Home » ’They Were All In The Bathroom,” How An Epic Diarrhea Storm Ended This Year’s Saab Owners Convention

’They Were All In The Bathroom,” How An Epic Diarrhea Storm Ended This Year’s Saab Owners Convention

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Every year for the past 42 years, the Saab Club of North America has gathered to celebrate all things Saab. This year’s owners’ convention was supposed to be no different. Hundreds of cars traveled thousands of miles—sometimes crossing international borders—to be at this year’s venue, a Sheraton hotel in Parsippany, New Jersey. In all, over 800 people are estimated to have attended.

The four-day festival, which took place July 16-20, seemed to go off without a hitch. On the first day, drivers took their cars to Pocono Raceway for a Saab-only HPDE event. Then on Thursday, owners convoyed to Liberty Park, New Jersey to hop on a ferry to Ellis Island for some sightseeing. On Friday and Saturday, the Saab faithful got down to business, buying and selling rare parts through vendors and attending “SAABinars,” where experts coached curious minds on the ins and outs of various repairs and upgrades. Sounds like a place where I’d thrive, and I don’t even own a Saab.

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It was only on Sunday morning, when organizers began packing things up, that anyone noticed something wrong. Shelly Baxter, president of the Saab Club of North America, told The Autopian, “On Sunday, [there were] a lot of young [adults] coming up going, ‘Shelly, I don’t feel good. And my response was, ‘Did you drink enough water in between the alcohol? How late did you stay up? Did you eat enough food?'” 

Saab Autoopian Racer Large
Photo Courtesy Of Jim Motavelli

There was a good reason to ask these questions. The night before was the awards banquet, a three-and-a-half-hour-long food-and-drink party where awards had been handed out. Baxter simply assumed some of the younger crowd continued to party into the night and was feeling the after-effects. Except there was something far more sinister afoot.

“The heat was pretty bad, so I played mama bear, not realizing they’re genuinely sick. By about the fifth kid that came up to me, I realized we had a problem. By about the 20th person that reached out to me, I realized we had a real problem. By the end of it, over 200 people had gotten sick.”

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Saab 1
Illustration: Jason Torchinsky

The Smell Must’ve Been Revolting

“Sick,” in this case, meant diarrhea. Lots of it. The scene Baxter describes sounds like something out of a horror movie (or comedy sketch, depending on your type of humor). She told The Autopian that plans to pack up the convention and head home were delayed by hours simply because no one could leave the toilet:

When we went to close down on Sunday, not a single one of my board members could be found. They were all in the bathroom.

The hotel ran out of toilet paper on Sunday in the men’s restroom.

Normally, we would have left around 1 o’clock on Sunday. We did not leave the facility until 6 o’clock, and there were tons of people that were staying overnight because they could not leave.

It was one of our best conventions in recent history, and it will forever be remembered as Poopsippany.

Baxter says several attendees missed flights and had to call out sick to work. Later that Sunday, on the way home, she and two of her employees stopped for dinner. According to her, they were too traumatized to order a normal meal.

We went and we sat down at Longhorn Steakhouse, with my young guys that worked for me. They didn’t order real food. One got a bowl of soup, and one got a hamburger—at a steak joint. I was like, ‘What the heck?’ He was like, ‘I’m terrified.’

Saab 2
Illustration: Jason Torchinsky

So What Exactly Happened Here?

Let’s get this straight: I’m no medical expert. But I know when a bunch of people get similarly ill while doing the same things in the same area, it’s usually because some sort of outbreak has occurred. Thankfully, the Parsippany Health Department and the New Jersey Department of Health have already done the heavy lifting.

Saab Healthreport (1)
Email: SCNA

They’ve been on this case since the incident occurred, going as far as to work with Baxter to send a survey to all 591 pre-registered attendees. If you were on this list, you received the following email:

Hello SCNA,

I never expected to send an email like this to all of you. The health and safety of our members is our priority. We are cooperating with a health investigation into the unforeseen, unfortunate illness that occurred at the Parsippany Sheraton during SOC42.

You may have received an email from the New Jersey Department of Health asking for information. It is up to you if you want to share. Many of those who attended have not received an email so I’m sharing the link below.

The best way to ensure everyone who attended has access to the link is to reach you here. If you did not attend SOC42 you are not being asked to do anything. If you attended (with symptoms or not) please share your information.

