Have you gotten your dose of righteous indignation today? I sure hope so; your body needs that in order to maintain healthy levels of vitriol in the bloodstream. If you haven’t, I’d like to propose a handy target for your indignation: the sinister and persistent draining of color from our modern lives, and Range Rover’s complicity in this aesthetic crime. It also has to do with Range Rover’s 55th anniversary, so that’s nice.
Yes, it’s Range Rover’s 55th anniversary this year, and I feel bad that I’m about to talk some feces about them because they’re not exactly having a great day. But I think what’s being shown in their celebratory marketing materials contains a message that I hope will be read as a warning, or at least a sort of wake-up call to anyone who currently enjoys color vision.
Before we get into all that, this is a nice visual survey of Range Rover evolution that can’t hurt to view and enjoy:
Man, that side vent graphic didn’t show up until 2001? I thought that was a ’90s thing!
Okay, back to Range Rover’s big 55th. They’ve been promoting it by staging some lovely photoshoots with the same model dressed in period clothing matching a Range Rover of that period, and it’s a striking campaign. Here’s one of their Instagram posts:
View this post on Instagram
Man, that looks great! Here’s the image itself, in case you have an Insta-allergy:
The blue of that early Range Rover is stunning, it’s boxy charm really bursting through, and that woman’s dress, a riot of purples and violets and browns, stripes and paisleys and swirly patterns that look like book inner jacket marbleizing, it’s wonderful. And gold shoes! Exuberant, classy, of the period.
The ’80s one is great, too:
We have some vivid color like that yellow, and the iconic British Racing Green that was such a hallmark of ’80s Range Rovers, evoking outdoor sportiness and unassailable Britishness all at once. Also, that hat, those buttons, and those earrings. The design of the ’80s was bold and graphic, and this shoot shows all that to great effect.
Okay, now let’s see what they posted for their modern, current era:
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Here’s the full image:
So, here we are, in the year of our fjord 2025, and this is how we’re choosing to express wealth and taste and status. There’s a restraint at play here: the dress is a minimalistic ivory frock, looking kind of like the muslin pattern it was likely made from, the purse and shoes are daring to be ivory and cream or whatever other names for almost-white they come up with (Blanched Mayonnaise? Winter Caulk? Cocaine Unguent?)
Makeup is minimal, hair is pulled back into a sensible ponytail, and that look, that expression, it’s no longer a coy smile or an outright grin, it’s a look of possible recognition mixed with slightly annoyed contempt.
The color palette ranges from white to off-white to copper, taupe, black, and maybe putty. Beiges. Because this is yet another symptom of an aesthetic plague taking over, the plague of beigeification. It’s not just me saying this; beigeification is a known term being used to describe a design trend we’re all trapped in – a trend that seems to spread across disciplines and arenas and kinds of design, like a beige version of the terrifying Sherwin Williams logo, covering the Earth.
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Somehow, beige has become the color of status and wealth and money, based on the idea that the ultra-wealthy don’t want to be too showy with their opulence, so they tone it all down into something that looks like it shares a color palette with the lunch special at a North Carolina coastal fried seafood restaurant. That means that this studious non-showiness has itself become a status marker, and now the beige-er you can be, the wealthier you seem, so boring and restrained has become as showy as gold-slathered everything.
Personally, I think this sucks, deeply, and these Range Rover promo posts just drive the point home, a point I suspect they weren’t trying to make: we were better in the past. Look at that ’70s image! It’s fun and classy and vibrant and exciting! It wasn’t all about class and money, it was about making things that looked engaging and appealing.
The modern Range Rover image that this photoshoot conveys is not connected with traditional Range Rover ideas of being able to go anywhere you want in comfort and style. Modern Range Rover looks like cold, grim opulence, like judgement, like the vain attempt to mask emptiness with wealth, a joyless, pampered slog though life. It looks like making an appearance at a gala and going home and crying and not even full understanding why.
If this is modern Range Rover, I’m okay being kicked out of that club. Maybe I can find out where the people in the old Range Rovers and loud clothes hang out, instead.
Top graphic images: Range Rover
It is the car design which really gets me angry. Tiny slit windows and cartoonish large wheels… why o why?
