How To Make A Modern Four-Door Super Beetle Out Of A Porsche Macan

The magic of nostalgia usually doesn’t hold up for long.

My guess is that if you got into a mosh pit now, you’d enjoy it for about fifteen seconds. You’d quickly realize why you stopped doing it decades ago, even more so if you now consider getting your pants on in the morning to be a major accomplishment. We GenXers look back fondly on when those McDonald’s apple pies were deep fried, but eating one today would instantly spark your memory of the third-degree mouth burns from the magma-hot filling. I still want one though, to go with my 870-degree Pizza Hut Personal Pan.

Automotive nostalgia trips are often similarly short-lived; the original cars we create remakes of died for reasons that still exist today. The first and much glorified two-seater-but-not-a-sports-car Ford Thunderbird only lasted from 1955 to 57 due to poor sales, so it’s not surprising that the 2002 revival didn’t have a lot of takers. The Camaro’s relative lack of practicality compared to a sedan or SUV killed the fourth-generation car, and probably helped seal the reboot’s fate as well. Volkswagen’s reborn Beetle had a good two-decade run but eventually ran its course; I think it happened for many of the same reasons that did in the original Bug.

Could we change that often-witnessed cycle of failed nostalgic recreations? What if we did yet another generation of Beetle that tried to correct those wrongs of the previous versions, yet capitalized on what made it hot?

Herbie Goes To Chicos

If I say “Volkswagen” to you, what’s the first image that comes to mind? To many, it’s a Beetle; either the original or the revivals from the last quarter century.

For younger buyers, I’m not really sure. I wouldn’t go so far as to claim that Volkswagen has lost its way, but to me, something has certainly changed. As a kid, the brand was synonymous with our Squareback or Karmann Ghias and Kubelwagen “Things;” later it was Sciroccos or Rabbit Cabrios. Today, I’m sort of hard pressed to tell a current Jetta or one of their SUVs from a Japanese car; at least VW is planning on giving its electric cars real names in the future instead of that silly “ID” moniker.

Hopefully, they’ll rechristen the poorly named “ID Buzz” to “Bus” like everyone calls it now. That’s one bright spot in the line of cars from a brand that has so much valuable heritage to delve into. A modernized Type 2 Bus, the Buzz gives buyers the eco-friendly transporter that flower-power buyers of the glacially slow, climate-control-free original Bus could only dream of. Unfortunately, with a surprisingly limited range, only six legal seats, and price that (at least to me) puts it on the same level as low-mileage used Porsche Taycan wagons, the ID Buzz has been a bit of a disappointment. Most were thinking that it would have been as big a hit as their New Beetle was when it appeared in 1997.

The New Beetle: talk about a runaway success. Jason has already recanted how the launch of the New Beetle was truly an O.J. chase-caliber touchstone to many people of a certain age. A retro version of an iconic machine was a revelation in a world before PT Cruisers and such had saturated the market. The New Beetle was such a smash success that it was almost its worst enemy. Like the music of ABBA, it was perfectly crafted and appealing but so sugary sweet that backlash was inevitable.

The New Beetle even made it far enough to spawn a redesigned “A5” model for 2012. With a flattened-out roof, lower profile body, and a slightly more aggressive and less “cute” look, it moved the design forward. But, as evidenced by the current Mustangs, you ultimately get stuck in a loop when modernizing retro.

Honestly, everyone who wanted a New Beetle had already purchased one at that point, and there was nowhere else to go with it.

… But there was always another way the Beetle could have gone, but didn’t. Let’s explore how we might bust the old Beetle conundrum.

Back Doors! What A Novel Idea!

While some of the products of the retro-car boom of the early 2000s were flashes in the pan, some did stand the test of time. How’d they do it? They expanded.

That’s right. Throwback cars like the Mini and Fiat 500 didn’t rest on their laurels, and instead continue in the same body style for decades on end. BMW’s Mini started with a two-door hatch but soon branched out into “Clubman” shooting brake models, chopped-roof aggressive sports editions, four-door versions, and eventually even the Countryman SUV crossover variant. Purists will scoff at these no-longer-really-mini Minis, but the brand would have died had they not adapted.

We did get a new Beetle convertible, but the revived car did not evolve beyond a pair of doors. Practically speaking, the arch-shaped roof also limited interior cargo and passenger space in back, particularly when compared to the car that the Beetle got its mechanicals from: the Golf. We’ve all seen the commercials for how big objects could be carried in boxy three- and five-door versions of Volkswagen’s almost equally iconic subcompact: the Golf/Rabbit.

Honestly, the versatility of the first Golf is one of many things that put paid to the original Beetle in period. This was hardly something that Volkswagen was unaware of, even years before the Golf’s 1974 debut. Jason once delved into proof that VW had explored making their bread-and-butter car grow an extra set of doors.

