You know what’s a strange thing? The way that, on certain cars, the “standard” configuration was incredibly uncommon. One might even say it was non-standard. I think the most glaring example of this has to do with manual transmissions – there’s a reason why for a lot of older folks, a manual transmission is referred to as a “standard transmission.” Because they were the standard. Of course, by the 1980s, that “standard” was becoming less and less so.
I was thinking about this because of this old Mercury Monarch brochure from 1980. The Monarch – the re-badged sibling to the Ford Granada – was never a great car. I’m not even really sure I’d call it a good car. But they were absolutely everywhere when I was growing up, and I spent a fair amount of time around and in various Monarchs and you know what I never, ever saw in one of those Monarchs?
One of these:
Yes, that’s the Monarch’s “standard” transmission. As far as I can tell, absolutely no one accepted a Monarch with the standard transmission; every single one I’ve ever seen has been a column-shift, three-speed automatic. I would lose my lettuce if I saw a manual Monarch in person. I’d want to sit down and touch that strange, bent shifter with its weird faux-burled walnut shift knob, which labels fourth gear as O/D. I would want to slowly move it through the gears, feeling like I was rowing a unicorn horn through its gears.
I’ve seen more Facel-Vegas out in the wild than I have manual Monarchs. I’ve seen more Innocenti Minis, more Iso Grifos, and more Soviet Volgas on public American roads than stick-shift Monarchs. And even more rare than just a manual Monarch is this one, the Monarch ESS:
This was the “sporty” Monarch, and I can’t think of a car that is less able to live up to its brochure description than this car:
The “elan” of a European sports sedan? Oh boy. That is some wildly delusional copyrighting there. I’ve driven a Monarch. Well, not an ESS or a manual one, because, as I think I mentioned, they’re more rare than foie gras in a Happy Meal. Even so, I can pretty confidently say that I did not detect a single ounce of “elan” in the Monarch, European or otherwise. I do kinda like the wheels on that ESS and the funny plastic louvered cover they stuck over the opera window.
This is more how I think of Monarchs; the color of a condiment halfway between butterscotch and mustard and with a half-vinyl roof. Actually, now that I think more about it, even the coupé versions were sort of uncommon. Most Monarchs were like these:
Four-door sedans, in somber colors, wire wheels, full vinyl roofs, and parked in front of the Frank Leonard Gallery. These Monarchs were all over the place. And they were all automatics. Really, this was the standard, despite what Ford called “standard.”
Monarchs were really conventional, kinda boring cars. But that sound insulation sure was “deluxe!”
They came ins some good colors, though! Oh damn, you could get the ESS in a four-door, too? I had no idea! Where’s the time machine keys? After my usual dodo-and-brie sandwich, I’m gonna swing by the Mercury dealership!
A fraternity brother of mine had a Granada with a stick. Surreal then as it is now.
I’m fascinated by these oddball, rare powertrain combinations. They make otherwise forgettable vehicles – like an early ’80s Monarch – somewhat interesting. It’s in that same vein I smile when I see something like a manual Chrysler minivan and would love to find a Taurus MT-5 wagon.
I bought a manual 2014 Fusion new, and enjoyed it immensely for the 10 years I owned it. I figured out less than 1500 manual Fusions existed for 2014, less than 1% of total Fusion sales that year. Still nowhere near as rare as a manual Monarch.
Many years ago a local fellow would drive his kids to the local drag strip in their modified 80s Dodge Caravan complete with turbo and manual trans. He would swap out the front wheels, then run it all night. Swap the street tires back on and drive his family home in it. Awesome.
MT5 Taurus is one of my Holy Grails, regardless of what RCR claims…
Don’t get me started on that infuriating RCR review of the MT-5.
I mean…it makes perfect sense what he said and why they released the MT5, but it’s still talking smack about one of my favorite cars.
Have you seen that dude that’s trying to sell an MT5 wagon that he’s ruined by making it a Christmas Vacation tribute car? Of all the wagons to do that to…
I don’t really buy the fuel economy argument for the MT-5. It’s not like there was some drastic changes in required fleet averages between 1986 and 1988, or that Ford made big changes to its lineup. No, the MT-5 was an effort, albeit a lackluster one, to position a Taurus model against European imports. Once the SHO came along, the MT-5 was unnecessary.
