Have you ever wondered about what the worst way to tow a car would be? I mean, somewhat realistically worst, not, like, using your braided pubes tied to a tow hitch kind of worst. I mean like normal daily-living sort of worst. And I think this question has been answered by some intrepid and possibly cheap but definitely misguided DIY car-towers in Texas. They seem to have managed this remarkable feat of dangerous half-assery around Houston, and happily no one was hurt, but oh man, what a mess.
The towing debacle happened a few days ago on the 610 Loop in Houston, when a man’s Saab 9-3 convertible broke down, and, not having the money for a tow truck, called his girlfriend to bring her Ford Expedition to give him a tow. She did, and they hitched the Saab to the Ford via a chain, but for some unknown reason, decided to tow it backwards, with what must have been an unsecured steering wheel, because that Saab was flopping all over the road like a disgruntled sturgeon.
News reports suggest that “an axle broke” though I’m wondering if what we’re seeing is just the result of not securing the steering, though it’s certainly possible that there was some suspension damage as well, leading to the wild fishtailing.
Here, watch the video, and feel that uneasy mix of schadenfreude and discomfort that comes from watching a mess like this unfold:
There were some eyewitness videos from street level, too, which really show just how mucg that car was whipping around:
You can see they’re in a particularly bad spot, with no good shoulder to pull over onto, and I suspect a good amount of panic is at play here, causing them to keep driving, hoping the whole situation will just be over soon.
The driver of the Saab, who went on to drive the SUV, was 32-year old Dontae Brown, who was arrested on unrelated charges, though in what may be an act of realization that the man’s day was going bad enough already, no charges were issued for the idiotic towing attempt.
Part of me can sort of commiserate here; I’ve definitely had times when I’ve been broke with a broken down car, and done some desperate things to get it back home, like driving backwards through town at 3 am because my car was jammed in reverse.
In this case, though, I think the lesson is don’t tow a car with the wheels that steer unsecured. It won’t go well.
Holy jesus… I didn’t realize he was IN THE CAR. Goddamn. He is going to be very very sore.
We can only hope.
This is why we can’t have nice things.
What the actual Ford was he thinking. (Sorry, cleanest four letter dirty word I could post)
THAT will teach those pesky tailgaters!!
I guess they read the GCWR part of Mercedes’ post on selecting a tow vehicle but missed the actual trailer part of the article. See kids. This what happens when you skim through your reading assignment.
He probably saw the article on the taxi falling off of the car carrier and decided it was safer not to call for a tow.
I drive through that stretch of freeway from time to time, luckily I missed out on this display of foolishment on that day. I’ve definitely seen some shit in this town though.
How is that not illegal? They are not staying in their lane, and their towed vehicle is out of control.
(native Houstonian)… ohhh… you’re so cute…
Bless your heart.
This!
In my experience, Houston displays the most unpredictable drivers
(much more extreme than LA, Hong Kong and Mexico City)
It’s absolutely a citable offense. But they arrested the guy for something else already. Adding charges for the towing stunt would have just been more paperwork.
They arrested him on a warrant, so this is how Dontae keeps a low profile.
We had a SAAB 900 Turbo 4 door hatch. My wife was driving it to work w/ the 8 & 10 yr old kids in the back seat. For some reason she put it in reverse at a stoplight, then couldn’t get it back out of reverse. So… she backed it all the way home (a mile plus), getting into the lane that matched her direction of travel and getting off the main drag after about 1/2 mile and taking the back streets to the house. Of course, even though it was in reverse, she couldn’t remove the key.
Impressive.
Found out more of the story. She had put the gearbox in neutral (with foot off the clutch) while waiting at a red light. Come the green light, it would not go into 1st, only reverse. Hence the drive home. 😉
Dateline: Houston
Texas man wins automatic Florida citizenship.
They had probably seen cars towed backwards with the rear wheels lifted off the pavement by a tow truck, and not noticed that it was a tow truck and only one set of wheels was on the ground. Obviously not detail-oriented. Also, not looking in their rearview mirror. Also, not noticing that the rear of the towing car was being whipped back and forth and thinking that perhaps stopping to investigate might be a good idea.