Obviously, that didn’t happen; a four-door air-cooled Wolfsburg product only appeared in the form of the ill-fated and poorly selling Type 4 of 1968. Named the 411, critics said that the numeric title meant “four door, eleven years too late”.

Ah, but it’s more than lack of doors that hurt that revived Beetle. The “cute” aspect of the Bug most associate with it ignores what was for many the true appeal of the car. As kids, you might have hated riding around in these hot, noisy little things, but dads sure liked driving them. There’s a reason for that.

Porsche Before Quadrosonic Blaupunkt

Today, a new Volkswagen will typically be an SUV barely decipherable from a Toyota, and a rear-engined Porsche is a massive two-and-a-half-ton thing for orthodontists to drive to their practices. If you get your dad started, he’ll tell you that wasn’t the case before the 911 appeared in 1964. Back then, Porsche’s 365 was certainly lower and faster than a lowly Beetle, but not by as much as you’d think. Mechanically, both cars were extremely similar, and the VW gave you much the same essence of that Porsche, with nearly identical sounds or smells, and exactly the same kind of driving feel.

You’d never confuse the two, and one certainly didn’t diminish or add value to the other, yet enthusiasts could get similar oversteering thrills from the lowly Beetle at speeds the cops might not even notice. So THAT’S why your dad got the Squareback instead of buying that Malibu with working air conditioning.

This cross-pollination between Stuttgart and Wolfsburg went on for years. Even as late as 1976, Porsche offered a Volkswagen-powered “full-sized” coupe with the 912E. Made just one year for America, it was a 911 with a larger version of the flat four from that unloved Type 4 Volkswagen 412. Despite the seemingly lowly origins, Porsche had no difficulty asking fifty percent more than the price of a concurrent 1976 Corvette Stingray for a car with a bored-and-stroked example of an engine also used in the same-year VW Bus. Even recently, this clean-but-not-concours example brought in an astonishing $67,000 despite the mere 86 horsepower on tap:

So if it wasn’t taboo for VW and Porsche to share back then any more than it is to put the Lamborghini name on a Volkswagen SUV platform vehicle today, can’t we try some more?

Beetle Grande

If the New Beetle and its A5 successor both tried to emulate the original Beetle, I think I want to push the timeline a bit further along to the last days of the Type 1. I’d like to make a tribute to the model that many if not most of us GenXers rode around in: the Super Beetle.

It sure looks pretty much the same, but the 1971 Super Beetle was essentially all-new from the (sort of) firewall forward with MacPherson strut front suspension for a far better driving experience and ride, plus nearly double the frunk space (admittedly the bar was pretty low). A compound curved windshield added for 1973 must have made serial Beetle purchasers hyperventilate when they saw this Super Beetle on the showroom floor.  You can’t imagine how hedonistic those seats and that actual plastic dashboard with integrated switches and even side demister vents looked to the average Bug Person; some never got their heads around it.

I know, I know, but remember that we were dealing with people who were used to the car interior in the image below (I know, the US market one had a plastic “safety” surround, but it was still as flat and featureless as I-80 west of Moline):

Look at this very late Super Beetle dash below. Fake woodgrain inserts and even an electric clock? That’s like serving a traditional old Beetle owner their typical granola (without raisins) in a silver goblet, I tell you.

That’s a massive upgrade in the old Vee Dub that many have forgotten about. Nearly thirty years after the 1998 New Beetle proceeded to regurgitate the original for a few decades, it’s time to move the retro timeline ahead a bit. The question is, where do we start for our new Super Beetle?

Remember “Hot VW & Porsche” Magazine? This Is For You

For some reason, a few days ago an image of the new EV version of Porsche’s Macan small SUV came onto my screen, and I was instantly and inexplicably stunned at how Beetle-like it looked. Honestly, if it just became a shadow silhouette, you’d find the resemblance uncanny. Serial Bug owner Jason Torchinsky sort of humored me, but I could tell that he wasn’t buying it. Somehow, I had to explore this a little further to see for myself.

But why? Actually, the answer should be “why not?” We’ve known for nearly eighty years that the Bug has been held back by its door deficiency, so it’s high time we see what correcting that will do. If we were to make that elusive four-door Beetle, it would likely need to be about a foot or more longer than the last Golf-based “new” example from 2019. Surprise, surprise, but that’s exactly the length of the new electric Macan that’s built on the VW PPE (Premium Platform Electric). Behold, here’s the new Super Beetle:

Throwback color choices like the robin’s egg Marina blue of our old Squareback would make up the palette, including other funk-era shades like Bright Orange, Saturn yellow, and Sumatra green.

