Way back in 2017, I got an opportunity to take my then-six-year-old kid, Otto, on a fun event sponsored by Hagerty that let us drive all manner of vintage cars, including a nice long stint in a 1970 Fiat 500. It was a blast; we had a great time, and I think it was one of the formative moments in Otto’s appreciation of cars. The PR person who set up my participation in that event now works for Hemmings, another car-focused company that begins with the alphabet’s eighthmost letter, and they’re doing a road rally this weekend. This kind PR person offered Otto and me a chance to participate.
Of course, we said yes. It seems fun, and sure, there’s some nostalgia appeal about being able to do another father-son drive event now that his age has more than doubled. I don’t think mine did that, thankfully, but I’ve definitely aged.
The rally is called the Hemmings Motor Club Rally: Paso Robles, and sure, maybe Hemmings is a competitor in this autojournalism business, but aren’t we really all one big family, deep down? Full of resentments and irritating one another and getting into screaming fights every Purim? Sure we are.
I have a feeling that there will be some spectacular cars on this rally, which will take us from the Los Angeles area to Paso Robles (the Spanish words for “Father Hamburgler”), and alongside those spectacular cars, I’ll be driving our ridiculous one: our Nissan Murano CrossCab.
Is the CrossCab worthy of the honor of being in this rally? Ha ha ha, no, no it isn’t! Not at all! Will it be the objectively worst car entered in this rally? Very likely, unless something catches on fire, and even then, it’ll probably still be the worst.
But the gleefully strange and misguided CrossCab has already proven its mettle when it comes to mixing with its betters; remember this thing rubbed fenders with Bugattis and vintage Porsches and Lamborghinis and other exotic iron. I’m confident our merlot-colored weirdo will hold its own just fine.
I mean, I think. Will the notoriously finicky CVT decide to give up on this trip? Will the top decide to stop working in the perfect, near-vertical halfway position? Maybe? Anything is possible!
Hopefully Otto will have as much fun now that he’s a teenager as he did when he was just a little kook. He’s like three times longer now, though. I hope that won’t be a problem? Will he be a helpful co-driver and be good at reading the route book? I’m not really going to hold my breath, but we’ll see.
So, this is all to say I’m traveling most of today. I’ll hopefully have more for you soon, though!
Look, Torch, if you didn’t insist every year that I dress up like Vashti and “dance” for you, we could just eat our hamentashen and enjoy the holiday. But noooooo, you lascivious achashverosh!
Why would you assume the CrossCab isn’t rally-worthy? Look at those rims!!!
Safe travels! Too bad he’s not of wine drinking age. They have some great wineries around there.
I sure hope you have matching jumpsuits and old timey aviator goggles. And scarves, don’t forget the scarves.
And a pencil thin mustache, the Boston Blackie kind.
Torch, be sure to stop by the Woodland Auto Display in Paso Robles when you’re here. 97 pretty rare vehicles in a broad range. I’m a docent on Fridays from 1-4, I’d love to tour Autopians around the place.
Woodland Auto Display is a great museum. I was visiting the Estrella Warbird Museum and was surprised by how good it was, and then was surprised by Woodland as well. Both were much more interesting and comprehensive than the usual passion project museums.
I remember the Hagerty Event a few years ago. Keith and the guys at the RB Center are awesome
Does Otto have any writing interest? Along with the article that Jason writes after the event, I would enjoy a alt-POV twin article from The Ottopian.
What a great idea!
I went to a car show at a Porsche dealer in Palm Springs last weekend which had all of the typical cars you’d expect in Palm Springs, plus…. a Murano Crosscab! You guys are trendsetters.
This is awesome. Babies are cute, but it’s so amazing when your kids get old enough to DO STUFF with you.
My eldest is now 9 and yeah, the past year or so has been great in the being able to do stuff without whining or losing interest quickly ability. Hopefully my 6 year old hits that point soon.
