It’s past the middle of January, which means that if you’re far enough north, you’re likely currently surrounded by eleventy billion tons of fluffy white nonsense. Mother Nature’s landlord special, just coat everything white. Look, you can only shovel so much and power-wash a daily driver so many times until you start to get grumpy counting down the days until your summer toy can come out to play. You might even start to take shortcuts, like not shovelling off that unused portion of driveway. However, there’s one shortcut you should never take, and that’s using a snowblower to clean off your car.
It’s an absurd premise. Back in the days of dial-up, the only useful snowblowers around were gasoline-powered. Not only were they heavy enough to throw your back out if you tried lifting them several feet in the air, but they’d cave in even the skateboard-thick sheetmetal of a chrome-bumpered yank tank if you succeeded at hoisting one onto a hood. However, modern solutions like powerful electric motors create modern problems for the rash and hasty, as one individual in Ontario going by the Instagram handle jacobsgoldenn seems to have found out.
The hapless victim of these antics is a facelifted E90 BMW 3 Series, as evidenced by the elephant ear mirrors and bumper-mounted amber retroreflectors. What you’re about to watch is unquestionably cringeworthy, tempered only by the knowledge that the xDrive badge on the fender indicates this will likely eventually be a parts car to keep rear-wheel-drive examples alive. The weapon of choice? Some sort of corded electric snow-thrower, I guess.
Yep, that device is supposed to be used on the ground, not on a car. Spinning blades aren’t good for the paint or panels, and that’s before you get into what an impact from them could potentially do to glass, or how they might pull wiper blades clean off of their mounts. Indeed, the caption on the video is “POV: you cracked your windshield with the snowblower.” Setting aside how nobody on social media seems to know what “POV” means anymore, you can probably guess what sort of shot comes next.
Hey, there’s supposed to be a wiper blade there. Where’d that go? Might it have been consumed by the snow blower? I don’t know, but the clips that hold these wiper blades on require a sort of lever motion to remove. It’s not horribly difficult to guess what may have removed that clip.
Oh, and would you look at that, cracks radiating out from roughly where the edge of the wiper arm would sit on the windscreen. Is it possible this is all just ragebait and the windshield was already cracked? Look at that other windscreen crack, you be the judge. Mind you, something tells me the extra carnage might not have been expected. After all, who carries around spare E90 wiper clips?
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You know what would’ve been easier? Using a brush. Preferably one of those foam snow brushes because they keep performing for absolute ages. I’ve had mine for a decade, and it’s still in service, putting in work. Light, cheap, easy to use, effective, non-windshield-cracking, what more could you want? While I won’t stop you from taking a snowblower to your paint, a foam brush really is the way to go. Just trust me on this one.
Top graphic image: Instagram/jacobsgoldenn
His gene pool needs to stop at him, we don’t need any more idiots out on the road. Deserves everything he gets.
My sister once used a snow shovel to clean off her very nice Saab. She is brilliant in so many ways, but not so much with mechanical interfaces.
If you coat your car in WD-40 before it snows, it won’t stick!
-The internet, probably.
You know all thos AI chatrobots use these forums as source material, don’t you?
As a reminder, the standard WD-40 deteriorates plastic. This includes rubbers, but also paint. What remains will be porous and atract the freezing water once the WD-40 is gone. This leeds to freezing doors, hinges, locks etc. Your car will be ‘addicted’ to the stuff. Regular use will keep away the symptoms, but long term problems are created.
WD-40 as a brand also sells silicon spray, which you should use on your rubbers, locks etc. Probably this is why they still clame WD-40 has so many uses.
A battery operated leaf blower is the better answer.
Someone misread the memo.
Snow blower? I always just use a flame thrower to remove snow from my car.
I was driving I-40 across the Texas panhandle in January of 23, stopped at a truck stop and wander all over before asking “Where do you keep your ice scrapers?”
“Honey this is Texas, we don’t have them.” was the reply!
the number one thing that came to mind was “why were they filming?” this is content creator rage bait.
One of those nylon string weed whackers might work.
Assuming you have a dedicated snow beater car.
A bet you could do a decent job with a hedge trimmer.