The news always has a Saab story.
Yeah, I don’t think the front suspension in that car was set up to basically go in reverse that fast. It has negative camber for stability, which becomes positive camber when going backwards, which causes instability. Huibert or David could probably confirm or correct me.
Anyway, I’d wrap the chain around the sway bar, an a-frame, or even through the windows around the windshield before I’d try THAT. Flat-towing a car with just a chain down the road is sketchy enough as it is.
Caster, not camber, but I think your point stands.
I think you meant caster, not camber. Or maybe toe. Camber would be the same in either direction.
Ask Buckminster Fuller about rear steer.
Oh and don’t use a chain.
What happens when you use a chain is the towing car slows down, the chain goes slack, the driver in the towed car not wanting to hit the towing car applies the brakes, the towng car is now going faster than the car in tow, the chain goes taught but it doesn’t stretch and one or both of the cars gets torn apart.
Use a rope or a strap. And not a cable. When a steel cable stretches to failure there is a tremendous amount of kinetic energy released as it returns to its relaxed length
How the fuck did they not receive tickets for this???
Forget it, Jake… it’s Houston.
This is about as dangerous as it gets so I’m glad to hear they did take anyone out. I just can’t stop laughing to myself on how the guy in the Saab must have been reacting. This looks like it could have been a scene out of Grumpy Old Men or Jackass. ????
This is great stuff.
The front tow hitch is really hard to find on Saabs, which might explain why he hooked it up backwards
I was once one of 4 qualified engineers all trying to screw in a front tow eye to a car for ten minutes, until I finally spotted that it was a left-handed thread…
Uhh.. U-haul car dolly for 500 Alex?
I about lost my shit seeing this dumb dude through the side window apparently whip sawing the Saab’s wheel then noticing the brake lights going on and off. That day his girlfriend gave him the special ride he deserved before the cops gave him a ride to jail on his unrelated, no doubt dumb criminal type, warrant.
It said the man was driving
Lots of other reports said it was the girlfriend driving, and he was in the Saab. Reporters – can’t expect them to be *accurate*, now can we?
It’s Houston. Par for the course. I’ve seen an Altima tow a broken down Ram 3500, but they at least had the sense to tow it facing forwards to steer.
This. For everyone who hasn’t lived in Houston this is a crazy stupid thing to both do and see, but for Houstonians it’s just Tuesday.
I lived in Houston, I saw people shooting at each other but never anything like this
You must not have gone on 610 very often, because I saw crap like this all the time in my decade in Houston. The vehicle convoys to Mexico, where they pull the bumpers off of auction vehicles and haul a train of 2-4 cars with the least garbage vehicle, did stuff like this all the time. I’ve seen vehicles tethered with ropes swaying across lanes. I’ve seen vehicles being towed with multiple missing tires and the wheels just sparking along the ground. Houston is pretty much Florida, but with oil companies.
Oh yes, the auto trains. I drive from Nashville to Mobile a few times a year, I will always see them headed south on I-65 and then West on I-10 headed to the border.
I live near a Copart and I occasionally see some pretty sketchy towing setups. Usually they have a trailer, but I have seen a junky van or truck pulling an even junkier vehicle with a strap. I wish our local police department would sit at the driveway and put a stop to the sketchy trailering and towing.
I found out from some co-workers that those three car hitches are usually going to Guatemala, where there is, shall we say, a liberal titling/registration culture.
Yep – as demonstrated by having a Dallas station air it rather than one of ours.
Having done lots of time in Houston for work, I’d say a day that ends in “y”.
Big Altima Energy, baby!
One of my favorites was heading to the airport from the westside one morning via Beltway 8.
Guy in a Ram 3500 Dually weaving through traffic at probably 90+ shoving that truck into some near impossible gaps and his luck runs out right in front of me. Goes to the right to pass the guy ahead of him, hits a Centerpoint truck with a cherry picker on the back. The centerpoint truck goes on TWO WHEELS but thankfully for that driver doesn’t go over.
How I managed to avoid getting tangled up in it while having a front row seat amazes me.
