Home » Meet The Amazing Lady Who Built Up The Ultimate BMW Clownshoe Collection

Meet The Amazing Lady Who Built Up The Ultimate BMW Clownshoe Collection

Insane Clownshoe Posse
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As car enthusiasts, we tend to have a lot of love for a lot of cars. And yet, at the same time, we’re often drawn to a single manufacturer, or even a single model, above all others. This might inspire us to buy a nice example of our chosen idol, and maybe a parts car or two if we’re so lucky. Valeria Giordano is no average car enthusiast, though.

The apple of Valeria’s eye is the BMW Z3 Coupe. You might know it better as the Clownshoe, as it’s known to its small but diehard fanbase. She didn’t just buy one, or two, though. She’s amassed a collection of eight examples in all the colors of the Clownshoe rainbow. Speaking to The Autopian, it’s obvious Valeria has a deep and abiding love for the model. Beyond that, though, she makes it her business to share her cars with the community, going above and beyond to let others experience these grand vehicles.

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Valeria’s love of cars started at a young age, and she dived head-first into the auto world. “Auto shop in high school had only one girl, me.” she says. “It was the ’70s, so it was very unusual. I had to be twice as good as the guys to measure up.” Citing her love of tinkering and taking things apart, she pursued a career as an Electrical and Mechanical Field Service Technician prior to having children.

Her career saw her working with the Navy and Coast Guard as a civilian contractor, as well as working in Boston’s commercial fishing industry. Once she started a family of her own, she quickly passed the enthusiast bug on to her kids. Regular trips to local weekend car shows quickly had them identifying all the cars present. ” Twice a year we went to the Exotics Show or the International Auto Show,” says Valeria. “When they started school I would have them excused for the day for a ‘family crisis’ and we would go to the show.”

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It’s a rad T-shirt, no?

It was 1999 when Valeria first came across the Clownshoe, and it was love at first sight. “Oh my word! I became obsessed,” she explains. ” I had never seen a more beautiful car in my life, it reminded me of the Jaguar in the movie Harold and Maude, which is still my favorite movie.” It’s an easy resemblance to see, given the long-hood shooting brake design shared between the two.

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After a move to New Hampshire and just under a decade later, a chance occurrence would see Valeria get her shot at buying her dream car. A police car ran a stop sign, totaling her Subaru. “He wasn’t on an emergency, just negligent. The chief of police was right behind him and saw the whole thing!” she says. With a settlement check in hand, she was in the market for a new car. It was time to hunt down a Z3 Coupe after all this time.

Retelling the story, Valeria’s enthusiasm is infectious. She explains how in 2008, she came to buy her first example at age 52. “I looked on Craigslist and I found two for sale in New England! One was in Boston and the other was in Holderness, NH. The town I live in!!! What are the chances of that??? It was meant to be!!” says Valeria, using the right amount of punctuation to explain her joy. In the process, she struck up a friendship with Pat, a service manager at a local indy shop. “He was very helpful guiding me at the start, I learned so much,” says Valeria.

Driving her first Clownshoe around, she began to realize she actually owned something special. “When I started getting notes left on my windshield and people asking to take pictures or coming to my door to ask about it, I did some research and saw that I really had a rare gem on my hands,” she says. Within a year, she’d bought herself two more.

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Valeria pictured with one of her flock.

Having come into some money via a home sale, Valeria would regularly spend time on M Coupe Buyers Guide and Z3 Coupe Buyers Guide to see what was on the market. She bought a few more, and her collection swelled. Sadly, a few years ago, her husband passed away, and she would later end up selling some of the cars. “I wasn’t thinking straight, and regretted it immediately,” she laments.

Wanting to build her collection back up, she set out to buy more Clownshoes whenever she had the cash available. Today, her collection stands at eight. “They are all different colors, no point in having two the same,” she says. In turn, she developed a logo for her collection. She refers to it as the “Insane Clownshoe Posse” because Valeria is really cool.

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You gotta dig it.

