Remember back in 2023 when Tesla decided, bafflingly, that somehow stalks for controlling things like turn indicators and wipers were terrible, regressive things that were holding back the advancement of humans into beings of pure energy, and they replaced them with deeply stupid little buttons on the steering wheel? Remember that? I do. I think we all do. Tesla and its adoring flock were all pretty insufferable about it, despite there being no record of any human in recorded history actually wanting turn signals activated with fussy little buttons instead of a stalk. Well, good news! Tesla seems to have admitted their misstep, and you can now buy a kit to retrofit your Model 3 with real turn signal stalks, as nature intended. “Kit” may be a little misleading, as you do have to take your car to a Tesla service center to have it installed, but still.
Well, if you’re in China, at least. And it costs about $350 whether you’re ordering stalks as an option on your new Model Y or getting the Model 3 retrofit kit. That feels a little like a kick in the teeth, but, hey, it’s a step in the right direction.
At the moment, this upgrade – and, yes, this is unquestionably an upgrade, everyone who wishes to argue with my choice of word there should feel free to go scratch – is only available for “Highland” version Model 3 cars, which appeared first around August 2023, though the website notes that
“This service is available for Model 3 vehicles without steering stalks manufactured after February 7, 2025. Vehicles manufactured before this date will have this service available later.”
I don’t really have any insight why this upgrade only is for such recent cars? Unless that’s when they started planning for a possible return to stalks, and perhaps have hardware that makes the swap easier? I’m just guessing. I’m also going to guess that Model Ys shouldn’t be too far behind when it comes to an upgrade like this, one would think.
I’m very pleased to see a major automaker like Tesla paying attention to the needs and wants of its buyers and potential buyers over inane ideas that happen to be ones held by the leadership of the company, as this inane idea seemed to be. Remember, Elon Musk himself was quite eager to eliminate stalks:
No more stalks. Car guesses drive direction based on what obstacles it sees, context & nav map. You can override on touchscreen.
— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) January 28, 2021
I was never exactly clear if this tweet was referring to the PRNDL shifter stalk or turn indicator stalks as well, but he pretty clearly states “no more stalks,” so I think that covers all stalks.
We’re seeing a return to physical controls over touch-screen controls and other misguided forays into techno-dumbassery, and I think this is a good thing, overall. On some level, automakers need to stop being so enamored with the latest shiny thing and stop listening to easily-swayed and wow’d focus groups and really looking at how normal, well-adjusted humans who have, maybe, a few weird sex kinks that they keep well-managed actually like to drive and how they interact with their cars, day after day.
I also think all of the hardcore, kneejerk Tesla supporters and followers should look back on how they attempted to blindly justify and champion these bad decisions, and they should have a few hard moments of feeling stupid as they reflect upon the idea that Tesla themselves are rolling back this misguided crap.
buttons are easier, but people dont like to get out of their comfort zone and try something new… ahem boomers
— Mystic (@Mystic2133) May 25, 2023
Like these doofi, going all someone-trying-to-carry-a-bowl-of-popcorn-and-a-remote-on-an-infomercial with the normal use of stalks or accusing everyone who doesn’t want to deal with inconvenient and stupid turn signal buttons as “boomers,” these people need to be sat down and told that Tesla now thinks that stalks are okay, and that we have always been at war with Eastasia, or something else like that designed to, you know, make them feel at least a little bad.
The important thing is that this emerging trend of stalklessness seems to be dying on the vine, and that’s good for all drivers and people of good moral standing. Now let’s hope Tesla expands this to every car they so thoughtlessly stalkcumcised, and that it gets out of China and goes global, too.
(top image: Tesla China)
I have turn signal buttons on one of my cars (it’s not a tesla) and let me tell you…it’s easily the worst thing about the car. I wish the magicians in Italy would also admit this idiocy too, it doesn’t impede the massive paddles!