What do people remember about Saab beyond their absolute obsession with safety? A rich rally heritage, early two-stroke weirdness, turbocharged torque-steer and console-mounted ignition switches come to mind, but the thing the internet freaks out about is a series of elaborate dash-mounted cup holders.
See, when many European brands needed to introduce cup holders as key convenience features for the U.S. market, it was seemingly done so with a grudge. The tiny tangs on an E39 BMW 5 Series work better as drink-throwers than drink-holders, Mercedes-Benz’s early-2000s two-tier setup seemed simultaneously complicated and janky, and the less said about Audi’s slide-out dashboard cup holders that would spill Crystal Pepsi all over the radio and climate controls, the better. Saab, on the other hand, dared to be different.
How could it not? Even after being acquired by GM, the firm had this mindset of doing things unapologetically its way. Sometimes this resulted in wild expenses, but sometimes those expenses were beautiful. We’re talking clean, minimalist, runway-thin cup holders that pirouetted out of dashboards with elegance. Sure, they might not have gripped cups the tightest, but they were sights to behold.
These days, it feels like everyone on the internet knows about Saab’s dashboard cup holders. How could they not? With this much theater, future virality was virtually assured. It’s the sort of thing that makes the Rube Goldberg parts of our brains go “ooooh,” which makes it a magnificent item to play with in traffic. However, these flip-out cup holders aren’t the strangest Saab has offered. That would go to an even more unusual optional cup holder on the second-generation 9-3.
The early 2000s were sort-of a golden age for weird cabin storage, partly because everyone just had so much stuff. Your phone probably didn’t have a camera in it, your music was likely stored on funny silver discs, your parking was always verified by machine. Maybe that’s why the 2003 Saab 9-3 marked the arrival of something called Smart Slot. Out of the gate, it wasn’t much more than a card holder that mirrored the look of the handbrake on the other side of the center console. However, a quick perusal of the accessory catalog revealed a multitude of uses.
One of the more popular accessories and the one I’m talking about in the headline is the Smart Slot cup holder, because it grasps an aluminum can like it’s a Fushigi ball Basically, it folds into more-or-less a straight line of plastic when not in use, but both arms swivel open to accommodate your soda du jour. It’s definitely a worthwhile addition, but wait, there’s more.
Saab was from Sweden, and you don’t need an enormous grasp of geography to know that Sweden gets cold. Cold enough for not just frost, but proper ice. If you’ve never come out to an ice-coated car, you’re missing out of the pain of stuck doors and the joy of rolling down a window, seeing a sheet of ice still there, and punching that sucker out like you’re a freakin’ action hero. Unfortunately, you can’t pull that move with a windshield, so an ice scraper is a required accessory. How about an ice scraper that stows in your center console? Saab thought of that.
Okay, if I had a dollar for every pixel in this photo, I’d have seventeen yen. Still, it’s a rare look at Saab’s Smart Slot CD case. Need music on tap? Throw your second cup holder in the glovebox and click this into place. It holds six pieces of 4.72-inch optical media, and critically, you can take it with you. This might come as a shock to younger readers, but twenty-something years ago, it wasn’t uncommon to get your CDs jacked if you parked in a questionable area. If they were originals, they were like $12.99 a pop. Sure, there was Limewire, but we aren’t going to talk about it right now. Park up, grab all your CDs in one case, click the cup holder back in, boom.
The Smart Slot ruled. An unusually elegant removable cup holder that could be swapped out for an ice scraper, or a CD case, or a place to put your parking pass when you don’t want to hang it from the mirror. Sure, the cup holder was optional, but it’s a properly cool albeit pricey addition if you can find one second-hand. Oh, and because it was optional, there’s one more little thing I need to show you that was actually a standard feature.
Did you know that the Saab 9-3 SportCombi had a cup holder in the trunk for a Thermos? I bet there’s even enough space next to it for a bag of mini marshmallows to put in your cocoa.
Top graphic images: Saab
My 900 has zero cupholders because it was built for driving. Saab had not yet been diluted by the crass needs of Americans.