The Wienermobile Is Going Racing At Indy

For the last few years, Memorial Day weekend has become one of the highlights of the racing calendar. Specifically, the Indy 500, Monaco Grand Prix, and Coca-Cola 600 all take place within a few hours of one another. Dare I add a couple of other races to your list?

As promised yesterday, an iconic maker of low-volume cars has just announced it’s going racing for the first time ever. That’s right, the beloved Wienermobile will hit the bricks this Friday as the opening race of Memorial Day weekend. Not only is it the inaugural race for the long trucks, it’ll be the first time all six Wienermobiles will be in the same place at the same time for over a decade.

They’re calling it the “Wienie 500” and it’ll involve all six trucks, each dressed up in a different region’s hot dog style. There’s the Chi Dog, the New York Dog, the Slaw Dog, the Sonoran Dog, the Chili Dog, and… the Seattle Dog. No one told me there’s a specific kind of hot dog for the Pacific Northwest, so I had to look that one up:

Seattle dogs are essentially a delicious mash-up of hot dog and bagel. The origins are often disputed, but may have something to do with a bagel cart that started selling hot dogs, too. The dogs are split open and seared and then served with cream cheese and sautéed onions or scallions.

Polish sausage is often used instead of regular old dogs. Other toppings like jalapeños, sauerkraut, and cabbage can be included and condiments like mustard, Sriracha, and barbecue sauce give the dish a little tang and zip. Ketchup is typically a no-no, but we won’t tell if you decide to add a drizzle.

I’m all for pluralism and regional specificity, but what kind of crap-ass dog is this? I also love that, according to this write-up, Ketchup is a “no-no” but it’s totally fine to add cabbage, barbecue sauce, and Sriracha. If Seattle wins, we riot.

“The Indy 500 marks the unofficial kickoff of summer and the start of hot dog season,” said Kelsey Rice, Brand Communications Director at Oscar Mayer. “As a brand known for sparking smiles in disarmingly delightful ways, it’s only fitting that we bring a race of epic proportions to the Speedway and celebrate a timeless tradition: delicious meats and a little friendly competition to kick off a summer of wieners.”

I know I’m looking forward to a summer of wieners.

On a more serious note, the brand doesn’t exactly say how the race is going to work. The organization has been untrustworthy before, so I’m not going to believe the hot dogs will actually drive 500 miles. Especially because the race starts on Friday, May 23 at 2pm ET on the Fox Sports app and various social accounts. The trucks simply couldn’t go 500 miles in that time without probably running out of light. If the trucks go more than 50 laps I’ll be happy.

There’s also a gambling aspect to this, but that bores me. My money is on whoever rolled the little Wienermobile. That ‘hotdogger’ has the right spirit.

If fast hot dogs aren’t your thing, the Trans Am Memorial Day Classic is also bringing awesome racing to the world this weekend. You can watch the event on Speed Sport 1, if you need something to enjoy in between all the Indy, F1, and NASCAR. It’s one of those cool series that isn’t going to get enough mainstream attention because it doesn’t have a bunch of hot dogs, but is probably more worthy of your time. Of course, I’m going to watch all of it.

[Editor’s Note: Since this is likely the most important post you’ll read today, I thought it deserved something more, so I made this handy chart outlining the various Wienermobiles and their expected advantages and disadvantages, based on the characteristics of the hot dogs they’re named for, which I think is entirely rational. I hope this helps! – JT]