I like to think I am funny. I hope other people view me as reliable, kind, and trustworthy. Deep in my soul, I want people to see me as a person they enjoy hanging out with more than I want them to think I’m smart, though I wouldn’t mind that either. I am certain I am not athletic. I am neither suave nor debonair. I do not have a Columbo-like ability to notice small details or flaws in logic. I cannot draw. Up until a few days ago, I was quite certain that I was not cool. Recent evidence suggests that maybe I am?
As a 42-year-old dad who no longer lives in Brooklyn, I am a non-entity to young people. I am like the Predator in that I can see all the twentysomethings, but they cannot see me. My wife is a college professor, so I regularly attend college basketball games, ceremonies, and musicals. Being a thoughtful person, I will remember a student as the kid who played Jack in “Into the Woods” who made the giant ice cream sundae for my kid at the English department field day. They will usually look at me the same way you might look at an actor who once did a three-episode arc on a short-lived CW Series. A half-confused stare like I was an FBI agent on “Blade: The Series.”
I am at peace with this. I don’t think there’s a lot for me to gain by being noticed by anyone under the age of 30. Griffin and Thomas are the only young people I need to know.
At least, that’s how I felt until last week when I was driving my older BMW. It’s a 2003 E39 530i I bought from a member for $3,000. I’ve now owned it long enough that, were it to melt into a puddle tomorrow, I’d still think this was a steal. While it’s overdue for a cleaning and is a 15-foot car at best, people do sometimes notice the car. That’s not why I bought it. No one buys an old German car with 230,000+ miles on it for $3,000 with the expectation that it will make them more interesting to other people.
It’s a great car, that’s fun to drive, and reliable enough for getting around town. Up until this point, the people who notice it are mostly other car people I know, or random folks my age.
I was therefore quite surprised last Sunday when a youth slowed down to give me an appreciative nod. And not just any youth! This was a seemingly hip and stylish younger gentleman in a clean red E30 coupe. It was one of the nicest E30s I’ve seen from someone who has never been a member of Odd Future. Except this kid was younger than any member of OFWGKTA.
I was going straight, and he was waiting for me to clear the intersection so he could turn, so he had to make real eye contact for me to register that he wanted to convey his appreciation. Did I play it off cool? I think I did. There may have been a slight double-take, maybe even a jerk, before I slowed down enough to nod back.
Does this make me an O.G.? Do people still say O.G.? I have no idea. It would be much cooler if I weren’t writing about it, but up until this point, I thought I was free of the burden of having to act cool.
Once is a fluke, but two is a pattern. Just yesterday, this happened to me three times! The car currently looks like this on the outside:
And this on the inside:
And I look like this:
The second time this happened was yesterday morning as I was dropping off my Honda CR-V dadwagon for recall work. Two guys in a work van sized the car up as I drove in and talked loudly about how cool it was. They were especially impressed that it was a stick. Almost embarrassed, I had to explain to them I only paid $3,000 for it, but that made them like it even more. Then, going to pick up the Honda, the same thing happened (although the two people who noticed it were a little closer to my age).
Last night I had a very similar interaction. A guy in a modified black F32 4-series coupe slowed down to give me another nod as I was looking for parking at the local high school. Am I in a club now? Am I in the Midnight Club? Do I have to race Jessica DiCicco now?
Perhaps I should give credit to Joji Nagashima for his excellent design. The car still looks cool more than 20 years later. I have nothing to do with that. I am probably a net-negative to the car’s coolness but, somehow, the vehicle has overcome the demerits I bring and is now well-respected among certain younger people.
Younger people who, I should note, have much nicer cars than I do.
In this case, maybe they don’t think the car is cool so much as they respect that it’s still out there. Still going. A progenitor of a brand they love and a representation of its best era.
That’s my best guess, at least, because the second I get out of the car, my bodily form disappears and I become a voiceless spectre in a Pavement t-shirt floating on Brooks running shoes through the grocery store parking lot.
All photos and top graphic image: author
I have two interesting cars – a 1985 Ford LTD and my BMW E30-based Simpsons inspired 24 Hours of Lemons racer known as “The Homer” – and in recent years I’ve noticed more kids/young adults appreciating both of them. The Ford looks like something your grandpa might drive and The Homer is an homage to a 30+ year old cultural reference, so I was pretty surprised that both of them get recognition and appreciation from people who weren’t alive when both of them were originally made.
Yes. Definitely.
New cars suck.
It’s a cool car, even if it’s a bit “shabby chic”. They do stand out a bit, and are getting rarer by the day in any condition.
I get the same reactions for my ’95 Land Rover Disco, which is in similar condition, but still rumbling along just fine. That thing actually gets as much or more attention than my much nicer ’74 Spitfire. Old men and young boys love the Spitfire, younger dudes and women of all ages get their nickers moist for Land Rover. Though the real panty dropper was the ’01 P38a Range Rover it replaced. Like catnip for women, those trucks. I don’t really get that, but whatever.
