The Pope Is On A Motorcycle

I’ll happily admit that the whole motivation for this story is that BMW released a picture of the Pope on a motorcycle. That’s not something one sees all that often, and it’s a compelling image, so we really didn’t have a choice here; we had to do something about it. I think first I’ll explain why this all happened, because it really all is for something noble, then I think I’ll make up some stuff because I can’t help it, and fundamentally, I’m a child.

The motorcycle is a brand-new BMW R 18 Transcontinental, which you can think of as BMW’s boxer-powered Gold Wing, if you like to think in terms of Honda motorcycles. The motorcycle was presented at the Vatican to Pope Leo XIV by Markus Flasch, the CEO of BMW Motorrad and Michael Sommer, head of BMW Motorrad Germany, though the whole idea to give the Pope the bike originated from German BMW motorcycle dealer Witzel and Thomas Draxler, founder of JESUS-BIKER® (the BMW press release always has that name in all caps and with the ® so I guess we just ®oll with it).

In pictures, the pontiff is seated side-saddle on the motorcyle, though it’s possible he mounted it properly off-camera.

Even though the custom-painted Ecclesiastical White motorcycle, complete with the Vatican coat-of-arms was technically given to the Pope, it was again taken from him as soon as he signed it. It’s not clear if the Pope protested or demanded the bike back, but seeing as how the bike is to be auctioned off on October 18 in Munich, and the proceeds donated (via Missio Austria) to helping to make the plight of children working in mica mines in Madagascar better, my guess is he didn’t.

It’s a very noble cause! I hope this sells for tons of money and gets those kids out of that misery.

JESUS-BIKER® was responsible for getting the bike from Schaafheim, Germany to the Vatican on a three-day ride. The group is dedicated to doing charitable works and the membership requirements are, at least according to a Protestant group member who was at the ceremony, “You just have to be baptized, believe in Jesus Christ, and have a motorcycle.”

Claus Dempewolf, who is in charge of recruitment for the group, noted that membership is not decided by him, stating

“That’s decided by our president and our road captain; our president is Jesus Christ, our road captain is the Holy Spirit.”

Neither Jesus Christ nor the Holy Spirit was available for comment regarding these claims.

Man, it sure sounds like people are saying “cheeses” instead of “Jesus” in that clip, which would really change the meaning of this video.

Let’s move a bit beyond the tedious “truth” now, as we dig into this story a bit more. I think what is most fascinating is that Pope Leo XIV’s name-predecessor, Leo XIII, was actually the first Pope to be gifted a motorcycle!

Leo XIII was head of the Catholic Church from 1878 to 1903, and in 1884 a steam-powered motorcycle was gifted to the Pope by Alphonse Roper, the son of Sylvester Roper, the American steam motorcycle and velocipede pioneer.

The 1884 Papal Edition Roper Steamcycle was eagerly accepted by Pope Leo XIII, who still holds the external-combustion speed record for St.Peter’s Square at 82.7 mph. In 1888, the Pope crashed the steamcycle through the sliding glass back doors of the Apostolic Palace and was forbidden from riding it after that.

In a reaction to the current Pope’s motorcycle, the other Pope, Coptic Pope Tawadros II of Alexandria, issued a statement of congratulations to Pope Leo XIV, but threw a little shade, noting that

“I would welcome the opportunity to ride with His Holiness, though I would wonder if such a comfortable and substantial bike can keep up with my Kawasaki Ninja, especially along the twisting Corniche road just a ways away from the Holy See of St.Mark.

If Pope Leo XIV isn’t too afraid to get on his big white Moby Dick there and see if that thing can lean into some corners, I would welcome the opportunity. Maybe we can meet up to mark the 52nd anniversary of the Christological Agreement with a race? If His Holiness isn’t chicken, of course.”

If Pope Leo XIV can get the bike back to do such a race, it would mark the first Pope v. Pope race since Popes Benedict XIV and Mark VII had a horse race on the Amalfi coast in 1751. The winner was never formally announced.

Top photo: BMW