I like to think I am funny. I hope other people view me as reliable, kind, and trustworthy. Deep in my soul, I want people to see me as a person they enjoy hanging out with more than I want them to think I’m smart, though I wouldn’t mind that either. I am certain I am not athletic. I am neither suave nor debonair. I do not have a Columbo-like ability to notice small details or flaws in logic. I cannot draw. Up until a few days ago, I was quite certain that I was not cool. Recent evidence suggests that maybe I am?
As a 42-year-old dad who no longer lives in Brooklyn, I am a non-entity to young people. I am like the Predator in that I can see all the twentysomethings, but they cannot see me. My wife is a college professor, so I regularly attend college basketball games, ceremonies, and musicals. Being a thoughtful person, I will remember a student as the kid who played Jack in “Into the Woods” who made the giant ice cream sundae for my kid at the English department field day. They will usually look at me the same way you might look at an actor who once did a three-episode arc on a short-lived CW Series. A half-confused stare like I was an FBI agent on “Blade: The Series.”
I am at peace with this. I don’t think there’s a lot for me to gain by being noticed by anyone under the age of 30. Griffin and Thomas are the only young people I need to know.
At least, that’s how I felt until last week when I was driving my older BMW. It’s a 2003 E39 530i I bought from a member for $3,000. I’ve now owned it long enough that, were it to melt into a puddle tomorrow, I’d still think this was a steal. While it’s overdue for a cleaning and is a 15-foot car at best, people do sometimes notice the car. That’s not why I bought it. No one buys an old German car with 230,000+ miles on it for $3,000 with the expectation that it will make them more interesting to other people.
It’s a great car, that’s fun to drive, and reliable enough for getting around town. Up until this point, the people who notice it are mostly other car people I know, or random folks my age.
I was therefore quite surprised last Sunday when a youth slowed down to give me an appreciative nod. And not just any youth! This was a seemingly hip and stylish younger gentleman in a clean red E30 coupe. It was one of the nicest E30s I’ve seen from someone who has never been a member of Odd Future. Except this kid was younger than any member of OFWGKTA.
I was going straight, and he was waiting for me to clear the intersection so he could turn, so he had to make real eye contact for me to register that he wanted to convey his appreciation. Did I play it off cool? I think I did. There may have been a slight double-take, maybe even a jerk, before I slowed down enough to nod back.
Does this make me an O.G.? Do people still say O.G.? I have no idea. It would be much cooler if I weren’t writing about it, but up until this point, I thought I was free of the burden of having to act cool.
Once is a fluke, but two is a pattern. Just yesterday, this happened to me three times! The car currently looks like this on the outside:
And this on the inside:
And I look like this:
The second time this happened was yesterday morning as I was dropping off my Honda CR-V dadwagon for recall work. Two guys in a work van sized the car up as I drove in and talked loudly about how cool it was. They were especially impressed that it was a stick. Almost embarrassed, I had to explain to them I only paid $3,000 for it, but that made them like it even more. Then, going to pick up the Honda, the same thing happened (although the two people who noticed it were a little closer to my age).
Last night I had a very similar interaction. A guy in a modified black F32 4-series coupe slowed down to give me another nod as I was looking for parking at the local high school. Am I in a club now? Am I in the Midnight Club? Do I have to race Jessica DiCicco now?
Perhaps I should give credit to Joji Nagashima for his excellent design. The car still looks cool more than 20 years later. I have nothing to do with that. I am probably a net-negative to the car’s coolness but, somehow, the vehicle has overcome the demerits I bring and is now well-respected among certain younger people.
Younger people who, I should note, have much nicer cars than I do.
In this case, maybe they don’t think the car is cool so much as they respect that it’s still out there. Still going. A progenitor of a brand they love and a representation of its best era.
That’s my best guess, at least, because the second I get out of the car, my bodily form disappears and I become a voiceless spectre in a Pavement t-shirt floating on Brooks running shoes through the grocery store parking lot.
All photos and top graphic image: author
What’s with the cool-guy shoes? Get some white NBs.
Cool is only currency for people who don’t have jobs or spouses. Otherwise you are just doing your own thing, which is cool.
