Have you heard of Sovereign Citizens? I bet you’ve seen videos of them even if you’re not sure of the name. They’re sort of like fantasy role-player people, except instead of a world full of wizards and elves and orcs and smurfs and shit, it’s a world of this strange, parallel bureaucracy where they all somehow don’t have to follow the rules of everyday life in a society, and can work around requirements like taxes and car registration or insurance by showing stacks of weird, complicated documents and speaking in a nearly-incomprehensible dense jargon of made-up legalese. In almost any interaction with actual authority figures or government officials, this never works. They’re also wildly, even fascinatingly annoying to watch in action.
I’m mentioning all of this because I just found out that Walmart – yes, that Walmart, the place where we get our car batteries and Fruity Pebbles – is happily selling not-legally-usable Sovereign Citizen Bullshit license plates for your car.
I know I should know better, but I’m sort of amazed that a mainstream retailer like Walmart is selling this stuff; I always assumed these idiots just got these from Etsy sellers or small private websites, I didn’t realize that one of the biggest retailers in America would be fine selling something that is really only used for illegal purposes. Why the hell else would you want a license plate that says “FREE MAN” and has “NOT FOR COMMERCE USE” and “TRAVELING, NOT DRIVING” printed on it? For novelty value?
It’s not novelty value. All those words are Sovereign Citizen bullshit buzzwords. Like “traveling” instead of driving, or other silly semantic games. And why is FREE MAN a buck more than the others? You’d think BUST ME would be the top-tier one, because it’s the most daring!
Here’s how the UNC School of Government describes Sovereign Citizen’s relationship with things like vehicle tags, from a 2013 report called A Quick Guide to Sovereign Citizens:
Sovereign citizens may issue their own driver’s licenses and vehicle tags, create and file their own liens against government officials who cross them, question judges about the validity of their oaths, challenge the applicability of traffic laws to them and, in extreme cases, resort to violence to protect their imagined rights. They speak an odd quasi-legal language and believe that by not capitalizing names and by writing in red and using certain catch phrases they can avoid any liability in our judicial system. They even think they can lay claim to vast sums of money held by the United States Treasury, based on the premise that the government has secretly pledged them as security for the country’s debts. Based on these beliefs, and a twisted understanding of the Uniform Commercial Code, they try various schemes that they think discharge them from responsibility for their debts.
It’s exhausting.
Here’s a video of a Sovereign Citizen traffic stop in action, in case you were morbidly curious:
There’s whole compilations of bodycam videos of police having to deal with Sovereign Citizens, if you feel like being annoyed even more:
They’re, um, a lot. And I realize my own hypocrisy as I type these words, as I hate dealing with registration and paperwork and all of that associated Kafkaesque tedium. I’ve also had my truck on FARM USE plates for far too long. But everything I drive has insurance and I have a valid license and I do understand the need for these things, because we do live in a society where we all have to work together. It’s imperfect, sure, but there are rules we all need to at least try to agree to, and making up a whole parallel inane legal system just isn’t going to make anything better for anyone.
I don’t think that if Walmart stopped selling these things that any of this would end; Sovereign Citizens would just find another source for these things. But at the same time, it is worth noting that Walmart is making a profit off items that will be used for illegal activity, and, in fact, can really only be used for that. You can buy a bow and arrow at Walmart and use it for illegal things, like holding up a convenience store with a lot more flair than some boring gun, but you can also use it for plenty of legal things, like poking holes in your aluminum siding from 20 yards away or attempting a more exciting way to make kebabs.
But these license plates? Their only use is for dummies who read too many maritime law textbooks to try and drive without insurance before they end up in jail.
It’s worth mentioning that Walmart is like Amazon in that they allow third-party sellers, which this definitely could be. That makes it a little less egregious, I suppose, but it’s still being sold via Walmart’s site, whether it comes from a third-party seller or not. Maybe that makes a difference? I don’t know.
Still, on some basic level, fundamentally, this is all fine for Walmart to sell. What a weird world.
(top image: Walmart, Renault)
“attempting a more exciting way to make kebabs.”
I am now looking for investors for my new restaurant concept. Serious enquiries only.