There also once was a lady in the F150 on the beltway who refused to let anyone pass her- weaving across 5 lanes to actively and aggressively keep everyone behind her.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ass-backward
They should add this street view video.
I assume the front tow eye screw was nowhere to be found? However, the rear tie down was right there ready to use, so why not? Obviously he had no idea about rear steering. He does now.
I’m a bit stunned he wasn’t injured by all the whipping around. And can you imagine the cell conversation going on between them during all that. Hahahaha, that poor woman.
Ford needs to make a commercial out of this. The Expedition was Boss!
I hope he was arrested for crimes against Saabs, but that’s just me.
hear hear!
Totally agree. This has been all over the Saab internet like Reddit, facebook groups, etc. Also had a couple of people send me a link.
In solidarity with that poor, towed convertible mine refused to start today. I’ll threaten it with a towing tomorrow to see if anything improves.
Yeah I’ve seen it makes the rounds too. Breaks my heart seeing that poor helpless Saab get treated like that.
In further solidarity, I have a flat tire on my 9-3, and a bird did its business on it. So some air and a bath are in order.
If we’re not going to charge people for such reckless, and dangerous, stupidity – how will people not learn?
By blown tires, broken axles, and severe public shaming.
Well, they were going to arrest him, but then he gave them a Saab story and they took pity on him.
In all seriousness, it’s technically the female driver of the Ford that should have been ticketed, as she was doing the towing.
I’m guessing she was pressured into it, and learned a few hard lessons that day. She’s lucky her car wasn’t severely damaged. I’m okay with her not getting ticketed, as dumbass boyfriend went to the clink anyway due to the outstanding warrants.
Seems like a good use of police discretion, to me anyway.
I doubt anything done in a pickup can be considered a crime in Texas.
If they’ve finally legalized door-to-door dildo sales, then no.
It’s legal, but only for use in state-approved gender roles.
I think the ending note about the open warrant probably instigated this…episode. If you’re stopped on the side of the road it won’t be long until highway patrol shows up, so instead of taking the time to do it right they hooked this thing up to get out as soon as possible.
I concur. A broken cluch slave cylinder got a cousin of mine arrested, funnily enough he lied to the officer and said he was his older brother who also had a warrant for driving on a suspended license. My uncle had to go bail him out and had to identify which of his two sons the officer had arrested because both of them had warrants for the same thing. Not a good day for the arrestee, but funny enough to brighten the officer’s day.
Oh that’s pretty funny. Yeah the cops know what’s what, I had one question me about my cousin when I rolled my Neon(early morning/black ice/curve/guardrail situation). There I am still in shock and the officer on the scene is like, if you know where he is we’d appreciate it, just want to help him get things squared away.
I’m sitting there like my only car is sitting in the ditch totaled and this guy’s asking about my heroine addict cousin, nice. Then another car slide off in the same spot and wound up on someone’s yard so they refocused on the situation at hand.
I’m guessing the reason they decided to tow it backwards was for one of two reasons. #1 it was parked in a spot with the back out so they just hooked it up like that and didn’t think to turn it around. #2 they couldn’t find a place to attach the chain at the front.
Had they been pulling it from the front they would have been fine as you would be able to steer it.
From other reporting – the girlfriend was driving the SUV, the arrested dumbass was IN the poor Saab trying to steer and brake. And you can see him flopping around in there in the low level video.
Must have been a wild ride – how dumb does girlfriend have to be to obliviously keep going as the Saab is wildly fishtailing all over the place? How did she think “I’ll just keep going, it will be FINE”? Unreal. Houston – giving Florida a run for it’s money for a hundred years.
Yeah I don’t understand why she kept on going. Maybe she doesn’t know how to use a mirror, for more than checking her makeup?
Wait, so he did plan on staying inside to steer and brake, and they still decided to tow it backwards? It seems like all of that would be a lot easier facing the right direction
Evidently. Guessing it was easier to hook up the chain to the back?
Baffling all around.
The last thing he told her was “Don’t stop for anything!”
I thought it was “why did you turn?!”
Vying for 2nd place behind California