Changing a tire is one of those things that you may as well accept is just going to happen at some point in your driving life. Well, if you have a car with a spare tire, at least. You can’t predict exactly when or where a tire may fail, which means that we often end up changing tires in less-than-ideal circumstances. On the side of a busy road, in the rain, at night, when you’re already tired and frustrated, a pack of angry weasels menacing you from the bushes – no one is ever happy that they have to pull over to change a flat tire. That’s why, ideally, car designers and engineers really should do all they can to make the process as painless as possible. Unless, it seems, you were working for Range Rover around 2013 to 2022 or so, when it seems perverse masochists were in charge of the whole spare tire process on the second-gen Range Rover Sport.
I know this sounds harsh, but I just recently happened to come across the procedure – complete with specialized equipment that sure looks like bondage gear – required to get a 2013-2022 Range Rover Sport’s spare tire out of its well so you can change the tire. It’s absurd. And it pisses me off.
I’m serious about the equipment looking like bondage gear: I have the actual equipment in this image twice, surrounded by S&M gear. See if you can pick the Range Rover parts!
Not so easy, is it?
Here’s how the process is shown in the owner’s manual, so you can get an idea of what those straps do:
It looks kind of like you’re rigging up some sort of ersatz tire swing back there, which might be a pretty good time, if only you weren’t doing this because you were stuck on the side of the road with a flat.
Here’s a video of the strap being actually used, or at least partially used, because the guy in this video admits that most Range Rover owners aren’t likely to actually, you know, do this:
If you don’t have this strappy contraption, you can buy one; Land Rover will sell it to you, part number LR124638, for $166.30, or you can find one on eBay for a bit cheaper:
Looking at forums, it seems to be pretty hit-or-miss whether or not these SUVs came with the strap-traption. There is at least one Range Rover Technical Service Bulletin that addresses cars that didn’t have the strap, so if you have one of these, maybe check that you actually have one.
The reason this thing exists at all is because that tire and wheel combination weighs about 100 pounds, and must be extracted from the spare tire well in the luggage compartment floor exactly vertically, because there isn’t any room to tilt it to get it out, as the air suspension compressor is mounted below the wheel well. Your only option to get it out is to lift straight up, and that’s effectively a physical impossibility to do, given the location, size, and weight of the tire.
This all just seems like such a terrible location for the spare tire, which leads to a miserable procedure for getting it out. First off, if you’re on a road trip and get a flat, you have to empty everything out of your cargo area to get to the wheel in the first place. This is not exactly an issue unique to Range Rover – plenty of cars have spare tires under the cargo floor – but in this case, it just seems all the more of a groin-punch because there was a time when Range Rover mounted their spare tires in a much better place: under the car.
This is how the prior generation Range Rover Sport stored its spare tire, and how it was accessed:
Look how much easier that is! You’d still have to move some luggage out of the way to get to that bolt that lowers the tire, but this sort of setup seems dramatically easier. That video above seems to show a smaller spare; this one looks more like a full-sized spare:
The old way was so vastly better, I can’t fathom why they changed it! I’m not sure I’ve ever encountered any car that requires setting up a makeshift pulley/hoist system just to get the damn spare wheel out. It just seems so cruel and punishing a thing to do to your customers. Imagine being on a long trip in your Range Rover Sport and getting a flat and looking in the back and struggling with that huge-ass wheel for 15 sweaty, profanity-filled minutes before realizing you need to rig up a whole freaking crane to get the damn thing out, using some strappy bullshit you’re not even sure you have? That’d be devastating.
Sure, some people have rigged up their own systems using ratchet straps and that sort of thing, but just the fact they had to do that at all represents a design and engineering failure on Range Rover’s part. Even if we assume that the well-heeled buyers of these cars aren’t the kind to debase themselves by changing their own tires, someone still has to do it! And, hell, what if you’re somewhere remote, where there is no help – you should be able to at least make a decent attempt at changing a tire!
This kind of unforgiving and heartless design just drives me nuts. It takes an unfortunate situation and just makes it so much worse, and for zero benefit that I can see. What’s the matter with an externally mounted spare wheel? This is an SUV, externally mounted spare wheels look great! There’s aftermarket options for these:
Range Rover could have come up with their own appropriately swanky version of this, with a fancy wheel cover or something, and maybe without blocking the taillight like this one does. They have good designers and engineers, they could figure it out! But no, instead they made something that is less convenient, eats more luggage room, is a daunting ass-pain to actually use, and is just worse overall, in every way.
Ugh. What a cruel spare tire design. It looks like the more recent ones still use this system, so I guess no one at Land Rover really seems to care.
But I care.
Just be grateful that they didn’t replace it with one of those shitty puncture repair kits.
The previous generation (with the spare stored underneath) also had a huge design flaw. The spare could not be removed if the tow hitch receiver was installed. The receiver is an accessory that locks in place so if you happen to have left the key at home or dropped it down the side of the seat and forgotten about it you are out of luck
Official Range Rover Roadside Kit: The Black Dangly Spare Mover (or “BDSM”) will get you off the shoulder with a minimum of unwanted pain.