I was not expecting to see this today. My great uncle – a real-life Wilford Wiggins, always working some scam or scheme – did federal time for selling the “you don’t have to pay taxes” part of this. He’s also on the SPLC hate group list for his other…activities.
What’s stopping you from putting real plates on your truck?
Have you met Jason.
No, but I have a feeling that he doesn’t come across as an especially plausible farmer!
The only thing he farms is chaos.
I’ve seen the private one on a junked out aerostar on a back road once. It probably cost the guy 10% of what he payed for the van. If they put a farm use plate on and only use the back rual roads I doubt most police officers passing though would think too much about it. On a main road then probably. I’ve talked with a few of people with that belief system and they seem to think they can win a court case and just be allowed to do as they are. So they in a weird way want to the be arrested so they can test the laws and pehaps the whole legal system. They actually believe these jailhouse lawyers / conspiracy theoriest that miss placed their meds.
Sovereign Citizens are both funny and annoying as all heck. But when one of them kills a couple of Policemen and hides in the mountains like what happened in my state of Australia a few weeks ago you gain a different perspective.
https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2025/aug/28/who-is-dezi-freeman-porepunkah-victoria-police-shooting-suspect-sovereign-citizen-ntwnfb
BTW This fine member of the public was both getting disability money from the Government and being arrested for sexual assault.
Like Ayn Rand getting Social Security checks? Or my dork younger brother Trump republican living in section 8 housing, on Medicare and Social Security smoking cigarettes and consuming vast amounts of our broken medical system?
There’s a perverse belief amongst a certain political ideology that somehow THEY’VE earned it, but just don’t give that gubmint money to anyone else.
The videos these morons post on FB like to also criticise the potholes in the roads and cleanliness of public toilets etc. The ones that our taxes provide…
They also sell fake motorcycle gang color stuff, so you can pretend you’re an outlaw biker. Goes over well with all sorts of people, I’m sure.
All the outlaw bikers I’ve met have been pleasant and very polite, sometimes in that menacing making a point of being polite way, but still. But infringing on their territory is something you really don’t want to do.
Come to think of it, my experience is limited to Hells Angels, other MC club may be the psychos depicted in movies for all I know.
As a trucker, I dont mind hells angels or other motorcycle gangs. They stay left doing 90, I stay right doing 70. Now motorcycle “clubs” cosplayers, they scare me. Once had a bunch of them cut in front of me, slow down, then the one passing me on the shoulder brake checked me because I didn’t back off fast enough. Ya know Harleys have CB radios? They love yelling at truckers about how we are in their way, motorcycles should be given right of way, and they will cut you off because truckers are always wrong. I reply i have a dash cam, they shut up and take off. Damn cosplayers
My experience is limited to social interactions at clubs, parties and saying yellow on the sidewalk in NYC . Once I somehow ended up taking a bunch of Dutch Hells Angels to CBGB on thanksgiving evening. They didn’t speak a word of English. I didn’t speak a word of Dutch. It was fine.
Saying hello , not yellow. No weird code other than than the random word changes by iPhone
Why no FLTERTH?
I need my two favorite belief systems to team up!
All I can say about sovereign citizens is when my mental health is down I go on YouTube and watch these idiots get pulled and promptly dealt with.
Now I feel better about watching those shows about hoarders when I feel bad about my messy house!
“DMSHT” – $19.99
“FNGMRN” – $21.99
“STOOPD” – $24.99
“CSNFKR” – $39.99
“SHOOTME” – $49.99
Lol, sovcits. That flag has fringes, you have no power here!
I want one that says “FREMEN” but I guess that would only be legal for riding Shai Hulud across the desert.
The only mode of transportation that requires a DUI.
“I don’t think that if Walmart stopped selling these things that any of this would end; Sovereign Citizens would just find another source for these things. “
They’ll still be selling paper and crayons.
Meh, whatever. Perfectly fine as a joke on the front of cars in single-plate states like Florida. Though I think the actual German tourist plate from my last Euro Delivery on the front of my convertible is way cooler. Thinking about getting a vanity plate with the same registration number. But that costs money, and I am a cheap SOB.
