Ram certainly isn’t the first automotive marque to offer a scent. BMW has its M scents, Nissan once sold 350Z cologne, you used to be able to get Hummer fragrance, and Porsche Design has a whole range of scents. However, Ram has gone harder on marketing than any other car-branded cologne in recent history, and the brand seems to be channeling the spirit of Sex Panther from “Anchorman.” See, to celebrate the launch of the new cologne, Ram posted a video to its Instagram page and it’s certainly something.
It starts off fairly normal, black-and-white shots of the bottle being handled and a close-up of a ram’s eye, but then it starts to get weird when the voiceover announces “she’s out there.” As soon as that first line runs through your auditory cortex, you’re hit with the bombshock of what seems like is contextually supposed to be a, um, sultry ewe.
Understandably, the back-and-forth here is a lot to process. “I smell torque” usually means you’re due for a driveline refresh, while “this won’t take long, my love” is certainly … something. Capping it all off, the promotional ad ends with a title card stating “Not a scent. A mating call.” There’s just a relentless horniness to the way Ram’s promoting its new cologne, and you know what? Even though it’s uncomfortable at times, it’s still probably more effective than the alternative.
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It’s no secret that marketing has generally been getting safer and safer since the Xtreme era of Y2K. Insincere Corporate Memphis art styles and flat design steamrolling intricacy in logos has led to visual homogenization, and with this age of visual averageness comes less provocative plays than ever. The memorable ads of this modern, sanitized digital era are typically the ones that went horribly wrong rather than the ones that make a huge emotional appeal. Think that one Pepsi commercial. Not everyone’s going to love Ram’s video for its cologne, but it certainly won’t get lost in a sea of other perfume ads. At the same time, it seems to have zeroed in on its target market and resonated.
I asked Ram “how much of the Ram cologne ad is commitment to the bit, similar to the ‘Premature Electrification’ ad?” A spokesperson responded:
Ram Cologne was the ultimate holiday flex—posted it online and poof! Five hours later it disappeared faster than free snacks in the office kitchen. Don’t sweat it, we’re ordering more so you can smell like horsepower this season.
Not exactly revealing with regards to just how knowingly Ram was going for campy-cringe with the ad, but whatever, it worked: the cologne sold out. That’s usually a difficult feat for a carmarker to accomplish, but Ram made it happen in a matter of days. Not even the typical clowning of an Instagram comments section could keep this cologne down.
Granted, the clowning was pretty good. Antigravity Batteries, makers of wicked light lithium-ion 12-volt batteries, commented, “Smells like cracked dashboard and burnt 47/48 Re with notes of slipping 68RFE.” Another Instagram user commented, “The pure aroma of a manifold bolt snapping with subtle hints of exhaust fumes for the first 10-20 seconds.” That’s imaginative, appropriate stuff.
So, what does the cologne smell like? According to the product description on Ram’s website, the fragrance should serve up scents of amber and cardamom layered over an aquatic accord, rosemary, musk, and woods. That sounds like an interesting blend of traditionally masculine scents, although I’d definitely be interested in smelling it firsthand.
Ram’s cologne roll-out is weird, but also perfectly on-brand. It’s provocative like a lifted second-gen Cummins on 14-wides, and it definitely seems to have got enough people going to drum up real sales. Still, I’m not sure you’ll want to listen to it at work without headphones.
Top graphic images: Ram
There’s currently an animated insurance commercial showing various animals driving various cars. The best bit is a ram driving a Ram that rams into a tree. His cologne probably clouded his judgment.
Yeah. That’s hilarious. As someone who went to highschool in a town where the big event was the rodeo parade, I just want to warn y’all that, for many in the lifestyle, the ewe thing is not a metaphor. Also, as someone who only needs to walk five minutes to the nearest ram, I gotta point out that those dudes reek something potent.
And for those about to comment, that’s from the other side of the fence. Hey, they know where I went to highschool, so there might as well be a restraining order keeping a fence or at least a car door between me and the flock.
BAAAA MEANS NO!
For the dude who never moved past Axe body spray, I guess.
Eau de RAM: Smell like you drive.
There’s one big cologne pipe and at the fork it fills Drakkar Noir bottles on the left and RAM on the right.
And maybe Rite-Aid’s Nightswept too. It’s a perfect smellalike.
RAM COLOGNE
COVER UP THAT TUESDAY MORNING BENDER WHEN YOU GET PULLED OVER AND MAYBE AVOID THAT FIFTH DUI
EAU DE RAM BY STELLANTIS
GRAB DRUNK DRIVING BY THE HORNS
Ohhh – I know a certain Secretary of Defense who this would be perfect for…..
Shouldn’t the scent be overfueled diesel exhaust from a coal rolling tune, gear oil and Axe body spray ?
RAM: The Scent of Poor Life Choices.
I thought that was the Hoppes #9 scented candle by Yankee Candle.
Not all poor life choices smell the same.
Some poor life choices smell like my ex-girlfriends.