Am I cool? No. But have had several kids take pics of the Saab 900 convertible. Pretty much nobody in their 20s in this area has seen a Saab. Is it cool? Yes, in a cheap “don’t look too close” way. Me? I know I’m not, my daughters remind me of that a lot, especially the youngest.
It’s a cool car. Driving one means you recognise coolness, which makes you cool.
A lot of people who compliment my car weren’t born yet when it went out of production, and it’s something maybe their lifelong bachelor uncle would have driven. Yet they do admire it and give me a bit of transitive coolness for driving it. And trust me I’m considerably less cool than you are.
I always notice BMWs. New; Old; Worn out; Perfect… They always catch my eye. Sedans/coupes, anyways. (I can barely distinguish the SUVs from one another)
Nice ride!
It doesn’t matter if people think you’re cool. The E39 IS cool and always was. My 1998 green and tan Z3 roadster is also cool. I love walking up to it in the parking lot- seeing it- and knowing it’s my ride. And has been since 2001. So I’m 51 now- a dad, but still retain some of the punk/artist look I had 20 years ago. When I turn right out of my house in Benedict Canyon and zoom up to Mulholland with the top down, nothing could be cooler. Enjoy it.
The car is cool. The New York Empire ultimate disc — EVEN COOLER.
The E39 is my favorite BMW of all time.
My former neighbor had an M5 version and it was just beautiful.
That said… I just can’t bring myself to buy one, having been eaten alive by a Bavaria 40 years ago.
I have a well-maintained ’17 Accord. It’s not cool, but I know that when I set out on a 750-mile journey, I will get there. And back.
At 68, it’s possible that this will be my last car. I’m ok with that.
Old BMW – Cool.
Dirty Car – Not cool.
Clutter in the car – Not cool.
Those sneakers – Not cool.
It looks like mostly kid clutter in the back seat. That can be forgiven.
And who has time to wash cars until their kids are in high school?
Drive-thru Car Washes are a thing.
E39 is the best BMW, full stop. It’s cool, and as a result of driving it, you are also cool.
When you are not driving the E39, all bets are off. Just be glad you’re already married. 😛
E34 > E28 > E39 but I’ll allow it.
There is no way the e34 is above the e39. Maaaaaybe the e28, with enough nostalgia glasses.
At 67 I like the cars I own and drive and I don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks about them or me for that matter. Not sure if that’s cool or not.
I’d like to own and enjoy a few other nice cars in my days left on the planet. That’s cool to me.
I think you are stretching a bit there. You are driving a car that a small subset of the population thinks is cool, and the connection as you mention is broken the second you step away from the car.
That said is is nice when others appreciate your car that the average person would just think is an “old car”. I have definitely got the slow roll, nod, thumbs up, nice car ect with some of my toys over the years and is nice when someone actually knows what it is they are looking at.
The strangest one was when I was in my daily driver MKZ. I was at Costco at the nitrogen station as it was fall and they needed a little bump. An attractive soccer mom was rolling her full car to her car. She stopped and said “I got to say that is a good looking car”. I thanked her and she went on her way to put her purchases in her soccer mom SUV.
Your car is well past the 17 year BMW douchebagery curve. Your in good shape here.
Two years ago I bough my 2007 Lotus Europa, because I really missed my S1 Elise but I’m old enough that bigger doors, AC, ABS and a turbo felt like sensible improvements.
Shortly after I bought it I was driving it to the shops in town and got stopped at some roadworks. There was a bunch of kids a hundred metres away on the opposite side of the road who were all on their phones, when one of them spotted my car. He nudged the guy next to him and pointed at my car. A couple of second later and the whole group of maybe ten kids are pointing and staring. Then one of them starts walking towards me. He got level with me on the opposite side of the road, all the time staring, close enough that I guess he could read the badges in the wheel centres, then turned to the rest and shouted “It’s just a Lotus”.
The rest of the kids walked off, and he had to run to catch up.
My car isn’t cool. I’m definitely not cool. I’m fine with it.
Thank you for this.
Sorry but dad outfit lose 30 points. Asking about am I cool lose 30 points. Worried about what other people think lose 30 points. You just to start dressing like a homeless person, if your wife will let you. Make up many interesting stories about the car and yourself. And never be the 1st to speak and even then a grunt makes them work for it. Also just don’t give a shit
Also remember Homer Simpson became cool for having a cannonball fired into his stomach.
