This Old Colt Is An Absolute Zombie But It’s Still Going

I remember back when the Petersen Automotive Museum was doing a big Mustang exhibit, I was talking to one of the curators about which cars were hardest to source, and, perhaps unsurprisingly, it wasn’t the Mustangs we think of as “rare” or valuable or any of the special editions – people preserved and kept those – but rather the mundane ones. The base-model ones, the cheap ones, the Mustang IIs, these were the cars that were hard to find. Mundane, everyday cars tend not to stick around, even when there were once many of them all over the place. I think that’s part of why I was so excited to see this early ’80s Dodge Colt.

Well, that, and the fact that this one looks like a zombie.

I saw this parked behind a grocery store, and it appears to be an operational vehicle with current registration; this isn’t some heap left out to die, this is someone’s actual, usable transportation, and I think that someone is kind of a hero.

This little car has clearly been through it, over and over, for decades. Most of the front end is gone, at least all of the plastic parts like the grille, and what we have left are a pair of rectangular sealed beams, an exposed radiator, and a bumper that’s so brown and twisted it resembles a strip of beef jerky with some rubber blocks and amber turn signal lenses stuck on it.

Judging from what remains of the sheet metal, I think this was a 1983 or 1984 Colt, which had little corner amber side marker lamps:

Those are, of course, long gone on our example here, but their absence and the resulting gaps in the sheet metal at least help us to nail down a likely age for this rugged old survivor: 41 or 42. And I’m going to go out on a limb and say this car has never been restored. Call it a hunch.

I always found these Colts were kind of handsome in a clean way, with large window areas and – hear me out – a slight AMC Pacer quality with their large glass area, thin pillars, and the general shape of the greenhouse and body. There’s something pleasingly simple and unadorned about these cars that just works, especially from the rear quarter view:

The license plate on the rear bumper instead of between the taillights I feel like was a strong choice, too, though it looks like the owner has relocated theirs to the suburbs of the bumper:

You can still barely see the “IMPORTED FOR DODGE” badge on the tailgate there, a reminder that these cars were “captive imports,” since the Colt was really a Mitsubishi Mirage. Shhh, don’t tell anyone!

Dodge went out of their way to make sure these felt “American,” giving us cowboy-themed commercials to make it clear that these cars were as American as ketchup-flavored sake:

The use of “cowperson” at the end of the commercial there conjures up some odd images of cow-human hybrids. You know the kind.

These were pretty affordable at the time, but not, like, absurdly cheap. Translating the 1981 dollars to 2025 dollars, we find that these sold for about $18,000:

How many times have I heard that guy’s voice? I feel like it was pretty much nonstop during the 1980s.

I’ve always appreciated this era of Colt/Mirage’s taillight design, too. The vertical side marker lamp works well with the ever-so-slight wraparound taillight, but what really gets me most is the red border, almost like piping on upholstery, around the whole taillight. It just gives them a nice finished look on such a simple, straightforward light.

Also, note the rubber accordion boots on the 5mph bumper shock-mounts. That’s a nice touch.

I’m impressed with this little Colt, mostly because of its dogged determination to survive. How many Colts of this era are still in active use today? It can’t be many at all. This one has clearly seen some shit, and it’s still pushing on. I wonder if the owner has come around and wears this car’s ramshackleness as a point of pride now? I hope so.

Don’t quit, little Colt. Don’t give the bastards the satisfaction.