It’s a great age. In another few years they tend to lose most interest in doing stuff with you.
My oldest is also 9. And my 5-year-old is a DIFFICULT child. Someday! 🙂
My eldest (and only) child is now 31 and an attorney. Half his lifetime ago I was taking him and his buddies to metal concerts in Seattle. At their request, not mine. I offered them all ear plugs, but nobody ever took me up on the offer. Somewhat to their regret now. Some of those concerts were very loud.
I’ve been to probably hundreds of metal/punk/hardcore shows, a lot of which were in small venues. By bands that often replaced skill with volume and distortion. I have regrets.
In college, I went as a student newspaper photographer and was in the front row for a Tubes concert in ’76 and came out of it so deaf, all I could hear was my feet hitting the ground through my bones. I already had tinnitus, but that didn’t help.
And it was a great concert! Two women to my right were throwing computer punch tape chads like confetti and I was picking that stuff out of my Nikkormat camera for a couple of weeks.
I (50-year-old dad at the time) actually enjoyed a couple of the metal concerts my kid dragged me to.
Agreed. I know it’s heresy to say it but my kids kept getting more interesting and fun to hang with the older they got, and it’s huge fun during the times I get to be with them now that they are grown adults.
Not heresy at all. I have just one son and it was really fun to watch him develop into his own self. He’s 31 now and he and his wife are expecting a baby. So, if all goes well, that will be another chapter in life. Also, see my comments above for context. I completely agree that it is fun to hang out with him and his wife. And her parents. And his friends that I knew as kids.
Boys I used to take to school, camping and to concerts. They all are now in their early 30s and it’s fun to see how they have matured and turned out.
Hey you kids have fun, that is the important thing.
No need to worry about automotive bonding, when you’re both laughing uncontrollably.
Have a blast! I love road rallies. My first one was with my Dad in his Miata when I was a teen. Now my wife and I do them. Great easy way to have fun with cars!
I’m putting on a road rally Saturday for my SCCA region. Halloween-themed with cemeteries, pumpkin patches, etc. Should be ~4hrs and I’m giving bonus points for costumes, and decorated cars. I need to decide which Star Wars costume to wear.
Do Imperial regulations allow you to wear anything besides your armor? 😉
I’m leaning towards my Count Dooku costume. I can skip the hair dye, it’s close enough anymore.
“ Paso Robles (the Spanish words for “Father Hamburgler”)”. Made me laugh more than it should have. Thanks for the humor this morning
That snort you heard was me.
Funniest/cleverest thing I’ll read all day, and it’s just a throw-away parenthetical. Never change, Torch.
robble robble robble
“Move ’em on, head ’em up
Head ’em up, move ’em on
Move ’em on, head ’em up
Rawhide!”
It just started playing in my head while reading this. Dammit is insanity contagious?
We got both kinds here. Country AND western.
Shall we start setting up a GoFundMe for your bail money before you get arrested for child abuse?
It comes with free tacos, burgers and pastaries according to their website. When I was a teenager I would definitely drive three days for that.
Somebody please reassure me that I’m not the only person who read “pastaries” as “parasites”. While maybe not the most inspired marketing prose, it seems like it wouldn’t be entirely outside of the realm of possibility (probability?) for this type of event.
I saw pastries, but it’s breakfast time and I’m hungry.
Are you me?
Same reaction lol
A different mindset may have led to “pasties”… It’s all in the eye of the beholder.
Yeah,well, I read this bit “Full of resentments and irritating one another” as “urinating on one another” and thought, yep, this is a Torch article.
is a pastarie a baked delicacy made out of noodles?
Lasagna, manicotti, baked ziti, etc. There are plenty of baked pasta delights waiting for you at your local pastary shop.
Now I want some noodle kugel.
I would eat that.
Good Luck, Torch!!
And youre killin the Dad thing. Ottos going to have a ton of (hopefully great) memories of father/kid roadtrips.