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Plenty of people maintain single-make or single-car collections, and keep them highly polished behind locked garage doors. Valeria is altogether a more social sort, though, and she loves to share her cars with the people. “People stop by my house almost daily because I have the whole spectrum of cars, plus my house is purple,” she says. Many people ask to buy the cars despite the “Not For Sale” signs she has posted up. She doesn’t mind the attention one bit though. “I let them take selfies sitting in them, sometimes even take them for a ride or let them drive one. What kind of jerk would have this type of roadside attraction then scare off gawkers?” It’s a beautiful ethos from a generous soul.

Valeria’s collection is very much a living thing. “They are far from museum quality vehicles,” she explains. ” I have a couple of pristine low mileage ones, but they are meant to be driven, so I don’t pamper them.” The cars are regularly out and about serving the community, too. With the Stick Shift Driving Academy, she actually uses them to teach people how to drive manuals, too. “Call me crazy, but I think I know how to teach so they don’t burn out my clutch. It’s fun, and I meet cool people,” she says.

Given her technical background, Valeria does plenty of wrenching on her cars herself. She’s tackled everything from failing seat bushings to electrical issues and sagging headliners. Her husband was on board, too, helping kit her out for the job. “For a wedding anniversary one year my husband had surprised me with a full set of mechanics’ tools, so romantic,” she explains. It’s a story that would warm the heart of any car enthusiast. She’s no stranger to getting her hands dirty, nor sussing out a problem via some laptop diagnostics.

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The worst job she had to tackle involved a burnt-out window regulator, something many of us can relate to, including yours truly. “I had to make tools, and stick my arms through access holes that were not big enough for my arms.” She wound up bruised and bloody, but came out on top. “I boned up on my swearing skills too. It took 6 hours of creative tinkering, but I did it!” she says, triumphantly.

Future plans for her collection involve an epic roadtrip. The 2024 Schuh Syndikat will celebrate the 25th anniversary of the Z3 and Z3 M Coupe in North Carolina in May. The aim for the meetup is to create a new record for the largest gathering of Z3 Coupe models in one place. The record currently stands at 64, held by a UK owner’s group. “The ZSCCA has arranged for drivers to come to New Hampshire to convoy all my cars to the event trying to break the record,” she says. “My 8 will contribute significantly.”

Beyond that, she’s been using the cars to help out at a high school auto shop, too, after a local auto tech teacher dropped by her collection. “They have done minor things on my cars and expect they will be seeing more of me soon,” she says.

Oh, and just in case you weren’t impressed enough already? Valeria is not just a responsible custodian for rare BMWs. She’s also a talented painter who turns her brush to her cars, among other subjects. Imagine hanging one of these on your wall!

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It’s not the first time we’ve seen a single-model collection run by a dedicated individual; indeed, we often find great tales whenever we come across one. It’s easy to see why the Clownshoe inspires such passion. It’s a highly capable vehicle with excellent handling and some of the better modern engines to come out of Germany. Add on the fact that it looks like nothing else on the road, and you’ve got something magic right there.

Valeria is a special kind of enthusiast. She dedicates herself to the support and betterment of both her favorite car and her community. She’s not only raised the profile of the Clownshoe, but she’s out there showing others how to love and enjoy cars. That’s a beautiful thing, and we could all learn from her wonderful example.

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Image credits: Valeria Giordano

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SlowCarFast
SlowCarFast
3 months ago

I love everything about this story, right down to the artwork! THANK YOU Valeria for sharing this awesome story and collection with us!

DialMforMiata
DialMforMiata
3 months ago

Ladies and their ‘shoe collections, amirite?

Bizness Comma Nunya
Bizness Comma Nunya
3 months ago

As someone who always loved the clownshoe, this lady is a LEGEND.

Electric Truckaloo (formerly Stig’s Chamorro Cousin)
Electric Truckaloo (formerly Stig’s Chamorro Cousin)
3 months ago

What a hero. I love this.