An animation here shows the surprisingly simple changes; I didn’t even touch the greenhouse:

Twin “exhaust pipes” are mandatory for Beetle-like appearance, even though an EV needs them as much as an original Bug needed a radiator. Maybe they hide rear fog lights or they’re multiplex radio antenna. I really don’t know, but it’s gotta have them. Elephant Foot taillights and an embossed shape on the hatch mimicking the OG Beetle engine lid complete the look. It’s a bit Saab-like with those little rear quarter windows, but Jason made that same comparison to the four-door concept from half a century ago.

If you think I changed everything, take a look at the animation: it’s surprisingly similar to the Porsche:

Beyond the typical LED accents, the current Macan EV dashboard is really about as workmanlike as that Super Beetle. Especially in black, the new Porsche is quite basic:

Again, here’s that lavish Super Beetle dash all trimmed out like it’s a real car or something:

We’ll be able to keep much of the same look. The gauge binnacle of the New Super Beetle would be smaller than the Macan to match the original VW, and we won’t offer a giant screen in front of the passenger since we know that’s a stupid idea anyway. Flower bud vases and smiley-face-eyes vents as on the 1998 New Beetle were also silliness that none of us GenXers remember in the VWs of our time anyway, so forget that. The Beetle was a driver’s machine in our minds, as Niki Lauda or Emerson Fittipaldi knew from starting their careers in stripped-down Formula V Beetle-based race cars. The cabin needs to reflect that.

We’ll put in a few throwback details like the oh-shit handle and the steering wheel with the dog-on-a-castle logo as your little sister called it. Note also the chrome door handles with the fluted square on the back as seen on countless VAG products.

Here’s another Easter egg treat for Torch-like Bug anoraks: the heated seats are controlled by yellow-topped levers on the console that recall the heater controls on original Beetles (which, for legal reasons, had a spotlight on them).

Well, they theoretically were “heater levers” on the old Bug, but the flaps they controlled were usually rusted shut and, even if they weren’t I have to agree with famed auto journalist Peter Egan who claimed that most of the heat had defected to the cold side by the time it got the front passengers. It actually makes sense for these seat heater controls to be prominent since we know that EV users often exercise heated seat use in lieu of forced-air warmth to increase battery range (or, like using the optional gas-fired supplemental heater available in Super Beetles that cut into your fuel economy).

Naturally, we’ll want to decontent the mechanicals a bit to create a sort of “PPE Entry” platform (as VW will do with their “MEB Entry” chassis for their upcoming smallest, least expensive EVs). A single rear motor would be the only power option, and the complex, standard Macan air suspension would give way to less trouble-prone steel springs. I still see this thing ripping off zero-to-sixty times that a 1975 911 Turbo could barely match, and we all know that Jason almost killed himself and his friends in Beetles with less than a quarter of the New Super Beetle’s horsepower. Race this New Super Beetle around town, and I assure you the cops will notice.

Could pricing get below $50,000 from the Macan EV’s base of around $75,000? With the lack of equipment and potential higher production volume, I think this New Super Beetle can happen at an affordable-if-not-bargain price. Let’s face it: at the other end of the spectrum, I seriously doubt that $100,000-plus “Macan Turbo” really packs an extra $40,000 worth of content, do you?

Not A Beetle, But Plays One On TV

I grew up with different air-cooled Volkswagens for about ten years of my childhood, so they bring back fond memories of Pop Rocks and Saturday mornings watching Sid and Marty Croft’s likely-narcotics-spawned television programs on our black and white Zenith. Still, whenever I see a flat-four Vee Dub at a car show, I stick my head in an open window, and that nausea-inducing smell of super-heated German waffle-texture vinyl in July makes me realize why I’d probably be happy if I never rode in one again for the rest of my days.

That’s what this New Super Beetle is all about: the styling returns you to days of seeing Star Wars in the theater but in a car that doesn’t sound like a swarm of atomic sewing machines under the back seat. Here’s a Beetle with air conditioning as cold as your buddy Dave’s parents’ Caprice wagon, and a real heater so you need not carry an ice scraper to clear the inside of the windshield in the otherwise-great-in-winter car.

Sure, the 1998 New Beetle had that, but all that stuff your dad would spout about a Volkswagen being a “cut rate Porsche”? With this New Super Beetle, it would all be true. It wouldn’t be inexpensive, but adjusted for inflation, a 1973 VW Type 4 started at nearly $5000 more than a far larger Chevy Malibu; historically, Volkswagens never were that cheap, even before dealers gouged them.

Could four doors possibly be the secret sauce to make the Beetle immortal? Maybe, but it’s far more than that. Porsche SUVs are nicely designed and highly capable family vehicles, but having driven one for the last two years, I reluctantly have to say that it isn’t a genuinely “fun” car. It’s like admitting that watching Slaw Dog win the Wiener 500 was far more amusing than watching just about any Formula 1 race. The idea of a rather goofy-looking body that hides a world-class rear-engined enthusiast machine is the true meaning of fun, as appealing today as it was to Beetle buyers over half a century ago. That’s a bit of nostalgia we can all get behind.