As I believe I have made abundantly clear over these many years, I’m a man absolutely packed full of automotive fetishes of all manners and levels of depravity. One of the more mild yet persistent ones is a fondness for well-packed cargo areas of cars, trunks or frunks or luggage wells or, yes, vans.
I like thinking about these volumes of spaces into which one can cram things, and I especially like visualizing those volumes of spaces free from their surrounding structures. It’s a very niche and specific sort of thing to find compelling, but it does appear in the wild every now and then, and when it does, I’m delighted.
And, I’m delighted right now. That’s because I happened to encounter this Argentinian ad for the cargo version of the Volkswagen Type 2 transporter:
This ad hits all the key elements of my fetish: both well-packed cargo areas and a visualization of the cargo area itself. It’s only a two-dimensional representation – a full 3D structure would be even better, but I’m excited about it regardless. I like seeing the shape of the cargo area in a VW Type 2, which is largely a big unbroken rectangular prism, but does have to subtract the volume of space demanded by the drivetrain. It sort of ramps up at an angle there, clearing the transaxle and engine – which could be a Type 1 upright fan one or a flatter Type IV in this era, I’d think – and if the van had seats, the third row would be right in front of that little ramp.
Now, you may notice that I’ve redacted the labels of each of those filled areas of cargo; that’s because I thought it may be more fun if you get to guess! So, let’s see if you can identify what each of these cargo areas are crammed with:
Give it a guess! And just click the image to see the answers!
I guess if you made it this far, I can show you the original, un-redacted ad, too, if you can read Spanish, you’ll get the answers this way as well:
There is a bit of weirdness there; I don’t think I recognized those bottles of wine at first, and who puts “groceries” in boxes like that?
It’s such a good ad. And the last, unfilled space mentions my “everyday load” I can fill it with, which led me to imagine what the most glorious thing one could cram a VW cargo van full of; of course there’s really only one answer:
Chowder. Clam chowder, even, just fill that van to the brim full of hot, chunky, creamy clam chowder! Hear it slosh around as you drive, feel the weight shift, enjoy the warm, enveloping splash of chowder over your shoulders as you brake hard, knowing that for once in your life everything is perfect, as you haul around a van absolutely filled with clam chowder!
That’s the dream.
New England clam chowder is more popular, but lately I’ve been enjoying Mahatten clam chowder equally as much.
I know this movie quote doesn’t really fit your comment, but I cannot resist, “Is that the red or the white?”
My guess is it’s full of a load of hot air about the Falklands.
They’re a collection of small, rainy, miserable islands, mostly only suitable for sheep. I’m surprised anyone except the British would ever want to live there.
I hear the Falklands are pretty dingy too.
I thought that last picture was of John Deloreans payment to build the Delorean
I am a fan of the white clam chowder but a VW Vans worth? No thanks especially as it would be slapping the back of your head
Sacks of cocaine. Bomb them.
Baby hating condoms. Bomb them.
Clothes being donated to the poor. Bomb them.
Boxes of ballots from Georgia. Bomb them.
Marijuana disguised as house plants. Burn them.
I think the real answers might be
bags of Corn Bottles of Wine
Indoor Clothing Something to smoke that comes from Columbia
Flowers. Toddlers for the Rector.
Tour the Malvina’s brochures
madness resides in jason’s brain
I don’t think your everyday load is supposed to look like chowder. Maybe a side effect of chainsawing batteries.
I once made eleven-bean stew – in the biggest pot I own (6 litres I believe). On moving day. It was simmering on the stove all day and I ended up having to drive forty minutes through LA rush hour traffic with a giant pot in the passenger seat, filled to the brim with still bubbling bean stew. Nervewracking, neither “enveloping” (thank goodness) nor “perfect”.
Crammed with clam chowder
I can’t tell if that’s better or worse than being clammed with cram chowder.
I didn’t accurately guess the contents of the sacks or the boxes (hey, you in the back, stop snickering 😛 ), but I was basically right. I also dispute the “flowers” one because some of those plants are clearly not flowers.
I do wish I could’ve shown you the back of our 2012 Volt on our first family road trip to from Iowa to Orlando. I brought a full-sized junkyard-sourced spare since Volts came with just a compressor and fix-a-flat from the factory. In addition to that were all the Christmas presents for our family and the in-laws plus a week’s worth of luggage.
It took an entire evening to pack everything in just right, but I was able to do so utilizing the split flip-down seat in such a way as to have everything fit nearly knife night, yet still have rear-passenger access to a decent-sized cooler where our daughter could still act as flight attendant able to access snacks and drinks en-route.
The only thing more we could’ve possibly fit in there would have been about three cups of crack-filling chowder.
Those are sacks of Colombian Nose Candy.
Wrong kind of sacks.
There’s a right kind of sack for blow? I would think any sort that makes the cops think it is something other than blow would be the right kind.
I believe the correct answer is Shrimp.
I believe it’s spelled Shrimps. Served with white wine.