That seems like a lot of things I have to do in order to impress people I don’t give a shit about.
I mean, those dad shorts might be dorky enough to circle all the way back around to cool? I guess. You’ve reached DGAF age, an age that I am very much enjoying myself. Either way, I think you’re cool and I think your car is cool. I also think it would be even cooler if you buff those freaking headlight lenses!
The shorts are almost cancelling out the coolness Matt gets from the car. People don’t see them while he’s driving. If the doors were transparent I don’t know if he’d get quite as much cool factor.
But… transparent doors are cool.
Well, my mom thinks I’m cool and I think you’re cool so that must mean you’re cool by proxy.
Dear Matt,
I admire you for your brains and your charm!
Having said that, I would argue that your car looks cooler now than it did in the early 2000s. Which is a really interesting phenomenon.
It’s pretty amazing – BMW actually used to make cars that looked cool that people actually wanted!
Legit can’t remember when that era stopped.
The E60 ruined everything.
I want to start a fundraiser just to get those wheels fixed. OMG
Those Style 42 wheels are heartbreakers. The outer barrel is bare metal with clearcoat; the clearcoat goes bad over time, which is what’s happening to Matt’s wheels (mine, too). They also can’t be repaired if they get curb rash. The only way to “restore” those wheels would be to paint the outer barrels, which wouldn’t look the way they’re supposed to look.
Indeed they are. I’ve always liked them a lot, but wasn’t aware of the propensity for developing diarrhea skin. It’s a damn shame.
I feel more bad for Matt now.
Had the same year make and model car, same style 42 wheels, even in the same gray… and the wheels killed me! Impossible to keep clean, dirt gets into the seam of the 2-piece design, and any kind of road salt immediately begins to corrode the metal. Then they start leaking air, and I had to throw on the spare constantly, until one day 2 wheels went flat at the same time and i knew it was time to get another set.
Ouch! I have to say that sucks way more because they are both gorgeous and badass when in prime condition.
The decade of your 40s is characterized by your slow acceptance that you are likely no longer cool.
When you get to your 50s you can truly be yourself as you pass through the acceptance phase and are thoroughly into the “I don’t care” phase. There’s some left over, residual self-image you maintain but it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks, just your own happiness.
Ozzy couldn’t talk clearly never bathed could barely walk and in his 70s. Still cool
RIP Prince of Darkness definitely cool to the end.
Rock stars (honestly, true rock stars are already a dying breed and I doubt we will look upon today’s pop stars in the same light of real rock stars) are an obvious exception.
We cannot compare ourselves to rock stars or other celebrities who employ full time PR agencies.
There are a few who are genuinely cool certainly. Keanu comes to mind and a few others.
Here in MAGA lumberjack SW Oregon, older 3-series BMW’s seem to have taken the place of old Buicks among high school students, for some reason. There is a disproportionate number of them compared to almost NO late model Bimmers in these parts.
Local Young Person here, can confirm you look cool.
tbh the e39 is one of the best looking bimmers (that isn’t the 507 or 2002)
“No one buys an old German car with 230,000+ miles on it for $3,000 with the expectation that it will make them more interesting to other people.”
Oh I disagree! I think a LOT of people buy cheap old German cars hoping to impress others, especially the ones whom tack on fake M/AMG/S/911 badges.
I came here to say the same thing.
A lot of people buy cheap old German cars not realising they’ll be more interesting to car mechanics.
I’d say just roll with it and accept your moments of coolness. Personally, it’s not my cup of tea, but that’s likely because my work has left me so mentally scarred by BMWs that I would happily never lay eyes on one again. If other people who aren’t tortured by BMWs on the daily think you’re cool for enduring the moods of a 20-something German executive sedan, then dang it, I guess you’re just gonna have to accept the unexpected jump in social status.
I love that the person with a Lancia Scorpion for an avatar is calling out German cars for being torturous, moody and mentally scarring.
Yeah, I was going to say, what horrors has Andrea experienced from BMWs that Lancias and Alfas are a salve?
It’s like any job where you experience the worst of something, you just start to expect that they’re all broken piles of poo, whereas I only have to deal with one Lancia and I treat her like a beloved pet. My Lancia and I have a good relationship, even though I am basically her submissive.