Just don’t lose your nuts.
I would imagine this happened because some engineer who’s never actually changed a tire designed the floor pan in CAD and this flaw wasn’t noticed until a test driver had a flat. By then it was cheaper to design the sex swing than to remake the die.
But what self respecting Range Rover driver would touch a yucky tire? They have people for that.
“Bring out the spare tire.”
“The spare tire is lodged in the boot.”
“Well, grab more straps, numbnuts.”
Seems like a pretty reasonable solution to a tricky packaging problem. Given how often a spare is actually used (on average) this is actually a great way to still INCLUDE a full-sized spare.
I’d rather have a mini-spare and not need the contraption.
My Subaru GL actually has a flat tire right now and I’ll be gleefully plucking my spare from on top of the engine to get things rolling again.
This is the way.
I always smiled when I raised the hood & saw my spare. I miss my GL wagons: cheap basic transportation at its finest.
-until the mount for the moustache bar rotted out, anyway
I will share that sentiment as soon as I figure out why the alternator seems to be running all the electronics just fine but not charging the battery.
They changed the location because the British are a load of light fingered scrotes and Land Rover spare wheel theft is very much a concern.
Which is why I spent months working on a lock for the Defender tailgate mounted spare which never made it to production.
That light fingered scrote, that’s after you’re suspended from the roof, right? Gotta have a little warmup before pawing at the bits and pieces, in my opinion.
This is the exact kind of knowledge I seek that keeps me coming back to this place.
I knew you’d have the real answer, thanks Adrian!
Ah, those Brit thieves sound pretty high brow…taking a fancy LR spare wheel and tire.
Yank thieves here use more barbaric methods employing a sawzall to cut off catalytic converters and selling for scrap palladium and rhodium.
I have a Defender 110 loaner right now. I would love to hear about any easter eggs or “quirks and features” you can share in regard to what you worked on for this car.
If you remove the Gerry Square from the C pillar you’ll see the body in white underneath. The outer most tail lights are for legal reasons (viewing angles) because of the tailgate mounted spare. One of the concerns raised by JD Power when they evaluated the car was the checker plate trim on the hood might encourage owners to stand on it.
I think I’m more surprised by how that combo weighs 100 lbs.
20″ wheel plus tire on my X5 (315 35-20) easily clears 80lbs. I can imagine a Land Rover with a 22″ wheel and similar dimension tire could easily be 100lbs+
I will not complain about changing my normal sized all-terrains or mud tires anymore.
It is an unfortunate cross to bear, suspension rebound suffers from the unsprung weight BUT 200tw 315s squared always makes for a fun cloverleaf on ramp
I think it is a little bit of German ingenuity built into this Tata-owned manufacturer.
At least it HAS A SPARE TIRE!
My wife and I own two Outlanders, a ’22 and a ’24 model. I had to acquire both spare tires from a local pick-a-part because Mitsubishi forgot to “add ours” to our vehicles…
A 20-teens Murano spare fits the bill perfectly as it has the correct bolt pattern and overall size. When we go on trips, I just throw one of the spares in the back to go along with us. I got the unused jack and wrench bag from two different Murano’s at the same time as well.
Pain in the ass, yes. Have we had a flat yet? No, but I know that as soon as we go on a long trip such as our yearly vacation we will need it if we don’t have it. It fits in the well below the 3rd row as well so not a big deal but I still believe that ALL vehicles should have a spare. Heck, our little ’24 Mirage has one and although it is the size of a golf cart wheel, IT HAS ONE MITSUBISHI and we have had to use it when our daughter hit a nail and destroyed the tire recently.
Since this article mentions a pack of weasels, it seems an appropriate place to mention the origin of the Fast and Furious franchise.
Confirmed.
The name originated with a Roadrunner and Coyote film titled The Fast and the Furry-ous.
Of course it is more realistic than the car versions.
Just gonna leave this early Roger Corman gem here.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fast_and_the_Furious_(1954_film)
I can’t say I’m surprized.
Corman made a film about everything.
Since it’s a car film, fairly high odds I’ve seen it too.
I don’t remember the title obviously, but that’s not a shock, after all the films I’ve seen.
I’m confident it’s a better car film than the newer ones.
Fast and Furryous, 1949
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fast_and_Furry-ous
The Second-Gen Range Rover Sport’s Spare Tire Removal Setup Requires Bondage Gear And Is
So Stupid I Want To ScreamGoing to Replace My Wife’s Tiguan.Reminded of the strap system in my E53 X5. I thought that was sort of ingenious (it used the tailgate to lever the spare out). Also, love me an SUV with a tailgate!
No owner of a Range Rover Sport would ever change a wheel anyway: They might get dirt on their iPhone or Gucci bag.
Honey, do you want to go camping? And how much do you weigh?