> It looks like making an appearance at a gala and going home and crying and not even full understanding why.
Ouch, that is painfully well said.
Yeah, the new version picture and all these greyscale colors on cars in general is so fucking boring…their owners are fucking boring people. It all sucks and is hell. Still hoping this changes in the future. Colors are awesome!
Dennis Reynolds would spit at the modern Range Rover. Hardly an amphibious exploring vehicle with those rubber band tires.
Obviously, those snapshots of “the past” are supposed to be very idealized and nostalgic. But that’s the problem. The “present” snapshot is also supposed to be “idealized”. In theory, it should be the most idealized one!
“Those were good! But look at what we are now!”
Dear GOD. I just noticed the wheels.
The comparison really shows off how much bigger modern cars are, and how disproportionately huge wheels have become.
The rims are bigger than the old tires, which also had sidewall! They went from pie tins to an airliner’s turbofans! Like someone had them selected and accidentally dragged them to 200% scale!
Wow, yeah I just looked back at it and yeah that’s a fucking ridiculous contrast. Heavier rims/tires w/ less sidewalls for overbloated vehicles. It’s hilarious and ironic that a company would do this. “Look, we used to be fun, colorful and positive…now we’re not fun, full greyscale, and drab as hell”
Honestly I was noticing how much higher the hood is on the new one: waist height on the old ones to now chest height on the new. Yikes!
Wow, yeah that’s crazy too!
I don’t know what this means, and I know I’m a small sample size, but everyone I’ve ever known IRL who had a range rover, going back to the 80s, always had a white one. So seems like they just plain know their base?
This is true of my uncle, with the exception of one burgundy Discovery.
I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks the Sherwin-Williams logo is creepy and dystopian.
Cowards. COWARDS! You fear emotion and thus you shun colour!
interestingly this is still more colourful than Range Rover between like 2007 to 2012 when every Range Rover Supercharged came in either black or grey with an all black interior barely broken up by bits of plastic painted to look like aluminum. Not even any wood.
Honestly beige-ification’s in it’s dying throes as greyscale has taken over. There are entire houses now painted white from top to bottom. They look like mental hospitals inside and out. There are people going through houses with brick facades and old wood trim and they’re plastering it over and ripping it out so that it looks like white plastic. It honestly and legitimately puts me on edge when I come into someone’s house and the most colour in the entire thing is the yellow of the sunlight coming through the windows.
It’s even worse in the commercial sphere, because they’re specifically using greyscale to make the advertisements stick out more — something that’s becoming ever more distressing to a lot of people as more and more advertisements get shoved into everything. You get an entirely white and grey building with the tiny blue logo that looks like it’s a piece of cardboard that the wind got stuck on the eaves, and then all of the colour is in the giant hotdog and cigarette ads glued to the windows.
While oversimplification is dying in the graphic design sphere (thank god and a curse upon my peers who kneeled before the Material Design throne), it’s being wielded in specific areas alongside the greyscale plague to keep your attention on advertisements. Your speedometer in a few years will likely be flat white numbers and a single white bar bordered on either side by an ad for an overpriced third party food delivery service and an ad for some weird AI porn bot.
My suggestion is stickerbomb things that are greyscaled and beige-ified. Don’t let them steal colour from us.
Public areas are being drained of color so that the people in power can advertise more.
How many hypothetical absurd young-adult fiction dystopias have we realized, now? Do we have a count? Some sort of Torment Nexus checklist?
Look at the names of the companies and products run by those responsible for this and you’ll realize that they’re specifically using books like 1984, Lord Of The Flies, Fahrenheit 451, and the Foundation series as guidelines. The idea of psychohistory, genetic predestination, inhuman and totally irrational leadership, the control of information, and the erasure of the past to make a more fluid future are all things they’re trying to achieve.
When the wife decided she needed a new car, the only condition I had was that it MUST be a real colour.
Same, when I shopped for a commuter for us, my stipulation was that it would not be Black, Silver, Grey, White, or Red. Red was just in there to make it more challenging. Ended up with a baby blue, but I was looking at Honda Fits and really wanted that orange they came in.
