Ram certainly isn’t the first automotive marque to offer a scent. BMW has its M scents, Nissan once sold 350Z cologne, you used to be able to get Hummer fragrance, and Porsche Design has a whole range of scents. However, Ram has gone harder on marketing than any other car-branded cologne in recent history, and the brand seems to be channeling the spirit of Sex Panther from “Anchorman.” See, to celebrate the launch of the new cologne, Ram posted a video to its Instagram page and it’s certainly something.
It starts off fairly normal, black-and-white shots of the bottle being handled and a close-up of a ram’s eye, but then it starts to get weird when the voiceover announces “she’s out there.” As soon as that first line runs through your auditory cortex, you’re hit with the bombshock of what seems like is contextually supposed to be a, um, sultry ewe.
Understandably, the back-and-forth here is a lot to process. “I smell torque” usually means you’re due for a driveline refresh, while “this won’t take long, my love” is certainly … something. Capping it all off, the promotional ad ends with a title card stating “Not a scent. A mating call.” There’s just a relentless horniness to the way Ram’s promoting its new cologne, and you know what? Even though it’s uncomfortable at times, it’s still probably more effective than the alternative.
View this post on Instagram
It’s no secret that marketing has generally been getting safer and safer since the Xtreme era of Y2K. Insincere Corporate Memphis art styles and flat design steamrolling intricacy in logos has led to visual homogenization, and with this age of visual averageness comes less provocative plays than ever. The memorable ads of this modern, sanitized digital era are typically the ones that went horribly wrong rather than the ones that make a huge emotional appeal. Think that one Pepsi commercial. Not everyone’s going to love Ram’s video for its cologne, but it certainly won’t get lost in a sea of other perfume ads. At the same time, it seems to have zeroed in on its target market and resonated.
I asked Ram “how much of the Ram cologne ad is commitment to the bit, similar to the ‘Premature Electrification’ ad?” A spokesperson responded:
Ram Cologne was the ultimate holiday flex—posted it online and poof! Five hours later it disappeared faster than free snacks in the office kitchen. Don’t sweat it, we’re ordering more so you can smell like horsepower this season.
Not exactly revealing with regards to just how knowingly Ram was going for campy-cringe with the ad, but whatever, it worked: the cologne sold out. That’s usually a difficult feat for a carmarker to accomplish, but Ram made it happen in a matter of days. Not even the typical clowning of an Instagram comments section could keep this cologne down.
Granted, the clowning was pretty good. Antigravity Batteries, makers of wicked light lithium-ion 12-volt batteries, commented, “Smells like cracked dashboard and burnt 47/48 Re with notes of slipping 68RFE.” Another Instagram user commented, “The pure aroma of a manifold bolt snapping with subtle hints of exhaust fumes for the first 10-20 seconds.” That’s imaginative, appropriate stuff.
So, what does the cologne smell like? According to the product description on Ram’s website, the fragrance should serve up scents of amber and cardamom layered over an aquatic accord, rosemary, musk, and woods. That sounds like an interesting blend of traditionally masculine scents, although I’d definitely be interested in smelling it firsthand.
Ram’s cologne roll-out is weird, but also perfectly on-brand. It’s provocative like a lifted second-gen Cummins on 14-wides, and it definitely seems to have got enough people going to drum up real sales. Still, I’m not sure you’ll want to listen to it at work without headphones.
Top graphic images: Ram
So incredibly creepy ad copy.
This cologne might smell perfectly nice and maybe even help you score a mate. But I just cannot imagine putting this on without feeling incredibly douchey.
I can make this at home. I’ll just take a stack of 7 black ice little trees, bit of moonshine, a dank vape, a dirty towel, puree it in a dirty blender and voila! Good deal on it this month, I am offering 9.8% over 84 months… 27% over 96 for unqualified buyers…
Does it smell like the drunk holding cell at the local sheriff’s office? Around here Ram trucks are involved in every other DWI offense.
For the Big Horny…
Mmmmmm – smells like Sub-550 credit score with $20k of negative equity rolled in
….Checks calendar… Still December, not April… Is this not a joke?
What in the hell did I just watch?
Something shepherds have to see all the time, and something that well-adjusted people prefer not to see.
I have never wanted to poke out my minds eye more than I do right now.
Soon to be available at the Buy Here Pay Here used car lot right outside the military base gate, easy financing, only 20% APR.
Or at the BX at the perfume counter.