As you may recall from my kvetching in the past couple Cold Starts, I’m attempting to go to the United Kingdom for the Goodwood Festival of Speed (can’t wait – I’ve heard great things about amphetamines!) and it’s proving to be a much bigger hassle than I’d have guessed. Yesterday, I couldn’t get on my direct flight because the airline’s check-in system was not working and they had too few humans to help, so they re-scheduled me for a flight this morning through JFK, but when I showed up that flight was cancelled due to weather or lack of interest or something and instead I got routed through Bermuda.
Yes, Bermuda.
I didn’t realize that the closest non-Bermudan land to Bermuda was my home state of North Carolina! It’s just 643 miles away! How about that! Anyway, I’m here in Bermuda’s L.F. Wade International Airport, which is strangely empty and quiet right now. I mean, look:
So, I had about an hour to kill, so I decided to see what the Bermudan carscape was like, and took a quick stroll through the relatively empty parking lot, which seems to be known as Muster Station 2:
Don’t confuse it with Mustard Station 2, my upcoming rom-com about teens who work the condiment counter at a food court in a Midwestern mall in the 1980s.
Okay, what do we have? Mostly, it’s not anything all that exciting, but, look, if you can find a better of-the-moment survey of random cars in a Bermuda parking lot, then go read that. There was one fun car that caught my eye first:
A Renault Twizzy! These little electric quadracycles are pretty fun, and I bet are a good choice for happily trundling down this lovely, um, archipelago. I’ve not yet had a chance to drive one, but I’m curious; it seems much more robust and substantial than, say, my Changli.
The rear reminds me of Kang and Kodos, for some reason.
I think these are a good design, but I wonder why they decided to have such minimal weather protection? Would side windows have been so hard? What else do we have?
After about 75 straight hours of driving our NV200 ex-NYC taxi, I was actually kind of excited to see this very clean RHD example. It’s not much different than the cab-spec, though it has a rear hatch instead of split doors.
These Kia Picanto are kind of appealing little cars – 1-liter three-banger engine, four doors, and a decent design. These would go for about $20 grand in US freedom-bucks, which isn’t bad; we don’t really have anything that cheap here anymore.
These are also appealing small cars: Suzuki Swifts. The red one is an older-gen one (2004 to 2010 or so?) and the gray one seems like a third-gen one (2016-2023). I always liked the sort-of Kammback styling of these. They’re appealing little cars.
More Suzukis! This APV van is interestingly narrow, but looks practical.
We haven’t gotten Suzukis in America since about 2013, but their new SUVs look quite handsome and I don’t see why they couldn’t sell them here?
Also, look at those tiny 5-digit license plates!
Okay, what else do we have here?
We don’t get these Hyundai I20s in America, but I do like their rear end design; that blacked-out rear window and the sharp C-pillar are interesting choices. It’s not boring!
There were some familiar faces in the crowd, too:
Have I seen a right-hand-drive Jeep Patriot before? I don’t think I have. Hot damn.
A Caliber? I’m kind of surprised to see this out here. I never really thought of these as the kinds of cars that would be exported out of the US. This is likely the only RHD version of one of these I’ve seen, too.
All these cars are pretty much day-to-day commuters and workers. Is there anything fun around? Well, I did see this:
Someone is having as much fun as possible with their Suzuki Swift. Look at that wing! And that’s a lovely shade of Smurfskin Indigo.
Also, I’m curious about these:
What is this? Is it a European quadracycle like a Ligier or Axiam or something? Is it Chinese? I feel like it’s on the tip of my brain, but I’m too exhausted to figure it out right now, and I need to board here in a few minutes.
I hope I’ve sated your powerful urge to know what everyday cars are like in Bermuda, at least for one day! You’re welcome!
This might be my favorite premise for an article
Oh Suzuki I miss you so.
The Googles tell me that the maximum speed limit on all of Bermuda is 35km/h (22mph!) so it seems like the perfect place for kei vehicles. Or a scooter.
My boss had to go visit a customer in Bermuda (probably 15 years ago now) and was VERY excited to rent a scooter instead of a car.
Given that speed limit, the fact it’s a small island in the middle of the Atlantic and that gas costs the equivalent of $8.66 USD per USG I would say its the perfect place for a rooftop solar charged EV. Or a donkey cart. Or a bicycle. Or a rickshaw.
I’d probably own a 50cc-equivalent electric moped and a kei van.
How about an electric Ken van with a solar roof?
https://electrek.co/2023/11/20/solar-powered-japanese-tiny-van-puzzle-unveiled/
Donkeys require agriculture, or importing hay or grain or something. Unless you feed them tourists, I suppose.
I don’t claim to be an expert on either Bermuda or donkeys but a quick Google says donkeys can do just fine eating Bermuda hay and Bermuda grass which I would assume grow on Bermuda.
https://petshun.com/article/can-donkeys-eat-bermuda-hay
https://www.antiguaanimals.com/abhs-news/coastal-bermuda-grass-hay-and-wheat-straw
Its a green island and Donkeys eat a lot of weeds so I’m sure theres plenty already there to feed a donkey:
https://petshun.com/article/what-weeds-do-donkeys-eat
Cool. Donkey carts are GO!
