Home » This Is The One Place You Can Read Our Deepest, Darkest Thoughts About The Tesla Hot Dog

This Is The One Place You Can Read Our Deepest, Darkest Thoughts About The Tesla Hot Dog

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Pilotgrrl
Member
Pilotgrrl
1 month ago

Two observations:

1. This is the worst of the wurst, and
2. Unfortunately, it brings Elmo’s failed implant to mind.

Both are ghastly.

MikeInCO
Member
MikeInCO
1 month ago

I don’t comment a lot, but I’m one of the people that waited anxiously for the Autopian to get off the ground when the guys left the other site. Supporter since day one, visit just about every day. I feel pretty sure that this is the best (at least most entertaining) thing I have read yet. I’m waiting for one of the kids to ask why I keep laughing 😀

Hugh Crawford
Member
Hugh Crawford
1 month ago

“The volume of sausage talk is unbelievable”

Dial 1-900-sausage
all male operators are standing by all night.

Kookster
Member
Kookster
1 month ago

First TFS as a contributing member… DID NOT DISAPPOINT LMFAO

Adrian Clarke
Editor
Adrian Clarke
1 month ago
Reply to  Kookster

It’s all downhill from here.

Kookster
Member
Kookster
1 month ago
Reply to  Adrian Clarke

Story of my life

Knightcowboy
Member
Knightcowboy
1 month ago

Elon used the worst photos for the diner as a misdirection. He must’ve known that once Torch saw it, the subject would take off. He’s gonna release the $25,000 car he said he canceled. No shifter, no steering wheel, and he’s gonna swap out the back seat for a futon, because Elon thinks the backseat is for making kids, not transporting them

Hautewheels
Member
Hautewheels
1 month ago

My wife is a professional food photographer with more than 15 years experience in the industry and she said that the hot dog photo is actually very well executed, from an artistic standpoint, considering the lighting, blocking, reflection control, etc. Sure, it’s not particularly appetizing to any non-Elon human beings, which was probably the artistic choice here, but it is a professional photo.

Tbird
Member
Tbird
1 month ago
Reply to  Hautewheels

Food photos are often not real food. Crisco doubleing for ice cream, etc… Why is it not down in the damn bun????

Hautewheels
Member
Hautewheels
1 month ago
Reply to  Tbird

That’s outdated. No professional photographer has done that kind of thing since the 1950’s or 60’s.

Last edited 1 month ago by Hautewheels
Hugh Crawford
Member
Hugh Crawford
1 month ago
Reply to  Hautewheels

Food advertising has to use at least nominally edible food. You can’t even put marbles in the soup any more.

If the food is incidental to the photo, Then sure, pour white glue into molasses or whatever.

I think there’s an exception for ice cubes, good ice cubes are well into the three digits.

https://setshop.com/trengove-ice-cubes/

Beto O'Kitty
Member
Beto O'Kitty
1 month ago

Please Google ingredients of a hot dog.

Mr E
Member
Mr E
1 month ago

Waxing philosophical on the merits of a mystery meat tube. Hot dog, that’s good content!

Clam Bert
Clam Bert
1 month ago

i thought tales from the slack was for members only… 🙂

Adrian Clarke
Editor
Adrian Clarke
1 month ago
Reply to  Clam Bert

It should be. Out with you filthy non-paying peseant.

Clam Bert
Clam Bert
1 month ago
Reply to  Adrian Clarke

here i am, reading your secrets!!! for freeeee!

Hautewheels
Member
Hautewheels
1 month ago
Reply to  Clam Bert

It must be the clam connection. Jason’s a sucker for everything clam-related.

Nic Periton
Member
Nic Periton
1 month ago

It must be a vital bit of humanity, everyone here is because cars (other modes of transport are covered, also moving things that one can live in), very little politics, for reasons, a safe space where opinions and daftness conspire to make a whole. And then, meat and buns!
Somewhere inside me is a very clever and provocative award wining thesis about this fleeting phenomena but it is after midnight, and, I am eating a sausage sarnie,

A. Barth
A. Barth
1 month ago

I’m sitting here thinking unironically that this is a perfectly normal conversation to be having.

