For the last few years, Memorial Day weekend has become one of the highlights of the racing calendar. Specifically, the Indy 500, Monaco Grand Prix, and Coca-Cola 600 all take place within a few hours of one another. Dare I add a couple of other races to your list?
As promised yesterday, an iconic maker of low-volume cars has just announced it’s going racing for the first time ever. That’s right, the beloved Wienermobile will hit the bricks this Friday as the opening race of Memorial Day weekend. Not only is it the inaugural race for the long trucks, it’ll be the first time all six Wienermobiles will be in the same place at the same time for over a decade.
They’re calling it the “Wienie 500” and it’ll involve all six trucks, each dressed up in a different region’s hot dog style. There’s the Chi Dog, the New York Dog, the Slaw Dog, the Sonoran Dog, the Chili Dog, and… the Seattle Dog. No one told me there’s a specific kind of hot dog for the Pacific Northwest, so I had to look that one up:
Seattle dogs are essentially a delicious mash-up of hot dog and bagel. The origins are often disputed, but may have something to do with a bagel cart that started selling hot dogs, too. The dogs are split open and seared and then served with cream cheese and sautéed onions or scallions.
Polish sausage is often used instead of regular old dogs. Other toppings like jalapeños, sauerkraut, and cabbage can be included and condiments like mustard, Sriracha, and barbecue sauce give the dish a little tang and zip. Ketchup is typically a no-no, but we won’t tell if you decide to add a drizzle.
I’m all for pluralism and regional specificity, but what kind of crap-ass dog is this? I also love that, according to this write-up, Ketchup is a “no-no” but it’s totally fine to add cabbage, barbecue sauce, and Sriracha. If Seattle wins, we riot.
“The Indy 500 marks the unofficial kickoff of summer and the start of hot dog season,” said Kelsey Rice, Brand Communications Director at Oscar Mayer. “As a brand known for sparking smiles in disarmingly delightful ways, it’s only fitting that we bring a race of epic proportions to the Speedway and celebrate a timeless tradition: delicious meats and a little friendly competition to kick off a summer of wieners.”
I know I’m looking forward to a summer of wieners.
On a more serious note, the brand doesn’t exactly say how the race is going to work. The organization has been untrustworthy before, so I’m not going to believe the hot dogs will actually drive 500 miles. Especially because the race starts on Friday, May 23 at 2pm ET on the Fox Sports app and various social accounts. The trucks simply couldn’t go 500 miles in that time without probably running out of light. If the trucks go more than 50 laps I’ll be happy.
There’s also a gambling aspect to this, but that bores me. My money is on whoever rolled the little Wienermobile. That ‘hotdogger’ has the right spirit.
If fast hot dogs aren’t your thing, the Trans Am Memorial Day Classic is also bringing awesome racing to the world this weekend. You can watch the event on Speed Sport 1, if you need something to enjoy in between all the Indy, F1, and NASCAR. It’s one of those cool series that isn’t going to get enough mainstream attention because it doesn’t have a bunch of hot dogs, but is probably more worthy of your time. Of course, I’m going to watch all of it.
[Editor’s Note: Since this is likely the most important post you’ll read today, I thought it deserved something more, so I made this handy chart outlining the various Wienermobiles and their expected advantages and disadvantages, based on the characteristics of the hot dogs they’re named for, which I think is entirely rational. I hope this helps! – JT]
Someone didn’t like the idea of Carb Day and just had to add some protein to the menu.
Thanks for including the Sonoran dog. If you ever go to Tucson, you gotta eat at BK’s or El Guero Canelo
I didn’t know what a Sonoran dog was until today. Damn that sounds delicious!
I’d throw in El Sinaloense myself
No bump and rub drafting with another weiner…
No touching tips?
Ketchup is the CVT of the sausage world. Basically acid and sugar, it kills the taste and uniqueness of the composition, and adds a distinctive and homogeneous taste. And just as there are some cars that are probably better with a CVT, and some drivers physically or mentally can’t drive a stick, so ketchup conceals overripe meat and makes others accessible to diners who otherwise would not be able to consume such a thing.
I do wanna see those wienermobiles swapping casings over the bricks.
Don’t you dare let the JatcoCVT guy see this, because he’ll be forever extolling the virtues of ketchup on hotdogs…
Despite their various placements, there will be only wieners and no losers here!
Good for the KraftHeinz PR team. We need more whimsy in our lives.
Next year, I expect to see an IROC-style race series featuring identically-prepared UPS vans.
Somewhere, from an old job, I have a little model UPS truck with flames on the side (and maybe a NASCAR decal?). We got them from UPS since we were the company that did the tech to move them from all paper tracking to bar codes and online tracking. Used to be that if you wanted a copy for proof of someone signing for a UPS package, they would have people who would shuffle through the giant numbers of paper logs, trace the signature on the paper and mail you that tracing.
Hoo boy, six Wienermobiles in one place! I never sausage a thing. I predict the winner wiener will be the one taking an early lead because the rest will never ketchup.
“Caution . . . there’s sauerkraut strewn all through the third turn where New York and Sonoran touched buns . . . NY got the worse of it, it looks like the casing has been breached. Mustard flag out.”
