I like to think I am funny. I hope other people view me as reliable, kind, and trustworthy. Deep in my soul, I want people to see me as a person they enjoy hanging out with more than I want them to think I’m smart, though I wouldn’t mind that either. I am certain I am not athletic. I am neither suave nor debonair. I do not have a Columbo-like ability to notice small details or flaws in logic. I cannot draw. Up until a few days ago, I was quite certain that I was not cool. Recent evidence suggests that maybe I am?
As a 42-year-old dad who no longer lives in Brooklyn, I am a non-entity to young people. I am like the Predator in that I can see all the twentysomethings, but they cannot see me. My wife is a college professor, so I regularly attend college basketball games, ceremonies, and musicals. Being a thoughtful person, I will remember a student as the kid who played Jack in “Into the Woods” who made the giant ice cream sundae for my kid at the English department field day. They will usually look at me the same way you might look at an actor who once did a three-episode arc on a short-lived CW Series. A half-confused stare like I was an FBI agent on “Blade: The Series.”
I am at peace with this. I don’t think there’s a lot for me to gain by being noticed by anyone under the age of 30. Griffin and Thomas are the only young people I need to know.
At least, that’s how I felt until last week when I was driving my older BMW. It’s a 2003 E39 530i I bought from a member for $3,000. I’ve now owned it long enough that, were it to melt into a puddle tomorrow, I’d still think this was a steal. While it’s overdue for a cleaning and is a 15-foot car at best, people do sometimes notice the car. That’s not why I bought it. No one buys an old German car with 230,000+ miles on it for $3,000 with the expectation that it will make them more interesting to other people.
It’s a great car, that’s fun to drive, and reliable enough for getting around town. Up until this point, the people who notice it are mostly other car people I know, or random folks my age.
I was therefore quite surprised last Sunday when a youth slowed down to give me an appreciative nod. And not just any youth! This was a seemingly hip and stylish younger gentleman in a clean red E30 coupe. It was one of the nicest E30s I’ve seen from someone who has never been a member of Odd Future. Except this kid was younger than any member of OFWGKTA.
I was going straight, and he was waiting for me to clear the intersection so he could turn, so he had to make real eye contact for me to register that he wanted to convey his appreciation. Did I play it off cool? I think I did. There may have been a slight double-take, maybe even a jerk, before I slowed down enough to nod back.
Does this make me an O.G.? Do people still say O.G.? I have no idea. It would be much cooler if I weren’t writing about it, but up until this point, I thought I was free of the burden of having to act cool.
Once is a fluke, but two is a pattern. Just yesterday, this happened to me three times! The car currently looks like this on the outside:
And this on the inside:
And I look like this:
The second time this happened was yesterday morning as I was dropping off my Honda CR-V dadwagon for recall work. Two guys in a work van sized the car up as I drove in and talked loudly about how cool it was. They were especially impressed that it was a stick. Almost embarrassed, I had to explain to them I only paid $3,000 for it, but that made them like it even more. Then, going to pick up the Honda, the same thing happened (although the two people who noticed it were a little closer to my age).
Last night I had a very similar interaction. A guy in a modified black F32 4-series coupe slowed down to give me another nod as I was looking for parking at the local high school. Am I in a club now? Am I in the Midnight Club? Do I have to race Jessica DiCicco now?
Perhaps I should give credit to Joji Nagashima for his excellent design. The car still looks cool more than 20 years later. I have nothing to do with that. I am probably a net-negative to the car’s coolness but, somehow, the vehicle has overcome the demerits I bring and is now well-respected among certain younger people.
Younger people who, I should note, have much nicer cars than I do.
In this case, maybe they don’t think the car is cool so much as they respect that it’s still out there. Still going. A progenitor of a brand they love and a representation of its best era.
That’s my best guess, at least, because the second I get out of the car, my bodily form disappears and I become a voiceless spectre in a Pavement t-shirt floating on Brooks running shoes through the grocery store parking lot.