Last edited 3 months ago by Electric Truckaloo (formerly Stig’s Chamorro Cousin)
Anthony Magagnoli
Anthony Magagnoli
3 months ago

My type of person!! If my engine swap gets done, I’m going to try to make the 2024 Schuh Syndikat with mine.

Mechjaz
Mechjaz
3 months ago

I’ll show up in the Z4! It’s too close not to go, at the very least.

If the Z4 is running.

..Okay, I’ll be there on the bike.

Alan Christensen
Alan Christensen
3 months ago

She should get at least one more and hearse-ify it like the Harold and Maude Jag.

Maymar
Maymar
3 months ago

I think I know the reason the Z3 coupe is more rare than the M version – she rounded up all the Z3 coupes left (I know, there’s a few M’s in there).

EmotionalSupportBMW
EmotionalSupportBMW
3 months ago

Blessed is the Church of the Rondel, and blessed may Valeria be. For her dedication to Spiritus Vanos, may we come together and recognize St. Valeria. Patron Saint of the Shoe. For she devoted herself to the Roundel’s teachings and to fellowship, to burning oil and to prayer.

Arch Duke Maxyenko
Arch Duke Maxyenko
3 months ago

May we all share the blessed sacrament of coolant and plastic trim clips.

Voeltzwagen
Voeltzwagen
3 months ago

I love me a Clownshoe. Though that bright chrome trim over the license plate feels so out of place!

Mechjaz
Mechjaz
3 months ago

The orange, oh goodness the orange. That is the color I covet above all colors, ideally on some kind of unicorn M-wagon, over dark or black BBSes…

I’ll be in my bunk

DialMforMiata
DialMforMiata
3 months ago
Reply to  Mechjaz

That orange is epic indeed. Clownshoes should be in bright colors!

Canopysaurus
Canopysaurus
3 months ago

Wow, the Imelda Marcos of Clownshoe collectors! Love this tale and can readily identify with her obsession.for the Z3 Coupe. The fact that she shares them with others is wonderful. Hope they break that gathering record in the spring. Viva Valeria and her Clownshoe clan!

SNL-LOL Jr
SNL-LOL Jr
3 months ago
Reply to  Canopysaurus

Was just going to make an Imelda Marcos joke. So glad I checked the comments first.

Jason Christopher
Jason Christopher
3 months ago

I have that same shirt!

Last edited 3 months ago by Jason Christopher
Tasteful Noodles
Tasteful Noodles
3 months ago

I love this. The clownshoe is what got me into cars. I saw a silver one in a parking lot around 2010ish and stopped in my tracks. I knew nothing about cars but figured for something to look that strange it must be special. I couldn’t tell from looking at it if it was from the ’70s or current production.

I finally sat in a friend of a friend’s a few years ago and the shoe, unfortunately, doesn’t fit. I’m 6’5 and I think I’m about 7 inches too tall for it. But I do have a 1:18 diecast Z3 Coupe on my desk that make me smile every time I see it.

SkaterDad
SkaterDad
3 months ago

This is awesome.

I always wanted an M Coupe, but the prices shot through the roof before I pulled the trigger.

S54 maintenance be damned, I love the looks and drifting ability displayed in car reviews.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
3 months ago

This is the greatest image caption I’ve ever seen. Thank you, whoop whoop, ninjas ride or die. Clownshoes put every Jugga-lambo out there to shame.

Also, can you please help me get Faygo out of my computer keyboard? Thanks in advance.

Last edited 3 months ago by Stef Schrader
getstoneyII (probably)
getstoneyII (probably)
3 months ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

Just put it in the freezer.

Toecutter
Toecutter
3 months ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

Every juggalo aspires to have one.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
3 months ago
Reply to  Toecutter

Clownshoes are a lot like love, it’s all a feeling
And it fills the room, from the floor to the ceiling
I see Clownshoes all around me
Stop and look around, it’s all astounding
Water, fire, air and dirt
Fucking VANOS, how does it work?
And I don’t wanna talk to a mechanic
Y’all point out the subframe and get me pissed
Trackdays, bro, and hooning weather
Fifteen thousand Clownshoes together
And I love BMW for giving me this
Time on this planet, take no roundel for granted
I’ve seen a Bimmer turn into a butterfly
Clownshoes ain’t nothing to lie

Toecutter
Toecutter
3 months ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

More people need to see this. Made my day.

