It seems like every kid wants to be a social media personality. Before that, every kid wanted to be an actor, and before that, every kid wanted to be a rock star. Fame, fortune, trashed hotel rooms, exotic cars, and cushy residuals … the high life of days gone by was more than just a name in lights, it was a dream. A dream somewhat lampooned by Joe Walsh in “Life’s Been Good,” even if Walsh seemed to have his own tendencies. What does this have to do with cars? Well, the song mentions two, and now it’s time to see which one’s best.
Like many aging rock stars, some Maseratis and limousines from the ’70s have seen time take its toll. Shiny paintwork weathers, gleaming chrome tarnishes, deferred maintenance piles up, you know the drill. [Ed note: to his credit, Sammy Hagar kept this particular Ferrari in tip-top shape – Pete] However, when I found a questionable example of each up for sale locally on Facebook Marketplace, I knew what I had to do.
Admittedly, yesterday’s cars were ones you’d more likely have seen at the record company office than parked out front of an A-list rockstar’s mansion. A Cadillac Fleetwood Brougham D’Elegance and a Dodge Colt, two very different ways of living life in the ’80s.
Unsurprisingly, the torn-up seats and ran-when-parked status of the Colt meant it didn’t stand much of a chance against the monolithic Cadillac. A $4,200 Fleetwood Brougham D’Elegance is both physically and metaphorically a lot of car for the money, especially in black. Splash the cash, get yourself a black coat, white shoes, and a black hat, and you’d look like a certified time bomb. Anyway, Rancid’s the wrong decade for today. Time to truly solve the Joe Walsh conundrum the only way we know how around here.
1973 Maserati Indy – $20,000 Canadian
Engine/drivetrain: 4.9-liter V8, three-speed automatic, rear-wheel-drive.
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
Odometer reading: 30,000 miles.
Operational status: Who knows?
Right, time for the first side of the equation, a Maserati. Not a boxy Biturbo or an early Quattroporte with the wretched DuoSelect gearbox either, a proper classic with styling by Vignale. In 1969, Maserati launched the Indy, named after its success in the 1939 and 1940 Indy 500. With two-plus-two packaging, a V8 up front, and sharp looks, it was a serious continent crusher for runs from Bern to Monaco.
Of the roughly 1,104 Maserati Indys made between 1968 and 1975, only about 900 came with this, the full-fat 4.9-liter V8. Pumping out 320 horsepower, it could propel this big grand tourer to a top speed of 165 mph, heady stuff for the early 1970s. Mind you, this particular Indy is equipped with the three-speed BorgWarner automatic transmission, and if that doesn’t temper your expectations, just look at the barn find state of this thing. There’s no mention of whether it runs or drives, but judging by the deflated tires and missing gear selector, it probably doesn’t do anything close to 185 at the moment.
Rust? Check. Dents? Check. A slightly complex high-pressure braking system from Citroën and an interior in need of complete restoration? Check and check. Look, there’s a reason why a nice Maserati Indy goes for between $40,000 and $90,000, while this one’s listed for $20,000 Canadian. You’re going to need to put some serious work in. Still, if you’re exceptionally skilled in the garage, this is a gorgeous ’70s Italian grand tourer you might be able to afford.
1972 Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow 10-Passenger Limousine – $19,995
Engine/drivetrain: 6.75-liter V8, three-speed automatic, rear-wheel-drive.
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada.
Odometer reading:
Operational status: It runs.
Then again, maybe you want to own a limo and ride in the back? Well, this 1972 Rolls-Royce Silver Shadow is certainly classier than a stretched Hummer or Town Car. We’re talking about Rolls-Royce’s first unibody car, a machine that sold in the tens of thousands over its long 15-year production run, elongated like Laffy Taffy.
Measuring an incredible 24 feet long with a wheelbase the size of Delaware, the seller claims this Silver Shadow is truly one-of-a-kind. We’re talking dual moonroofs, gold trim, a full Sony audiovisual system, the works. Sure, the 220-horsepower 6.75-liter V8 probably won’t make for brisk progress, but this machine will certainly make a statement. What’s more, the seller claims it’s recently received new points and rebuilt carburetors. It’s always nice when a project fires right up.