If someone is putting it on the rear of the car *seriously*, then I look forward to watching the bodycam footage on YouTube at some point. Most of the SovCit ones are HILARIOUS – especially in FL, where the cops DO NOT play around with this crap
My first thought was that if Jason ever gets his truck fully legal he’ll have to keep FARM USE on the front since NC’s a one-plate state.
They might advertise them as “for entertainment purposes only” but I bet most people buying this crap think they’re serious.
As George Carlin always said “imagine how dumb the average person is, then remember that half of them are DUMBER than that”.
I would add that in the US of A the average is not all that high to start with.
These people really must be insane if they think the U.S. treasury has any money to give them.
“Inbred Dipshit Self-Identification Placard: $22.99, free shipping”
I feel like these world be perfect to use on an Autocross or track day
“But everything I drive has insurance and I have a valid license”
Was the Changli licensed and insured when you were driving it around town??
look, let’s just all relax here
Driving seems like a strong word to describe what you do in the Changli.
I have watched a few SovCit vids and yes, the word to describe them is exhausting. They are exhausting. I am frankly amazed at their ability to hold forth at length on the arcane, convoluted logic that underpins their belief system. And when it still doesn’t make sense to you, they’ll repeat it. Louder.
As a cop – and this is definitely a very good reason for me to never be a cop – I’d be inclined to tase them just to shut them up.
These people are very much stuck in a me-first/me-only worldview, where the words “society” and “community” are rejected because they too closely resemble socialism and communism.
I’ll make it short: taxes pay for the roads. You want to use the road, pay your taxes. Part of getting to use the road is proving you can do it safely and your car isn’t stolen. That’s license and registration. If you won’t take on that responsibility, you can walk. Walking is free, no taxes required even though the sidewalks didn’t just sprout there on their own. You’re welcome.
The weird thing is, they believe some sort of illegal, nefarious, all-powerful, shadowy cabal has subtly taken over all levels of government – AND that said shadowy cabal will just roll over, give up, and let you go free from them if you go just through the proper procedures and file the right paperwork with them.
Generally speaking, they will accept direct orders from Sherriffs. Not deputies, mind you, but elected Sherriffs. No idea where their “logic” comes from in that but there you go.
I think its because they see sheriffs as sort of the most old-timey law enforcement-adjacent positions, and therefore somehow more legitimate or something. I don’t know, ask 10 SovCits and get 10 completely different, but equally rambling and incomprehensible answers.
Either that, or because sheriffs in most states basically just enforce court judgements and transport prisoners – since SovCits don’t recognize the courts, it means they don’t see sheriffs as a threat to them
I’ve also heard of some of them somehow deciding that the Pennsylvania Supreme Court is for some reason the highest legitimate court in the country, even among those with no connections to Pennsylvania themselves. I have no idea which ass they pulled that out of, seems like someone maybe just threw darts at a map or something
Somehow, the sovereign citizens see the sheriff as the highest authority, and essentially a law unto themselves. Unfortunately some sheriffs think that way too.
It’s like dungeons and dragons, but without the dragons.
The Trump regime and the shadow government (the 1% rich techno-bros) pulling his strings?
Having roads is nice even if you only have mail delivery, emergency vehicles, and pizza deliveries.
If you don’t want to interact with the government, that’s fine. Just go somewhere else.
None of the preceding in any way lets the government and the rest of the world off the hook for being jerks, but pretending it doesn’t exist while breathing air, drinking water, eating food etc. and expecting life to be straightforward is nuts.
I long for the before days when Maggot Brain was one of the greatest guitar improvisations ever, not the nickname for the government guy telling people what to eat and what their doctors can anticipate can’t do.
Covid conspiracies lead me to Sov Cits and FLERFs, I know far too much about their logic and theories. Sometimes the most exhausting part is the amount of explanations police and courts allow. It’s the reverse of scam baiters, scam baiters take up phone/internet scammers time, effectively costing them money and time they could spend scamming someone. SovCits waste time and money police and the courts could be using on real work.
