Have you ever wondered about what the worst way to tow a car would be? I mean, somewhat realistically worst, not, like, using your braided pubes tied to a tow hitch kind of worst. I mean like normal daily-living sort of worst. And I think this question has been answered by some intrepid and possibly cheap but definitely misguided DIY car-towers in Texas. They seem to have managed this remarkable feat of dangerous half-assery around Houston, and happily no one was hurt, but oh man, what a mess.
The towing debacle happened a few days ago on the 610 Loop in Houston, when a man’s Saab 9-3 convertible broke down, and, not having the money for a tow truck, called his girlfriend to bring her Ford Expedition to give him a tow. She did, and they hitched the Saab to the Ford via a chain, but for some unknown reason, decided to tow it backwards, with what must have been an unsecured steering wheel, because that Saab was flopping all over the road like a disgruntled sturgeon.
News reports suggest that “an axle broke” though I’m wondering if what we’re seeing is just the result of not securing the steering, though it’s certainly possible that there was some suspension damage as well, leading to the wild fishtailing.
Here, watch the video, and feel that uneasy mix of schadenfreude and discomfort that comes from watching a mess like this unfold:
There were some eyewitness videos from street level, too, which really show just how mucg that car was whipping around:
You can see they’re in a particularly bad spot, with no good shoulder to pull over onto, and I suspect a good amount of panic is at play here, causing them to keep driving, hoping the whole situation will just be over soon.
The driver of the Saab, who went on to drive the SUV, was 32-year old Dontae Brown, who was arrested on unrelated charges, though in what may be an act of realization that the man’s day was going bad enough already, no charges were issued for the idiotic towing attempt.
Part of me can sort of commiserate here; I’ve definitely had times when I’ve been broke with a broken down car, and done some desperate things to get it back home, like driving backwards through town at 3 am because my car was jammed in reverse.
In this case, though, I think the lesson is don’t tow a car with the wheels that steer unsecured. It won’t go well.
This is right by the house I just moved out of in Houston. I’d like to say this is the worst thing I’ve ever seen in Houston, but its not. This is regular average weekday stuff in that city.
There are a lot of Florida men in SE Texas.
When I was a kid my dad’s K-Car Chrysler New Yorker (a majestic steed indeed) broke down on the Taconic from NYC to Albany and my Uncle came in her Lebaron (another majestic steed) and they used ROPE to tie the two together and drove an hour and a half back to Albany.
I didn’t think anything of it at the time and it worked out, but my god that might have been the dumbest thing my dad and uncle ever attempted. ESPECIALLY with no one sitting in the New Yorker!
The sad thing is I bet this person is eligible to vote.
Hopefully whatever else they were arrested for is a felony
No comment needed.
“Of course you don’t do that,” I said to myself.
And myself asked, “But how do you know not to do that?”
And I realized I was blessed to grow up on a farm with a variety of semi-sketchy vehicular projects and a wise and patient father. Thanks, Dad!
We all saab that coming.
Previously on a similar highway — the chain was attached to the front bumper and the bumper fell off…
Probably why they went the back way.
His name is “Dontae Brown” ?Didn’t you mean “Don’t-tow Brown” ?
Almost looks like someone is sitting in there, unless that is the driver seat flopping around.
That’s not the lesson. The lesson is that the only correct way to flat-tow is with the towed car facing forward and the steering unsecured. When doing this with a proper tow bar, don’t let anyone ride in the towed vehicle. When, in an emergency, doing this with a chain or strap, have a driver onboard the towed vehicle to control the steering and brakes, making sure that both of these systems work properly before they’re needed. The driver being towed needs to understand that it’s their responsibility to steer their own vehicle and to keep the tow line from going slack.
It’s also the responsibility of the driver of the lead vehicle to, you know, keep watch in the mirror to make sure things aren’t going poorly.
Finally, and I can’t stress this enough, whenever possible use two SAABs:
https://live.staticflickr.com/5818/20910123461_a225c21dbd_c.jpg
I don’t know what he did to make her that mad…
This is exactly what I was thinking as the most logical reason.
The road to hell is paved with overconfidence (usually male overconfidence).
That’s a great advertisement for the quality of that chain though.
You put your right wheel toe in
You put your left wheel toe in
And she’ll center herself out
You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around
And you shake it all about
That’s what it’s all about!