Sharing your information will help the investigation. As we find out more facts we will let you all know. This was a part we did not anticipate. We appreciate all the heartfelt thank-you notes, the memes, but our only concern at the moment is the health of our members.

Keep on Saabin – Shelly

And here’s what the health department found out:

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Of the 306 individuals who responded, 152 reported illness. Most of the illnesses were diarrheal and typically lasted days. There were no reported hospitalizations.

Testing revealed Clostridium perfringens bacteria collected from one attendee. It is likely that this bacteria was the cause of the outbreak. Clostridium perfringens bacteria are a common cause of food poisoning in the United States and most often associated with foods cooked in large batches held at unsafe temperatures. No subsequent illnesses tied to any other events held at the hotel have been reported to date.

There you have it. Going by the department’s findings and the timing of everyone’s extended bathroom breaks, it’s likely the contamination occurred around the time of the awards banquet. It’s also worth pointing out that more people likely got sick than the department reports, since about 200 more people showed up on top of those that were pre-registered, according to Baxter.

Saab Autopian 95 Wagon Large
Photo Courtesy Of Jim Motavelli

Who’s At Fault For This Literal Shitstorm?

In my conversation with Baxter, she avoided blaming the Sheraton in Parsippany for the outbreak, despite also revealing that every group meal consumed during the convention was served by the hotel. She mentioned that the Sheraton told her representative that the hotel was absolved of any wrongdoing by both the local and state health departments. I’ve reached out to both departments for confirmation.

Despite that decision, Baxter is still fighting the hotel for compensation on behalf of the club and its affected members. She’s retained legal representation and hopes something can be resolved that makes up for what happened. “We’ve gotten other people involved to try to help us make it right with our members. That’s my goal,” she says.

A spokesperson for the Sheraton / Marriott hotel group did not immediately respond when reached for comment via email. When I called the hotel itself, a representative told me the general manager was “out for the day,” and declined to comment on the incident.

Saab 3
Illustration: Jason Torchinsky

A Common Love for Saabs Saves the Day

As Baxter mentioned, the diarrhea-induced delays set off a cascade of scheduling issues for members. But instead of making a big stink of things (sorry), attendees made the best of the situation, sharing jokes and helping out fellow members in need. While on the phone with me, she recounted a selection of clever messages sent from members while they were fighting for their lives on the toilet:

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Hello Shelly, you always do a great job. Unfortunately, the toilet paper didn’t.

I’m sorry you had to deal with this shitty situation at the Sheraton—SSS instead of SOS.

I can’t leave, and my wife’s expecting me home in two hours, and I can’t get up. If I try to stand up, I’m just going to have to sit right back down!

On a more serious note, Baxter told me about one younger member who missed his flight back home over the enshitification of the night, and couldn’t afford to rebook. But because Saab people are so nice, another member swooped in and laid down the cash.

He had scraped together every dime he had to be able to show up at the convention. So somebody had to step in to help him—another Saab owner. So somebody paid for his hotel room and bought him plane tickets home, because he missed his plane.

Baxter hopes to reimburse that heroic Saab enthusiast after things are settled with the hotel. She also hopes this toilet-filled debacle won’t leave a lasting stain (sorry, again) on the Club’s reputation going forward.

“To have our national convention end on such a sad note—I hope that’s not what we’re remembered for,” Baxter told me. “I think I would like for people to remember all the good stuff, you know?”

Lead Illustration: Jason Torchinsky

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Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
18 hours ago

It seems ironic that you only used four full colons in a write-up about a diarrhea outbreak.

Paul E
Paul E
16 hours ago
Reply to  Canopysaurus

There should have been at least 152 of them in this story.

AssMatt
AssMatt
18 hours ago

But what was the meal? WHAT WAS THE MEAL?!

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
18 hours ago
Reply to  AssMatt

Squaab.

3WiperB
3WiperB
17 hours ago
Reply to  AssMatt

Choice of fish or chicken. Hope you didn’t have the fish.

Mr E
Mr E
16 hours ago
Reply to  3WiperB

Assume crash crap position!

UnseenCat
UnseenCat
16 hours ago
Reply to  3WiperB

Yes, I remember. I had the lasagna.

RecoveringGTV6MaratonaOwner
RecoveringGTV6MaratonaOwner
10 hours ago
Reply to  UnseenCat

Shared that movie with my college aged nephew last night and he laughed his ass off. It still holds up but may ruffle a few younger feathers, like Blazing Saddles.