At least it has a full size spare. Of the three tire puncture/leak/blowouts I’ve had, only one would hopefully be solved by the bottle of goo that most cars seem to come with today. I’ve ended up buying a full size spare and taking the cargo space hit in my EV6 because I don’t want to get stranded in the middle of nowhere on 395 (not quite in Death Valley, but Death Valley adjacent) on the way back from Mammoth.
I will happily deal with the bondage swing or any other significant indignity to avoid being stuck with no cellphone coverage and/or a many hour wait for a flatbed towtruck.
I’ve had two, and in both cases the tire was far too damaged for any tire repair kit to do anything useful. I paid extra to have a spare (albeit a small one) in my current car.
Anyone else particularly concerned about the huge side wall wear evident on the ‘old Range Rover’ video as he winds it down…???
Clearly it rubs the tyre away while driving as it’s stored there.
Let’s not forget where Land Rover used to store the spare – blocking the view of the road on the center of the hood. Seems they have some kind of fetish for less than optimal spare stowage.
At the very least I expected the strap to be available in patent leather as an optional upgrade.
This is a side effect of the stupidly large wheels/tires vehicles have these days.
My thought exactly. Is it reasonable to expect every driver to be able bodied and/or willing to change their own tire? No. Should this be reason to make wheels and tires weigh more than an average person could manage? Absolutely.
Wheels should be large enough to clear the brakes, 1 inch larger maximum. Anything else is vain and futile.
It took me 30 solid minutes just to figure out how to put the spare back in some lady’s range Rover. There are styrofoam inserts that have to go in just so, but can easily be reversed or placed incorrectly because they’re chiefly symmetrical. Mostly. Sort of. Enough to let you configure it at least 4 different incorrect ways that you won’t really know until you’ve hoisted the tire in and tried to lay the floor flat.
Land Rover and VAG vehicles are some of the most hostile vehicles to service. They are petty, hateful, spiteful, bad. Everything is a brutal logic puzzle, an idiotic guessing game where you’re trying to surmise what someone was thinking (not just in an exasperated “what were they thinking??” way, but also literally, “what was their thought process, how do I guess it well enough to replicate it”). They don’t have to make it so bad; I can think of several cases where it’d have been cheaper and easier, and not any less “premium” to do things in a more serviceable manner. But the complexity is a feature anymore, I think, to drive everyone to dealerships.
I have a MK 7.5 GTI. Had a flat at the airport and had to change to the donut spare. If you don’t have that silly, cuddly, easily lost wire to remove the plastic lug bolt covers, you are in a world of hurt. VW should also include at least one “wheel hanger” bolt to take 90% of the pain out of getting the wheel on and lined up with the bolt-holes.
I hate those lug covers (at work, I use a fine pick to get behind them and yank them out), and on Monday I just bought stud pilot pins for that exact reason.
I bought a kit with the wire puller and the stud pilot pin. I’ve decided, based on weight, that the alloy wheels are alloyed with lead. I believe they are heavier than the 19” wheels on the BMW.
Yep, I’m familiar with that tool. Frankly, I’m not sure why VW puts those covers on at all.
My Golf R doesn’t even have a spare, and a normal donut–which I’ve yet to purchase–won’t fit around the giant front brakes. So if you have a flat at the front, you end up having to swap a rear wheel to the front, and put the donut on said rear wheel. Quite a hassle.
It’s not so bad. It’s definitely the sort of thing that would be good to learn about in advance of needing it, though.
I rather like it compared to the “spare tire gets welded to the underbody of the vehicle by corrosion” method of carrying under the vehicle. That happened to me more than once.
Somewhere out there, there’s a Chrysler Town and Country with it’s spare still welded to the underside of the body because I couldn’t get the damned thing off after over an hour of trying, prying with a proper tire iron and beating with a 2lb sledge.
Luckily I never needed my spare when I owned my Town & Country. And the previous owner was thoughtful enough to show us/warn us where it was located while we were looking the van over.
I was going to point this out, putting the spare is for most people is calling AAA if you have stow-n-go. I’ll also point out that the Range Rover seems to be better than the under the bed storage on most pickup trucks.
When metal locks, it’s amazing what won’t work.
I had a greased aluminum wheel lock onto the steel brake rotor so effectively I was using enough force to risk the wheel.
Since I was blocking the driveway, I had to walk blocks begging for penetrating oil until I found some.
Wheel came off fairly easily once I had some.
The optional riding crop is an extra 69 British pounds ????
Fwiw I think rear mounted spares are just asking for trouble. Easy to steal, block the view, and in an even minor fender bender tend to crush rear tailgates and hatches plus break rear windows.
I don’t know about you, but I like my rear end clean and unobstructed!
????
Apparently 50 shades of gray came out in 2011. So probably a selling point with their original demo. And they would call their “man” to do it fitting with their book club book.
I feel like a sentence including Range Rover and bondage gear should be written by Adrian Clarke.
Back on topic, what was wrong with the underfloor spare tire, even Fiat 500s use that system with a miniature version of a pickup truck’s spare tire winch, assuming someone paid extra for the spare kit