Also, RTR claimed the MT-5 was a base model when it was actually equipped like a GL and could be outfitted like an LX. RTR needed to see what a base L came equipped with as standard.
Also, WHY would you waste a unicorn MT-5 wagon as a Christmas Vacation tribute car??
He wants some ridiculous amount of money for it, but he keeps adjusting the price downwards…last I checked it was around $8k. Mostly because of all of the “work” he’s done to make it a tribute car. He has a second wagon and all the original bits, it’s almost like he knows someone will immediately turn it back into a MT5.
He sounds as delusional as so many of those other people selling a modified vehicle, expecting the market to value the “improvements” as much as they did. You built a vehicle appealing to a small group of people, so don’t be surprised when you have a hard time finding one of those other likeminded folks.
https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/1116306496118517/#
Sold for $5k…I wonder who bought it? At that price, it was getting down into territory that I would have started to consider it. I mean, MT5 wagon after all…
Me too, $5K seems reasonable for a unicorn, even if you have to put some work in. One day I’m going to make it happen, much to my wife’s chagrin.
We can go havsies! Do we hold out for a wagon or the first MT5 that comes along…
Finding either in decent shape is going to be tough, so while the wagon would of course be optimal, I’m not picky enough to demand it.
Thirty years ago (egads) give or take, I remember seeing a red wagon my local PnP in Upstate NY. I remember seeing the MT5 in the door molding, and wondering what it was. Even then I knew it was an oddball…
I’d throw the manual Mercury Milan in that category too. I’m surprised they bothered offering it all the way to the end even after the facelift although at that point couldn’t be loaded up in Premier trim the way the first few years could.
There was a “standard” Milan for sale on Copart just yesterday…I can’t find it today. Drats!
One of my roommates had the Mercury Zephyr version with the stick and 4 banger. Serious dog. Did have a sunroof though.
That would have been the sort-of replacement for this car, on the all-new, downsized Fox platform, the Monarch still used a version of the old Falcon platform from 1960.
There was also a Fox Granada that lasted only two model years, ’81 and ’82
Seeing the ESS parked in the infield of the late Ontario Motor Speedway makes me sad about the demise of the racetrack but the thought of running that thing hard around the oval or the windy inland track conjures amusing visions of terminal understeer and general clumsiness.
I have a 1984 Ford van with this same 4 speed transmission. It’s the toploader imposter.
Perhaps they were less common on Mercurys, but they were not infrequently seen on Granadas in the High School parking lot in the early 80s
I expect that most of the manual equipped Monarchs sold would have been toward the earlier end of the run, also. By 1980, the car was already well on its way out and they were tending to load them up with features as a way of selling the aging model as representing good value against newer competition. Including within Lincoln-Mercury showrooms
Instead of ‘standard’, the word ‘default’ might be most descriptive, without the implied stigma of using the word, ‘base’.
In 1983 only the standard engine and transmission for the midsize Ford LTD was a 2.3L Pinto 4-cylinder and 4 speed manual. I’ve been into these cars for nearly 30 years now (hence my handle here) and have seen probably hundreds of them in junkyards, and I can only ever recall seeing a car with that powertrain combination literally once. It was easy to spot because it was the only way to get a manual trans in that model.
A thousand years ago I drove from Sacramento to Reno with friends in their Zephyr Z7 equipped with the 4 cylinder and 4 speed for an evening on the town.
Since it was late and I hadn’t been drinking, I was the one to drive us back over the Sierras.
Yes, I had to downshift into 3rd and briefly second to keep it in the 50mph range over the Donner Pass while everyone else was snoozing away. When I pulled into their driveway, they woke and told me I must be a good driver since it was a smooth ride.
My recently purchased ’79 Fairmont has the 200 inline-6 which somehow makes less horsepower than the 2.3L (but more torque) and merging onto the freeway is a bit nerve-wracking.
