an article about growing the size of, ahem, membership, that includes Sex Mechanic references, I’m surprised by the lack of ribald puns so far. Maybe the Rodius is so unattractive it kills all such thoughts?
Only Vans Autopian meet with Torch in his mechanic jumpsuit…that might generate new members.
There is, this is the way that I will insult people in english from now on.
About Adrian and the Rodius: somebody thought me about the korean turtle warship and Admiral Yi in the comments in another post this week.
I think we should spread this knowledge: Wrap the Rodius in a wood grain vinyl, add a turtle head hood ornament and send Adrian to Goodwod dressed in typical Korean navy vests from the time.
I bet he would need to explain about it many, many times.
I propose a new show called “Oops All Vans” where you invite people to drive any car from your fleet around a test track, but the fleet is entirely 90’s Astros and Windstars.
In my defence when I wrote that I didn’t quite know how traumatic the whole ordeal was for Miss Mercedes. I thought it was just standard Autopian ass-hattery.
Now I do know I stand by the original sentiment.
It’s one thing to make a goth roll up to Goodwood in a silly van with a herd of silly people in the back. True next-level shenanigans would be to make him show up to goth night in it. (Please note, Ssangyong will need safe overnight parking as the likelihood of being able to drive after leaving a goth night is slim to none.)
Maybe it won’t be as bad, if you think about driving the 쌍용 로디우스.
I don’t know if the Korean alphabet will show up in the comments.
Honestly the Rodius isn’t that bad, I’d take it over current Hyundai and Kia designs any day of the week.
The worst part is the name – “Rodius” sounds like a teenager synonym for perineum.
It sounds like a medicinal cream to be applied to the private parts three times a day.
“Ask your doctor if Rodius is right for you”
(Seriously though, I am insanely jealous of the rest of the world that doesn’t have to put up with pharmaceutical commercials.)
Something I found out as a new member is that not only is their access to this TFTS but the entire archive going back to the start.
Ugh, what’s it like to find out you live atop a vein of solid gold? TFTS is so good, and the member party room in discord is no slouch either
Click on the tags at bottom of the article, or you can use the search box.
Adrian is looking at this all wrong. What could be more Goth than a car that actively destroys the souls of all who lay eyes upon it?
If something is worth doing it’s worth doing stylishly. Or not at all.
Can Adrian be forced to dye his Mohawk hot pink and listen to Hansen’s Mmm-bop on repeat while he’s in the Odius?
I mean the Rodius?
I think what he has to wear might be a good subject. Maybe a Sheldon or Pee-wee Herman outfit instead of black
Rearrange these words: body, my, over, dead.
See, putting a goth in a Ssangyong is terrible, but funny. Forcing a goth to wear non-goth clothing is extremely uncomfortable for our kind and could be considered torture under the Geneva Convention
Is the Rodius cleaner than the NYC taxi?
Fifi’s litter box is cleaner than that thing.
Man just read this article and comments, I was just not drunk enough for this yet.
I am nowehere drunk enough to deal with this Rodius bullshit.
Be nice or you’ll be driving that…car…from the AI parking lot shot.
Good news I am now drunk enough and I have a few ideas
Has it got a cassette player? Because I have a cassette single of this,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy9h2q_dr9k
Gentlemen do not get drunk, mildly top heavy or a teensy bit spifflicated or thoroughly peloothered, even pot valiant, but never drunk. Occasionally one might become over refreshed.
Outstanding – “over refreshed” Came here for this, leaving over refreshed.
Think of it this way: It’s an official Autopian car, which means it shall be destroyed. The speed and fury and violent conditions in which it dies is in your capable and willing hands.
I’m not like those other bozos who just break stuff *cough*Miss Mercedes*cough*.
I guess you could always see how well it can tow around your Mondial!
I guess I could also run you over in it.
This could be a challenge – according to the Rodius wiki I just read it’s one of two cars banned from the British equivalent of demolition derby (along with the… Chrysler Imperial?!?) for being too damned sturdy.
Edit to add link – https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banger_racing
Oh yeah, they banned the Imperial in demolition derbies in the US too. I think it had to do with something like that it was based on a unibody Chrysler, but then ALSO welded to a frame.
If we’ve gone past the threshold needed, then feel like could spring for a roll of Avery Dennison, possibly in whatever tartan the Duke’s house sports. Of course it would help Adrian to bond with the car if he had to apply it personally(and not go too over budget)
If Adrian does find love in a Rodius, I hope someone writes the appropriate parody of Love in an Elevator.
If the Rodius is rockin’, don’t bother knockin’.
Those aren’t vibrating seats. It’s a horribly out of balance inline five diesel motor you can feel.
All the more to add to your misery?
It can be two things!
I suggest modifying Radar Love to Rodius Love. It’s right there.
“We found love in a hopeless place” has the same syllables as “we found love in a Rodius”, just saying.
If a Rodius in black is found, it would be an opportunity to turn lemons into lemonade so to speak.
Pimp it out into a gothic hearse and make it look gaudy and chromed out. Adorn it with opera lamps, red velvet interior, and a sound system to play some goth rock to compliment the miserable experience of driving it so as to allow the operator to stew in their misery and enjoy it.
Going to take a lot of maneuvering to get out of that AI parking lot.
Agree. Although, it looked like a tray of Star Trek TOS data cards viewed from above to me.
Forcing someone into a SsangYong must be a violation of the Geneva Convention.
It’s a violation of something. My dignity, probably.
Oh man – this place fills me with so much joy. What a great way to close down a Friday afternoon! Now, off to the liquor cabinet to pour myself a tall whisky on the rocks.
I feel the same way on all accounts, except who needs the rocks, just give me whiskey, make it Irish and neat.
Like how her arm is penetrating Jason’s shoulder and he is like “eh”.
Other way around, she was enjoying her well-earned rest, sitting on a tire, when Jason sidled up to her.