I want this race to devolve into a classic Top Gear Crucible of Motorsport segment. Each Weinermobile is driven by a touring car driver. Despite strict instructions for no body contact, the last weiner running will be the winner.
Post-race interview:
“How much did you win by?”
“Not much, just the tip.”
I saw it, he won by a country mohel!
I’m originally from Seattle, but moved out in 2002. When I saw a Seattle dog on the menu here, I had a total Mandela effect moment, thinking I jumped timelines, because I had never heard of it. Apparently it started getting popular towards the end of when I was there, then was cemented at sportsball stadia right when I left. I enjoy them!
I’m guessing they’re doing it at IMS and not Daytona because 7-11 wouldn’t sponsor, so no need for rolling hotdogs, right?
The vehicles will line up in a designated location and then they will all start off at the same time. They will drive in a big oval while turning left, left, always left.
Presented with no additional commentary: “Rubbin’ is racin'”.
The live commentary is gonna be PRICELESS.
It wouldn’t surprise me if this was raced entirely on the front straight, making it basically a drag race. Putting an amateur wiener racer on a banked track in a top-heavy hot dog shaped truck sounds like a recipe for disaster.
“Vieners vieners vieners, some are thick and some are thin, vieners vieners vieners, our juice is on your chin. “If we sing that, the cops will come.”
I don’t remember the name of that show or anything else about it other than a hot dog stand in a mall, but it felt appropriate.
We need a full mascot cars racing series! Weinermobiles! The Red Bull cars! Get that old Zippo lighter 1947 Chrysler Saratogo out of mothballs! Any others? Bring ’em on!!
Could be the next big thing, right?
Every national Pizza joint has to field their best delivery driver. In whatever vehicle they normally perform said deliveries in.
I can’t wait to see Kia Rondos with exhaust leaks racing against Civics with fart cans and Walmart wheels.
unfortunately, it’s going to be that rich old fart that just needed something to do that wins in his M5 or something.
LeMons rules. Car has to have a maximum value of $5k, and you’re penalized heavily for going above it.
The Deliverator belongs to an elite order, a hallowed sub-category.
OK then. We’ve seen The Autopian’s Indy 500 coverage for 2025. The main effect of Indy on me is to get me looking ahead to Le Mans.
The 24 Wieners of LeMans?
I know races tend to be a total sausage fest, but this is getting ridiculous.
It sounds like somebody at Indy went to a Brewers game.
Hey, there’s only 1 hot dog at the Brewers sausage races. Don’t go equating a hot dog to a bratwurst, polish sausage, italian sausage or a chorizo!
And they’re Johnsonville products (formerly Klement’s), even though Oscar Mayer is also from Wisconsin.
Well then, I threw everything I had at the wall and nothing stuck. Truly fantastic.
I’m rooting for whichever wiener has #NOCATSUP plastered on the side.
Chicago’s famous for that. Anyone putting ketchup on a hot dog is politely escorted across the Indiana state line.
Well, “politely”.
With all due respect to the wonderful city of Chicago.
I love your mass transit, I love the Shedd, I love your pizza: but your hot dogs are wrong. That sweet relish is a masochist’s flavor. Who enjoys the taste of toothpaste on lunch meat?!
I’m actually not a Chicagoan, I just know their anti-ketchup stance by reputation. I’m from the part of the country where we put something resembling chili on a hot dog and call it a “Michigan” (and that’s unknown in Michigan…)
Oh definitely, I wasn’t calling you out specifically. I love my current home city of Dayton but we are not immune to culinary faux’s pas. Behold the apotheosis of mediocrity we call “Dayton-style pizza” and despair.
Counterpoint: Marion’s is a delightful treat.
Chicagoan here. I’m with you, Chicago style dogs are disgusting.
Bob the Hobo called it!
https://www.theautopian.com/tomorrow-is-going-to-be-a-weirdly-huge-day-for-car-news/comment-page-1/#comment-659628
My baloney ideas have finally paid off.
Everything’s finally coming up
MilhouseBob!Prophetic.
Color me atavistic, but, if there’s no Offy’s screaming, I’m not interested.
Well, maybe if it was long enough—just to watch a crew service a giant wiener during a pit stop
These do all have LS motors, so they’re not slouches, though they do have a lot of girth they need to move to get up to speed.
There are plenty of places on the internet to go if you want to watch someone service a giant wiener.
So you were relish-ing the wrong answers by the peanut gallery. Really trying hard to make weiners of us. 🙂
Seattle Dogs are pretty good, though that particular description doesn’t do them justice. I don’t consider them better or worse than the other dogs mentioned, just different.
And that’s the best thing about the Seattle Dog. I’ve never heard anyone insist that it’s the only or even best dog. Hell, living in the area for the first ~30 years of my life, I hardly heard anyone talk about them until after I left.
That’s a good point. I’ve moved to and from the area several times over the last several decades, and it never seemed like anyone was really pushing them into the public consciousness- they only became noteworthy when I got east of the Rockies where people had never heard or tried them.
All the speculation of Singer, Keonigsegg, etc and it ends up being Wienermobiles is the payoff I needed.
I’ll be in Indy for the race Saturday and Sunday. I can’t tell you how much I wish I could go a day earlier now.