LTD LX was auto only?
Yes it was, 4-spd overdrive auto. No manuals on the LTD LX.
Correct, which likely limited part of its market appeal.
Mine has been converted to a 5-speed manual.
I feel like back in the day Motorweek would always test a base or near base model which inevitably had a stick. Conversely, I almost never saw anyone with one of these base models in real life or even at the Ford dealership where my uncle worked. Even 30 or 40 years ago, I feel like the dealers knew these base models were going to be hard to sell and low margin and so maybe had like one on the lot.
I’m in the middle of the GenX cohort. I have memories of seeing manual K-cars in all configurations- couples, sedans, and yes wagons. Also the early versions of the minivans, and the Spirit/Acclaim. Because of the weirdness of Chrysler packaging and the ubiquity of the K-platform, I remain hopeful that somewhere, there is or was at least one, FWD New Yorker *Turbo* with the resplendent full-on Brougham-tastic button tufty velour seats, 80’s digital dash (with talking alerts), a kicking Infinity sound option, AND a manual. Someday such an oddity will eventually turn up in a barn, or photos (Polaroids?) will show up at a yard sale to validate the existence of such a beast.
You may have memories of manual minivans, I had one. A white 85 Caravan with gold accents, remote rear window openers, and a right hand rear view mirror. That was the complete option list. Basic 5 passenger transportation in wide wale gold corduroy. Total piece of crap, but I loved that sucker.
I also had one. Mine was a 1993 Plymouth Voyager, and I think the radio and A/C were the only options.
That makes four options. Vinyl seats were standard, the wide wale corduroy cost extra.
The parking lot of the building next door to one of my former workplaces frequently had a black TURBO first-generation Dodge Caravan moving around in it.
Was that engine manual-transmission only?
No. It could be also had, and more commonly was equipped with a lethargic and power-sapping 3-speed automatic Torqueflite. In cars it could be with a column shift or floor, in the vans it was on the column.
Well if the 4-door can think it’s a Mercedes, the 2-door can think it’s a sporty Elan 😀
On more than one occasion, someone has told me they weren’t considering a certain car because a manual was standard equipment. Apparently they didn’t realize how rarely they would be offered without the “optional” automatic.
Oh Jason….
https://www.facebook.com/share/17vFSeKvgY/?mibextid=wwXIfr
Buy it and I will personally deliver it to you.
I would HAPPILY go check that thing out for an article. It’s in Rho-DIE-Lind, which isn’t a far drive (my Ford Ranger came from Tasca in West Warwick)
I’m approximately 5 miles from it as we speak…we could have an Autopian Quahog outing!
Do it
My folks bought all their Fords from Tasca… Then they made the fatal mistake, of going to another closer dealership. The incident of 1989 lives in infamy..
Go on…
Well, my parents bought a new Taurus Station wagon at Rodman Ford, cash (My mom was a 2 year updater at the time) ,and to be all registered then flew to Ireland for vacation, I was to pick up the car, then pick up my parents when they returned.
On the day, my sister picked me up at work (I had an MR2) and we arrived, asking for the salesman. He said “I’ll check, I think it’s around back”. Now at this point I should note I was a gym rat, and about 5’11” 185 pounds, 0% body fat. I had just come from work, it was summer and of course the shop where I worked had no AC. So I’m in oily jeans, a tank top and work boots, my sister had a newborn, we’re both in our 20s.
Mr. Car salesman is now MIA, so I ask someone else, same answer; “I’ll go look”, same result, MIA, would you believe it happened a third time? My sister now nervous that it’s getting late says “I’m nervous, it’s getting late” to which I reply in a booming voice “Yes, it’s getting late and someone had better get the @#$^& car, my parents paid @#$^& cash for, here right @#$^& now, or there’s going to be hell to @#$^& pay!”
