Home » Jason Is A Bad Friend And I Can’t Stand It Here

Jason Is A Bad Friend And I Can’t Stand It Here

Tfts I Hate It Here Ts

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Forrest
Member
Forrest
3 months ago

I love the topshots on the site, Peter. What tools do you use to make them?

AssMatt
Member
AssMatt
3 months ago
Reply to  Forrest

It’s like he’s got a whole shop for photos!

Widgetsltd
Member
Widgetsltd
3 months ago

We love you just the way you are, Peter! (now STFU)

Last edited 3 months ago by Widgetsltd
Sofonda Wagons
Member
Sofonda Wagons
3 months ago

I get it you whiney little bitch! That’s why although I’m poor I still subscribe to this web site. I want to make sure they can pay ungrateful little crybabies like you! I will eat another can of cat food to pay for my sub so they can employ little crybabies like you. I hate it here too! NOT. Quit crying baby. Did I just nail that dry sarcasm thing? Oh, rude ass Adrian from the UK, where art though about now to comment?

Johnologue
Member
Johnologue
3 months ago

The tape/paint over the icon doesn’t remove the beeper, and that’s the real “problem” of the seatbelt reminder. It’s not enough to hide the little red man, you must silence him!
Anyways, “above that sort of humor”, he says, ignoring The Autopian’s favorite tire brand.
https://www.theautopian.com/holy-crap-you-can-buy-motorcycle-tires-called-fckstones/

Iotashan
Member
Iotashan
3 months ago

start hitting Adrian with 67 jokes

Carbon Fiber Sasquatch
Member
Carbon Fiber Sasquatch
3 months ago

Peter, you and I fill the same position at our jobs. I lay out comedy gold for my coworkers daily. And I barely get a chuckle!

But hey, that’s showbiz baby!

Scott
Member
Scott
3 months ago

Much of that is very funny if it matters Peter. 🙂

Clark B
Member
Clark B
3 months ago

Speaking of 69 jokes, the mileage on my Sportwagen hit 69,696 yesterday. Too bad there isn’t a tenths digit.

SlowCarFast
Member
SlowCarFast
3 months ago
Reply to  Peter Vieira

Well done.

Harveydersehen
Member
Harveydersehen
3 months ago
Reply to  Clark B

Nice.

Brockstar
Member
Brockstar
3 months ago
Reply to  Clark B

Nice. Some day I hope to own a car new enough to experience that ODO gold.

Balloondoggle
Member
Balloondoggle
3 months ago

I know your pain. Every time I’m overlooked for COTD I just want to strangle Mercedes. This is my best work people!

Mechjaz
Member
Mechjaz
3 months ago
Reply to  Balloondoggle

I’d stop short of strangling, but I definitely have an unhealthy attachment to a few really, really well written posts I’ve put up that lost out to the equivalent of “orange you glad I didn’t say banana.”

I’m self aware enough to know when I’m McLaren or just GM – definitely more often GM – but it stings when your F1/P1 loses out to an Equinox or a Terrain or whatever.

AssMatt
Member
AssMatt
3 months ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

Preach!

SlowCarFast
Member
SlowCarFast
3 months ago
Reply to  Balloondoggle

Just like stand-up comedy, timing and setting up your audience is everything.
To score in the comments section, you need to be early and the joke land just right.

Dodsworth
Member
Dodsworth
3 months ago

Your friends are just jealous. Anyone want ice cream? They have 69 flavors! Hahaha!

Totally not a robot
Member
Totally not a robot
3 months ago

I, for one, greatly appreciate your sophomoric jokes and fucking-laced tirades. I’m sorry you hate it here, Pete, but I fucking love it here.

5VZ-F'Ever and Ever, Amen
Member
5VZ-F'Ever and Ever, Amen
3 months ago

The italic nice re: the 69 Porsche was simply brilliant. We appreciate you even if the Autopitrolls don’t!

SlowCarFast
Member
SlowCarFast
3 months ago

To be pedantic, I’m not sure how anyone would physically accomplish a 69 in a Porsche 911.

Stef Schrader
Member
Stef Schrader
3 months ago
Reply to  SlowCarFast

Where there’s a will, there’s an ever-embiggening model and a flexible consenting partner, I suppose.

Finally, a use for the 992’s chonk…I guess.

Last edited 3 months ago by Stef Schrader
StillNotATony
Member
StillNotATony
3 months ago

Peter, I feel you. I, too, am an artist in a company full of uncultured swine.

They made me take the Gumby keychain off the Sikorsky S-92 cockpit I drew. I have been here TWENTY YEARS, and it is STILL the only aircraft I have depicted that apparently has keys!! So of COURSE I put a keychain on it!!!

But nooOOOOoooo! All those military types might think we don’t take our job simulating aircraft seriously enough.

