This Windshield Washer Fluid Has The Best Name In The Business

It’s pretty tough to come up with names for ordinary household products, let alone automotive ones. Sometimes they end up being unintentional gems, decades after they have been launched in the first place. And now I’ll go straight to the point: this windshield washer fluid is called SUPERPISS. It’s not just any regular piss, it’s super. I’m not sure if they even sell anything that’s lesser strength.

To explain the name, I need to do a short history dive for you, as well as take you on a brief linguistic journey in Finland and Finnish.

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Way back in 1929, the co-op Asunto-osakeyhtiöiden Polttoaine-Osuuskunta (The Fuel Co-Operative for Housing Companies) was formed in Finland. It was luckily eventually shortened to ASPO, and it imported coke (as in the coal-based fuel). By the 1960s, the company had expanded to chemicals, and in the following decade, to electronics (now Aspocomp, which makes circuit boards). In the ‘70s ASPO, as Polttoaineosuuskunta, also distributed Sunoco brand motor oil in Finland, as well as Prestone car care products.

Today, it’s a conglomerate that controls Telko, which distributes plastic materials and industrial chemical products (such as the titular Superpiss), ESL Shipping, and Leipurin which produces and transports supplies and equipment for baking.

In the 1970s, ASPO sold three products for motorists: Zero branded coolant, fuel de-icer Start, and our favorite, SUPER PISS windshield washer fluid. In a 1977 advert, Superpiss (two words back then, not one) was mentioned to consist of isopropanol alcohol, synthetic tensides and phosphates: no urine included. It was said to be safe for plastics and – importantly – “would make driving in grimy road conditions a pleasure.”

The name likely comes from the colloquial term for the windshield washer pump: pissapoika in Finnish, or “the piss boy.” There has to be some sort of a Manneken Piss connotation in there, as if there was a kid underneath the hood, pissing on the windshield. The oldest mention of the phrase in Tekniikan Maailma, the Finnish technical magazine that also had these Superpiss ads in its 1970s issues, dates back to the early 1960s.

A 1992 issue of the magazine mentions that the writer had sent a bottle of Superpiss “to friends in England, to their great mirth”. Some ‘90s issues also feature windshield washer fluid tests, where Superpiss has taken the top spots, and interestingly, in 1995 a knock-off product called “PRF Piss Boy” also featured in the test. It only got two stars out of five and was found to be weaksauce. “Do not pay too much for what is essentially water,” said the headline.

A lot of automotive slang terms in Finland tend to come from neighbouring countries, but “the piss boy” has no such equivalent in Swedish. It’s just “spolare” for windshield washer. Powered windshield washers came out somewhere during the first half of the last century, and the VW Beetle famously had an ingenious solution for it: it used the spare tire air pressure to pump washing fluid from the container. There would have been room for a Piss Boy in the front, though.

Traditionally, there have been other creative uses for the washer tank as well as the name: a November 1990 news item in Helsingin Sanomat, the largest newspaper in Finland, mentions that a three-car convoy was stopped at customs as they arrived from Leningrad on the East German built Konstantin Simonov cruise ship and were found to have vodka, champagne and “liquid believed to be rectified spirit” hidden in the vehicles, including in fake fuel tanks and the “piss boys.”

And through all these years, the Superpiss name has endured. Naturally, it’s only sold in Finland, and it’s actually not that easy to find in stores. I drove up to the nearest Lantmännen Agro, which sells farming supplies, and was pleased to find canisters of Superpiss right at the door. It’s not carried by the big automotive parts chains such as Motonet or Biltema, which have their own house brands.

This particular canister contains pine needle scented Superpiss, which is a welcome break from the usual stench of windshield washer fluid. And luckily it doesn’t smell of … AdBlue.

Top graphic images: Author; Myrabella / Wikimedia Commons /