Well, kind of, but not really. This is a Walmart Marketplace company, not Walmart themselves. You can use Walmart’s eCommerce site to launch your own business in a similar business model to Etsy or Shopify.
While Walmart does offer their own fulfillment services (meaning they warehouse and ship your products for you), you can also do it on your own, so you’re really just using their eCommerce tools but otherwise have no affiliation with Walmart.
So “Walmart” really isn’t selling this stuff, and probably doesn’t even know about it.
Yeah, I once tried to buy a set of over-the-appliance shelving from them – I wanted a self-supporting/freestanding rack that would fit over the washer and it had to fit within some pretty specific height and width limits – Walmart’s site was literally the only place I found exactly what I was looking for. Except, it was drop shipped from some Chinese company, and what showed up was a tiny blister pack envelope that was completely empty. For all the valid criticisms you can make about them, obviously Walmart corporate didn’t have anything to do with processing and shipping that order – I assumed they were at least policing the people selling on their site somewhat, but, evidently not.
Anyway, Walmart did refund my money themselves, and I ended up just building shelves, which was what I was trying to avoid having to do
It’s the exact same thing Amazon (and lots of other etailers, like Newegg, do. They just provide visibility, warehousing, fulfillment, and payment processing for 3rd party sellers in pretty much any combination.
I was going to make this point as well, though it is a distinction that makes all the other jokes about the type of folks who shop at Walmart a bit less humorous.
But as you point out, the Walmart Marketplace was Walmart’s attempt at moving into Amazon’s space, which is why in-store pickup and delivery are not available. Credit to Walmart for attempting a daring pivot and making their website even more obnoxious to use in the process, as from what I’ve seen online it actually has proven moderately successful (or at least successful they are keeping the Marketplace around).
Yeah, that point wasn’t lost on me as I typed that, but Torch laid pretty hard into Walmart themselves, which I didn’t think was fair in this instance.
Also, I would expect an internet-savvy person like Jason to know better here, so if he genuinely wasn’t aware that Walmart Marketplace exists, it’s a good PSA in general to look very closely at the actual seller of items you buy online. Don’t just assume that when you buy from Amazon or Walmart.com, those companies are the actual seller.
Absolutely a fair point, and you have my full concurrence fellow Autopian!
Walmart has removed items/vendors they found objectionable before. I wonder if they’ll remove these plates at any point.
I’m sure they would if it was reported to them.
I suspect I am not the first to report it, but I have reported. Their categories for reports don’t include enabling illegal activity. If it’s not intellectual property, stolen property, or counterfeit, they don’t have a category for reporting the item.
We were talking about these idiots the other day and I’d almost buy a set as a gag gift, but it’s not a $23 joke and what do they do with it? More crap in a landfill.
Truly these people are idiots. You can’t get sovereign plates and documents from Wal-Mart, items are for amusement purposes only, you need to get them from a proper legal sovereign entity. That is why I get all my documents from the kingdom of Petoria.
Fredonia!
There a village in Wisconsin called Fredonia. I pass it every time I drive up to Road America. I take a picture of the sign every once in a while.
https://www.fredonia.edu/sites/default/files/section/about/offices/marketing-and-communications/fredonia_athletics_logo_201703_1.jpg
I’m generally against wearing the logo of schools I didn’t attend, but that looks pretty good.
My college used be The Pagans until someone complained about the marching band song about human sacrifice , ritual sex, and drug use.
Now they are the Raptors. Dumb name.
I’ll get mine from Freedonia. From President Rufus T. Firefly himself!
I’m a happy citizen of Wakanda. All my official documents are holographic, too!
Flashes my Conch Republic passport
I feel there are not as many family guy fans here as I thought.
On my way there now to snag a sweet Gulf of America t-shirt. /s
They only come in 4x and above you know.
Thank you for that post. Laughing out loud
Np if I can bring joy to just one person every day on this site well I might get COTD by attrition
Silly me, I thought they’d been calling themselves Soft-Brain Citizens all this time.
You have actually been in a Walmart, haven’t you?
“A Fool and his Money are soon parted”
Considering how broke everyone is, is everyone a fool or is it more than fools that are parted from their money.
There has to be a fart joke in there.