I Guess Every Other Car In The Future Is Going To Be A Nissan Rogue

Necessity is the mother of invention if you’re creative, but for the motherless and unoriginal, there’s always necessity’s deadbeat dad: Badge-engineering. Nissan is taking it to the furthest extremes, and it seems like basically every new vehicle is going to be some sort of Rogue.

This insight comes from the man himself, Nissan CEO Ivan Espinosa, who has had to go out and explain to reporters how his company has a future, and what that future might be. Having been thwacked by tariffs, Nissan is just one of many companies rethinking how they operate. The Morning Dump can relate!

You can add the Dutch government to the list. After almost blowing up global car manufacturing, the Dutch are reconsidering how much they want to be responsible for all that misery. Ford and Honda are yet again in the middle of big recalls, but there’s one big difference for Ford.

And Polestar, which is a car company that still exists, is hoping that adding Google Gemini to its cars will help sell people on the idea of owning a Polestar. Sure..

An Infiniti Rogue Is Nigh, Probably

Dashboard fungus aside, the Infiniti FX45 is one of my all-time favorite SUVs. It represents a time when Infiniti was feeling itself, having sort of won a bunch of F1 championships and was otherwise differentiating itself from Lexus with handsome and slightly sportier offerings.

These days I’m not entirely sure what Infiniti stands for, although I’m sure adding a Nissan Rogue derivative probably isn’t going to significantly damage what little reputation the brand has left. A recent theme of TMD is just “What are Japanese automakers going to do?” Toyota seems fine, and Honda is currently not in an entirely precarious position, although even Honda has a mind for the future.

I was clear earlier this week that Nissan’s step-brother, Mitsubishi, should get super weird. Right now, that mostly means providing Nissan with the laziest badge-engineering ever to create the Nissan Rogue PHEV. One person’s “lazy” is another person’s “efficient,” and if you can be one thing, be efficient.

Ok, so certain Mitsubishis are Nissan Rogues. Perhaps certain Hondas could just be Nissan Rogues, as demonstrated by the topshot in last week’s TMD. Is there anything else that could be a Nissan Rogue?

According to Nissan boss Ivan Espinosa in this interview with Hans Greimel, Infiniti could also get a Rogue:

How can we bring more volume out of the Rogue in the U.S.? One of the ideas is adding some derivatives.

We will try to maximize the assets that we have there, looking at what more we can do in Smyrna with the Rogue, I think with derivatives and with e-Power.

Like the Infiniti derivative?

This is one of the things we’re exploring. Also, we’re considering how and to what extent we can localize e-Power in the region as well.

The derivative we can share as of now is the Infiniti. This is the one that we’re looking at more seriously. And this is obvious because we have the QX50 and QX55 that are coming to an end. So, this could be replaced by a derivative from the Rogue.

Ok, all this e-Power stuff is about Nissan finally getting into hybrids in the United States. One of the issues is that the e-Power system is more configured for low-speed European and Japanese-style commuting, but that’s being fixed for the latest version, apparently.

Espinosa makes it clear that more and more hybrids will be sold by Nissan and everyone.

Honestly, if you’d have told me that there was a Rogue-based Infiniti, I’d have said “Yes, of course, the QXmumblemumble.” It turns out the QX60, which was formerly… something with a “J” I think… is built on Nissan’s D-platform, like the Pathfinder, whereas the CMF-C/D platform somehow doesn’t have an Infiniti derivative.

While the Rogue isn’t considered by many even the fifth-best car in its class, it’s a relatively affordable option and something already being built in the United States. I’m ultimately more interested in derivatives. Given that no one cares about greenhouse gases anymore, could we get a GT-R-powered Rogue? What about a Toyota bB Open Deck style convertible truck? Let’s get creative, folks.

The Dutch Government Would No Longer Like To Hold This Feces-Covered Toddler

What’s most interesting to me about the whole potential Nexperia kerfuffle is that, while many people might agree with the Dutch government that Chinese control of this important chip company is worth monitoring, almost no one had any interest in a fight over it.

There’s just too much fatigue after the pandemic, the resulting chip shortage, tariffs, and the collapse of consumer sentiment. It’s why so many people are welcoming the news that the Dutch government has decided to remove its control over the Sino-Dutch chipmaker, which set into motion fears that chips might not be available to make cars.

Does this mean that everyone is happy? No. The company is still at war with itself, reports Nikkei Asia, and everyone is fine with that so long as the company keeps selling chips:

Although the move will give some comfort to customers that the clash over Nexperia between China and the Netherlands is easing, supply chain issues have not yet been resolved.

Nor has a dispute between Nexperia’s European headquarters and its Chinese parent Wingtech 600745.SS which was sparked by the Dutch state taking control of Nexperia on September 30.

Making China the world’s factory continues to have serious consequences.

Ford And Honda Recalls Highlight The Importance Of OTA Updates

Ford is recalling more than 200,000 of its Bronco and Brono Sport SUVs for instrument panels that might just stop working. This applies to 2025 and 2026 models. The good news, at least, is that NHTSA says the remedy is a software update over-the-air. Given how often Ford has had to recall cars, being able to do this electronically is a huge cost savings.

What about Honda? It’s also recalling more than 200,000 cars, this time all Honda Accord Hybrids built between 2023 and 2025. The software issue for these vehicles is a failure of the integrated control module, which could result in loss of drive power. That’s bad.

Honda, though, can’t issue an OTA update for those Accords, meaning that customers will have to bring their cars into the dealer.

Do American Consumers Want AI Controls In Their Car?

Polestar, a company I’m like 67% sure still sells cars in the United States, is out with news that it’s teaming up with Google to add Google Gemini voice assistant. From a press release:

Sid Odedra, Head of UI/UX at Polestar, says: “Our collaboration with Google is a great example of how we continue to evolve the digital experience in our cars. Gemini brings the next generation of AI voice interaction into the car, and we’re excited to give a first look at how it will enhance the driving experience.”

Gemini is an upgrade from Google Assistant with generative AI integrated, enabling users to have a more natural conversation with their Polestar. In addition to simple commands, users can expand their interaction with Gemini Live. With a simple prompt: “Hey Google, let’s talk”, users can activate the new feature, which enables them to brainstorm aloud, ask follow-up questions, and access new learning opportunities on the go. Gemini will replace the current Google Assistant in all Polestar cars.

Yeah, I’d love to talk to Google and tell it how much it’s screwing up news websites, but I don’t think my Polestar would give me a good answer for why Google is doing that. Based on my experience trying to use Gemini in Google Docs, I imagine talking to your Polestar will be something like this:

Me: Hey Google, let’s talk!

Polestar: Sure, what’s going on Matt? How can I help you?

Me: Sure, can you explain to me how companies like NVIDIA investing in companies like Open AI who then in turn buy more chips from companies like NVIDIA and build these massive power-sucking data centers isn’t creating some sort of terrible, circular logic-fueled bubble that’s going to blow up eventually?

Polestar: I’m sorry, Gemini isn’t working now, would you like me to draw a picture of Jason made to look like he’s a furry monster from a Miyazaki film?

Me: Can you just turn on the radio?

Polestar: I’m sorry, Gemini isn’t working now.

Chinese consumers seem to love AI in-car assistance, which is why every automaker there is rushing to get it into their cars, but I’m not sure how it’ll play in the West.

What I’m Listening To While Writing TMD

Sometimes, all you need is a guitar. Here’s Soccer Mommy with “Shotgun.”

The Big Question

What would be the coolest Rogue derivative? Who else should make a Rogue?

Top photo: Infiniti/Nissan