And I love that Costco put a fat line of onions on one side of their dog and an equally fat line of relish on the other side. Full send, no screwing around. No notes.

Andrea Petersen
Andrea Petersen
1 month ago
Reply to  A. Barth

Costco knows exactly the correct quantity of onions for a hot dog, that’s all. Though I prefer mine with a thin line of ketchup on the other side rather than loads of relish

A. Barth
A. Barth
1 month ago

That’s fair – we all have our own preferences.

In recent years I’ve become a big fan of the Chicago dog, where onions and relish are prominent, so the Costco dog works for me.

Also if you add enough veggies it becomes a salad, i.e. health food. 🙂

Danster
Member
Danster
1 month ago
Reply to  A. Barth

Known as “run it through the garden” down there.

Amberturnsignalsarebetter
Member
Amberturnsignalsarebetter
1 month ago
Reply to  A. Barth

This feels like the appropriate time to mention this again:

https://cuberule.com/

Pilotgrrl
Member
Pilotgrrl
1 month ago
Reply to  A. Barth

It’s not a Chicago dog without the sport peppers. But I pass on the day glo green relish.

A. Barth
A. Barth
1 month ago
Reply to  Pilotgrrl

But without the relish, the pickle spear won’t have the appropriate color depth to contrast with the red tomatoes and I’m just making up stuff now.

The relish is a strange color but it tastes good. 🙂

RustyJunkyardClassicFanatic
Member
RustyJunkyardClassicFanatic
1 month ago
Reply to  A. Barth

“It’s a perfectly sane food to eat!”
-Kramer

Parsko
Member
Parsko
1 month ago

Life is about contrast. When you have eaten out of a dumpster, you develop the ability to appreciate things in ways that others cannot.

Elon has never experienced this contrast. His contrast is all green, all things.

In this circumstance, the contrast is that most of the world has experienced the amazing hot dogs at Costco. Which, a story most know, the owner has suggested that if they raise the price, he will shut the company down, or some story along those lines.

Speaking of lines, Elon must be sniffing them to think this abomination of a hot dog is good. Dude really needs to go to Costco to get the proper experience. The, go back to the drawing board mirror covered in white stuff and tell his “chefs” to make something that doesn’t look like I just shit it out onto a bun after a night of heavy drinking.

Sorry, I’m in a mood.

Last edited 1 month ago by Parsko
Carey Rose
Member
Carey Rose
1 month ago
Reply to  Parsko

Just because this might be one of my favorite business “news” snippets ever, here’s the quote from co-founder Jim Sinegal to incoming CEO Craig Jelinek:

‘If you raise the effing hot dog, I will kill you. Figure it out.’

https://www.425business.com/news/costco-ceo-craig-jelinek-on-shareholders-costco-com-and-hot-dogs/article_5ff4b632-1f75-5e98-b9ff-6e02d676668b.html

MAX FRESH OFF
Member
MAX FRESH OFF
1 month ago
Reply to  Parsko

Julia Child apparently loved the Costco hot dogs from the Napa store.

Jonah B.
Member
Jonah B.
1 month ago
Reply to  MAX FRESH OFF

She also loved a little Mexican restaurant (Taco stand?) in Santa Barbara where the queue to order is down the sidewalk and the seating area is covered in a tarp.

(Granted their food is good, but the portions are a bit small for the price.)

MAX FRESH OFF
Member
MAX FRESH OFF
1 month ago
Reply to  Jonah B.

La Super-Rica!

Chris D
Chris D
1 month ago
Reply to  Parsko

That’s kind of how they build the Cybertrucks, isn’t it? Some people would certainly think so.

Fuzzyweis
Member
Fuzzyweis
1 month ago

At first I thought the Tesla diner was like a Disney restaurant without the Disney, but with worse food, I’ve changed my mind, as I’ve eaten at Disney restaurants and they weren’t that bad, and the prices I don’t feel like were this bad either.