Indeed! The white and beige combo motif, especially in homes, should be called the California Cult, Spa, and Rehab Collection or trim because that’s what it makes me think of. Soon, the trim will come with a Swarovski Crystal, aromatherapy, and a Affirmation and Meditation subscription streaming service called Being Better, Than Everyone Else. When you go into have your RR serviced, you’ll be served Chai tea while having your Aura checked, chakra upgraded, and your palm read by authentic Indian Gurus and Gypsy(hope this is PC) Fortune Tellers that immigrated here before the MAGAstapo came to power. Also, there is an hourly 12 step program meeting for whatever issue you might need help with- robes included.
Please do not take the above satire as any kind of insult or disparagement on my part towards people in 12-step programs. I count friends and family among them and I’m grateful that they exist.
Beige. Is it even a color? Also
The front fender mounted mirrors for the win especially coupled with that French Blue. It would be worth all the troubles that one would bring to you. The new thing is pointless and boring and has no joie d’vivre whatsoever.
Emilio Pucci is the ultimate anti-Beige, but I thought Range Rover women all wore Barbour outfits and Hunter wellies.
That shrinking woman is rather disturbing, however. Either that or the handbags and Range Rovers are getting bigger, but that wouldn’t make any sense.
Fake vents in the doors? And those tires are ridiculous.
The original Range Rover sure looks nice. At least they swept those weird slant-roof things and the bulgy era under the rug,
I see various new Range Rovers pretty frequently since I live in LA. Sure, they’re impressive, but given how fast they depreciate, and the fact that even the ‘base’ models MSRP for six figures now, I never cease to be amazed at how much money people have to piss away (I’m assuming at least half of the ones I see are leased, though the actual percentage is likely much higher).
I actually prefer the look of the early ones (not just because it’s that nice shade of blue in the photo, though that never hurts) just because they look more useful to me. I have no doubt that the interior of the new ones feels super-high-end and is filled with gadgetry, which might be fun to play with for a weekend, but I couldn’t imagine owning it.
I prefer the look of older Jeeps, Unimogs, and G-Wagens too. Round sealed-beam headlights are cheap to replace and look good on older, boxy cars.
Remember MTV Cribs? White and beige were the predominant colors even back then with the 1%-ers. Totally devoid of taste, imagination or inspiration.
That being said, I also remember an old Range Rover magazine ad featuring a white truck covered in mud against a white background, so this is nothing new for the company.
Nice to own as long as you have a warranty.
Out of warranty? I think a Lexus (expensive due to Lexus reliability, which is not always affordable), a Tahoe/Yukon (minus the newer generations due to their hand grenades), or even a well maintained Cadillac car (has its own issues, and will be expensive being a luxury car) would be better options.
My older Tahoe made it to 300K miles on the original engine.
GMT800?
I still see them here in Qatar. Older Range Rovers? Hardly ANY.
The weather here is extreme and only certain cars (aside from Toyotas) seem to be able to get to high mileage (with or without abuse).
Indeed it was,, a Z71 with the off-road package. The engine was srill going strong but the bad back main seal was a bridge too far for me to repair. I still miss that truck!
Jason thank you, and I didn’t know you were such an expert in fashion, fabrics and colors
“Somehow, beige has become the color of status and wealth and money”
Wait, what?
I’m off to Craigslist to snap all the older Camrys I can find and flip them to my betters at a 10,000x markup!
Yeah sorry Torch when nationalism and puritanical weirdos are at the helms of power you get stupid shit like this.
I was wondering who ushered in the overly sensitive, wrist slapping, judgemental, Neo-Victorian era that has been plauging the the US and Euroland for well over 10 years. Thanks for explaining it!
Fashion historians (a thing that exists) have been pointing out that changes in aesthetic culture often front-runs all of *this*. People who hate fun are big fans of homogeneity and bland color palettes. See also: cults. It’s a brainwashing technique to strip your individuality.
All of “this” caught most people by surprise, but hindsight makes the hyperbolic sarcasm an understatement.
Isn’t there always a “this”? Just in a different face and a different name and a different year but with the same panic and hysteria. Every leader is the next Hitler and we are all facing impending doom. And then we get through it and it starts with the new face.