People scurry like mice, finally someone comes downstairs to find out what my problem is, I explain the @#$^& problem to this @#$^& guy.. He askes an underling “where’s the car?” so get this, it’s not ready, they waited until the last day, end of the day, the day I was picking up the car to go to the DMV. Me: “so the @#$^& car isn’t ready?” Boss guy: “no” Me: so, you’re going to give me a loaner?” Boss man: “no”. Me: “OK, so when the guy gets back from the registry, put the plates on the car, put the registration in the glove box, then take the whole thing and shove it up your a$$ sideways! And if you don’t like that, contact the Jacobe law firm”.
We left, I took my sister’s Delta 88 with a bad thermostat (so you know, running the heat in the Southeast Expressway traffic) to Logan Airport, arrive just in time, my parents were actually in the lobby. Dad: “So, you picked up the car I guess?!” Me: “yeah about that.. Mom maybe walk ahead a little.. The car wasn’t ready so I kinda told them to shove it up they a$$ sideways and if they didn’t like it call Jack”. Dad: “yeah, they were jerks… OK”
The next day my mom goes to get the car and relays this portion: Mr. Salesman being very gracious and tries showing her all the features. Mom: “this is my third Taurus (technically she had Sables), I don’t need help, I want to leave now.” Mr. Salesman: “Well, about your son, and that girl he was with…” Mom: “what about him?! And that was my daughter and grandbaby!” Mr. Salesman: “Well, he didn’t have to do what he did when he was here..”
Mom (god bless her) “You’re very lucky that’s all he did…Did he mention the Lawyer?”
They legit never went back to that dealership, and went back to Tasca for their subsequent Sables. Not my proudest moment, but man to have your parents back your play like that. Taught me the bigger lesson, back your kids up against the man.
This is amazing, thank you. COT f&@$ing D.
Cheers
I bought my ’12 Focus from Tasca (the new one down in Cranston near the ACI, not the Old Skool one that’s a VW dealership now in EP).
I walked into the dealership with tons of printouts. I had spec’d my Focus down to the last detail, and to their credit, they didn’t give me a hard time. They went through all the ordering process and got me the exact car I wanted (this was early in the production) and then I had to wait…four weeks for the car to come in!
I went down the day it got to the lot and asked them to let me sit in it before they did the dealer prep. I Synced my phone up just to see how it all worked…a few days later when it was “ready”, the salesperson tried to show me how to Sync my phone and it was already there…he was quite puzzled until I told him why.
Oh maybe it’s Cranston. Volvo store next door. Anyway, they were good to deal with. No shenanigans.
It’s RI, everything is within a stones throw anyway.
Except Newport.
I know…there’s a TOLL. ain’t nothing in Newport worth a toll.
They should pay US to come and gawk at those “cottages” and tolerate the wealthy and oblivious vacationers
No, but I remember ending up there at 1:00 in the morning, just because me and a buddy were enjoying ourselves driving and didn’t want to end up in Connecticut…. I mean obviously.
Yeah – you DEFINITELY don’t want to get lost in, like, Noank. (Grab lunch at the Seahorse if it’s still there)
Sorry, I moved out of New England in 1995 was last there in 2017, no intention of returning. I did live in New London as a little kid though.
Me too, and i’m sorry haha
What a beautiful story, Mr. Black Peter.
Holy crap! $8 grand, though?
Yeah, thats nuts.For 8K, it would need to be REALLY nice.
But it’s RARE.
That’s the ‘standard’ price.
I bet we could get him down to $5k if we should up with 50 hundos in our hand…
See if they’ll take a Murano Crosscabriolet in trade!
What a turd. I want it. A lot. I loved the days when you selected individual options and not have to buy a package of a bunch of things you didnt want to get the one thing you did.
This could be the next Autopian car!
Think of how much “fun” Mercedes would have guiding this “luxury midsized” Mercury around the midwest…with elan!
No, it’s Torch’s article. It should be Torch’s “company car”. Think of the video he could make of teaching Otto to drive stick in it – the car’s rare but the parts might not be, I’d assume the clutch is the same as a Fox Mustang so it’s a lot shorter waiting and easier search than one for the 2CV.
I love this idea. We must make it happen. Where’d David when we need him!
“If we get 1000 more members by March 1 we’ll buy this manual Mercury Monarch and make Otto drive it for one year!”
