If nothing else here at the Autopian, we aim to please our readers. Even if I disagree, as a humble servant, I must obey your commands, so I’m doing that now.
The story in question involves a certain vehicle that is rumored to be in development as we speak: a Bronco-based, high-end Lincoln off-roader. Many speculated that this meant Ford’s luxury division was planning on making a Mercedes G-Wagen competitor, as unlikely and ill-advised as that seemed.
A little over a week ago, I used logic and the obvious needs and wants of the car market to give you what I thought made more sense: a Maverick-platformed Lincoln as an affordable, profitable, and probably more practical product for everyone. Based on the majority of the comments, it looks like what I had in mind was not what you had in mind.
Silly as the idea seems to me, an industrial-looking Ford SUV turned into a red-blooded American rival for the Benz favored by Kardashians and kingpins alike appeared to be the preferred tack. Who am I to not fulfill your wishes?
Like Wearing Tactical Gear To Shop At Target
At the risk of subjecting myself to the ire of our David Tracy, an honest confession needs to be made: I really don’t like Jeep Wranglers. Sure, if I was out in Moab or something maybe I’d find renting one for a few hours to be amusing, but I find these things to be among the most absurd daily drivers ever to be offered to the public. I was once offered one as an “upgrade” at Enterprise and refused since I would be driving over five hours. “Yeah,” laughed the counter guy, “don’t do that.”
Wranglers certainly look good, and I would assume that much of the popularity must be about this appearance since the driving dynamics on the street could be surpassed by, well, almost anything else the owners could stick their dashboard rubber ducks on.
The Mercedes G-Wagen is in a bit of the same situation, just at a more stratospheric price point. There’s not really any justification for driving something designed to emulate the civilian version of a military vehicle released in 1979. To be honest, it wasn’t advanced looking when it was introduced nearly fifty years ago, and it slavishly kept that look when totally redesigned for 2018. The G-Wagen exists today primarily as a “lifestyle” object that broadcasts your status to the world, or perceived status to those who pick up ancient examples at Buy Here Pay Here lots.
I can’t deny the cool factor, or the fact that it’s possibly the last Mercedes product that adheres to the old Benz axiom of making the best cost-no-object we-don’t-care-if-you-hate-it product regardless of focus groups and marketing departments. I really miss the old “this is what you get and this is what you will pay” Mercedes-Benz of the eighties that would kick the likes of a twentysomething me out of a showroom. That just made me want to buy one even more.
Which brings us back to the idea of a luxury Bronco. At least in versions without the absurdly wide knobby tires, the Ford competitor to the Wrangler arguably provides a better on-road driving experience. And off pavement, the Bronco can still keep pace with the World War II-style Jeep, a rather moot point when you understand that’s a capability that the vast majority of owners will never even come close to utilizing.
Once again, I’ve already made this clear, and you don’t care. You want your Bronco G-Wagen, and I can absolutely make that happen.
Looking Like The Real G
The many, many Photoshop comps of possibly Lincoln Broncos I’ve seen simply put a Lincoln face onto the existing Ford. These rather lazy attempts don’t go far enough to make this luxury SUV justifiable. First, if the goal is to copy the G-Wagen, then that’s precisely what we need to do; not an Ineos Grenadier facsimile but something close enough that the kind of buyer we’re trying to lure will undeniably see the connection. Let’s get started on what I’ll call the Lincoln Namib, named for the African desert.
First, the option of a removable roof will go away; a boxy fixed steel top with limited tumblehome (tapering in of the side windows) would be on all models. Squared-off wheel arches subconsciously evoke cars like the G-Wagen and Land Rover Discovery, and frame out chubby but not-too-chubby tires to keep noise levels down. A big Lincoln grille would be framed by a lot of body-colored surface and flows into the hood with a raised bump over the engine. You’ll also note that there’s a recessed area that follows around the car below the beltline that locates the taillights/rear side markers, door handles, and terminates into the headlamps. Here’s an animation between the Lincoln and the 60th Anniversary Edition of the latest Bronco:
I did add some black trim between the side windows on the B and C pillars to help distinguish the Lincoln from the likes of Wranglers and G-Wagens. Besides, it cleans up the look, just like the greyed-out rocker panels (which might be an option for those that insist on all-body-color flanks).
In the back, the Bronco’s lift-up glass over the side-opening tailgate will give way to a single-piece door as on the G-Wagen. Remember, there’s no need to split it since that roof is never coming off. I’ve taken off the Bronco’s “snorkel” third brake light since it won’t be needed with a fixed roof. Also note the rear door handle in the taillight “heckblende” area that I painted a matching red.
Once again, an animation of the Bronco with the new Lincoln version. I kept the wheels essentially the same since a.) I liked them and b.) changing up the wheels is an easy way to make the thing look different, and I wanted to prove that I wasn’t cheating:
It sort of looks Mitsubishi Montero-like in some ways, which isn’t exactly a bad thing. I think almost anyone would see that it’s G-Wagen ripoff, but there’s enough unique personality for the Lincoln Namib to stand on its own.