LOL! LOL! LOL!
I could really use an Emoji option right now!
Just type in the emoji old school 😉
😀
I’m pretty sure this cologne might be Girl-Away Spray, but then again, I lol’d at the ad.
One would would be hard pressed not to laugh, except…
“RAM: the scent for those who take this ad seriously.”
Is there a rusty Jeep cologne that will make you want to take a shower with spaghetti?
I’d say so. Grunt Style will probably start spraying their T-shirts with this before they leave the
factorysweatshop.It reminds me of the song.
I came for Ewe.
Was that by Ram Jam?
Yeah, damn things gone wild.
RAM ba lam
Genuinely impressed that they had the restraint to cut away right before the Ram mounted the Ewe. 😛
You know there was a heated debate over when exactly to cut it. Thankfully the “Before everyone sees a raging ungulate boner” faction won out.
Everyone knows you gotta leave something to the imagination.
After watching, I feel like there’s no way this ad is serious, and if anything this is RAM poking fun at itself. It’s not particularly funny or effective? But whatever.
I’m interested in getting a whiff, if only out of morbid curiosity.
I’m not worried about the smell. I’m worried that RAM forgot to offer financing options.
5.9% APR on its own. If you pay cash you get a free Dodge Hornet.
No dice. I would need to be paid cash to accept a Dodge Hornet.
After 96 months of paying for your selected Stellantis
punishmentproduct, you’ve pretty much paid for a spare Dodge Hornet in interestif you didn’t trade it in after only 4 years, being underwater, and get another shiny new Stellantis product, because then you’d have been able to buy two Dodge Hornets.As opposed to smelling like a Ram Driver (Eau de PBR), which usually results in questions like “have you been drinking tonight?” and “Can you please step out of the vehicle for me?”
This should have been released as a shower gel to encourage certain RAM owners to bathe.
No can do, bathing is GAY!
-certain RAM owners, probably
Wait till you hear about their feelings on wiping their ass….
…which is why they already smell like a goat.
Reading this, I had a flashback of the old Jeremy Mayfield promo commercial wherein he picks up his date, a young lady who uses gasoline for perfume.
The way she walks up to his car (race car, of course, so she has to climb in General Lee-style) and just deadpans, “Hey, Jeremy” cracked me up every time.
I can’t tell if it’s serious or satire. Either way, it fails at both.
That said, if you’re looking for a scent that tells women you’re insecure AND have a questionable definition of consent, Ram has a fragrance for you.
Aquatic Accord? Sounds more reliable even if its been under water.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That ad was amazing. I just watched it. I fully laughed out loud, repeatedly. If one chooses to see this as serious, its horrible. If one sees it as Ram laughingly owning the cringe associated with their demographic, its pretty great.
Ariesmis
I feel like RAM cologne should smell like sweat, dip spit, axe, and monster energy drinks
I’m curious about which flavors of dip spit would predominate different regions of the country.
What flavour would you call the large dip-spit cup that’s been sitting in the car for the last two-three months?
If it’s sitting out there today, it would be a dip-spit popsicle. Which might be just about the least appealing popsicle I can think of.
Years ago I was working in a remote exploration camp. In the winter, in northern Canada. The sewage pipe running from a toilet to the septic tank became unattached at some point over the winter, resulting in what we called the poopsicle.
Any popsicle has to be better than that one to clean up.
It may be the least appealing popsicle, but the most appealing cup of dip spit.
That’s gotta be Red Man. If it was Cope or Kodiak, the cab would reek like holy hell.
Aka Ozark espresso
Now we’re asking the real questions
The inside of a deployment bag: chemical sunblock, Tapout gear, 23% interest car loan, and a smear of jalapeno cheese spread.
Stop it. You’re turning me on…
Damn! That’s worse than any ad I remember from the 70’s and 80’s. I can’t believe that passed any sort of review. Could you imagine David’s reaction of any journalist here tried to post something like that on the Autopian?
Bmw, Ferrari, and various vag branded cologne exist as did a Tesla one I believe. So I guess it’s not all that weird but even in the world of the weird cologne and perfume Xmas ads that’s over the top weird. My first thought was ram urine then the smell of a ram van that made me vomit. If that’s how they handled ram god help us if they decide on dodge, hellcat , or charger branded cologne. Maybe they need to dial it back to fiat cologne. Definitely gag or elephant gifts.
Holy Hai Karate, Batman!
Holy Dale, dare I say.
That hawk screech is the icing on a cake – as if this ad is not ‘Murican enough without it.
I actually wore that as a young man. My uncle got it as a gift and hated it, so he gave it to me. I used it in high school instead of hopping on the Dakar Noir bandwagon.
It’s DRAKKAR Noir. And it’s the Shizzzz.
I had already forgotten by 1995.
Cologne is gross.
I haven’t been there personally but I heard they cleaned it up a bit. Maybe its doesnt meet German standards but it’s now home to a Ford plant producing EV explorers. So they got that going for them.