And showing 68 stages of ice development, deicing boot deployment, followed by ice shattering and falling off is BARELY ADEQUATE TO PROPERLY AND REALISTICALLY DEPICT WHAT IS HAPPENING AND TOTALLY NOT OVERKILL!!!

Phillistines, all of ’em…

Laika
Member
Laika
3 months ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

If I flew a Sikorsky S-92 I would definitely get a Gumby keychain for it.

Cars? I've owned a few
Member
Cars? I've owned a few
3 months ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

I flew in a Chinook that had a pair of fuzzy dice hanging from its rear-view mirror.

Nlpnt
Member
Nlpnt
3 months ago

The Chinook manual should show two different layouts labeled, straightfacedly, “Toyota pickup chassis” and “Dodge van chassis”.

Cars? I've owned a few
Member
Cars? I've owned a few
3 months ago
Reply to  Nlpnt

I don’t quite follow. One of the TV stations I worked at had a very well-used Bell 206 JetRanger. It had at least 14,000 hours on it. Of course, all the components that needed to be replaced at intervals, had been a number of times.

One of the pilots flown quite a few hours in Chinooks and before retiring from the military, he was an instructor.

When I first flew with him, we exchanged stories and I told him I had flown non-stop from coast to coast in a Chinook (the one with the dice and two very young pilots) back in the mid-80s. He replied “bullshit!” I explained to him I was in Panama and he laughed his butt off.

Nlpnt
Member
Nlpnt
3 months ago

It’s a reference to the Chinook campers.

Taargus Taargus
Member
Taargus Taargus
3 months ago
Reply to  StillNotATony

We used to sneak fun things onto the mudflaps of trailers for shipping details all the time. We consider these to be fun easter eggs and the are non-negotiable.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy, and all of that.

Rich Mason
Rich Mason
3 months ago

Nobody wants to freeze to death in a snowbank.

Ottomottopean
Member
Ottomottopean
3 months ago

I dislike when people think so literally so I’m with you on the pliers. I think that this was a good way to depict the whole seatbelt issue.

Also I’ll throw you a bone and give props. Dude your top shots are the first thing I go to. I look into these deeply before I read the article title. I love them so well done!

Peter d
Member
Peter d
3 months ago
Reply to  Ottomottopean

The simple solution would have been to put a piece of black tape in the jaws of the pliers. While in real life I would probably use a long handle set of forceps, you could use the pliers to place the tape. You are probably too young to remember Click & Clavk joking about black tape, but it was a common theme on Car Talk.

Mercedes Streeter
Mercedes Streeter
3 months ago

The Mercedes lol appears again!

lol

Totally not a robot
Member
Totally not a robot
3 months ago

Damn, coming into the comments just to drop another “lol”. Brutal. Ice-cold.

Mechjaz
Member
Mechjaz
3 months ago

I think these are brilliant for TFTS. The pliers were kind of an abstract thing to read into the seatbelt thing, but watching your meltdown and the subsequent pile-on of infuriating inattention is exactly the sort of shenanigous content I look for in TFTS.

I love this feature so much.

Jeff Fite
Member
Jeff Fite
3 months ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

“Shenanigous?”

…brilliant!

Squirrelmaster
Member
Squirrelmaster
3 months ago

This reminds me of a dear friend and formed coworker I have. When we met we immediately found a kindred spirit in our dry, sarcastic personalities. We took every opportunity to openly mock one another, striving for quality AND quantity, to the point that our public animosity finally got called out in a managers meeting. We just stared at everyone confused, until we realized that no one else was in on our jokes and literally all of our coworkers thought we deeply hated one another. A decade later we still fondly reminisce about how much joy their confusion brought us.

Jb996
Member
Jb996
3 months ago
Reply to  Squirrelmaster

I’ve been in that position. It’s hilarious.
I also have a coworker who I get along well with and have a deep respect for.
We’re also the only two who will openly antagonize and insult the other, but that’s because we get the joke.

Rich Mason
Rich Mason
3 months ago
Reply to  Squirrelmaster

This. All fun and games till you get yanked into the HR office for a “review.”

Shooting Brake
Member
Shooting Brake
3 months ago

Hahahaha

AssMatt
Member
AssMatt
3 months ago
Reply to  Peter Vieira

You know we see you Pete!

Fuzzyweis
Member
Fuzzyweis
3 months ago

I feel like the issue is your audience. DT is pop culture reference agnostic, Torch is…I mean you’ve seen the cab video right? Adrian is British, and a cat person so there’s that, Matt’s busy running numbers like a Vegas bookie trying to work out a ‘beaded seat cushion’ level of membership, Lewin’s making 80s music videos because apparently they’re 30 light years behind us down there and still get Mtv. Mercedes I’m guessing is on vacation or possibly on a trip so may be missing your shenanigans.

