David sent me this Facebook Marketplace ad for a 1995 Chrysler Cirrus, because I think, on some level, it excited him. Looking at the ad, I found a strange vehicle and a lot of confusing statements. First off, the front end looks more like the sibling car of the Cirrus, the Dodge Stratus. And second off, it’s been converted to some sort of ute-like pickup truck. And third off, the description calls it a “It’s a 1995 Chrysler Cirrus prototype one of a kind, custom interior,” but prototype implies a factory build, and this feels very much like a one-off home-built thing. It’s nicely executed, sure, but prototype level? I dunno about that. Still, I totally understand why David was excited by this: it’s kind of baffling.
Yes, for $8,500 you can be the proud owner of this peculiar and unique beast, complete with sort of strange body panel curve choices and an oddly droopy rear quarter window. The modified design starts from the B-pillar back, and while the shutline of the rear door remains intact, that rear door itself has been highly modified into the “sail” panel that forms the transition between cab and bed.
Of course, I’m not really sure how much we can call this a “bed” as it has a cover with a wing on it that’s a lot like a huge trunk lid. This conversion brings up a complicated philosophical question: Is this now a ute/El Cirrusamino/Stratuschero or is it just a strangely-proportioned coupé with a massive trunk? It does have an actual tailgate, which helps the bed argument, certainly, and perhaps that’s enough to make up for what looks like a non-removable bed cover/trunk lid?
It’s an interesting mix of awkward design but clearly a lot of careful and skilled bodywork. There are no pictures of the “custom interior” so I can’t really speak to the custom-ness of that, but it is very definitely in the interior!
Also, these taillights are kind of driving me nuts:
Whatever they are feels like it’s right on the tip of my brain, but I can’t quite place them. At first I thought Chevy S-10 units, but all the S-10s had reverse lamps integrated, and weren’t quite this shape. They could be a portion of a larger cluster, one where these red parts were on the corner and the reverse lamp and more were on the trunk lid? It almost looks like the corner piece of the Ford Topaz taillight, but I think that lower section is part of that taillight lens unit. What is this from?
If you’re in Canada, and really want a unique sort-of truck that has that fantastic double-whammy of dubiousness, both in design and utility, then I think you’re in luck.
Oh, and also, what the hell is going on with this tow hitch for the motorcycle seated just behind the car?
Is that a tow ball doily? A cozy? Is that a thing? Is it maybe some Canadian affectation? It looks like tow ball covers are a thing, but they seem to be more like Mandalorian helmets or deer heads as opposed to whatever this is. It looks kinda like an HR Geiger alien egg, from like, you know, Alien. Kind of.
Anyway, for whatever reason, David was really hot on me showing all of you this [Ed Note: I just asked JT to write this up. I wasn’t that hot on it. But I’m glad we got you some long-weekend content! Even if it’s more confusing than informative. -DT], and the last thing I need is another disappointed, withering look from David, so there it is: The wonder and majesty of a strange, almost certainly not-actually-a-prototype one-off Chrysler cloud car-a-mino.
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C’mon, everyone knows this is a Stratumpage.
Tail lights look like those on a ‘90s Nissan Terrano/Ford Maverick, don’t know what they were called in the US?
https://thumbs.img-sprzedajemy.pl/1000x901c/4b/29/51/ford-maverick-nissan-terrano-27-td-4×4-z-534294646.jpg
Bottom corner is wrong. Was my first thought too.
They weren’t called anything here since they were never sold here.
Why does it look like that at the rear?? It’s like some kind of AI generated monstrosity!
Perhaps it’s actual DNA can be extracted with the use of the Holy Chain Saw?
That’s one strange looking turd here.
The whole thing just makes my brain hurt, no shit. Must be some crazy ass drugs in Ca. these days to built this sort of crap. Prototype my ass.