The sno brum rules. Mine finally succumbed this year after 15.
Snow-blow-bro there is definitely on one. That’s some pretty fierce determination to get past the top of the windshield and scrape the shit out of the roof. I like how the BMW appears to be flashing its lights in protest.
I guess I’ve technically done this, as in using a snowblower to remove snow from a vehicle’s metal surface. Except, it was from the snow-filled bed of a ’99 F250, and a lift-gate was what moved the snow-blower into position.
I mean, you aren’t wrong but it’s a truck bed. I’ve shoveled snow out of my truck bed lots of times and it doesn’t do more than scratch the plastic bedliner.
For those of you who are going to say “leave it in for weight”, my truck gets parked in a garage and the melting snow makes a hell of a mess…
Look at that side profile in the long coat and face covering. Maybe that’s just 3 small children standing on each others shoulders
Vincent Adultman needed to get to the business factory.
Just use a big pot of boiling water like a normal person.
/s
And follow up by using a hammer to break off any remaining ice… LOL
The first time I filled the gas tank of my car after I moved to California, I took great pleasure in throwing my ice scraper and snow brush right in the trash.
When I was twelve I thought it would be brilliant to add some anti-freeze to the windshield washer reservoir. I was twelve. I remember my age because my father kept yelling that a twelve-year-old should know better.
I buy summer and winter washer fluids.
I don’t understand.
They sold dedicated concentrated anti-freeze for the washer system back in the days.
Off course, engine coolant has a somewhat greasy quality which creates a nasty film on the windscreen.
I was older than twelve when I found that out…
The mere fact that he thought putting a heavy machine on the hood of his 3 series while videoing himself tells me all I need to know.
I should do a video myself: “Clickbait and How To Avoid It.”
I was assuming the person taking the video was just an observer – not a part of the crime. I’m impressed that there wasn’t more damage
And perhaps that’s the case.
I don’t click on these things because I don’t want to encourage this stuff.
Idiots. Nothing more to be said.
Today I learned there is such a thing as a foam snow brush. Now I have to get one.
If this isn’t rage bait, or just a “hey this is funny” type thing….That person shouldn’t be allowed to make any choices for anyone else ever. And they shouldn’t be allowed in public with any sort of machine that weights over 50lbs.
I’ve said for years, and still believe, that passing a basic IQ test should be a required step in getting a driver’s license, just like the vision test. I do understand however that if it came to pass there would be a monumental economic collapse from everyone having to stay home.
I believe the same for the ability to have children.
Having children forces you to learn things and stuff. Dogs are not a substitute.
Unfortunately, it doesn’t force everybody. Nowadays, there are plenty of examples of parents not having learned ‘things or stuff’.
Funny how a lot of them live in Florida.
I solved the problem by moving to Florida.
By your own admission, you voluntarily moved to Florida. Now you have Florida problems, and Florida Man to deal with.
Nothing to worry about. We love it here.
I use either a plastic grain shovel that never sees dirt or my battery powered leafblower to clear cars off.
I love my foam snowbrush! It’s sturdy enough to move the wet, icy snow we tend to get in this area. As a bonus, it has an extra-long handle with an ice scraper on the end. I do still have a designated snow brush – it was sold as a car wash brush, so the bristle construction is different from a typical snow brush – but I only use that to remove the fluffy frost that accumulates when I’ve scraped ice off the windshield.
If it’s the right kind of snow, I’m out there using my 40 volt leaf-blower. Nothing gets the snow off the cars quicker and I can easily get the top of the truck too. The brush only comes out if it’s heavy, wet snow, or there’s too much.
But yeah, a snowblower is just stupid.
I feel like POV has come to mean “check this shit out”
So this is what it feels like to be the old man yelling at clouds.
Or, “hold my beer and watch this.”
{rant}
[today] Hey everybody, look at me on social media! I’m an idiot!!! I’m great because I’m a moron!!
[flashback ten years ago] watching Jackass. Has not read a book since tenth grade, and that was Cliffs Notes.
{/rant}
I mean, our hapless protagonist probably looked at the plastic or rubber auger and thought “well, that won’t do anything.” Without realizing how fast those things spin.
We’ve all had dumb ideas at some point.