All photos and top graphic image: author
I’d also give a thumbs up to somebody in an E39, it’s one of the best sedans ever made (along with the E34 5-series). I get compliments and thumbs up all the time when I’m driving my 1995 540i, because while it just looks like a boxy old sedan to most people, those that know of it recognize it as something special.
Maybe they’re impressed that you actually use your turn signals (I’m guessing you do) and that they still function
Don’t try and fend off compliments Matt. Enjoy looking cool and embrace it.
I was being looked at weird when my Datsun was a rust heap or being tested, and it took some time getting used to the compliments now that she’s all shiny and rust free. I always had to play its coolness down: “oh she ain’t finished yet, the interior is a mess and the engine needs some work”.
Don’t. Be proud of your vehicular choice and its coolness. It’s deserved, and deep down you know it.
I always thought that Matt was older than me… now I discover that I am one year his senior? That explains why we both have 03 BMWs. Now that I am a dad too I need to start changing my vibes I guess.
I’ve been having a similar experience lately: twice now, or about once every 2-3 weeks/drives, while sitting at a red light, the very lumpy and louder-than-stock idle of my ’89 Volvo 240 wagon has attracted admiring glances from white guys half my age crossing the street. I had to disappoint the first guy when he actually came up to ask me if I had an LS V8 installed, and I had to explain that no, it’s just a hot cam and stainless exhaust.
To be honest, I’d like to go back to a stock cam, since the lumpy idle/cosplaying as a hot rod/sleeper does nothing for me emotionally, and I doubt it’s doing much performance-wise other than making the car burn gas faster.
I’ve been middle-aged for a good while now, and since I’ve never been an extrovert, it’s actually a little relief to be less visible to younger people. Not to exaggerate my misathropic qualities, but leaving the house/dogwalk radius of my neighborhood has struck me as overated for some years now. Maybe it’s just a function of aging, like constant back pain and deteriorating vision?
So a 2003 530i is peak BMW -it just doesn’t get any better. While Adrian disagrees, (maybe the example he tried was old & tired) when the E39 was released it was a revelation when compared to almost anything else on the road – it’s steering was unsurpassed, it held the road like no other sedan, and it was almost powered up enough (even the 2003 530i could have used 50 more hp). If I was willing to take on the maintenance headaches, I would be driving one today. And I would stick with the inline 6 version, I am unwilling to buy a BMW V8 – their legacy is the I-6 and that is what you should get.
Make sure you do the cooling system upgrades before you have issues, and maybe clean out the Vanos system too. Not sure how expensive recondition the suspension would be, but the bushings, etc are likely worn down enough to impact the driving experience.
Enjoy – these are cars for people who love cars – this was/is the ultimate driving machine.
^ This ^ The E39 is a modern classic and if you’re sporting a model with a manual, whether it be a 528 or a M5, it shows you are an enthusiast who selected one of the all time greatest Teutonic sedans out there.
My old BMW motorcycle gets noticed, my old pickup just blends in. Perhaps I should scrape up some money for a more interesting car
Q: how is the paint shining? Is it new since the first coat was put on 2003?
I ask, because I’m thinking about a wrap or whole new paint job on my 2003, as it is fading fast. (Rest of the car still works well enough.)
I think it is the shine on such an old car that is getting the props.
It doesn’t happen too often, but I occasionally get waves/compliments in the E39. The muffler delete/M62 probably helps. However last week something happened for the first time in all my years of driving… a guy on a BMW touring motorcycle pulled up next to me and paused just long enough to give a nod and thumbs up. I’ve never even been acknowledged by a bike, but for the briefest of moments I was cool.
IMHO BMWs aren’t cool, with a few exceptions like the i8 which *looks* cool.
That reminds me of how I used to get compliments for the 2000 Saab 9-3 I had… which I only paid CAD$2500 for.
The 9-3 was (is) a great car and those in the know appreciate it.
My wife and I would get compliments or questions (is it really an R?) from the rare youth about our volvo R’s. My wife is hardly a car person, but when people would ask about or compliment her on it, the interaction always makes her really happy -gush even- as the owner of something old but good getting recognized by the car youths
I am 43, and rock an E46 Convertible. people are always complimenting me on it. I just added some fake RS wheels to finish it off, it is a killer looking car, i have yet to catch a phone number.. but hey maybe.
