The Chevy Vega has a well-earned reputation for being an unmitigated, steaming pile. The car managed to rust away when still new, the engines overheated, and when they weren’t overheating, they had leaky valve stem seals and piston rings wore off cylinder coatings. Oh, and they had taillights that were liars. They were, charitably, garbage. Initially, Vegas were only sold as Chevys, but soon these “H-platform” cars were available to GM’s other marques, including Pontiac.
Pontiac, somehow, got two of them, the Astre and the Sunbird. Who did Pontiac piss off?
Initially, in 1973 and 1974, the Astre was only sold in Canadian Pontiac dealers, but American Pontiac dealers were soon blessed with these heaps in 1975, when they also got the Pontiac Sunbird, which was itself a badge-engineered variant of the also Vega-based Chevy Monza.
Really, these were actually kind of nice-looking cars, nicely proportioned and detailed. Looks weren’t really the problem with these.
I’m not really clear what the difference was supposed to be between the Astre and Sunbird; I think the Sunbird was supposed to be a bit sportier? The Astre is up there, in that parking lot with those terrible wire wheels, and as you can see it has round sealed-beam headlights and a typically split Pontiac grille made of vertical rectangular segments. Let’s look at a Sunbird now:
There it is, being laughed at by people on the damn bus, the worst possible humiliation and the likely mode of transport for that Sunbird owner in the near, grim future.
As you can see, the Sunbird had a flatter hood and front fenders, quad rectangular sealed-beam lights, a honeycomb grille pattern and other styling changes. Under the skin, it’s still a vague Vega, though, so don’t get your hopes up.
Of course, you could get a Sunbird with a vinyl roof, this one including a “formal window,” according to the caption, which is what I guess Pontiac was calling opera windows for their cars that had effectively zero chance of being seen at an opera.
Also, what the hell is going on in this picture? Did that dog walker get so excited by that Sunbird that he had to, what, look in the passenger’s seat? What’s he looking at? And what’s he wearing? Is that yellow-and-green cap and stripey-back vest some kind of dog-walker’s uniform? Those blurry dogs are kind of hard to read, but I think one is one of those narrow Afghan rich people dogs. And I do like that 1966-ish Mercedes-Benz 200 behind the Sunbird.
Look at the carmel-colored wonderland of the interior here. I remember these interiors, with their wood appliqués and fussy plastichrome trim and seats that in the summer would adhere to bare thighs with the tenacity of a lamprey on a whale. Even when near-new, everything in here felt like it was about to fall apart. And usually did.
There’s an interesting illustration/photo composite in this brochure, showing an Astre hatchback in the middle, surrounded by subscale paintings of its competition. Let’s see if we can identify them all! From left to right, it looks like we have an AMC Hornet, a Volkswagen Rabbit with a funny grille, a car I thought was captive-import Dodge/Mitsubishi Colt, but now I’m not so sure. What is that? A Datsun? Hm. I’m not certain.
On the other side, things get even weirder. That first car next to the Astre looks kinda like a..Pinto? The next car is even weirder; I swear it looks kinda like a Peugeot 504 Coupé. But that would be ridiculous. Next to that, it looks like an AMC Matador? Maybe a Chevy II? And next to that could be a Chevette or even a Ford Fiesta with a weird grille. I really can’t tell, but I’m still certain almost any of those are a better choice than the Astre.
Two! Pontiac was trying to sell two versions of this heap! I guess Chevy was doing the same thing with the Vega and Monza, but still, what a weird time. A weird, kinda delightfully crappy time!
My family had both a Vega and a Monza. I drove the Vega and my mother drove the Monza. The Monza had a small V8 and was actually fun to drive (for the time). The interior was much better than the Vega, and the whole car seemed to be more solid and was definitely quieter. The Vega was, none of those things. I’m not saying the Monza was a great car, but it was much better than the Vega.
Maybe the dogwalker works for a fancy hotel, hence the striped-back vest. But put on his favorite cap for the job.
He seems to be looking at something leaning against the windshield. But from the inside…
The Dodge/Mitsubishi Colt reminds me more of a Ford Cortina TC MK3
“There it is, being laughed at by people on the damn bus, the worst possible humiliation and the likely mode of transport for that Sunbird owner in the near, grim future.”
Because it has no screaming chicken! Everyone knows a ’70s Pontiac needs MOAR chicken on the hood! Even randos on the bus.