So, what needs to be done to get this ship-sized Roller in fighting shape? Well, some bodywork and trim repair is needed, but the biggest obvious issue seems to be the state of that interior. Some of the leather is looking pretty haggard, but the seller is including 10 yards of faux-alligator with the sale. Not real alligator, that’s cruel. That being said, the low resolution of the photos in the ad make it hard to judge just how much bodywork is necessary.
So, which side of the “Life’s Been Good” spectrum do you stand on? Would you rather restore the rare Maserati or ride around town in a Rolls-Royce limousine?
Top graphic images: Facebook Marketplace sellers
theres not a strong enough UV light to kill off the biology that can be found in that limo.
I’ll take my imaginary money and see if the local Nissan dealer will part with a leftover Sentra for $20k.Those cars aren’t worth what the tow to the junkyard would cost.
If not for these asinine tariffs, that Maserati would make for a good buy for someone in the States. 20k loonies is 14500ish eagle bucks give or take a few. But the uncertainty of what mad Uncle Sam would want for importing it or whether it would even be allowed puts a kibosh on either one for me.
I don’t want to even imagine what’s in the carpet in the rear of that Rolls. LS swap the Maserati.
I was thinking along the same lines.
Perhaps among the least expensive ways to get that Maserati operational again would be an EV conversion.
All I can think about here is “if you die in Canada, you die in real life!”
https://xkcd.com/180/
Sorry, I think I’ll just invest my money in something more sensible today, like maybe Enron or Sears.
Shitbox Showdown: Joe Walsh Edition
I hear MoviePass is looking for investors
If you can’t fix it, feature it.
Mad Max-ify the Maserati. Strip the interior, lift with bigger tires, replace the breaks.
So, replace the breaks with more/different breaks? Can’t be any worse than all the other broken things….
Is get fucked too strong of a reaction? Nahhhhh
Say it in your best Matt Berry voice for the proper effect.
Sometimes you just have to let something die
Thank you once again Hundal, for confirming to me that the GTA is full of sellers on crack.
I’ll take the Rolls, cause I can actually make that Six & Three-Quarter roll. That Maserati needs 100k to be a 70k car.
Interestingly, I have someone coming from Mississauga this weekend to buy my old w126. Then stage-two of my master plan can begin.
You serious Clark?
Either one of these will bankrupt you. At least you could live in the Rolls after they come for your house.
Rolls.
Make it a Grey-Poupon themed donk.
Rolls.
I want to sit in the back and fire people over a permanently-installed car phone with a coiled handset cord.
https://media1.tenor.com/m/jhhbks23GHAAAAAd/ryan-gosling-crazy-stupid-love.gif
Maserati sounds like it needs a heart transplant – drop it as a shell onto something cheap with a functional heart, like a Mustang.
Or an old Beetle floorpan, but swap the engine for an EJ20 or 25 first.
Remove the backseat, and Viola!
Mid-engine Italian classic with a crazy boxer sound.
Not even in a Pretendland.
Maserati takes up less space and somehow looks like it’s had fewer mice running around inside.
Big fat neither! But in the name of the game, I guess the Maser.
Is Mercedes’ bus still available? I’d rather take that and take whatever is left off the $20k to get that thing registered and running than either of these. If I had to, I’d pick the Rolls; both are ridiculously overpriced but at least that one starts.
Set aside some money for the correct license to drive it.
You should add Mercedes Disaster Bus as option C on the poll. Even after reading her article about why no one should ever buy it, I’d still take it over these two in a heartbeat.
Voted for the cheaper option. I want nothing to do with either of these.
Savvy.
The owner of that Maserati has one of those 4th Gen camaro-based 57 belair retrofit kit cars in the background. There’s the cool level of weird, then there’s that. I think I’m going to keep my 20k today…first time I’ve really had a strong “neither” vote.
I saw that and threw up in my mouth a little.
The Maserati could be cool in a Roadkill sorta way, stab a big v8 in it possibly with a supercharger or turbo hanging out of the hood, get the brakes functional and just leave the rest. Still way overpriced though.
I was thinking the Maserati would make an interesting Icon Derelict project. Modern powertrain and mechanicals, custom interior, fix anything structural, preserve the (ahem) “patina”.