I experience these moments periodically with my Chevy SS. It’s also not in the best condition, purchased used and not babied, but it’s unique enough. I think think the most recent one was the best. I was dropping my kids off at their summer camp with my dad on bluetooth. One of the counselors (a highschooler?) complimented the car. My son immediately started telling him all about it and my dad was shocked that anyone cared about my car, much less a teenager.
It feels great when strangers compliment or notice your car/ attire/ any personal decision you made to differentiate yourself. It’s validating, and it doesn’t take much effort.
Instead of gatekeeping cars and saving praise for the exotics or museum pieces, give more thumbs up, or say nice car if you notice something. There are cars that people don’t end up owning by accident; some are a little too ugly, others too impractical, but you know them when you see them and those people probably love their car.
While they may be like “why is that rando 45yo dude giving me the thumbs up”, I make it a priority to give the shaka or thumbs up to the road warriors, the colorful, the rare editions, the modified (even if its not my style at all, still recognize), the dutiful loving owners and those who are clearly in the midst of a JOB.
I dont know that girl or guy, but maybe that small form of recognition will make their day as much as it did mine seeing it in the wild.
Well said!
Once I was at the Kroger gas station filling up next to a slightly overweight 40-something guy driving a BMW and wearing a beat up old black BMW ball cap. I kind of rolled my eyes internally, but I suddenly realized I was a slightly overweight 40-something guy driving a Volvo wearing a beat up old black Volvo ball cap. Were we two cool guys? No, not even a little.
This hits close to home. Also 42, also driving a 2003 e39 5-speed. Also get some street repsect when driving the car. Also have a honda suv for family duty. Probably not even that far from you, as I can be in Brooklyn in just over an hour.
Did we just become best friends?
Driving an old thing makes you cool.
But maybe mainly to others with some kind of similar interest. Kind of like supermoto. A plated supermoto is cooler than the other side of the pillow…but only to other dudes also into supermoto. Zipping in and around a city on one is the most motored fun I think you can have off of a racetrack but the only people into it are other folks that have or had similar bikes.
e39 5ers are coming into their own in the ‘cool-uncool-cool’ cycle. while theyve never been decidedly ‘uncool,’ they did have their honda accord moment where they were just seen as ‘transportation, but bmw’
Every dog has his day!
Lol, I’m aggressively uncool to the point where it likely makes young people uncomfortable to be around me, if only because if they have any self-awareness they might realize that they could become me. And rapidly! I’m only 36. The hair is going, I schlep kids around in a minivan, and I’m about to spend a 3-day weekend seeing Phish. I’m pretty sure even 26 year old me would be pretty concerned. But I’m totally comfortable and cool with it.
As for the E39, that car will always be cool, regardless of condition. It’s officially an “if you know you know” sort of car.
As a parallel universe you are describing what i feel on the reg, but 45 and with old volvos. Embrace the uncool, it can be liberating.
Enjoy the show at SPAC (if that is indeed the 3-day wknd mentioned)! Great venue for Phish, great crowd, great upstate summer nights. The captive audience beverage racket could use to calm down a bit, so i just dont drink ’cause i gotta drive home anyways. Built-in problem mitigater that way. Maybe some barbershop quartet will happen
It is SPAC! Our home venue. We’re inside for today and Saturday, and potentially on the lawn for Sunday. We’re lucky enough to have a friend that lives within semi-reasonable walking distance which helps a lot.
I had a 90 Miata for a few years, bought for $1250 in 2020. Yeah, that year, where nothing else was happening so why not?
Driving on I-75 from work, a loud Honda slowed next to me in the left lane. I thought oh boy, here we go with these damn kids. I looked over and they both gave me a thumbs up & sped up. Probably thought good for you, grandpa. (Was 53 at the time with some grey in my beard.)
I’m a 45 year old in a beater e36. It’s lowered on some cool wheels. I get a thumbs up from people nearly every day. And not just BMW people: a new Audi, a guy on a crotch rocket, etc.