Remember back in 2023 when Tesla decided, bafflingly, that somehow stalks for controlling things like turn indicators and wipers were terrible, regressive things that were holding back the advancement of humans into beings of pure energy, and they replaced them with deeply stupid little buttons on the steering wheel? Remember that? I do. I think we all do. Tesla and its adoring flock were all pretty insufferable about it, despite there being no record of any human in recorded history actually wanting turn signals activated with fussy little buttons instead of a stalk. Well, good news! Tesla seems to have admitted their misstep, and you can now buy a kit to retrofit your Model 3 with real turn signal stalks, as nature intended. “Kit” may be a little misleading, as you do have to take your car to a Tesla service center to have it installed, but still.
Well, if you’re in China, at least. And it costs about $350 whether you’re ordering stalks as an option on your new Model Y or getting the Model 3 retrofit kit. That feels a little like a kick in the teeth, but, hey, it’s a step in the right direction.
At the moment, this upgrade – and, yes, this is unquestionably an upgrade, everyone who wishes to argue with my choice of word there should feel free to go scratch – is only available for “Highland” version Model 3 cars, which appeared first around August 2023, though the website notes that
“This service is available for Model 3 vehicles without steering stalks manufactured after February 7, 2025. Vehicles manufactured before this date will have this service available later.”
I don’t really have any insight why this upgrade only is for such recent cars? Unless that’s when they started planning for a possible return to stalks, and perhaps have hardware that makes the swap easier? I’m just guessing. I’m also going to guess that Model Ys shouldn’t be too far behind when it comes to an upgrade like this, one would think.
I’m very pleased to see a major automaker like Tesla paying attention to the needs and wants of its buyers and potential buyers over inane ideas that happen to be ones held by the leadership of the company, as this inane idea seemed to be. Remember, Elon Musk himself was quite eager to eliminate stalks:
No more stalks. Car guesses drive direction based on what obstacles it sees, context & nav map. You can override on touchscreen.
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) January 28, 2021
I was never exactly clear if this tweet was referring to the PRNDL shifter stalk or turn indicator stalks as well, but he pretty clearly states “no more stalks,” so I think that covers all stalks.
We’re seeing a return to physical controls over touch-screen controls and other misguided forays into techno-dumbassery, and I think this is a good thing, overall. On some level, automakers need to stop being so enamored with the latest shiny thing and stop listening to easily-swayed and wow’d focus groups and really looking at how normal, well-adjusted humans who have, maybe, a few weird sex kinks that they keep well-managed actually like to drive and how they interact with their cars, day after day.
I also think all of the hardcore, kneejerk Tesla supporters and followers should look back on how they attempted to blindly justify and champion these bad decisions, and they should have a few hard moments of feeling stupid as they reflect upon the idea that Tesla themselves are rolling back this misguided crap.
buttons are easier, but people dont like to get out of their comfort zone and try something new… ahem boomers
— Mystic (@Mystic2133) May 25, 2023
Like these doofi, going all someone-trying-to-carry-a-bowl-of-popcorn-and-a-remote-on-an-infomercial with the normal use of stalks or accusing everyone who doesn’t want to deal with inconvenient and stupid turn signal buttons as “boomers,” these people need to be sat down and told that Tesla now thinks that stalks are okay, and that we have always been at war with Eastasia, or something else like that designed to, you know, make them feel at least a little bad.
The important thing is that this emerging trend of stalklessness seems to be dying on the vine, and that’s good for all drivers and people of good moral standing. Now let’s hope Tesla expands this to every car they so thoughtlessly stalkcumcised, and that it gets out of China and goes global, too.
(top image: Tesla China)
Tesla switched from the fanboys who wanted the weird tech to car people who want a common sense vehicle.
Reading that tweet I can’t help but picture a Tesla on autopilot politely indicating its intent to plow into the back of the fire engine first.
What signal would that be and does it cost extra?
> they should have a few hard moments of feeling stupid as they reflect
The latter won’t happen, so the former won’t either.
Okay, the “guessing” based on the nav map part…
Does he know that sometimes people know where things are and don’t enter their destination in on a map?
This – 80% of my driving is sans GPS. I know my city well and can navigate perfectly fine. I also know a number of other cites/towns well enough to get around without GPS constantly nagging me. I almost always leave the volume off on my GPS as well…
Is this just Tesla throwing shade on BMW?
I am in the minority with this opinion, but I actually don’t mind the steering wheel buttons. I’ve driven a stalkless Model 3 on a few occasions and it wasn’t much different from driving an older Model 3. It took me about a minute to get used to. I also didn’t mind using the touch screen for shifting.
