Southern Fried Oddities: 1984 Maserati Biturbo vs 1993 Subaru Vivio

For today’s Showdown, we’re heading into the deep south, to a state that has a really famous song written about it – and it’s one of my least favorite songs ever, so I’m not going to link to it. Coincidentally, it’s also the only state out of the lower 48 that I have never set foot in, or even driven through. Maybe that’s to my own detriment, because apparently sometimes folks there sell some really interesting cars.

Yesterday’s trucks of the great northern plains had you divided; many commenters liked the honest utility of the Chevy, while others liked the greater comfort of the Dodge. The Dodge’s air conditioning (which may or may not work, by the way) and gentler half-ton ride gave it the win, but it certainly wasn’t what I’d call a blowout.

I think I’d go for the Dodge as well, though I wish it were a manual. A half-ton longbed with 4WD seems to be the sweet spot when it comes to full-size pickups, and I’ve always liked the looks of those old Dodges. And if it’s good enough for Rick Simon, it has to be good, right?

I confess, I don’t know a whole lot about Alabama, but I don’t generally think of it as a hub for car culture. I know, it’s the home to Talladega, but it also seems that the residents there need a girl from New York to explain to them the difference between a Skylark and a Tempest. So I was pleasantly surprised fo find a cool Japanese kei car and a classic Italian sporty coupe for sale there. Let’s check them out.

1984 Maserati Biturbo Coupe – $4,995

Engine/drivetrain: Twin-turbocharged 2.5-liter OHC V6, five-speed manual, RWD

Location: Birmingham, AL

Odometer reading: 25,000 miles

Operational status: “Been in storage for years,” so probably isn’t roadworthy

I feel bad for Maserati. It’s a marque with a long history, first as a builder of race cars, later switching to road cars after the deadly crash during the Mille Miglia in 1957 – even though the car involved wasn’t one of theirs. The cars have always been fascinating, but ownership of the company has been passed around like a joint at a college party, only with not as much care. In the early 1980s, it was mostly owned by the Italian government, and helmed by Alejandro DeTomaso, after a disastrous turn under Citroën ownership. With the new leadership came a new direction, and a new platform – the Biturbo.

The name comes from its engine, a twin-turbocharged V6 that drives the rear wheels through a five-speed manual. Unlike most turbocharged engines, this one is fed by a carburetor. It’s a pain in the ass to tune, and it has a tendency to overheat, but this Maserati does do 185 – or rather, makes 185 horsepower. I can’t tell you whether this one runs or not; all the seller says is that it has been in storage for a long time. Even if it does start and run, you’ll need to do all the stuff you usually have to do to wake up a car: fluids, belts, hoses, etc.

I’ve never sat in a Biturbo, but I’ve always wanted to; those seats look like they belong in a cigar lounge at a fancy hotel, and I bet they’re as comfortable as they look. With only 25,000 miles on the odometer, this one hasn’t had a chance to get trashed yet, but it’s still a little rough around the edges.

The biggest disappointment about the Biturbo for me is not its exotic and unreliable engine, but its lackluster styling. It looks like a cross between a BMW E30 3 Series and a first-generation Chevy Cavalier, with some gaudy chrome stuff stuck on it. It’s not unattractive; it’s just dull, especially compared to earlier Maseratis. At least this one isn’t rusty; apparently its years in storage were indoors.

1993 Subaru Vivio T-Top – $4,900

Engine/drivetrain: 658 cc OHC inline 4, CVT automatic, FWD

Location: Daleville, AL

Odometer reading: 54,000 kilometers

Operational status: Runs and drives well

I find it funny that Americans never seem to want small cars – except the ones they can’t have. Ford Fiestas and Chevy Sparks and Mitsubishi Mirages are no longer available here, discontinued due to low sales, but even smaller cars are popular enough to import that they’re sparking legislation all over the country to deal with them – both for and against. Apparently, Alabama is fine with the little Japanese imports, because this Subaru Vivio T-Top is titled and registered.

Kei cars have an engine displacement limit of 660 cubic centimeters, and most manufacturers go right up to that line, as Subaru does here. The Vivio’s four-cylinder engine displaces 658 cc, just under the limit. It’s fuel-injected, fancy stuff for an early ’90s kei car, and drives the front wheels through Subaru’s electronically-controlled continuously variable transmission. The seller says it runs great, but doesn’t provide any details beyond that.

Inside, it’s in good shape, and it has the most ’90s upholstery I’ve ever seen. It looks like the intro credits to Saved By The Bell. I absolutely love it, and I think all small cars should have interiors that look like this. As you might suspect from the name, it has T-tops, as well as a retractable rear window for an even better open-air experience, but if you prefer, it also has air conditioning, and it works.

It’s nice and clean outside, but it does have some clearcoat coming off. Most Vivios are fairly ordinary three- and five-door hatchbacks; only 3,000 of these T-top models were made, making it a bona-fide collector’s item as well as a cool little weekend toy.

These are both pretty frivolous; one is an ordinary-looking Italian exotic that may or may not run, and the other is a Japanese-market toy that doesn’t make a lot of sense in America. But when has something as pedestrian as practicality ever stopped us? They both have the potential to be a cool toy for someone. Which one interests you more?