SlowCarFast
SlowCarFast
3 months ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

Also, can you please help me get Faygo out of my computer keyboard? 

Not sure if you are joking about the keyboard or not. If you’re serious, unplug it, run it under the faucet to flush it out really well. Shake as much water out as possible and let it dry overnight. If you can’t wait, rinse it with isopropyl alcohol and it will dry faster.

Stef Schrader
Stef Schrader
3 months ago
Reply to  SlowCarFast

It was a joke. ICP fans love to throw around Faygo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftpnJNJvQJk

SlowCarFast
SlowCarFast
3 months ago
Reply to  Stef Schrader

Sorry. I sort-of picked up on it, but wasn’t sure without my morning coffee.

Mechjaz
Mechjaz
3 months ago
Reply to  SlowCarFast

Oh good. Be advised that isopropyl alcohol can “bleach” some plastics.
edit: derp replies, how do they work

Last edited 3 months ago by Mechjaz
Chronometric
Chronometric
3 months ago

I once knew a couple with 30 Miatas parked all along their circular driveway. Car people should follow their passion any way they wish but buying cars and parking them outside is not doing them any favors.

D-dub
D-dub
3 months ago
Reply to  Chronometric

Especially in New Hampshire! Those poor little ‘shoes are freezing their toes off right now.

Cpt. Slow
Cpt. Slow
3 months ago

Give it to me straight 6 is a great Autopian handle, and you should assign it to her immediately, along with a lifetime Corinthian membership. Awesome all around!

TOSSABL
TOSSABL
3 months ago

Sent this to my bil who has an MCoupe.
Got to attend a Syndikat meet with him a few years back; a great group of enthusiasts. Would be fun to go to this one to meet Valeria

Jon Wilson
Jon Wilson
3 months ago

This is so weird. My wife and I are from California and were visiting a friend of hers 6 months ago in the middle of nowhere in NH. On the drive back to the airport I noticed this house and was surprised by the number of clown shoes in the yard. The town only has 2k people. What are the chances I drove by this house?

Mr. Asa
Mr. Asa
3 months ago

I appreciate this, but I mostly appreciate the beverage holder in the yellow car with the laptop on its valve cover. That’s slick.

DialMforMiata
DialMforMiata
3 months ago
Reply to  Mr. Asa

I laughed out loud at that. Probably the best place you could put a cupholder in a car.

StillNotATony
StillNotATony
3 months ago

If she’s not an Autopian, y’all need to extend an offer to her! She seems like our kind of people.

PlugInPA
PlugInPA
3 months ago

I want to know what vanity license plate she has on each one, we just see “CLWNSHU” and one starting with “Z”. Awesome story and very cool person!

NJR
NJR
3 months ago
Reply to  PlugInPA

Another one (middle of the front row) is ASCHUH (sound it out…) – it’s also a MA not a NH license plate so not sure if it’s actually current! Another one has a non-personalized MN front license plate.

Last edited 3 months ago by NJR
Valeria Giordano
Valeria Giordano
3 months ago
Reply to  NJR

Not that it matters, but before you think I am a poser, The black Z3 coupe in the photo is not one of mine, but I do own a black MCoupe, and the MN plates had 9 months left on the reg so I left them on. The orange is a respray, bot original color.

NJR
NJR
3 months ago

That hadn’t even crossed my mind — this whole story is just awesome!

EVDesigner
EVDesigner
3 months ago

Is she adopting Autopian members anytime soon?

NebraskaStig
NebraskaStig
3 months ago

So this is where they all went!

Freelivin2713
Freelivin2713
3 months ago

Wow, this is the BEST headline I’ve seen in a while! Thank you!

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