A little more than 24 hours ago, I woke up, wrote two stories, hailed a ride, and walked into Lester B. Pearson International Airport’s mildly hectic Terminal 3. The destination? The Goodwood Festival of Speed, with the final leg of the journey to be taken via Ssangyong Rodius. While festivities don’t officially start until tomorrow, I made it in today, and let me tell you, life is good.
You probably could’ve guessed that some of our plans caught a snag before the fun officially began. Jason and I were expected to basically arrive at the same time, but there’s been a hitch. See, Jason isn’t arriving until tomorrow because he now needs to connect through Bermuda. The result will be an early morning mission to Heathrow in the Rodius, but once he arrives, the party really kicks off.
Still, once my flight touched down, Adrian arrived to pick me up in the machine you, dear members, made us get: our £800 Ssangyong Rodius. Powered by a Mercedes-Benz five-cylinder diesel engine and styled in an unusual manner, it’s certainly distinctive. What I didn’t expect was that it doesn’t seem to be as bad as people say!
Sure, the sills have been previously welded, the air-con doesn’t work, some parts of the interior are broken, and a bit of the badging has fallen off, but the vehicle itself is at least in the same league as the Chevrolet Venture and first-generation Kia Sedona. The seats may be rock-hard and unsupportive, some of the plastics genuinely feel disposable, and it’s making some old car noises, but there are certainly worse cheap family haulers out there, not to mention ugly cars. Tray tables and swivelling second-row seats are pretty swank, and if you stand back about 500 feet, loosely put your fingers over your eyes, and squint at it, this thing kinda looks like an early-aughts Lancia.
After about an hour-and-a-half on the road, we arrived at our charming AirBNB, devoid of air conditioning but full of style. We’re talking a gorgeous kitchen, tile floors, loads of natural light, and a toilet I’m constantly scared of falling into. Almost immediately, the task of testing that toilet weighed on my mind as our stomachs directed our eyes to a Canadian classic: Tim Hortons.
Going to a Tim Hortons in the United Kingdom is a bit of a trip for anyone used to Canadian locations, partly because you wouldn’t be used to seeing burgers on the menu, and partly because some menu items like the chili just didn’t make the trip across the Atlantic. No matter, curiosity made me give loaded barbecue fries a try, while I directed Adrian to the Iced Capp, sort of like a coffee slurpee. The loaded barbecue fries were shockingly good, while the Iced Capp was, well, an Iced Capp. Don’t worry, we’re going to be more adventurous with food soon, as Jason’s delay means I have a sidequest I need to complete.
Although my time so far in Britain has been brief, part of me wishes I could just move across the Atlantic. Compared to southern Ontario, the roads are vastly better, the food is far cheaper, the weather’s more moderate, and certain general services like internet are more reasonable. Plus, compared to having to drive for an entire day just to get to Manitoba, you aren’t really that far from anything in England.
Anyway, if you’re headed to the Goodwood Festival of Speed this year and happen to see us, please say hi! We plan to be there from Thursday through Sunday, and assuming I figure out how to affix an Autopian grille badge to the Rodius, we should soon be even easier to spot.
Top graphic credit: Adrian Clarke
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Now a trip to Australia or South Korea is needed to drive a Ssangyong Chairman! +1,000 points if it’s a Chairman W.
So there’s a question: Rodius, or Lancia Zeta? The former may be hideous, but it fits more people and has a FR Merc-based 5-banger. The latter is a FWD Fiat cargo van, but has alcantara and that Italian badge. Tricky one. I think my answer is Espace Mk3.
Inappropriately proportioned toilet, I dub thee Commodius.
On my signal, unleash hell.
Get used to that 😉 And you’ve arrived during the one week of the year when we need AC over here.
I’ve never had A/C or blown heat in all my trips over there, but there were a handful of times (like you said) that it would make a lot of difference. I found that people on the British Isles, in general, have a higher tolerance for stagnant, damp air than most Americans do — ignoring temperature for a moment.
I feel a little uneasy in any situation without forced air taking place (either central or mini-split, plus ceiling fans). It’s just something that exists in 90% of your day here, so being in a home that’s completely quiet and still — even with underfloor heating — is almost unsettling, but also very peaceful. And that’s why we’re leaders in CO2 emissions…
The last time we visited the UK we expected cool damp weather just like Portlad Oregon, instead we hit a heat wave. The Gore-Tex saw very little use, and the polarfleece got no use. At least they got the hang of central heating by the 90s.
Where I live now, the English would turn into puddles, although Australians would probably be OK.