I’m not saying getting rid of stalks made the cars better, but I don’t think it made them substantially worse. I’m curious how many people who criticize Tesla controls have actually driven one. Aside from having to open the glove box using the touchscreen (which is one of the dumbest things I have ever seen), they are fairly intuitive.
“NO STALKS WAS THR BEST EVER!1!” said no regular driver.
This only controls turn signals. No quick flash of the high beams allowed. Also bring back the gear shift stalk. Lining up a trailer is so much easier. Or, say, turning into a tight space. Up to reverse and down for forward just works.
So, what you’re telling us is that Elon has returned to stalking. How is this news?
Eh, we’ve all done it one time or another, I still say Charles Kuralt dug up my garden
Shouldn’t have planted your garden right on the road.
Yeah, that was Jack Kerou-wack
Kuralt did a popular segment on CBS news called “On the Road” for over 20 years, beginning in 1967. Basically, human interest stories from the backroads of America. No doubt, the title was inspired by Kerouac.
Oh, I know 🙂 The implication was that building one’s garden on the road was a wack thing to do.
Happily the title really tied the comments together
I’m so ashamed.
Nah, don’t be. 🙂
Stuff that sounds funny in my head a) might not actually be funny and b) even if it is, the funny might not make it to the page
Right there with you.
“Ahem Boomers.” That little dweeb drives me stalk raving mad.
I’m not a boomer and I want to give him a nuclear wedgie.
(I don’t know what that is, I just know he needs one).
I believe that was the underwear band going up and over the head and worn like a sweatband.
That makes sense: there can be only one.
I’m pro-stalk. A stalker, if you will.
“You can override on touchscreen”
What’s bad is I can’t quite guess if he meant “There will be turn signal buttons on the touchscreen” or “You can use the touchscreen to configure the car to use some physical turn signal buttons on the wheel or whatever instead of letting the computer predict your upcoming turns”
Either seems equally likely.
BMW and Harley both eliminated the traditional turn signal switch used on most other motorcycles.
I know I’d be able to get accustomed to it, it just drives me a little batty to think that of all the brands around the world who use the same little switch in the same position that operates (more or less) the same – they’ve felt the need to reinvent it.
If it truly was better, all motorcycles would have the independent buttons like a BMW. But I think the two brands are using it to further entrench themselves and discourage people from jumping from one brand to another by keeping theirs “different”.
I think the Harley/BMW turn signal buttons are genuinely superior to the traditional motorcycle turn signal switch. The buttons are larger and much easier to use, particularly when you are wearing gloves. The old switch was better when you had to manually cancel your signal after turning, but with self-cancelling turn signals the buttons are superior.
I currently own a Harley and a Honda and, despite having ridden motorcycles with the old style switch for 20+ years, I find the Harley’s turn signals much more intuitive.
I think that, in time, all motorcycles will adopt the buttons over the old switch. Unlike Tesla’s buttons which were presumably designed to reduce production costs, the Harley/BMW buttons actually are an improvement.
good move, bring back the stalks.
Usually, the more stalks the better unless a stalk takes on more than one function.
wiper stalks with integrated cruise control? horrible.
but a dedicated mini stalk for cruise control – that’s the way cruise control was meant to be. sadly these used to be on all toyotas but I haven’t seen one now that adaptive cruise is everywhere.
we seem to have settled on 2 stalks and ever increasing steering wheel buttons, and I think this is a big problem and also a step backwards. if you regularly drive more than one car, learning the position of the steering wheel buttons is next to impossible.
The main advantage to all stalks is that you don’t have to take your eyes off the road to use them. This is almost never the case with steering wheel buttons. and with steering wheel buttons (unlike buttons on the dash), the windshield is completely out of your field of view when looking down at them. with all of the automotive safety regulation, i’m very surprised that this hasn’t been addressed. i’m not suggesting a regulation here but wow, low hanging fruit.
Stalkcumcised! Grade-A Torch.
Good. It’s a start.
Tesla defenders have got to be the largest group of people afflicted with Stockholm Syndrome in recorded history.
Insert topical joke about politicians here.
We’re selling fewer cars and our carbon credits racket is about the be decimated. How do we boost profits?
“Introducing the UniSeat! Multiple seats in your Tesla vehicle is sooo 20th century and you should feel ashamed for wanting them. Mo’ seats, mo’ problems, amirite? You’ll thank us for only providing one! Now, for you boomers and pedos who must have multiple seats in your vehicle we will begrudgingly provide the MultiSeat Retrofit for the low price of $3999, or available as a convenient subscription for $39.99/month!”