Where The Magic Happens
Inside, the Bronco’s not badly outfitted for a Jeep Wrangler competitor with a bit more car-like feel inside, but for the Lincoln Namib, we’ll need to trick it out much more with fine leathers and brushed steel.
At least for upper-level models, I propose big, tufty seats including separate rear thrones that could adjust a multitude of ways. A center console could provide storage (even cooling for beverages) as well as climate and seat heating/cooling/massage control from a touch screen. You’ll also notice individual video screens on the front seat backs.
A bench seat in back could be offered, and like the Bronco, the rear seats can fold flat to allow you to carry larger cargo. There’s the same sized cargo hold behind the second row as on the Bronco, of course, but carpeted instead of with rubber mats. Remember, it’s far less likely that it will contain climbing gear and beer coolers than it will scones for the Junior League’s Downton Abbey-themed party or other “ladies that lunch” crap. Yeah, I know, but that’s who’s gonna be driving this thing.
Bragging Rights, Not Drag Racing Fights
Almost any of the Bronco’s engines would have ample enough power to motivate the Lincoln Namib. Certainly, the 418-horsepower, 3-liter EcoBoost V6 would be plenty, but with this type of vehicle, the logic of “plenty is enough” is out the window. The top G-Wagen has a V8 under the hood pumping out 585 horses, and there’s no way such a call to arms could be avoided by the Lincoln upstart.
Honestly, it wouldn’t be tough to provide a similar level of power with Ford V8s. It turns out that such motors will fit into the latest Bronco’s engine compartment as well if not better than that EcoBoost V6. A number of conversion companies offer kits to do it, including one called RTR Vehicles that puts the 7.3-liter Godzilla under your Bronco’s hood. Producing 430 horsepower, it’s down from the top G-Wagen mill but no doubt some massaging could improve those figures.
Like I said, though, it’s less about the actual power than the ability to say your luxury ute has at least eight cylinders under the hood. Ford could certainly do that with the Lincoln Namib, and for a fraction of the money that Mercedes needs for their AMG motor.
It’s Still Stupid, But I Get It
I hope the end result of this exercise is the extra-premium, off-road-ready Lincoln SUV the Maverick-deniers hoped for. I still stand by my earlier opinion that a boxy, over-engined, balloon-tire’d military vehicle makes about as much sense for the typical suburban owner as, well, I can’t think of a sillier metaphor than taking a locking-diff G-Wagen to Whole Foods. Still, this site is all about the absurd, and a Lincoln Bronco is actually a little less insane than some of the things I’ve seen here – many of which I’ve drawn up myself. The more I worked on this fancy Bronco, the more I actually wanted one. Even at my estimated MSRP of around $115,000 with all the stuff on the one I’ve shown, you’d be undercutting the G-Wagen’s price by tens of thousands and getting a rather close facsimile.
Top graphic base image: Ford
This understands who the buyer would be WAY more than the previous attempt.
Turn up the ludicrous a bit more, and it’ll stand a much better chance of being the next new ’98 Navigator. Which is a reason why I’m sure Lincoln hasn’t been super successful … they just aren’t taking risks.
I don’t know if this would be profitable but they should do it anyway.
There is no way that this would fail to sell well. I would simply paint and bolt the existing Bronco top on permanently rather than engineer a new structure, avoiding the cost of a bunch of new tooling and testing.
I think they might be worried that they’d mostly poach the worst of their own Navigator customers.
Only $115k??!!!
What am I, Poor? It’s insulting that you think I would drive something that cheap. Mommy didn’t leave me a trust fund so that I could just act poor. She taught me better!
At $115k, isn’t that the kind of thing that homeless people sleep in? Or maybe my gardener, or public school teachers drive $115k Fords, right? I don’t know, but exactly how are people supposed to know how much better I am than them, if my vehicle is an, ugh “bargain” at only $115k?
/Definitely not actually me.
people buy G wagons for the status and not the actual capability. that being said if they made it hard top only and it came with the 5.0 or 7.3 Godzilla i could see it POTENTIALLY selling decent.
As long as they stick the Coyote under the hood, I think this’ll be a hot seller.
if they want g wagon money it should have the 7.3 Godzilla engine.
Diesel Lincoln sounds even better actually
This, mainly because I bet it would fit in the engine bay easier than the coyote would. But lack of DI would mean a more difficult path to forced induction.
You’re completely right that the Maverick based model is more logical and exactly what buyers actually need. Unfortunately these buyers aren’t interested in what they need, and a Bronco base gives the cred to challenge the G-wagen on its own turf, so much as I hate it too this is the one that would be more likely to fly off dealer lots. But even that is not a guarantee cause many rich Americans that like to buy US brands still like to pretend they are blue collar and stick to “lower” brands (see King Ranch etc…).