Oh man, that kid is gonna hate us.
Still beats a 2-hour wait for the school bus!
That’s Rodius-Clarke levels of sadism and calamity. I love it.
Otto drives stick since he was 4 years old.
“ I never saw one before I purchased this one. “
Quote from the seller says it all
I have seen the 1977 Granada owner’s manual. The V8 could be either a 302 or a 351W.
The Honda CRV and HRV are modern examples of this. AWD isn’t standard, and they actually make FWD models, but most dealers refuse to sell them and will only have AWD on display.
Depends where you live. Front wheel drive crossovers are pretty common in the desert Southwest. I own one!
When I was living in Fort Lauderdale, I was riding in my coworker’s Jeep Grand Cherokee and noticed there wasn’t a transfer case lever so I asked him how he shifted it. That was the day I found out those things came in 2 wheel drive also.
Wild when jeep used to offer all their “trail rated” SUVs with 2wd. Obviously for a lot of people they aren’t taking them off-road. But still annoying to see a base price that didn’t include 4wd.
See also: FWD Audis
I saw the same thing as you when we were shopping for a crossover. We thought about getting a FWD version for the (slight) fuel economy benefit. But that was a total no-go here in the NYC metro area. Every single one on the lot was AWD.
But like Eggsalad mentions, I’m sure our experience would have been much different elsewhere, like down in Florida or out west.
Now with cars.com and other sites, you can see inventory within the distance of your choosing and go to the closest dealer that actually has FWD models 😛
Thankfully the fuel economy gap has shrunk a ton, even more with the addition of eAWD (which, to be fair, doesn’t necessarily work as well when you actually need AWD), because as you noted:
1) Most vehicles for sale in western NY are spec’d with AWD if it’s available
2) As people have grown to expect AWD, the resale value makes up for the initial buy in. Depending on the vehicle (I was looking at CPO Cadillac CT4s and CT5s the other day, for example), used 2wd versus AWD can be a $5k+ difference.
I think by the ’80s, except for the real econobox models, dealers kept a few manuals on the lot to support the bait-and-switch ads that covered the entire back page of the local newspaper with impossibly tempting prices.
And the VIN of the only car that price applied to printed in the smallest font possible
4th gear wasn’t labeled OD it was an OD The SROD (Single Rail OverDrive) was also the manual transmission found in the early Foxstangs with the V8. So yes a W I D E ratio 3sp plus steep OD to hit those MPG numbers.
I always wondered what the King of Spain would say if he drove a Mercury Monarch in Granada. Esto es terrible, I suppose.
Maybe he could drive it to Versailles whilst wearing a top hat.
Being Europe, it would obviously need the ‘standard’ transmission.
He’d probably eat humble pie
I knew someone would go there, although I didn’t know how widespread Moxy Früvous’s following is.
I’ve been singing “The Drinking Song” to my daughter at bed time since she was about 4 months old.
I award you twelve virtual ‘likes’ for that!
When I met my future wife, she was a big fan of ‘My baby loves a bunch of authors’. At least she warned me…..
Well we know at least one Spanish Prime Minister drove a Dodge Dart. Then flew it, briefly.
A buddy of mine had one when we were in college, circa 1984. I’m guessing it was a 1978 model. It was a 2-door, with straight six, no power steering or brakes, no A/C, but it did have the optional AM radio!
That couple standing by the gallery:
Husband: I promise this place is the Frank Leonard Gallery!
Wife: Well, it says “Frank Leonard Gallery” on the sign, but all I saw were a bunch of plates and not a single Frank Leonard.
Husband: We’ll try another one, honey. I couldn’t find a manual Mercury Monarch, but dammit, I will get you a Frank Leonard.
I remember perusing the Granada details back in the ’90s and being SHOCKED that you could get one of these things in ’77 with a 351 and a manual. Absolutely nobody bought one like that.
They’re essentially a first-generation Mustang, though, so you have a world of choice if you like to get your hands dirty.
As a feral child in the early ’80s, I observed that the people who bought these things, especially the Monarchs, were retired. Neighbor lady had one in that butterscotch color.