My e91 BMW wagon gets a LOT of attention too, especially when car people see it’s a RWD stick car, and it’s mint. I think all of the pre-bucky beaver Bimmers are going to be sought after cars. My two FL daily drivers, a 1-series convertible and a Mercedes wagon get a fair number of “nice car” comments too.
On the subject of becoming an old – one of the reasons I never felt all that comfortable in my bright electric blue M235i was that I felt like I was nowhere near cool enough to be driving such a thing. It was very much a young, hot dude’s car – I am much more comfortable in my rather staid German wagons or the slightly dorky GTI that replaced it. I’m just a big aging IT nerd at the end of the day.
Wow, good work keeping the Disco going – in rust country there are not many still on the street….
It’s not from rust country originally. It spent it’s first ~20 years in San Diego with it’s original owner. And I moved 3/4 time to FL a couple years after I bought it a decade ago, so it hasn’t seen much salt. I do drive it in winter in Maine when I am there in the winter – but I try REALLY hard to NOT be in Maine in the winter. 🙂
But for sure, not many Disco Is that were born and raised up North are still on the road. The body panels may be mostly aluminium, but what’s underneath them DEFINITELY is not! Mine still looks really good underneath, but nowhere near as good when I got it fresh from SoCal. It was SHINY under there.
I’m in my late 50s but my 17 year old son is finally starting to appreciate my quirks, dry humor, and fleet of odd junk with their “legendary” engines. My 15 year old twin girls, not so much.
And you know you’re doing something REALLY cool when 8 year old kids give you the thumbs up. Happened a few times riding motorcycles.
I was getting off my Honda Interceptor in a parking lot and a little girl walking by with her mother pointed and excitedly shouted, “Mommy! Look at the Vespa!”. Absolutely cracked me up.
I had a 10yo boy tell me “I love your car!” when getting into his mom’s minivan a month ago. My 8yo son was with me and was pretty impressed. I also frequently get comments from high schoolers when picking up food. And retirees at the bank or hardware store.
I’m at the cusp of 40 and haven’t thought I was cool in 20 years, but I think cars are the great equalizer of coolness regardless of age.
Indeed. Just came back from an errand where I saw a beautiful Jag XJS V12 convertible – rare around these parts. Yelled “nice Jag!” from my Mazda 5 minivan but I don’t think the old guy heard me. Or maybe he was confused that anyone in a minivan would appreciate his car 🙂
Maybe the disbelief that his car was actually running that day overpowered other sensory input?
Ha, that or too busy listening for the sounds of failure…
“And you know you’re doing something REALLY cool when 8 year old kids give you the thumbs up. Happened a few times riding motorcycles.”
8 year olds used to love my TR-3 too. They said it looked like the Stuart Little’s car. Which should make it clear what 8 year olds think is cool isn’t necessarily what adults you want to impress think is cool or helps you look more interesting to anyone but 8 year olds.
I own a 2014 Toyota Corolla that’s been lowered and has aftermarket wheels. Never once has anyone ever complimented me on it or been excited to see it.
When my wife drives it, however? All. the. time. Guy at the car wash will ask her about it. Random honks and thumbs up driving down the road. Dude taking a picture of it while she’s at the hardware store.
My wife would ALWAYS get honked at or revved at when she had to drive my old LGT. It just had yellow fogs but was otherwise a sleeper. Some guys are just desperate lol.
Are y’all really that oblivious to think the car has anything to do with it?
See my last sentence – key word was “guys”.
Yes. Because there have been more than a few times when she has come out of a store to someone looking at the car, when they would have no idea who’s driving it.
if I’ve learned anything over the years…
“Cool” is just doing something people like with confidence.
That’s it. People pick up on the confidence that you know you’re doing something correctly or really well. Can be just about anything, doesn’t have to be fancy.
I pulled into the parking lot at my child’s doctor office, and there was another E39 already parked there, and it was even the same color as mine! So I parked right next to it, trying to be funny.
When I came out I realized it had three flat tires, dead tags, and had likely been abandoned there.
Years prior, back when I had nice things, I was in slow traffic in my C5 with the targa top off and my thinning hair blowing in the wind. Two attractive young women on the sidewalk waved and yelled “Nice car!”. I smiled and waved back, thinking “I’ve still got it!”
Then I realized they were making fun of me.
But you were noticed!
One of the more depressing days of my early car life was the day I went to the junkyard that has crashed cars and they didn’t have any versions of my car on the lot – so, they sent me across the street that bought non-crashed junkers and I found several versions of my car that had been abandoned. Made me realize just how out of date and how close to irrelevance my car was.
I’m a few years older than you and never been cool to others. But I always tell/fool myself that I’m cool, to my family and close friends. That’s all that matters anyway.
In Spongebob terms, you and I are Squidwerds. Jason’s Spongebob and David’s Patrick. Be glad you’re not Patrick.
In this Scenario, is Mercedes Sandy?
Absolutely!
Lock up the leaf blowers!
I’m a 52 year old prog-rock nerd with a weird sense of humor. I’m as invisible as you can get (fine by me), but the youths regularly compliment my cars.