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
16 hours ago
Reply to  AssMatt

Wheelbarrow Shrimp

Andrea Petersen
Andrea Petersen
16 hours ago

Psh, we all know wheelbarrow shrimp are the absolute highest quality and safest seafood available!

Cerberus
Cerberus
12 hours ago
Reply to  AssMatt

They were betrayed by calzones.

Matt Gasper
Matt Gasper
18 hours ago

I hope next year The Autopian is there to cover the actual event.

Wordguy
Wordguy
16 hours ago
Reply to  Matt Gasper

And handing out bootleg “Bowl Patrol” rolls of toilet paper

Phuzz
Phuzz
3 hours ago
Reply to  Wordguy

How about Jalopnik branded loo roll 😉

Gaston
Gaston
1 hour ago
Reply to  Matt Gasper

True! I was there and there was no one who knew about The Autopian when I brought it up.

One of the coolest things that should be covered here is the Canonball record was recently broken by a crew in Saab 9-5 Aero – round trip!

The other cool story is about a 17 year old who completely rebuilt a Saab 900 himself with his dad’s help after IT CAUGHT ON FIRE!

BTW did not get sick so there must have been one specific food or batch of food that caused this. And I have to say that the food was some of the best conference food I’ve ever had.

Tbird
Tbird
18 hours ago

I’ll blame the shower spaghetti…

Huja Shaw
Huja Shaw
18 hours ago

Still less shitty than Saab’s GM era.

Peter d
Peter d
17 hours ago
Reply to  Huja Shaw

The GM 9-3 was a great car, if a bit less Saabish than the legacy cars.

Gaston
Gaston
1 hour ago
Reply to  Peter d

I love my 9-3 convertible!

Hangover Grenade
Hangover Grenade
19 hours ago

A similar thing happened to me and my entire 5th grade class.

We had a D.A.R.E. graduation banquet (I’m dating myself) at a local hotel event space. 95% of the attendees and their parents got food poisoning. The next day there were like five 5th graders in class.

Icouldntfindaclevername
Icouldntfindaclevername
19 hours ago

Wow, what a SAAB story

3WiperB
3WiperB
19 hours ago

Is Netflix going to turn this one into a documentary too? Saabwreck: Poop Convention?

M SV
M SV
19 hours ago

Safe to say the saabs will be at the Hilton next year. So much for alliteration. But better then a shitty Saab story at the Sheridan

Mechanical Pig
Mechanical Pig
19 hours ago

I’m not sure how the hotel was “cleared of all responsibility” after 200 people got food poisoning simultaneously after attending a banquet dinner there.

Since the hotel GM was mysteriously unavailable to comment, here’s the jist of what would have been said:
“While we take the health and safety of our guests very seriously, we investigated ourselves and found ourselves to have done nothing wrong. Large batches of food at incorrect temperatures? What large batches? I don’t see any large batches of food. I’m not even sure we serve food. Definitely not in large batches. Are they sure they ate it here? That must have been a third party caterer. Anyway, it definitely wasn’t our fault. No further questions.”

1978fiatspyderfan
1978fiatspyderfan
16 hours ago
Reply to  Mechanical Pig

What was not mentioned was the hotel GM was unavailable because he was pooping his guts out. He decided to sample the food

Rippstik
Rippstik
19 hours ago

When you’re shifting into first and you hear something burst

diarrhea
diarrhea

Rob Stercraw
Rob Stercraw
19 hours ago
Reply to  Rippstik

When you’re in your 99 and your guts arent feeling fine
diarrhea
diarrhea

(lol – I was literally just typing this when I saw the notification of your post)

Hangover Grenade
Hangover Grenade
18 hours ago
Reply to  Rob Stercraw

When your driving in your Sonnett and you feel some trouser droppings…

Rob Stercraw
Rob Stercraw
18 hours ago

When you’re showin off your Viggen and you can’t hold back the biggun
diarrhea
diarrhea

Toecutter
Toecutter
15 hours ago
Reply to  Rob Stercraw

I’m sure rootwyrm could relate.

