Here’s What A Professional Car Designer Notices In A Room Full Of Amazing Cars

Miss Mercedes is not the only Autopian who has been spreading their wings recently, I’ve also been among the clouds. She might be happy as Queen of her own destiny aloft in what is basically a flying Volkswagen Beetle, but I most certainly am not. Ever been in one of those old Cessnas? Kept aloft by a wheezing flat six, they bounce about so much in response to the tiniest gusts that a good fart would help you flare the landing. No-bloody-thankyou. I prefer my flying vehicles to be large enough for me to relax with a book: the Penguin Classic edition of We by Yevgeny Zamyatin – because performative reading is en vogue this week – accompanied by a cold beer.

I was airborne the other week as part of one of my semi-regular jaunts to Car Design Event in Germany, and while I love nearly everything about aviation, a definitely do not love traveling by air myself and all the rigamarole it entails that is not the actual flying part. Catching my flight meant getting up at 5 am and not reaching the hotel until twelve hours later, despite being in the air for a little more than an hour and a half. I think you’ll agree, this was a spectacular drag. Upon touching down, I hoped to see a different Queen of the Skies, but I only got a glimpse though the window of the transit bus because the local Euro hop you’ve just endured isn’t important enough for a jetway. And in an ironic meteorological twist, the weather in Frankfurt was filthier than what I’d just left behind in Birmingham.

There are a couple of Car Design Events sprinkled throughout the year, each with a slightly different focus: this time it was CDE Classic held at the Nationales Automuseum. The Loh Collection within the museum is one of the most incredible public (private) collections of cars in the world. The problem is the location is Dietzhölztal: Germany’s version of the ass end of nowhere. It’s like modern art fans trogging all the way to Texas just to see Prada Marfa. You’ve really got to want to go.

It Was Far Too Wet To Attempt Driving My First McLaren

If you remember my adventure to this event last year, there was a veritable buffet of classic cars for me to sample, including a Delta Integrale, a Mercedes 450 6.9, a 911 restomod, and a Toyota Sera. Things were reduced in scale this year to just one single overnight at the Leica hotel in Wetzlar (yet another hour’s schlep from the museum), so driving was limited to a solitary afternoon, which the pissing rain did its best to ruin. Calling me like a siren was a McLaren GT,S and I had remembered to pack my own personal driving coach, an infamous Ohio club racer of some repute. But with the rain what it was and never having driven anything with that level of performance before, and not wanting to have to make a difficult phone call to Matt, I decided discretion was the better part of valor. There was one car I did have a go in (two, in fact, because I had to refilm it), and it was more miserable than a month consisting entirely of Tuesday afternoons – needless to say, I’ll be writing that one up separately.

Inside the museum, it was warm and dry and the coffee was plentiful. The permanent exhibits remained much as last year, but there was still a lot to enjoy and a couple of special OEM treats had been bought along especially for the occasion. I’ll give you a tour – just read this in a British accent and it’ll be exactly like walking round yourself with one of those little audio guides.

Kiamaster Bongo

Starting in the early 1980s, Kia began building light commercial vehicles in two versions – the truck ‘Bongo’ and the van ‘Bongo Coach’. They rapidly gained popularity with self-employed people; a van for all trades, like a kind of South Korean Chevrolet Express. This is an upscale Kiamaster Bongo 9 minibus. Look at all that soft velour to sink into as the 2.2 oiler under the front seats slowly fumes you into a permanent sleep. I’m not sure what the 9 stands for; with all of 70bhp, it’s possibly the number of hours this thing takes to move with 9 passengers on board. Or it’s how many seconds it takes the driver to find first on the manual column shift when the lights turn green on Seoul Main Street. The fact that it’s badged as a Kiamaster as opposed to simply Kia dates means it was built before 1986.

VW Vanagon Carat

Here’s the quintessential German take on the same idea: a big blue box with the engine in a strange place to maximize interior volume and give workshop techs back pain. It appears I wasn’t going to escape Germany without seeing at least one version of my rear-engine nemesis. This later Vanagon has the telltale lower grill at the front, which indicates it is water-cooled, rendering it about 5% less offensive to my hearing. I rode as a passenger in this and was mildly impressed at the level of interior appointments, including captain’s chairs in the middle row, flip-down tables, and overhead air con like an airliner. The three-speed auto gearbox on this one meant it didn’t go like one when we tried to find the nearest McDonald’s during the afternoon, though.