I think this is more like when you go and buy food at the movies, $23 for 2 sodas and a bucket of popcorn? I’m no mathmagician but I guess that sounds right, glad I smuggled in my bag of Reece’s Pieces. Actually more like the theaters where you can order while watching the movie, and get a very rare cooked hamburger for $25 because it’s dark and you can’t tell the difference anyways.

Google movie theater hot dog, granted they fit the bun better, but it’s literally like an Oscar Meyer you can buy in a 10 pack for $3, in a bun you can buy in an 8 pack(why do they never make the pack counts match!??) for $2, sold for nearly $7 at the concession stand, probably close to the $13 if served while you watch.

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
1 month ago
Reply to  Fuzzyweis

You just buy a minimum of 4 packs of dogs and 5 packs of buns, I don’t see a problem.

OttosPhotos
Member
OttosPhotos
1 month ago

I want to see Adrian’s design critique of and proposal for a new Cyberhotdog.

Data
Data
1 month ago
Reply to  OttosPhotos

A Cybertruck where the front, hood, roof, tonneau cover, and tailgate are red while the side panels are light brown? Like a cut rate Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.

Username, the Movie
Member
Username, the Movie
1 month ago
Reply to  OttosPhotos

Perhaps get The Bishop to redo the Tesla Diner food into something appetizing?

Bob Boxbody
Member
Bob Boxbody
1 month ago

I wish Tesla had a PR department, so we could ask them the story behind choosing the photo (a disgruntled marketing employee combined with disconnected management?)

Or story behind the staging of the photo, for that matter. I’ve worked in a couple of photo studios, and nothing is by accident. How many shots did they take of this abomination, and can we see the ones that didn’t make the cut?

Cayde-6
Cayde-6
1 month ago

Truly, a sausage-inna-bun not even Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler could sell

Nlpnt
Member
Nlpnt
1 month ago
Reply to  Cayde-6

Dibbler’s only in the street-food business because Discworld never developed an auto industry before Sir Terry was led off on Binky…

Balloondoggle
Member
Balloondoggle
1 month ago
Reply to  Cayde-6

Bless you, I love a good CMOT reference. This makes the Autopian membership worthwhile.

VanGuy
Member
VanGuy
1 month ago

This is fantastic. No notes.

David Tracy
Admin
David Tracy
1 month ago

For the record, I like the idea of the Tesla diner, and I’m quite excited to check it out, as it looks cool. I’m not expecting mind-blowing food, though.

1978fiatspyderfan
Member
1978fiatspyderfan
1 month ago
Reply to  David Tracy

I was thinking no way you pay that for a hot dog when it is more expensive than most of the cars you bought

OrigamiSensei
Member
OrigamiSensei
1 month ago

And who is, according to Torch, a person who buys Arby’s sandwiches on an installment plan…

Data
Data
1 month ago
Reply to  OrigamiSensei

Hey, David’s a family man. He has to have priorities, like funding a 529 account for college. I can’t wait for the article when David discovers the cost of child care.

Cerberus
Member
Cerberus
1 month ago
Reply to  OrigamiSensei

I hope he goes for the layaway payment plan with the shortest timeframe.

Adrian Clarke
Editor
Adrian Clarke
1 month ago

When David said he was a hot dog guy, what he meant was ALL his meals are $1.50 Costco hot dogs and sodas. No point buying expensive groceries at that price!

Andrea Petersen
Andrea Petersen
1 month ago
Reply to  David Tracy

On the other hand, bowel-blowing is a possibility. Actually, I hope that’s not on your hand…

Urban Runabout
Member
Urban Runabout
1 month ago
Reply to  David Tracy

Do they even have adapters for the i3?

Oh hell – bring the J20 instead. Just leave the plug for the engine block heater dangling out the front….

Last edited 1 month ago by Urban Runabout
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