Autonerdery
Autonerdery
18 hours ago
Reply to  Rippstik

Saab version: When you’re popping out of third and you smell a great big turd…

PlugInPA
PlugInPA
16 hours ago
Reply to  Rippstik

When you’re swapping old Saab parts and you’re overcome by farts

Toecutter
Toecutter
15 hours ago
Reply to  Rippstik

I remember driving to college in a manual transmission Suzuki Sidekick with a turtle’s head aggressively trying to poke out. Every time I hit the clutch to shift was one of those moments where I didn’t think I’d contain a massive mess. Luckily, I made it to a proper toilet cubicle before disaster, but only barely, and the cleaning lady was awkwardly standing outside the Mens’ room waiting for me to finish after I ended up clogging the toilet.

Moral of the story? Shit happens.

SAABstory
SAABstory
19 hours ago

Now I’m glad I didn’t take my Saab up there.

Ditto on the pics, well done Torch.

Hey Bim!
Hey Bim!
19 hours ago

Jason, thanks for the great drawings that rounded out the story nicely!

DialMforMiata
DialMforMiata
19 hours ago
Reply to  Hey Bim!

Torch was obviously, umm, moved by this story.

Ramblin' Gamblin' Man
Ramblin' Gamblin' Man
19 hours ago

SAAB Turdblo ? 😉

Paul E
Paul E
19 hours ago

It was a great Saab owner’s convention, for sure. I was at the Saturday banquet; thankfully I was one of the lucky ones who did not experience any distress on the 1000-mile drive back home on Sunday/Monday. Had this been “Airplane”, I didn’t eat the fish…

Tbird
Tbird
18 hours ago
Reply to  Paul E

Surely you can’t be serious.

Paul E
Paul E
18 hours ago
Reply to  Tbird

Don’t call me Shirley.

The NSX Was Only in Development for 4 Years
The NSX Was Only in Development for 4 Years
19 hours ago

I’m not sure how but I blame GM.

JurassicComanche25
JurassicComanche25
19 hours ago

If youre having gut problems, i feel bad for you son. Ive got 99 toilets, and paper in none.

Paul E
Paul E
19 hours ago

Some of those present ended up with Saab 99 toilets.

Hiram McDaniel
Hiram McDaniel
19 hours ago

Saab people are the absolute best of the car world, they did not deserve this. This should have happened at a CyberTruck owners convention

JJ
JJ
12 hours ago
Reply to  Hiram McDaniel

That’d be catered by the Liver King.

The Pigeon
The Pigeon
2 hours ago
Reply to  Hiram McDaniel

Does ketamine give you the runs?

TK-421
TK-421
19 hours ago

I’m wondering if the photo of the rusty brown flipped-up hood was on purpose?

Rob Stercraw
Rob Stercraw
19 hours ago

Straining Absolutely All Bowels

DialMforMiata
DialMforMiata
19 hours ago
Reply to  Rob Stercraw

Shit An Absolute Bucket.

Rob Stercraw
Rob Stercraw
19 hours ago
Reply to  DialMforMiata

Sudden Acquired Anal Blowout

Last edited 19 hours ago by Rob Stercraw
StillNotATony
StillNotATony
19 hours ago
Reply to  Rob Stercraw

Splatter Any and All Bowls.

DialMforMiata
DialMforMiata
19 hours ago

Blame this guy.

A. Barth
A. Barth
19 hours ago

Sounds like they didn’t have enough ice in the shrimp wheelbarrow.

Hiram McDaniel
Hiram McDaniel
19 hours ago
Reply to  A. Barth

rookie mistake

Eggsalad
Eggsalad
19 hours ago

I *told* them to skip the lutefisk!

Oberkanone
Oberkanone
19 hours ago
Reply to  Eggsalad

Nope.
Lutefisk has pH of around 11. Pathogens no.
It’s dried then soaked in lye.

The Pigeon
The Pigeon
2 hours ago
Reply to  Eggsalad

it was the surströmming

Sid Bridge
Sid Bridge
20 hours ago

Maybe they should reconsider any plans for a get-together to cruise the Oregon Trail.

Rob Stercraw
Rob Stercraw
19 hours ago
Reply to  Sid Bridge

*caulks 99 to ford river*

Mike Harrell
Mike Harrell
17 hours ago
Reply to  Rob Stercraw

Fording requires a 95, 96, or 97 with a V4.

Paul E
Paul E
16 hours ago
Reply to  Rob Stercraw

If you ford the river in a 99, that could well be a Triumph.

Urban Runabout
Urban Runabout
20 hours ago

“… the general manager was “out for the day…”

Translation: He too had the trots.

Immodium must have been in short supply that weekend.

Last edited 20 hours ago by Urban Runabout
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