If ANY Pontiac should have a flaming phoenix on the hood it’s the Sunbird!
This was just GM phasing out the final Vega- Astre models as I recall.
They knew the Vega debacle was a lost cause, but they could malice their way through a couple more years until the next gen FWD compacts were introduced.
Market research had indicated that the general public was willing to take a chance on a restyled small car especially if it seemed upscale vs the Vega.
A friend of mine in high school had a baby blue 74 Astre. It was ridiculous but so very fitting for him and his nerdiness.
I purchased a new Pontiac Shitbird with the Iron Puke 2.5 litre engine and automatic 3 speed in 1977. My wife at the time had an Afghan Hound. The engine and trans were constant problems, the Weber progressive 2 bbl carb being mounted directly above the exhaust manifold was plagued with vapor lock in warm weather, and the automatic choke was useless in the cold, making starting the engine very difficult when below about 50 F. I installed a manual choke to resolve the latter issue. The torque converter was likely assembled by someone after a 3 martini lunch and made its presence audibly known after about 13 months ownership (the warranty on the car was 12 months / 12,000 miles; though the engine had a 5 year 60,000 mile warranty touted by Pontiac, if I recall correctly). Luckily the issue was loose bolts which were easily accessed by removal of an external panel on the trans. Within 2 years the front end began to squeak horribly, you could hear me coming from several blocks away. The trans finally failed after 4 years, and I replaced it with a 4 speed manual, and added a clutch, pressure plate, and bell housing I purchased from a junkyard for $75. The Afghan Hound ruined the interior of the car with slobber and fur, but at least that made it consistent with the rest of the car. I recall the car cost me around $3500 when new. I traded it in 1985 for a 1982 VW Rabbit diesel. I was allowed $750 for the trade in. I have purchased other GM vehicles and VW, Honda and Audi products in the years since. I’ll stay away from the GM vehicles as they have all come with many more issues than the others. Still, I would purchase a C8 Corvette if I could convince myself to part with the $.
Its funny how the passage of time changes your opinion of things. My first car was a 72 Vega. I got it on my 16th birthday. Passed down from my sister, who got it from my uncle it was only 4 years old. At first, I loved that car. Red with a black interior, and a manual trans. Freedom! Mobility! A manual transmission! What could spoil the fun? I replaced the front two fenders, which at 4 years old were completely rusted through. That thing burned more oil than gas. I tried not to spend too much time at stop lights – the blue cloud that enveloped the car was embarrassing. My dad would joke that at least I never had to change the oil – it never spent enough time in the engine to get old. I only had it for a year and couldn’t part with it fast enough. Now years later, I look nostalgically back at the car and the era. Was it the time of life? Was it my first (two) girl friends? Was it the car? Probably the car.
Oh man! Will you look at the wheels on the car with the vinyl roof !!! ??? WONDERFUL
I distinctly remember my grandfather having a black car with those wheels when I was very young. It wasn’t one of these, though. I feel like it might have been an early ’80s Grand Le Mans coupe.
The Astre was the Pontiac version of the Vega, and the Sunbird was the Pontiac version of the Monza.
They were different models, made at different factories, and had different engine options. Both the Sunbird and Monza were available with a small block V8.
Hard to tell from the extremely limited view and the grainy resolution but it looks like the Sunbird suffering the mirthful derision of the bus passengers is parked next to a Honda Z600…
What was going on at the Pontiac ad department where they would park their products next to ineffably cool vehicles like that ’66-ish Mercedes 200 and the probable Z600 in their own brochure photos??
From what I read elsewhere, GM was concerned with not having enough small cars to meet the demand so they kept both in production simultaneously. Some of it may go back to plant contracts and keeping certain cars in production within the terms of the plant contract with the workers. The Monza/Sunbird had an improved chassis over the Vega/Astre, went from a four link to a two link with track bar (panhard) and the torque arm on the Monza which did improve handling. The Monza also had the larger trans tunnel partially for the torque arm but also for the never to be seen wankel engine.
I had a ’76 Vega wagon, in an outrageous bright orange-red, and I adored it. 1976 was the year that GM finally figured out how to build an aluminum engine, or at least so I was told. Sadly, my beautiful Vega was done in by a wrong-way driver in Maine in 1978. I replaced it with a ’78 Monza wagon – same body but different engine and other underpinnings. It broke its driveshaft (so I was told) within a few months of ownership, and I was never so happy as to be rid of it.