Genesis X Gran Coupe Concept

I saw the X Gran Convertible at the CDE in Motorworld earlier this year and thought it was stunning. Here, they bought along the standard coupe version. Both these cars are based on the existing G90, and although this was a very sophisticated hard model (I got told off for examining it with my fingers), the maturity of the 3D data needed to make something like this means they are production-ready if Genesis decides to go ahead. The original Hyundai Genesis of 2008 was an anonymous barge for South Korean executives being picked up from Incheon airport. Their success as a stand-alone brand demonstrates how important it is to introduce a distinctive and premium identity and utilize it consistently across the range.

Hyundai Heritage Series Grandeur

Although this concept is now four years old, this is its first European appearance. I prevaricate on this sort of thing a bit – why go to all the trouble of building a concept of an older model when you have no intention of reintroducing it? But Hyundai are relative  newcomers to the auto business – their first car was a license-built version of the Ford Cortina in 1968. When it came to developing their own – the Pony of 1975 – they hired a bunch of British engineers to help them, hilarious given the state of the UK car industry at the time. The point is the Hyundai back catalogue is not awash with greatest hits – in fact, this model of Grandeur was a rebadged second-generation Mitsubishi Debonair. Cars like this allow designers to try new ideas without the studio tipping its hand to the public about what they have in mind for future models. There’s not a lot novel here aside from some color and material choices, although I think the column stalks and door switches are neat – and although the retro-futurism is cliché, it got a lot of attention. The last few years have seen an explosion in South Korean cultural soft power, and Hyundai (along with Kia and Genesis) finding their design confidence reflect this.

The Best Of The Rest

Right enough of all that designer waffle, let’s broaden our minds with a little photo dump of the other very cool stuff I saw.

1998 Mercedes CLK GTR Straßenversion

The FIA-mandated road-going version of the GT1 race car. Only six roadster versions were ever built.

1989/90 Mercedes 190E 2.5-16 Evo II

1992 DTM title-winning car driven by Klaus Ludiwg. This car was originally a plain old Evo before being rebuilt to Evo II specs.

1994 Alfa Romeo 155 V6 Ti

More DTM filth? You perverts. Driven by Nicola Larini, and a black version of this is driven by me in GT7.

1995 Penske PC24

In 1994, the infamous ‘Beast’ pushrod Mercedes-Benz (Ilmor) engine dominated the Indy 500. The following year, no Penske cars made the grid. This is Emerson Fittipladi’s car.

1963 Peugeot 404 Break

It’s a Scuderia service car. Was Il Commendatore privately a Peugeot fan? Seems unlikely, but none of his own cars had much cargo capacity.

1994 NASCAR Monte Carlo

According to the museum, Jeff Gordon’s 1994 Monte Carlo is the winningest NASCAR outside the US.

1960 Messerschmitt FMR Tg500 Tiger

FMR had taken over production of the KR200 in 1956, given it a bump in power and the correct number of wheels, and called the result a sports car. With less than 20bhp, I think that’s the German sense of humor again.

Mercedes AMG GT One

At a standstill, which I’ve heard is the GT One’s preferred state. All right, let’s finish with some sporty Germans that are not Mercedes.

Opel Manta B

Built between 1975 and 1988 and based on the platform of the Ascona B (below), this car is the successor to the Manta A that was sold in Buick dealers in the US. The Manta was GM Europe’s answer to the all-conquering Ford Capri. Available in the UK as a Vauxhall, it became an Opel when the car was facelifted in 1982. Meaning for a period in the eighties, you could buy both Vauxhalls and Opels in the UK. See? Even we were not safe from GM buffoonery.

1979 Ascona 400R

Opel built 400 of these, hence the name. It had heads from Cosworth and bodywork by Irschmer. A homologation special, in the hands of Walter Röhrl the super trick 400R was the last RWD car to win the World Championship in 1982, the same year the Audi Quattro appeared. Those black fins running the length of the fenders are rubber, to stop Officer Torch doing any hood slides.

1987 Opel Corsa GSi

Known as the Vauxhall Nova GTE in the UK, this little Corsa was GM’s answer to the Euro hot hatch boom. Powered by a 1.6-liter four, these sat below established class middleweights like the Golf. A proper little Saturday night special (in the UK at least …) its natural habitat was a McDonald’s car park or upside down on a town center roundabout.

So that’s it for this year, sorry there wasn’t as much driving as last year, but events like this are at the mercy of the OEMs that support them, so we should be thankful they happen at all. There was no currywurst this time either, and my cunning plan to bring curry ketchup home with me was thwarted because I only had carry-on luggage. But one thing I did bring home was my first-ever piece of OEM swag. I got that from the company that built the miserable car I did drive so I’m not showing it to you yet.

All I’m going to say is the Rodius is no longer the worst car I’ve ever driven.