Attention is weird.
Anyhoo, extra points awarded for mentioning ‘Into The Woods.’ On our school band trip to NYC (remember: nerd) back in high school, this was the play we saw. I was entertained.
The E39 is the quintessential 5 Series design. Doesn’t even have to be an M. It’s timeless. Although the one I had was always broken, I still miss the way it drove. When it worked.
You got the Rizz.
Cool is in the eye of the beholder. If you can look in the mental mirror and like who you are (not necessarily your appearance), that’s all that matters. If others don’t recognize your inner coolness, that’s their problem, not yours.
Matt, Matt, Matt…
Have you SEEN what passes for cool these days? I mean come ON. Not a Hypercolor shirt in sight! And no spiky mullets!
Better to have BEEN cool than to try to BE cool.
I’m just shy of my 40’s and have already noticed that I’m invisible. It is a superpower. If the kids in their 20’s don’t notice I exist, and the people my age are no longer cool, then why try to be cool? I’m free to do what I want, dress how I want, etc.
Becoming invisible is amazingly freeing. You do you and don’t worry what anyone else thinks. They’re not looking anyway.
Clogs with running shorts and a T-shirt for a quick trip to the grocery store? Why not? I’m 56 and nobody cares what I looks like.
Who a dork thinks is cool, an imbeciles idea of a smart person, an adolescent punk ass bullies idea of bravery, OH sorry, watching the news.
It’s Hip to be square! Now polish those headlights, we have standards.
100% agreed. The headlights are in bad shape.
In general, asking is automatic disqualification.
But in my book, you’re cool. Not due to the car though. In the sage words of the classic Disney channel original movie Brink, “you are defined by the company you keep and how you keep it.” You keep good company in all respects.
Stop stressing about being cool, just let it happen and don’t give up, but also don’t try too hard. You’ve earned SO much cred over these younger people, the hardest part is realizing they’re that young. Like, born in years starting with the number “2” which I didn’t think was possible for fully functioning adults.
I’ll steal from two comedians in that when you’re in your 40s, you look at people in your 20s like you’re basically the same age. But someone who is 50? Get the hell out of here, old man! (Nate Bargatze, loosely). Or the fact that 20-something girls used to check me out…now they just sort of “keep an eye on me.” (Anthony Jeselnik, maybe?)
It’s a very strange place to be. I’m 46 but semi-fluent in GenZ, but that’s more of a party trick for my son’s friends. I’m in better shape than I was 20 years ago, but that’s because I try harder now because I realize I’m no longer invincible. I haven’t actually been vinced, but I’ve come close enough.
Either way, don’t join a Crossfit gym and don’t get full sleeve tattoos. That’s trying too hard. The worst thing you can do to try to be cool is force it.
As a fellow surburban dad in his 40s, my understanding is everything is stupid unless it is cool but everything stupid can become cool and everything cool can become stupid. So you are currently cool but may become stupid at any given moment.
I would say you’re cool to
young peopleother car guys.I’ve had my 1968 Oldsmobile since 1995. I was always used to driving it around and being seen, waving at people, getting thumbs-up, answering questions… What I wasn’t prepared for is the new version of this: People’s phones popping out of their car windows as I drop by. People stopping and taking pictures with it for their Instagrams in the parking garage… The world is a weird place.
I’m 62. What is O.G.? The interior/cockpit of your 2003 BMW is far nicer than anything in a new German car these days. New idea for the editors of The Autopian: ask readers to send in pictures of our vehicles back seat areas, run the ones that are “unusual”.
O.G. = Original Gangster
As in, an originator of something cool or in this case an old but cool person
Thanks. I only qualify as the old in the O.
Same!
Clean up those headlights and you will definitely elevate the coolness a bit more. Plus it’s fast and easy. Love that E series look.
I believe the E39 is one of the most, if not the most, well designed modern era BMW. Among 5ers, it still tops great designs like F10 and G30 LCI, which is gorgeous, and probably the closest to E39.
Pull up in a pre bangle 7 series, preferably a V12 and see the reactions. so few survived due to German Planned obsolescence. the few still out there draw a small crowd. lots of us X’ers wanted one, but the majority of us never really could afford one.
I think you are not OG anymore, maybe a bit more of a Sigma, and that in itself is sus.
Way back in the late eighties, I commuted to college on the Northern State Parkway on Long Island. Certain nights my return time aligned with a 7 series, as well as an Acura Legend Coupe. Both were beautiful designs in their own ways. I enjoyed following them thinking “someday”. Never happened, but good memories, thanks for bringing em back.
Guy who owns the barber shop up the road has a black one that looks brand new. It is lovely.
The E38 is my favorite looking BMW. Pure understated sophistication.
The E38 is peak flagship BMW.
I am a thirtynothing and think you’re cool. You’re a present husband and father… in today’s age, that’s about the coolest thing in my book.
I’m a twentysomething and think you’re cool Matt. I also pay to be here, so I’ll let you decide what that’s worth.