I just recently visited Bermuda and was similarly impressed with the vehicles I saw there. Suzukis were exciting to see, and I was likewise pleased that there appears to be a community of avid 1st gen rav4 owners. Lots of them on the roads. I saw exactly 2 pickup trucks in my time there, both LHD, a late ‘00s Nissan Frontier and a pre-‘11 Ford Ranger.
Very cool! I encountered Bermuda-bound Swifts and APVs at the port of Newark four years ago and was full of jealousy. The APV is built in Indonesia, a minimally equipped workhorse (or pony) in the strictest sense.
Do they have Jimny’s?
Torchinskys are perfectly adapted to land/wheeled transport, as a miraculous cab journey illustrated. Two days after leaving on a jet plane, he only managed 643mi. Still cognizant, surveying his surrounds, oblivious that he has stumbled into the triangle. You can checkout any time you like, but you can never leave.
Help, he’s steppin’ into the twilight zone
This is extremely fun to see. I don’t know how you managed to get connected through Bermuda, but, it’s cool to see!
The Swift with the giant wang looks like it just needs eyeballs to be in the next Cars movie.
Please don’t edit this
Oh no, you said that movie title. Now we get another Torch manifesto on whether the windshield or headlights are the eyes.
It’s the windshield, btw.
It’s the windshield that are the eyes.
In those films.
That are horribly wrong.
Just rented a RHD Swift on S. Island New Zealand. Perfectly acceptable car in a country where the national max speed limit (with a few exceptions) is 100km/hr (62mph)! 40mpg, comfortable, all the features I would want, and even got a little tail out on a gravel back road.
One annoying thing: it wouldn’t let me leave the lights in the “on” position when leaving the car. Even my 2004 Tacoma automatically turns them off/doesn’t ding when leaving.
Also, I can’t remember if Lewin mentioned this during his story but the most difficult thing about driving a car with the wheel on the “other” side is that the turn signal stalk and wiper stalk are also swapped. Turning on the wipers to pass got old quickly…
Mustard Station 2? How did I miss the first one. I don’t relish that fact. I guess I’ll have to ketchup.
see if your local VHS video rental store carries the banned uncut version – Salsa Station: No Condoment [sic]
Jerry: What, you rented “Home Alone”?
George: Yeah.
Jerry: I thought you saw that already…
George: No, I saw “Home Alone II”.
Jerry: Oh, right… But you *hated* it!
George: Well I was lost, I never saw the first one
“The rear reminds me of Kang and Kodos, for some reason”.
Yes I see it! Now I can’t unsee it, but I don’t want to unsee it!
Look at those no-frills license plates! A video game wouldn’t get away with designing something that basic.
In most parts of the world licence plates are designed primarily to allow rapid reading of the number, rather than as an advert for the state that issued them.
I’ve never been sure why us Brits use a bigger font than basically every other country though.
Bonus trivia, the island of Gurnsey also uses 5 digit plates like this, although neighbouring Jersey has the same with the addition of a J prefix. You very occasionally see them on the UK mainland. Probably less so with Bermudan cars.
To the British: more visible=better.
To the rest of the world: less ugly=better.
Most US states: what if we made them less visible and uglier?
State distinction is still important for accurate recognition though. Australia arguably does a better job of it than we do, but they only have 8 variants to worry about.
When in Bermuda and not a Bermudan, looking at cars is all you can do, since you can’t rent one.
I seem to remember the cab taking us to our hotel was a Mazda 929 way back in the late 80s. Fun fact: the Somerset Bridge on the west end of the island is the smallest working drawbridge in the world.
I think that’s pretty smart of them, actually (I’ve been to Bermuda). A ton of the tourists are American and Canadian, so they aren’t gonna be used to the left-side driving. It’s also a vacation destination, so I bet there’s more chances of people making extremely bad decisions re driving after drinking. Finally, it’s a pretty small country. You can take the either the little local busses or the ferries pretty easily IIRC.
What they WILL let you rent, though, is vespas and those little twizzies, which IMO is brilliant. If you want to risk your own safety, whatever, but if you hit a Bermudan while they’re in a car and you’re in one of those tiny things, you’re probably only gonna hurt yourself.
Edit – I should say, when I went 15+ years ago all you could rent were the little vespas.
When I went w my parents on a family cruise to Bermuda in the late ’80s, I fondly remember zooming around on a Vespa – however, it seemed that the combination of right-side driving + traffic circles resulted more than a few minor accidents among fellow cruisers.
A few dozen showed up to the buffet line that night with road rash from being unable to do the math on that new driving problem.
Exactly. If you want to navigate on your own the only choice is a rental scooter. Seeing pensioners tooling around on them is just as entertaining as it sounds.
I went in the early 90s and saw that bridge.
I totally get the restriction on rentals. The sheer amount of accidents by tourists on scooters tells me all I need to know about how they’d handle cars 🙂
Plus some of those zero-clearance sheer coral walls on the south side of the island. I don’t know how those bus drivers do it, but it’s worth the fare!