I think even fewer people opted for the ESS – though I really like those alloy wheels.
This is the car you bought when you wanted the familiarity of the old family Falcon that you raised your kids in, but could now relax into 4PM dinners and voting for Reagan.
Wrong generation Granada…the ones Torch is talking about were ’60-era Falcon’s underneath. The ’81-’83 (?) Granada and “Cougar” were Fox platforms.
Yes, I know – I was saying that in the ’90s, I was looking at the specs for the ’70s cars.
We had an ’82 Granada. First year for the Essex 3.8. Terrible feedback Motorcraft 2800; it would regularly blow the power valve with a backfire and then need a carb fix. Lockup auto that was rumored to be a C5 vs the old C6, and definitely wasn’t an AOD.
I eventually wrecked it – it was a wagon, too. Maybe more rare than the ’80 Thunderbird. Less ugly.
Oops. My bad!
At least I wasn’t talking about the UK Granada – whoke other rabbit hole
Yeah, the 70s Granada and Monarch were still on the Falcon platform, which was also used for the 1st gen Mustang
I like the brag about a coolant recovery system. I’m guessing that refers to a coolant overflow reservoir, as opposed to the good old days when your car barfed excess coolant out on the ground like a frat boy who just did his 3rd keg stand of the afternoon.
But that IS how it was! Cars had “road tubes” instead of PCV – designed to be in low-pressure airflow to help create a slight vacuum and evacuate oil onto the road.
Fuel systems were not sealed – carburetors would just off-gas, especially in the hot sun, and so would your gas filler neck – right out the cap or the vent. You could smell a car long before you ever saw it.
Yeah, but PCVs had been mandatory since 1967 and had become pretty much commonplace several years before that
Yeah – there were some still around 15 years later, but most everything on the road had pcvs and charcoal canisters but still carbs and not a whole lot of emissions controls (that may or may not be working right)
I saw a Camary with a manual transmission once. Once.
It’s hard to believe now, but Toyota used to offer a Camry coupe even. Handsome if bordering on bland.
I think they got it right with the first-gen Solara. Could even pair the V6 with a stick shift:
https://carsandbids.com/auctions/3gePa6OR/1999-toyota-camry-solara-v6-coupe
Unfortunately short lived, though. The next one looked like a whale.
They weren’t all that uncommon. My ex-wife had one when I met her, 1989 or 1990 model. Base trim, 5-speed, No A/C.
I knew someone with an XV10 coupe with manual.
They were available through 2011 on the 4 cyl. The 6 cyl stick ceased earlier, not sure exactly when.
I remember as a kid in the early 80’s watching the Price is Right, and whenever the prize was “A new car!!” the announcer voiceover would say “California emissions and standard transmission“ and I wondered what that meant. In fact, I think my mom referred to a stick shift as a “standard”.
Yes, it has a transmission as standard, why do you ask?
My brother’s MIL won a Subaru Justy on the Wheel of Fortune in the 80s that he ended up with. Poverty spec, 2 WD, 5 speed. Went to visit him in SoCal and he was having problems with the starter. It was so light we just pushed it to pop start it while I was there. Weren’t gonna waste a perfectly good beach day replacing the starter 🙂
Look at this studio… filled with glamorous prizes! Fabulous and exciting merchandise! (Wheel of Fortune was the bridge between the local news and Alf).
Glad it has tuned front suspension, I mean could you imagine if they didn’t tune it?
It would take a legion of engineers to “tune” what is nothing but a Ford Falcon suspension from the late ’50’s.
I’d love to see some Catia, or whatever, that shows just how much the entire front of that structure rotates when one of the front wheels traverses a bump.
The torsional rigidity of a shoestring
Chassis flex is just additional ride comfort.
Just don’t crash.
It’s too bad they didn’t tune the rear suspension, too.
Otherwise, it would sound terrible.
Well, obviously the Merc version would have such a snazzy shift knob; the Ford version driver however would be depicted as wearing driving gloves.
I really dig the 4 on the floor shifters of those days. Soooooo dramatic.