This week’s theme has been simplicity itself: all the cars have been the same price. And as it turns out, they all are said to run and drive well, so you can just go get any one of them and head for home, no trailer needed. But which one out of this motley assortment of vehicles is the best way to spend three and a half grand?
Yesterday wasn’t even a contest; almost nobody wanted that Hummer H3. I expected it to pull a few more votes, considering its competition was a Chrysler compact, but apparently the Hummer’s uncertain condition and lousy presentation didn’t do it any favors, giving Carroll Shelby’s red-headed stepchild an easy win.
You all know without asking which one is my choice. I actually quite like the L-bodies in general, and if you’re going to get one, this is the one to get. Sure, it’s a little rusty, and it’s nobody’s idea of stylish, but when is a little car with too much power for its own good not fun?
So … we have our four finalists for the week. I’m not going to give you any silly scenarios or anything; this will just be a simple vote for your favorite. Let’s do a quick recap.
1976 Dodge D100 Adventurer
This old Dodge truck is nowhere near original; someone pointed out in the comments that it has Chevy fenders on the bed in place of the original Dodge ones, and now that I look at photos of what it’s supposed to look like, it’s obvious. But not many people are going to know that, outside of a classic Mopar show; they’ll just see a cool ’70s stepside truck. And replacing bits of a car with bits you like better from other cars is a time-honored hot rodding tradition anyway.
Speaking of replacing bits: some of you mentioned a desire to replace this truck’s 318 V8 with a later 5.9-liter Magnum V8 with fuel injection. That would certainly wake it up, and if you installed a newer overdrive automatic to go with it, you’d probably save some fuel as well. That’s the beauty of a non-original vehicle like this; the purists are already gonna hate it, so you might as well do what you want to it.
1985 Jaguar XJ12
I just want to go on record as repeating my opinion that this is a Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad idea. It’s right up there with following a stranger into an alleyway in Tijuana, or greenlighting Cop Rock. It is guaranteed to end in tears. I mean, a gray-market example of an incredibly complicated Jaguar from just after the British Leyland debacle, for sale at a dealership that obviously knows nothing about it? What could possibly not go wrong?
I mean, fortune favors the bold, and all that, but look at this engine bay. It looks like Medusa got assimilated by the Borg. Sure, it runs now, but that’s how they get you. But if you are brave enough to tackle it, don’t you dare swap in a Chevy V8. The V12 is the only unique thing about this car. If you want a V8-swapped Jag, look for a more common XJ6, or one that has already been swapped. They’re not hard to find.
1996 Volvo 850 Wagon
Volvo wagons have got to be the unlikeliest enthusiast’s cars of all time. They’re not sporting, they’re not fast (well, the turbocharged ones kinda are), and they’re styled like a mini-mart. And yet, we all go through a phase where we want one. I have a few theories as to why, but basically it boils down to a lack of bullshit. The other cars we lust after are silly, cantankerous, blindingly expensive, or all three, and here we have a car that just does what you want it to do, and despite its appearance, manages to not be boring while doing it.
This one is equipped how you’d want it, with a non-turbocharged engine and a manual transmission, for maximum enjoyment with minimum fuss. It has a shit-ton of miles on it, but it looks like it has been well cared for, and just needs a new steward to keep maintaining it in the same manner.
1985 Dodge Omni GLH
When I visited the Shelby Heritage Center in Las Vegas a few years ago, there was not a single Dodge Shelby car on display, and only a small wall display talking about them. I think that’s a shame, and not just because I’m a Mopar fan. Sure, the Cobra, GT40, and Shelby Mustangs are cool, and they’re an important part of the story, but they come from an era when horsepower was easy and guilt-free; going faster was simply a matter of throwing displacement at the problem. The turbocharged Dodges came from a far less innocent era, and had to work harder to go fast. Giving them lip-service is an oversight, in my opinion.
Besides, like it or not, the Omni GLH embodies the hot rod ethos: stick the big engine in the small car, and go have fun. And doing it to a front-wheel-drive economy car, when your competitors are still hawking rear-drive V8 pony cars, is badass. Somehow, I like this scruffy GLH better than I would a pristine example. The rust is disappointing, but as long as it isn’t structural, it doesn’t matter that much.
$3,500 isn’t a whole lot for any car these days, let alone something fun and interesting. But I think any of these qualify. There’s a little something for everyone here, I think. So which one is the one for you?
If you’re going to make a bad decision, make the baddest of them all. Jag V12 for the win.
The Volvo is a bit high-mileage…the GLH will be easier to work on.
I’m pretty sure I’ve test driven an 850 (or two…) but can’t be positive due to inclement weather (the mists of time). However, I know I’ve lusted after them (and still do) despite the fact that contemporary reviews of plain-jane 850s often find them underwhelming. I blame poor perspective for that: while the 850 doesn’t impress like it once did if you also consider everything made in the decades since, in its time with its peers, it was outstanding.
Plus wagon plus manual of course. No brainer. 🙂
PS: as I’m sure some know by now, I’ve got Volvos from right before this 850 (a 240 manual wagon) and after it (a first-gen XC90). Neither one is perfect, but both are satisfying.
With that mileage, the Volvo should be $1000. My go to cheap car would be a V70. I see them on FB and CL all the time for $1000-2500. I’m considering a used Ferrari or Porsche so I’m not going to do it but sometimes I think I should just sell my 5 cars I currently own and buy a V70.
850 prices always do better than 740s and 940s, etc… both of which are decent boxy wagons. I kind of like all wagons (including the few smaller, dinky Volvos) but even an early 2000s Volvo has got an awful lot of electronics and plumbing in it, especially if a turbo. I’m just stating the obvious of course, since anyone with five cars (I only have three, plus a motorcycle) already knows this. 🙂
Also, I do agree that that ought to be a $1,000. wagon. Sadly, when if comes to prices (for lots of things, not just old cars) there’s be a big difference between ought and is since the pandemic.
True. My mother had an S70. Nice enough car (wagon is better) and it always seemed to have electronic issues. And then I always think that an equivalent BMW is always going to be a better car. Maybe not as far as reliability or cost of ownership but I’d take a 528i touring over a Volvo wagon.