Given the state of the roads (narrow, twisting, blind corners) and cocktails (deceptively smooth and sweet while being extremely high gravity) in Bermuda, that’s probably a wise decision.
Huh… with an hour to kill, you look at cars, I’d be drinking swizzle 1 mile away.
The Twizy in this somewhat primitive form is out of production since last year. Its similar-looking but much more refined successor is now the (rather dull-named) Mobilize Duo. The Mobilize Duo does actually have proper wing doors with side windows. It also has a rear window, better suspension, and a longer range. Other improvements over the Twizy: the Mobilize Duo has a steering wheel airbag, and can be ordered with options such as a heated front seat or airco. But just like the original Twizy, the Mobilize Duo has its passenger seat behind the front seat (which always reminds me of the great old Messerschmitt Kabinenroller). To take a look at the Mobilize Duo, just Google it!
Wasn’t that part of Diane’s YA book series on Bojack?
This description sounds a bit like season 3 of Stranger Things as well.
Either way I’d watch it. I would also volunteer my services as Period-Appropriate Background Vehicle Coordinator.
Imagine the pressure you’d be under when sourcing cars though: This is Torch’s movie, if a Beetle visible for a single frame had the wrong year of tail-lights, would you notice?
Maybe not, but Torch would, and can you imagine his wrath?
Fun fact: the Suzuki APV is built in Indonesia.
Wow, to date this is the first time I’ve ever heard of anyone being routed THROUGH Bermuda on a transatlantic trip. That’s wild because, as you noted, it’s WAY South of the Great Circle. I was kind of surprised you didn’t realize it was off the coast of NC. I used to refer to it as the Outer Outer Banks 🙂
I went there once as a teen and didn’t love the vibe, and I think the cars reflect that. About 10% of the island is golf courses (no kidding) and most are private clubs. The housing is mostly low-density, Florida-style stuff and the population seemed to be evenly divided between service workers barely scraping by…and the world’s 0.01%.
It’s like if the British had kept Florida from Spain in some sort of weird post-war deal. “Let’s wear shorts and ties to work!” (I’m just bitter this never caught on in the wider world)
Don’t forget the long socks and penny loafers!
The one time I went to Bermuda, it was a partial business trip for my Dad. I laughed at him when he got dressed for his meetings. Joke was on me later in the trip when we had to get dressed up for a fancy dinner.
This reminded me that I saw a Suzuki Aerio SX on my commute home yesterday. Not one you saw much of in the US even new, and certainly not now. I can’t remember the last time I saw one. Funky little hatchback
I remember seeing these. I think I remember them mostly because the name “Aerio” always messed with me as I wanted to see “Aero” when I read it
It’s a very interesting vehicle (to me) – Torch should do a Cold Start focused on it I think
“Aerio” is a silly name, but in Europe they were called Suzuki Liana – an acronym for “Life In A New Age”, which has to be the lamest name ever invented.
Liana is the horticultural name for a woody vine…
Suzuki doesn’t care!
Interesting, I never put it together that the Aerio is the same as the Liana and definitely didn’t know that is what it was an acronym for. Thanks!
That last one is a Zhidou D2, a small electric vehicle:
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zhidou_D2
Besides: It‘s Renault Twizy (single „z“).
I wish you a safe flight and all of you a great time in Britain 🙂
I’m in/from Britain. Anything more than a mediocre time here means someone has made a mistake.
As a non-native speaker, „anything less“ would have made more sense to me. Why would anybody try to have a mediocre time, at best?
Because an essential part of being British is misery and disappointment.
Have you not experienced one of our cars? Or the food?
Ah, I see. However, I wouldn‘t be too harsh. There‘s a lot of history, beauty and passion 🙂
Well, if the flatbed guys knew what they were doing, your NV200 wouldn’t have split doors either, amirite?
If the door were smart, they would have split when they had the chance!
I thought the Toyota busses were cool, don’t see them here.
I had the pleasure of spending a few days in Bermuda several years ago, and there were the fancy Toyota vans everywhere, the vellfire and the alphard, and man I love those things! Like you mentioned with the Suzuki, they were tall and skinny, but just funky in all the best ways. Now I want one.
Have I got a deal for you!
https://vancouver.craigslist.org/rch/cto/d/richmond-2008-left-hand-drive-toyota/7864554404.html
Haha if it was US legal I’d be tempted
This is diabolical. I know the Japanese view LHD as a status symbol, but to pay for a conversion?! Ridiculous.
I think this might have been converted by the importer that sent it to Canada.
of course, if you want a *factory* LHD Alphard, you could import one from Russia or the Philippines.
Or China.
I had discounted the notion of an importer doing the conversion since it seems like a big investment for an older car, but if they’re making five figures off of them then I guess it’s worth it.
Those Picantos are actually pretty nice little cars. Been in a couple.
The Grand Vitara looks like a Highlander and a Grand Cherokee had a baby.
that grand vitara also has a toyota badged twin, the Toyota Urban Cruiser Hyryder (one mouthful of a name, I know)