It could be more of a business coupe, but we’d have to see the interior and check if it has a back seat
Head in the clouds, ass in the dirt. Even rednecks can aspire to something…
I like the R32 Skyline N1 style vents in the front bumper
Yep, that’s in the ‘Shwa. Checks out lol. Those local or know what I am talking of!
It’s not a J-body or W-body though, which is a little baffling in the ‘Shwa.
That Cirrus Ute is not factory, because even Chrysler’s quality is not that bad. I have however seen a factory Golf Ute….But it was only because someone in the factory hacked it up to haul junk around the Wolfsburg facility. It was still way better than this.
That reminds me of that M3 Ute BMW built as an April fools joke a few years back. Again, still better than this.
If this is a coupe, then trucks with hard tonneaus are just weird-looking sedans. That’s a view I can endorse.
Short bed crew cab pickups are the new American family sedan of the 2020s, so that checks out
I’ve actually seen some weird truck chassis sedan thing from south america somewhere, maybe even on here
Ghastly. CP.
I love the “custom interior” mention but yet no pictures of said interior. The front bumper isn’t a Cirrus either (at least the US-spec), it’s a Dodge Stratus bumper.
That’s a pretty common make here in Kentucky. It’s a Whatthefuck!? Why!? and no two are alike.
This thing is totally normal compared to some of the other items from this seller… I’m not seller-shaming! Just an eclectic selection of goodies, that’s all. Dibs on the MC Hammer figurine.
There seems to be more weirdness on that motorcycle if you look at the top of the “trunk” like spider legs or something?
I’m fairly sure the tailgate is from an S10, and the tail lights are as well, just flipped upside down. Yes its missing the reverse lamp part but I think you could buy crappy aftermarket ones like that.
Holy Hoffmann, Batman, those rear side windows…
https://www.lanemotormuseum.org/collection/cars/item/hoffmann-1951/
The tail lights look like off an S10 but without the little reverse light part. Could be they just transplanted most of a cut up S10 like I’ve seen HHRs done. No lowballers though, they know what they have!
Taillights look like eyes, with all the half-liddedness coming from the bottom lid;
in short, crazy eyes
Also when clicking on that link, I came across another FB link where some idiot wants $100K for this heap of shit:
https://www.facebook.com/marketplace/item/994767458191757/?ref=product_details&referral_code=marketplace_top_picks&referral_story_type=top_picks
… located in Hamilton, Ontario… not far from me.
That car is like 10% headlight.
and 100% janky.
Two decimal points off. Then I would move one more decimal point to the left because of what appears to be a CB antenna mount on the tail. That the builder or subsequent owner installed a CB radio in the thing is enough to tell buyers to stay away.
I thought it was a tow hitch ball.. I’m happy I was wrong.
Even if this was Bruno von Stickle’s actual car from the Herbie movie, it would still not be worth $100,000.
WTF? it’s a poorly assembled Laser 917 kit, $5000 if it runs and drives
This really only makes sense to me as a gag car made for Letterkenny
I’m thinking more American Auto.
Got a laugh out of me, it could be either one!
If this was a Chrysler-made prototype, I would think the bed and other stuff would have come from a Dodge Dakota.
Nah… this is just some guys home-brew project that the seller is asking WAAAAAY too much money for.
I don’t think that heap is even worth $1500.
We offer $3.50 for this god damned Loch Ness Monster.
Almost looks like an MN12 T-Bird tail light but they all had black or reflectorized bottoms which aren’t present here. Dammit, now I’m annoyed too.
Winters are long and dark in Canada…. very long. Long enough that ….things happen.
Cirrupage. It’s a Chrysler product, so its utification suffix is “-page” in the same way that a Lumina ute would be a Luminamino (Lumino?) and a Taurus ute is, of course, a Tauruschero (or some nicer shortened version – Taurchero?). This was hashed out ages ago on the old lighting site.
It’s on FB Marketplace so you should totally try to reach out to the seller for more info. I suggest leading with the question: “Is this available?”
Lol.