Having not been a regular patron of Timmy Ho’s in the better part of a decade, I admit my curiosity would get the best of me. Having tried McD’s and Subway while in Brazil, it’s crazy to see what changes from country to country.
But since I’m still stuck within the surly bonds of Ontario, I’ll continue to avoid that giver of gut rot known as Tim’s.
I got to go to Germany once upon a time, and we all got a kick out of ordering a McDonald’s Kids Meal with a beer. I know, such an American tourist thing…
If one is in a rough financial situation but needs a car, and old, ugly, unloved car is often the wisest choice. And for a mere $1100? I’d buy it in a heartbeat. Where I live, an $1100 car probably won’t even drive home from the seller’s location.
For context, £800 is a months rent somewhere cheap in the UK, or about one week’s rent in London
Where I live, Las Vegas, 1 month’s rent on a decent 1BR apartment is about $1500, and a person would be hard-pressed to find a car that could be daily-driven “out of the box” for that money. Anybody in other places want to chime in on that comparison?
$800 here is a month rent in a neighborhood where that beater might not be yours for long.
That would cover a small apartment here, a modest house is about £1800
You know, the UK has good food now. Why in the world did you go to Tim Hortons FGS?
I wouldn’t even go to a Tims in a third world country, let alone a second world one like Great Britain.
#1 rule when traveling – no chain restaurants! Especially North American franchise exports I could get at home.
When I went to visit my uncle in Florida I tried to stick to that but he lost his vision a couple years ago and I was driving him to all the places my aunt wouldn’t. Which mostly meant fast food.
I love chains, but it has to be a chain from where you’re visiting. There was a time when a British McD’s would have lamb burgers and other interesting things to try, but their menu seems to be very generically global now.
I still like Pret, Gregg’s, and a few others. It’s a nice break from US chains, at least. Or find the weirdest triangle sandwich at the petrol station. Oooh, Spotted Dick and Crab!
The revenge of the colonies on their former masters.
I’m stuck looking at Chucky on my coinage and $20 bill, the Limeys get the treat of munching the mediocre processed ‘food’ and ‘coffee’ that my countrymen buy in rather disturbing quantities because they’re hoser bumpkins with absolutely no sense of taste.
You comment about this scary toilet and then don’t bother to show it to us? Come on! With a daily feature called the morning dump, we need to see where you’re taking yours!
I fully expect a toilet review from Torch is incoming.
Ah of course. We need the expert opinion, Thomas is just the resident toilet enthusiast, not the accredited expert who has used primitive NASA methods of evacuating bowels.
I wasn’t aware that toilet sizes are variable.
This is why I need more info about it!
It’s probably just a bidet.
I sincerely hope he’s not pooping into a bidet!
Exotic dining in Europeland. That’s how the royals do it. I hope you extended your pinkie. No, I said pinkie.
do they sell timbits in the UK?
Yes. At least in the TH next to Central Station in Glasgow.
The rear end of the Rodius strongly reminds me of the 4th generation Nissan Quest.
The styling inspiration for the front and rear seems to have come from a Speedo?
The second Thomas said the Rodious isn’t that bad, I could feel Uncle Adrian’s withering glare all the way over here in Oklahoma.
Interestingly, the tornado sirens went off as I was reading this. They go off every Wednesday at noon, but still…
He went and hid in his room to write this so I couldn’t see what he was typing. Also, he hasn’t driven the fucking thing (although I did make sure to bring the bag of shame).
He said flying out of Terminal 3, so I assume Air Transat. Any vehicle will seem not bad after a flight with them.
“Bag of shame?” Is that what’s on the chair next to you at Timmy’s?
It’s the kind of “not so bad” that you say when it’s something you’ll never have to actually deal with on a daily basis.
Connecting thru Bermuda? I say, just stay in Bermuda.
Yeah oh darn, missed the connecting flight, guess I’m stuck here a couple days now… Oh no… They have fascinating cars there too so it would be well worth the detour!
Mysteriously disappears…
Damn triangle…
“And assuming I figure out how to affix an Autopian grille badge to the Rodius, we should soon be even easier to spot.”
That will guarantee your Rodius won’t be confused for any of the other Rodiusises at Goodwood!
I’m excited to read about this year’s event and see pictures of course, maybe one day I’ll make the trip and attend in person.
Why do I think that Adrian is not in agreement with the Rodius being “not that bad”?
My immediate thought was that Adrian might want a minute or thirty for a rebuttal.
It’s too hot and I can’t be bothered.
I mean, you already said what you said. Any rebuttal can just be a shaking index finger pointing at your original post.