I Feel Like I’m Taking Crazy Pills Every Time I Read A Faraday Future Email

I’ve met an actual Faraday Future FF91 owner last month, which is only about three times more likely than meeting someone who has literally walked on the moon.

The California-based electric automaker has produced something like 16 real cars, which feels like more of an achievement until you consider the company has also reportedly spent $3.5 billion to get to that point. It’s a strange business, which maybe explains why the company is trying to sell a rebadged van as an ‘AI’ van that has a face.

Obviously, if you read about David’s trip through the looking glass for that van’s launch, you have some sense of this company’s vibe. If not, just imagine you put every car business/tech buzzword into a bag, lined them up randomly on a table, then snorted those words through a sour straw into your brain. That’s what FF is like.

But what’s even better than technology and tech buzzwords? Crypto buzzwords! Which explains this truly bizarre email we all got last week, under the headline “Faraday Future Plans to Spin-Off its Crypto Flywheel Assets into an Existing Listed Company for Independent Fundraising and Operations, Building a Dual-Listed Company Structure.”

Sure, those are words.

I am far from an expert in cryptocurrency, which seems like a technology with some totally legitimate uses being promoted by people who often come off as anything but legit. I’m not a complete novice, though, so I had a sense that “Crypto Flywheel” was probably a concept created by Faraday Future.

It does have a nice ring to it, I admit. What does it mean? Well, here’s a good explanation for how an actual flywheel works:

As you might imagine, electric cars mostly do not have flywheels, so it’s the perfect metaphor for an automaker that only makes electric cars.

And here’s Faraday Future’s explanation for, uh, whatever it’s doing:

The Spin-Off plan aims to establish two independent listed systems—FFAI and a new company focusing on the Crypto Flywheel—that will operate independently while forming strategic synergies.

C10 & Crypto will be driven by its three engines of core businesses, including C10 Treasury, with the goal of accelerating the realization of its Web3 strategic vision and unlocking its full potential. As presented at the Company’s August 16 event, this move is expected to further advance the construction of an “independently operated, mutually empowered” Web2+Web3 dual-engine growth system to maximize stockholder value.

“Separating and listing the Crypto & C10 and crypto asset businesses marks an important turning point in the Company’s development,” said YT Jia, Founder and Global Co-CEO of FF. “We are establishing a second growth engine while ensuring that our core EAI EV Flywheel remains focused, accelerating product delivery and market expansion.”

Oh, I get it, they’re going to use the Crypto Flywheel on the company’s Web2 + Web3 dual-engine growth system. You see, C10 Treasury is a product of FFAI Crypto that buys the 10 biggest cryptocurrencies (excluding stablecoins, obvs, so no Tether) and puts them into a financial product you can invest in. These investments are 80/20, which is to say that 80% is passively managed and 20% is actively managed.

I’m curious, though, were the investments picked randomly or were the allocations thought of ahead of?

Within the overall portfolio, the actively managed 20% allocation achieved performance surpassing the C10 Index average. Notably, all four core digital assets selected in C10’s active allocation outperformed the overall C10 Index and every coin that outperformed the Index was proactively chosen.

Oh, good, they were proactively chosen. I was worried this whole thing was just some convoluted way to offshore income from China. I wonder if we could get a crypto influencer to explain it in a way that makes it sound like she’s been kidnapped by the North Korean government and is reading from a script? That might help:

 

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Sure, sure, sure. You buy the car that they can barely make with this. Makes sense.

Perhaps there’s another influencer who can do an even better job here:

Sorry, when I said “influencer,” I meant California’s actual State Treasurer. That’s Fiona Ma. She’s running for Lt. Governor, which means one day she could be governor. I’m sure this video will never come back to haunt her.

This is all to say that we get emails like this from Faraday Future all the time, and I hope they never stop.

Top graphic images: Faraday Future; Engineering Explained; depositphotos.com