70s cars in those drab colors really only looked decent in those old ads with the weird color gamut.
Torch you should really track down some oldheads from photography or printing to figure out what the deal was with those ad photos.
Especially because the paint quality was typically horrible in person- dull, grainy, orange peeled. A lot of car companies have orange peel problems today, but at least they get the gloss part consistent
Hey for you Mad Men fans– there’s a funny tie-in, later in the seasons, where SCDP finally feels like they have a shot at “landing a car company”, the white whale of an advertising firm. They start going to Detroit a lot, Pete Campbell (mr. Yalie) makes a messes of the GM Corporate Lobby, and they are pitching like crazy.
The business they were trying to land? What GM called internally “the XP-877” launch. Their first serious small car, built in bulk and shipped in innovative rail cars nose-down. That’s the program that launched as the Vega.
A different Vega TV reference – the Rockford Files. In the first season, Jim travels to Arizona and rents a blue Vega. Car Chase! In the next few episodes, the blue Vega keeps showing up in the background of different scenes. Parking lot here, side of the road there, randomly driving down the street in the background. My guess is the studio owned it and it was just a boring background car. They didn’t want to outshine the real star of the series – the gold Firebird.
If that’s the RF Season One episode I’m thinking about? Jim’s gotta go to AZ on that case— and when he checks into the hotel (which looks kinda nice… more resort-yyyy) and you pause it? In the background you can CLEARLY see the EXIT sign out on the adjacent freeway, which very legibly indicates the exit for MAGIC MOUNTAIN PARKWAY. “Hey, that’s in Santa Clarita! Just off the I-5 at the bottom of the Grapevine.”
Not that I expected them to have gone to Phoenix on location– but it was an obvious sign they’d staying in the TMZ. I once figured out where the sign was, where the hotel was (east side of I-5) adjacent to the MMP on-ramp. It was clearly shot in the (old) Harvey House Hotel, which was only recently torn down.
Some of those episodes are fun to PAUSE to look for modern landmarks. He was on a stake-out once on Ventura Blvd… and “look!” there’s a sign for Glendale. And the old location for the huge Buick dealership that had been there in the 1970s.
Even the “golden LA light” they shot in gave the color a certain patina. Until you notice the mountains in the background in a deep, soupy smog layer. “Oh, LA in 1974 was pretty dirty, eh?”
Just wait til you watch old episodes of “MacMillan and Wife” when driving scenes go from San Francisco to Studio City or Century City to a studio back lot in the space of half a minute.
Or, Jack Bauer goes from Santa Monica to Canyon Country in 4 minutes flat.
Much like Alias? “Uh, really, the FBI and CIA counter-terrorism units rent expensive real estate in Venice? really?”
Yeah, for a show that made such a big deal about the gimmick of each episode representing an hour of real time, they certainly played fast and loose with travel times. It was always “I’ll be there within the hour”, I cant get from Temple to the Linc in an hour most days, they expect me to believe LA traffic is better?
Pontiac management seemed to like terrible small cars, they also sold the Chevy Aveo as the Pontiac G3, and Canada got the Firefly, which was a Geo Metro
Vega/Monza cars look good, I feel like it would actually make a great platform to restomod cause what’s there isn’t great but if you replace everything it could be really cool. Why restomod an already good car (like a 911) when you could instead bring a new life to something that needs it? Oh right cause the rich people buying restomods want them more for clout than anything else. Also my dad’s first car he bought new was a Sunbird. He hated it so much I still get stories of how awful it was.
I had a roommate many years ago who had a hand-me-down Monza he was using as a commuter. I always liked the styling. Even if it was a sheeetbox.
Lots of people drop V8s in them and make drag cars, probably more hot rodded Vegas out there than stock at this point
True, I’m thinking more of like a Cosworth Vega taken to its conclusion, a proper Alfa Giulia fighter type thing. You could build something with a big V8 too easy but I’m not a straight line person and just can’t get interested in drag racing no matter how much I try, haha.
Ponton Mercedes’ are actually nice cars to ride in. I’ve never driven one (only been passenger) nor any Pontiacs in the article but i still reckon the Ponton would be better daily driver even today.
Upon further looking the Merc isn’t even a Ponton. Shit I’m drunk.
Correct – It’s a Heckflosse