” I really miss the old “this is what you get and this is what you will pay” Mercedes-Benz of the eighties that would kick the likes of a twentysomething me out of a showroom. That just made me want to buy one even more.”
Yeah, uh well I’m going to build my own theme park! With blackjack! And hookers!
In fact forget the park!
“Sort of looks like” It absolutely looks like a Montero!
Comments from the Slack:
Jason: This should prove once and for all that I’m not you.
David: Seriously, even the new Wranglers are almost this soft…
Adrian: As long as they don’t try to sell them anywhere bloody near me.
Beau: Says nothing before publication, refers back a week later saying he already has ten pre-orders.
Have you been sneaking into Slack? No, really, have you?
It was a wild guess. Except the pre-orders. That was informed by the knowledge that Hollywood’s been in an industry-specific recession since people came out of Covid lockdown. Otherwise he’d have 20 preorders.
Unless there’s a military/industrial version of the Lincoln, it’ll never be backstopped by that consistent volume in the background to keep it going.
Ok, I’m going to have to ask you to explain that statement…. MB sold 49,000 G-Wagons last year – the best year ever. Of those, only about 5% were to military of government buyers. Ford sold 146,000 Broncos and it was one of their most profitable platforms. The Bronco -is- the back stop for the Lincoln version…
Ah, yes, that’s how the Lincoln LT is able to continue going strong, because the F150 backstopped it.
I was trying to actually understand what you meant, but hey at least I got sarcasm and a bad strawman argument in return for my interest.
It was all sarcasm.
You’re right, Military procurement of the Gwagen is unlikely to contribute meaningfully to volumes.
Being made at Magna Steyr, intentionally at low volumes from the start, indicates that it was never destined to be a volume vehicle. While the government orders do give it a backbone of minimum volumes, you’re right, it’s not enough to really matter – it’s the high profit margins that do it.
By using the Bronco, I’d argue Ford would risk any opportunity of brand cachet. But, then, the Escalade is just a Chevy at the end of the day, so what do I know.
They also really mis-named it. They should have called it the Lincoln Town Truck. It would have sold at least twice as many.
Fun exercise and I love the graphics, but this would be a Lexus GX competitor. Lincoln doesn’t have the reputation it would need to command anywhere near six figures for something without “Navigator” on the tailgate.
Incidentally, I think “Navigator” has far more brand recognition and desire than “Lincoln”. Lexus is the opposite. Lexus, not coincidentally, sells 3x what Lincoln does. Not sure how to fix that, Lincoln’s models are well-styled and eye catching on the road but they’re not resonating somehow.
By God, he’s done it.
Lincoln can’t open their own lunchbox, no worries to Mercedes.
That is a really, really, ridiculously good-looking car. Ford should copy your homework and then when they depreciate, I will benefit! Keep the EcoBoost options, but bravo for adding the V8 logo! As long as we are making stupid wish lists, make the whole thing aluminum to keep weight somewhat lower. I like big boxy SUVs especially as a second vehicle and I think something Bronco sized would be perfect for camping and home store runs, but I also really like nice quiet vehicles…
thanks!
Most of the Bronco body is aluminum already. People always slam the doors, expecting them to be heavier. Of course as a body on farm platform, the frame is steel.
This is actually a good idea.
Also, too bad they don’t make an Expedition Raptor. The Expedition is just an F150 wagon, so why not? 😛
That Expedition Raptor could also be a Navigator Black Label
They make the Everest mid-sized Ranger-based SUV for Australia, IE a direct 4Runner competitor, but they won’t even make a Raptor version of that.
I do get the decision not to make the Expedition into a Raptor, the Expedition has an independent rear axle, so making it into a Raptor is kind of non-viable. It would either be a pale imitation or cost WAY too much to engineer. Either way it’s off the table. Ford has so far done a frankly incredible job of making anything with a Raptor badge into a real monster, which for the brand that decided the Mustang would make a good 4-door BEV SUV, is hard to believe. I won’t be the one to tell them to water the Raptor sub-brand down, there’s already a plague of that behavior in the industry (looking at you, BMW M).
I’m not the target customer for your Lincoln Namib, but you completely nailed it. That looks better than 95% or more of the cars Lincoln makes. Definitely a production-ready design.
lol i saw a lincoln blackwood go by on the highway just the other day and just watched in awe of what i was seeing like it was a helicopter passing overhead. havent seen one of those in years.
I like the Blackwood more than I should
Someone dailies a Blackwood near me, I see them often but I never knew how rare they were until I read the Autopian.
Gonna need portal axles, full lockers all around and no way in hell I’m trusting the shifting of the gears to something they call “an automatic”… I want luxury AND articulation dammit!