Maybe I’m wrong? *shrug* I have just seen it since I was a kid and it is always the same. It is always some new monsters on Mulberry Street.
Hitler took longer than you might realize to actually enter power. Authoritarianism is a complex historical subject, and when we avert disaster, people don’t see what would have happened.
As an alternative to history, a different reference point to measure: Half of my family were refugees from the Cambodian Khmer Rouge.
I have never before heard that they felt the need to hide. Avoid the grocery store, stay at home as much as possible.
They’ve been conservative, and don’t see this as normal. They are citizens, and do not trust that to protect them.
I think that’s pretty “this”.
At least you can still buy the lovely dress that they paired with the blue Range Rover! It’s made by an Italian company called Pucci: https://www.pucci.com/en-us/products/orchidee-and-iride-print-long-dress-4uji024u732044
That’s a fine essay.
Your description is poignant and may I point out similar to the argument made against Cracker Barrel stripping their logo to old bland sedate. Marketing people destroy the brand then try to claim they need to be heeded because they are the saviors to save what they destroyed. Marketing is a 1% factor trying to claim they are needed.
This is correct! I hate that thing got politicized, because it was sh**t design for no good reason, and it would not have somehow broadened their “reach”
Designers/marketers for goodness knows whatever reason love to kill a logo/icon just as soon as it’s starting to get interesting again. Look at Burger King and Pepsi for examples of that.
Notably, both those brands have walked it back and are using their old logos. Among the many stupid things associated with Cracker-gate, they were behind the curve by about 5 years.
One major summary of the unfortunate changes is simply the tires. The tires went from practical light truck tires to impossibly thin tires that are probably horribly expensive and immensely impractical for anything except a drive to the mall on a newly paved road.
This right here. The contraction of ‘range’ prowess in delicate wheels is bizarre.
Smaller sidewalls, smaller expectations or larger compensation? I can’t figure it out, but all my vehicles have sensible sidewalls. Even the sporty ones.
“…immensely impractical for anything except a drive to the mall on a newly paved road.”
Which is where 98% of these will be driven.
The other 2% might see a gravel driveway.
You get all the roughness of offroad by amplifying the texture of even the most immaculate surfaces with heavier versions of crude 19th century wagon wheels. It also provides early warning when entering an area where poor people may live and/or work.
Who needs electronic lane-keeping assists when you have rubber-band wheels and Botts’ dots?
A righteous rant! And don’t get me started on the donk wheels and low profile tires that are completely out of place on an ostensible off-road car.
Modern JLR has a horrible design, matched by even more horrible depreciation, and is basically for people who are too class-insecure for a Tahoe (or Toyota or Nissan internationally) or who don’t realize why they are getting such a good deal on a two-year-old one.
But damn, those vintage two-door Range Rovers look good. Everything is cool down to the door handle design. Too bad the market has caught on to how cool they are.
Added benefit of the old ones is that while they may not be models of reliability, they can be repaired during a cyber incident.
Barring the new generation (welcome L87 grenades and valve body issues, everyone here knows about it), Tahoes are traditionally more reliable than an RR. RRs can be reliable IF YOU MEET ALL THE MAINTENANCE REQUIREMENTs, but I generally don’t like them because of their “feminine” status and the fact that most female celebrities/social media influencers own them.
And, even if you do need to replace the lifters , the cost will be cheaper compared to anything on the RR. Plus they can handle abuse better (even with their issues) too, unlike a European/German car.
If you too are part of the Beige Sucks club, this is a hearty laugh throughout:
https://www.theverge.com/2024/11/26/24303161/amazon-influencers-lawsuit-copyright-clean-aesthetic-girl-sydney-nicole-gifford-alyssa-sheil
I actually don’t have a problem with the new Range Rover design – I think it’s unique and looks its price tag. It’s also not trying to look angry, although I agree that Cold Indifference isn’t really my vibe either.
Edit: poking at the RR configurator, they’ve actually got a bunch of bright colors available on the new one, too. Shame about the marketing, but they will let you choose a shade which isn’t shared with a PC from the 90s.