Don’t stop never stopping Peter!

Mercedes Streeter
Mercedes Streeter
3 months ago
Reply to  Fuzzyweis

I’m usually head down and writing unless I get a notification from Slack. Sometimes I come back and whole conversations have gone on without me. Oh my.

Phuzz
Member
Phuzz
3 months ago
Reply to  Fuzzyweis

I regret to inform you that the 1980’s-90’s are cool again, so Lewin could well be right on the curve.
I work near a big university, so I get a bit of a peek into what the kids think is cool, and having lived through those decades, it’s weird what aspects are brought back.

Fuzzyweis
Member
Fuzzyweis
3 months ago
Reply to  Phuzz

Yeah they’re definitely on the upswing, I see a company making Hypercolor style t-shirts again, waiting on parachute pants to come back, they were so comfy.

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
3 months ago

Wicker Man was good! Pliers were a good initial idea, but a piece of tape is the better final resolution. Agree with Adrian about 69. Those kinds of jokes are the ones I pretend I don’t see. Plus, I don’t get the persistence of the 69 thing. Maybe I’ve dated women that are too short in regards to myself, but meh. It’s also distracting and the ergonomics are terrible while I don’t feel I’m really connecting well with my partner and I can’t help but think that nobody’s enjoying looking at my balls that closely and nobody I’ve been with has seemed excited about that position since high school and . . .. Anyway, it’s the kind of joke that reminds me of a middle schooler trying to sound edgy or an Elon X post when he tries to be funny (as opposed to whiny or making outlandish prewar Popular Mechanics level year 2000 predictions).

Eephus
Member
Eephus
3 months ago
Reply to  Peter Vieira

I think it’s time for you to move on to “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID”

AssMatt
Member
AssMatt
3 months ago
Reply to  Eephus
Last edited 3 months ago by AssMatt
Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
3 months ago
Reply to  Peter Vieira

I guess, but then to me it just become a joke that’s beaten to death like a Saturday Night Live skit that was funny-adjacent at the first gag reveal, but progresses to annoying by the sixth repeat in forty seconds. In the right circumstances and used sparingly, I can see an ironic use for something like “that’s what she said” as done in The Office (as Eephus mentions) where the character always tried to be funny, but largely failed (and then was also used by other characters as a way to bond/sympathize). With that, though, it was a bad joke that had largely died when it was brought back. The number jokes (also, 420), OTOH, refuse to go away. Beavis and Butthead could get away with laughing at that, though having two idiots think it’s funny makes the joke the target rather than the punchline.

Not that I’m a comedian and I hope I don’t appear to be jumping on you about it, it so happens to be the exact thing I spent a long commute thinking about a little while back and I can’t imagine anyone in my life wants to hear my long, boring opinion on these bottom level jokes, so when this post popped up, it triggered a spillage like an overturned septic truck.

Nlpnt
Member
Nlpnt
3 months ago
Reply to  Cerberus

Speaking of SNL, I stand by my theory that the baby who had his bris in the back seat of that ’78 Mercury is Torch.

Johnologue
Member
Johnologue
3 months ago
Reply to  Cerberus

I mean, most people who laugh at “69” don’t even smoke marijuana, it’s just funny for being “the weed number”! /j

Hotdoughnutsnow
Hotdoughnutsnow
3 months ago

That was a very juvenile joke, Peter.

Heh heh… “Peter”

Donald Petersen
Member
Donald Petersen
3 months ago

Tee hee! Nuts made of hot dough! ????

10001010
Member
10001010
3 months ago

“Hahaha”

Mechjaz
Member
Mechjaz
3 months ago

Hey baby, you play with the Torch, you’re gonna get burned. *Torch lights° a cigarette’ and walks away*
°not lights so much as eats, because
‘it’s not really a cigarette as much as a sandwich

Nlpnt
Member
Nlpnt
3 months ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

What kind of sandwich? Carolina BBQ brisket from the last time the rabbi fed the flock?
https://opposite-lock.com/topic/131031/a-rabbi-at-a-pick-pickin

CUlater
Member
CUlater
3 months ago
Reply to  Nlpnt

Hopefully from Lexington BBQ… mmmmm!

Rad Barchetta
Member
Rad Barchetta
3 months ago

“we’re above that sort of humor here”

Wut? That sort of humor is precisely why I’m here! Try getting Motor Trend to publish as many poop-related articles. Not gonna happen! (Unless they are AI generated, of course)

Spikersaurusrex
Member
Spikersaurusrex
3 months ago

I love the Wicker Man – Baguette. It was perfect. I figured David was LOLOLing at the question of whether he was going to blog that day.

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